137: You Think I Got a Perm AND a Convertible? (with Steve Berg)
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Oh, we are back, everybody. We are back with High Strangeness, the host of High Strangeness, Mr. Steven Berg. Hey, how's it going?

A fan favorite. Oh, stop. Everyone loves your episodes. Well, that's adorable. That makes me feel good about myself. I have a very low self-esteem, so I could always use the pick up. Do you think that's true, Steven? No, I don't. I'm trying to be charming and Midwest-y, but no. I am a folksy guy, but I have a healthy ego. Jake, I didn't tell you this, but I had a very interesting conversation today.

With my good friend Jessica Knapik. She is a fellow weirdo in the weird paranormal realm, and she was telling me she just had a great conversation with a pet psychic. Right? And she is a lover of dogs, has a dog. You know, it's her co-pilot. And so she's like, well, how can I be a better owner? And she goes, the number one complaint from all dogs and cats is

this pet psychic said, is that the owners don't change the water enough.

And it got me thinking. It's like, you know, this is true. This is the number one complaint of dogs and cats that we don't change the water enough. Once a day isn't enough. You do. We need to do it in the morning, the evening. If you think about it like this, you ever like had a couple too many to drink and maybe take a glass of water to bed with you. Yeah. Then the next morning you drink that water. It's all stank ass. It sucks. It's like lint in it. It has like a, it tastes like someone dropped a handful of nickels in there. It's awful. Yeah.

So, I mean, this is free advice. The first one's free. The next one's going to cost you. But if you guys have fur babies out there, change that water morning and evening. Don't be a jerk. I don't want to hear this, Stephen. I don't want to hear you say it could be or could not be. I don't know. What's your real opinion on pet psychics?

I've never met one. Okay, so I won't do a qualifier. Sure. Yeah. I think there's something to it. You do? Yeah. You think a woman or a man can communicate with pets and get some vibration? And she heard from that fucking little dog, my number one complaint in the whole wide world is not that I have to hold my dump while you're at work. I can't piss inside or you rub my face in it. My number one complaint, why?

Why did they communicate with one person? Here's what it is. Change my water. I mean, I don't make the rules. This is what they're saying to the psychic. It's not that the psychic walked in, saw a water bowl and went, they're upset about that. Or guessed. Yes. How about this as a complaint? When we go for walks, can you quit pulling my fucking neck? I'm smelling a dump. If you guys were paying attention.

She was saying this as like a survey. Like she has talked to multiple clients because she said the number one complaint from dogs and cats. So it wasn't just like a one-time deal. They didn't see it. Guess what? She's been asking dogs and cats from all over the world.

I mean, she might have pulled 300 different animals at this point. You got two beautiful cats, Steven. I do. David and Steven. Steven Jr. Steven Jr. I named after myself. What do you think their complaints would be?

Well, I think it was the water bowl until I started doing two days and now they're happy as clams. What is their biggest complaint? Probably that one from them. What? You never let them outside. They're in prison. Well, I want them to live forever. I understand you want the number one complaint.

I would like to go outside one time in my life. I'd like to smell the grass. I'd like to see a bird. I'd like to catch a mouse outside. But this fucking guy keeps me inside. It's a prison. I'm in a prison. You might be right. Okay, you might be right. You know what you don't complain about? Number one complaint from someone in prison is not the toilet bowl is dirty. Okay.

The number one complaint is get me out of this jail cell. You are poking a whole lot of holes, a lot of holes in this psychic. I'm starting to rethink things. Kevin, you got that hedgehog, right?

But I will say to Steve's defense, it is a weird thing that I clock. I'm paranoid about his water. And so as much as I'm teasing you, I do like a couple times a day go like, I got to make sure that water is he's not. But with him, he gets the bedding in. He like kicks stuff into the water bowl. It's not like the water stale, but what's your name, Kevin Clippy? What would Clippy's number one complaint be?

Probably that he's owned by me. Oh, Kevin. I think he'd be a sweet owner. By the way, same with both my dogs. It would go like, I think I'm fine. I like the woman. I like the kids. Can we get a different guy owner? Could his vibe change a little in his greetings? Yes.

I think all number one complaint is going to be from space. I think you're a hedgehog. The number one thing is, I don't know if you let that guy run around when no one's around, but at night he's like...

I gotta live in this tiny little cage. I don't live out. I'm not a wild hedgehog. Yeah. What do I do? I'm not living underground and just hedgehog. And I'm in a jail cell. My dogs, their complaint is I'm not in a pack of dogs. Just fucking running around. Yeah. Ripping. Yeah. I got, I got an Australia minute miniature Australian shepherd. You know what her complaint would be? I'm not shepherding. Yeah. I'm not, I'm not doing my dog sits outside, stares out the window. Just hoping a wolf comes around so she can bark at it. Yeah.

The lab is constantly looking around like, is there something I should do? It's like, just fucking eat a little pepperoni roll and sit on your ass. It's all you're meant for now. I mean, you're a guy who's eating quite a bit, Jake. And I'm sure your dog's like, why do you get to eat all the time? Why do you get that burrito? Well, I think there's...

The gross reality is the reason they follow me around is just the spillage. When I can't shove the whole thing in my mouth, enough rice falls on the floor where they're like, this fucking guy's extras could feed a village. Watch that idiot try to eat chips. I'm going to eat an entire dinner. This is going to be a buffet. This guy's such a slob. My wife's like, I don't know why they keep gaining weight. I'm so strict with them. And I'm like, I didn't tell you either. In other news, I had two burritos.

A lot of the rice I didn't get to eat, though. The dog's like, got him. Oh, God. We got a really fun episode, everybody. We do. So without further ado. Hello. Hi. Welcome to the show. We're here to help.

How you doing? We're doing great. How you doing? Fantastic. Fantastic. I'm Gabby. Gabby? Yeah. Where are you calling from, Gabby? I'm calling from upstate New York. Gabby from upstate. And what do you do for work, Gabby? Pastry chef. Pastry chef. Love a pastry. Love a pastry. Gabby, if you were in the jungle and you looked behind you and there was an animal, what's that animal?

probably a python coming down hanging down fuck yeah scary so gabby upstate pastry chef scared of pythons and excited by them what can we do for you all right so my husband well my whole family my little immediate family we all take karate

traditional karate fuck yeah traditional is the only way to do it what are you gonna do modern karate fuck off i'm sorry we don't have a little naked grappling um but i love tradition by the way i have traditional karate all right to quote you let her cook fair fair i attacked i attacked let the pastry chef cook i agree so you guys love traditional karate

I can't let it go. Go ahead, Gabby. So my husband will be testing for his black belt January 3rd. Oh, so he's way better than some of the other people on this call. Okay. Shut up. So I'm just, let us talk. I'm talking to Gabby a little.

Let me talk to her. Okay, so your husband does real competitions. He doesn't have a little weird mannequin in his car. Shut up! I'm talking to Gabby. He does the local ones that we have here. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Jake's strange. Okay, so keep going. So he's testing for his black belt. Way further ahead than some people. Go ahead. I, unlike other traditional wives, I'm not that great at present giving because he's just very a content person. He just wants to be hanging out, uh,

And, you know, just being with each other, playing video games. If he could play Mario Party with us every night, like that's something he would do with the kids. Wonderful. But I want to celebrate him in a funny, weird way that would make him laugh. Okay, so he's about to be a black belt in traditional karate.

And you're wondering what is a fun way to celebrate this man's accomplishments? Because you, Gabby, are not the greatest of gift givers. And what's his name? Jack. Jack. And Jack would just be happy hanging with the family playing video games. But you're thinking...

Getting a black belt in traditional karate is a big deal. Big deal. Big deal. And we should do something fun to celebrate his accomplishment. Yes. I don't want to just have a boring party and have people like, come over and eat chicken wings. Great. That sounds boring. All right. I got a pitch. We'll do something grand. All right. This is a blue sky. What do you got? Everybody dresses up in black karate geese. Okay. And they are the bad guys from Karate Kid.

And one by one, he does a demo to show how he would beat everybody at the party with a simple kick, punch or toss. Well, what if most people are at the party are also from the dojo? Off of that, I have I like that off of that. What about this?

What about if you just take your phone and you do a shot for shot recreation of a montage from the Karate Kid with him? And that'll probably be very easy to edit together to a Karate Kid song. And you just have something like that play at a party for him. Okay. All right. Feels like the board's not broken. So he'd have to be in on it. Yeah. Yeah.

That is the issue with my pitch. But I like the idea of a surprise. I do too. I like the idea of a surprise. Yeah, I like the idea that he shows up to something. I mean, here's a crazy pitch and I don't really have an end to it. But what if you're having a party and a group of bad guys break into the party? Okay. You need a black belt to save the day. Because that's what karate is not for. Trophies.

Why not do that, but bring him in on it so it's like a performance at his party? Okay, I see where you're going. Does that ruin it? I just feel like a bunch of people showing up, he has to fight them, could get hairy.

because there might be a lot of injuries so gabby give us some help here what are you kind of thinking where's where's your where's your heart at where is it what belt are you by the way oh i'm only a blue belt i'm only a blue belt my kids are a higher belt than i what are you jake are you a belt shut up he doesn't even wear when he goes there bare bones it's fine gabby gets it i'll tell you how i do my martial arts

A pair of fucking boxer briefs and nada else, man. It's crazy. You're acting like that's a tough guy thing to say. That's an old style and a motherfucking parliament light. That's like the last thing a guy says before getting thrown out of a bar. Nope. I'll tell you how I do my martial arts. A pair of Crocs and boxer briefs, a par light, and a fucking coldie in my fucking hands. And guess what? Three bowls of chili in my stomach. That's not dangerous.

Well, because the first one tasted so good. I had the second one, and then the third one was a challenge. I won eight bucks. So, Gabby, back to you, Gabby. What do you think Jack would want for this party? Is that an enormous new tattoo on your arm, Gareth? Yes. Yes, it is. Are you getting tattoos?

Post 50? Oh my God. I'm not 50. No. First of all, no. Is this a, are you going to get a- I'm not, I'm young. This year, you got a perm and a tattoo. Are you okay? I did not get a perm. There's no perm. Are you okay? There's no perm. I'm very good. Did you get a convertible? No.

You think I'm gonna get a perm and a convertible? You could not sound more you don't get You're wasted your perm if you get a convertible May as well throw that perm cash out the roof What is that tattoo? My dog my dog the dog I took care of part-time last that died like a year and a half ago How long did you have that dog?

It was my friend's dog. I took care of it for about six months, one year, and then on and off for two, three years. Gotcha. So, Gabby, what would Jack like at his black belt party? I just think some kind of adventure. I don't know if it has to be a party or we take him to do something. My question to you would be,

Have you been celebrated in a way in your life that was super exciting for you that you always remember? Maybe it wasn't necessarily. No, to be quite honest with you. No, no, no. If I'm being honest, my birthday was a week ago and my dad forgot. So I'll be honest with you. My dad forgot my 40th. My dad never literally remembers my birthday and has not for, I'd say, 15 years.

Mine felt bad after that. Yeah. So you're probably not talking to the two best guys for an epic thing. Let me ask you this. Does he have an eye for adventure? If you surprised him with an adventure, would he like that? Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. What if you take him skydiving in his gi? Or what if you take him to Japan and go where karate first began?

I would love that. We're not working with Spider-Man money, though. Respect. Are you asking him to take us to pay for it? I love it. I just told you I'm a pastry chef. I make cookies. Respect. Oh, I got one. I love you for that.

Make a huge pastry of him in his gi with a black belt on. The biggest pastry you have ever made. It is a big surprise at the party. Everybody then goes, and I'm talking about like a 40 pound motherfucking pastry.

Like a toddler-sized pastry. Yeah. The biggest you could do with him in the air doing his signature move. So if he's got a nice high jump kick or a head kick, anything that his legs are nice and spread and his arms are reached out. So you can go like and get a great photo of him and then make it into a pastry. You have a regular old party with Karate Kid playing.

everybody's having a good time, all fucking eighties rock and roll playing in the background. And then the big surprises you bring out, if you can do it, a life-size version of him as a pastry. Oh, I love it. Got it. Okay. Well, I love, I love all, I would say, why not theme at Cobra Kai ish, right? He can, you dress him up. And I love that. And I want another thing I think you could do is at the pay at the, do you have a brick and mortar shop where you sell pastries?

I don't. We converted our basement as a commercial kitchen for me.

That's well, I love that. Yeah, I love that, too. I was going to say make little Jack cookies, but I think Jake's pitch of making a big pastry of him for the party is good. I mean, we're just basically talking about a surprise karate birthday at your house, at your house. Yes. And so everything is. What's the biggest pastry you could make, Gabby?

I've never been challenged something like that. Probably pretty large, a few feet at least. I've made displays pretty large. I would say throw him a surprise party that he does not know about. I would say make it very karate-themed.

Where everything's black belt, everybody's got to be in some version of a ghee or something like that. And the food is his favorite food, but I would not tell him the party's going to come because the big thing is then the surprise. And then the big reveal is you have spent time and effort into making a big old pastry of him that everybody gets to eat. I think that's pretty nice. What do you think, Abby?

It's pretty nice. I will say that it's pretty par for the course for me. Okay. Because it's what I do, but I could do that. All right, Gabby, what do you think then? I was thinking more along the lines of an adventure. And if you guys have done wacky things before. I said Japan. You told me you didn't have Spider-Man. That's an adventure. You're not wrong. How about this? Dig a hole in a forest preserve. Okay.

and put his skills to the test. Why not? Here's another thing you could do. You could take him on a hike. You could get him to a mountaintop and you could have him do some shadow boxing on a mountaintop for his birthday. What if you got a mannequin, a bunch of mannequins, put him in geese and he had to beat up all of them in order to enter the party?

And then you make a pastry of you at the end, so he gets the pastry girl, and he gets to... I'm pushing it. I like that he gets the pastry girl, and I'm...

And it doesn't have to be me. Interesting turn of events. It's interesting. Opening the marriage up to pastry cheating. Yeah, I mean, we've pitched... I think we've pitched our lights out. I think Jake's right. We're not going to get a black belt on this one, but... And I don't have one in jiu-jitsu. Yeah, no, Jake just... I mean, again, listen...

It's nice that he has someone supporting his martial art. That would be nice because I know somebody who doesn't support me. I know somebody who doesn't support me. I know somebody who doesn't support me. It looks like a porn locker room. It would be really nice if I had a Gabby on one of these calls, but I don't. I know. Just get Garrett and I got your wheel going for when Jake will inevitably get his black belt.

I have 40 years on that one. I'd love a big fat pastry. There you go. We'll send it. All right, Gabby. Good luck. Thanks, guys.

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Hey, how are you doing? This is Steve Berg subbing in for Gareth Reynolds, and I got my boy, Jake O. Johnson here. And you got Shark! And the Shark! Hi! We are here to help you today, friend. Wait, hold, I gotta say, what is your first name? Oh my gosh, Twizzler? Okay, hold on. Twizzler! Twizzler! Yay! Twizzler, come here.

Twizzler, no! Twizzler, no! Give Twizzler a treat, quick. By the way, Twizzler's a great name if that dog gets violent. Twizzler, stop biting! Twizzler, stop! That's the kind of name it's really hard to make sound aggressive. Twizzler, no! Back off! Twizzler's in the house. So, can we get Twizzler's mother's name, please?

Yes, my name is Emerald. Emerald. And Emerald, I think this is, Kevin, is this true? This is probably around our 300th call or something like that? Probably, yeah. Oh.

This is the first time somebody started screaming either Kevin or Shark. Yeah. We have hit the pinnacle, folks. When a caller starts and goes, Shark! Twizzler, no! Twizzler, no! High energy right off the bat. I love it. I guess that's it. All right, so Emerald, where are you and Twizzler calling from?

um we are in nebraska omaha nebraska uh so so uh i am in that's crazy i am in omaha nebraska right now my friend that's crazy uh emerald from nebraska near the bergman into the shark what can we do for you okay so

I am calling because at work, I, okay. So I, one of my jobs is I work at a restaurant and we have a, we're a smaller scratch kitchen. So a lot of our customers are regulars that we know by name. And one of them is,

everybody on the staff knows him by name and the way that our restaurant is set up is when you walk up to the register to order you can see everybody in the kitchen like it's an open kitchen suit everybody sees everybody and everything that's cool and very hip this one regular yeah this one regular um he is a lawyer and he literally has his own law firm and everything i think he even used to be a federal investigator but anyway either guys anyway

He always comes in wearing like a three-piece suit, looks like he just walked out of court, and he always orders food to go because he always takes it back to his office because he's always working, whatever. And for to-go orders, whenever we're bagging up the orders, we ask him if they want napkins, utensils, ketchup in their bags. And his response every single time was,

Well, I should say he is a really big fan of our soup because our chef makes all of the soup homemade from scratch and it's delicious. And he always orders a bunch of soup to go. And we're in soup season right now. And his response every single time when we ask him if he wants napkins or utensils is he goes, nope, just going to raw dog it. Just going to what it? Raw dog it. Raw dog it. Raw dog a cup of soup. We're sick people here.

And when he does this, he makes the, like, gesture that he's drinking. Like, he's drinking it out of a container. Oh, so he does, like, the hand motion, like, I just drink it like it's a cup of coffee. He's doing space work. Exactly. He goes, no, I don't need that, but let me open this cupboard and grab some salt. Really?

And we all know he's going to say this because he says it every single time without fail. And he says it like, like nothing to have him at the office is like the tone that he says it in. And we all just wait until he leaves and we all just crack up about it and joke about it after he leaves. And so,

That was what he was doing before. And recently he's graduated to saying like other weird stuff with a completely straight face. Such as? Example, please. Yeah. So he, one time recently he came in and he walks up to our pickup counter and he's leaned in, looking over his shoulder, like hunched down, like about to trade state secrets or something. I was like, what? What do you want? And what are you doing? And he goes, you know what I'm here for.

I need some love and I need it in my throat. Okay. Oh,

So he just says weird things, but I genuinely think that he doesn't think about the things that he's saying because he's really book smart. And I just don't think he's street smart. So my question is, do I specifically, it's about the raw dogging soup. Do I address it with him? And how do I do that? How old is this gentleman? Yeah, that's a great question. Because if you're saying 70, it's very different than 31.

No, he's like probably mid forties. He's starting to go a little gray up top, but he's very energetic. He knows what he's doing. He knows exactly what I'm saying. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I mean like he, he, he's, he doesn't agree. Yeah. He doesn't have street start smarts in the sense that he doesn't know what it's appropriate or not. Like he has, he doesn't understand the boundaries. Yes. But is,

Is there any part of you or anybody in that staff that feels unsafe or uncomfortable with this guy? Or is it more a gag and we want to figure out how to fuck with him? Yes, exactly. That exactly. And I have the kind of... I'm the front of house manager where I'm very customer facing and I can get along with people really easily and kind of like bond with them and I know their names and whatever. And so I'm... I have a little bit of like more of a jokey side with people, with our customers. So I feel like I could totally...

I get it. It makes perfect sense to me. So Justin, we just wanted to clarify that a little bit, but now we're in the same zone. Yeah. So we all love him. He's great. What if we led out with something to out weird, the weird guy in that he, he goes like,

uh you know he's looking around he's like can i get some of that soup and you go want me to shovel it right in your ass right or you go you got a soup and you get like a big like turkey baster and you go like this uh any interest in me putting this in between your butt cheeks and just getting it in there fast or you want to raw dog it through the mouth big daddy what are you thinking

I was thinking. Not Big Daddy. Yeah, I love all that. I love like leading out with the kind of being the aggressor. You could also do something like that where he says that you go, uh-oh, sir, I'm going to have to cancel that order like you're fake canceling him. And then you go, just kidding. Then when you hand him the soup, you wrap it in like a comedically large amount of plastic wrap. So it's like you're putting like 100 condoms on it.

so it becomes really hard to eat he's like fuck he's like god dang it I have to like you can swear Steve we're not on Disney ooh fun but I think I mean making it super hard for him to get to and if he over wrap is fun you know what you could also do if you don't want to do I mean one thing you could do you could keep a straight face with this where you could just ask if he goes like can I get some soup and you go for the mouth or the butt

and say it like you're a little distracted where he goes what and he goes are you putting this in your mouth hole or your butthole my man yeah i i do like i do like where steve is going with this idea of an overwrap there's something you could do like you could put like 50 peppers in his bag i was gonna say you could like you could put whatever the soup item is like in an oversized bag fill it up with like

pepper, salt, extra napkins, a waste of materials. Hopefully they'll get the joke and give them back to you. We don't want to waste plastic. Take it easy with the messaging, Steve. Nobody's listening to this going like, geez, I really learned a lot about Steve about how to be more eco-friendly, you Uber. I'm hopping on a boat for Greenpeace later tonight. So...

And by boat, I mean standing in front of Trader Joe's and trying to raise some money. It's more of a sushi boat. Have you had...

Have you had Trader Joe's new maple sea salt california because it's fire. I bet it is everything from there. They do great work. Oh, it's so good. And so what do you think Emerald about these early pitches? That is lead out with something weird or make his bag weird over wrap stuff, make things a challenge, uh, tape his, uh, soup closed with duct tape. Yeah. So I,

I for sure love the idea of like outweirding him because I think he'll just think it's hilarious. And I can also say that he has a coworker that comes in sometimes with him, but more often than not, they come in at different times and we'll call them Abbott and Costello. I don't actually know who they are, but I love Arrival. So that's where I know the reference from. But anyway, so we'll call them Abbott and Costello. So he does have a coworker that comes in often. We'll call the coworker

Abbott and the main guy Costello. And so I was wondering if I like bring it up to Abbott somehow and be like, does Costello realize the things that he talks about, whatever, but I like the approach of outweirding him somehow. The thing about packaging it and making it really hard for him to get to is if he's just ordering soup, we plate it for him while he's waiting and he can look into the kitchen. So he would see us doing that. Yeah, I understand.

Yeah. And so I think that it'd be, that would work if he wasn't watching us do it. I think it'd be more funny if he just were to, if we give it to him in the black bag and then he gets to work and he opens it and he's like, what? Right. Well, you could always do a fake, a fake bag in like, you know, you know, I mean, you could, he could see it being played and then you could have a bag that's already packed and just kind of, you know, do a switch.

That's true. Do a little switcheroo, switcheroo action. And what would be, in terms of this question, what is the goal you're hoping to get out of it? Do you want it to stop? Are you hoping he laughs? What's the win for you out of this? I mean, just...

a laugh probably just how do i like how do i bring it to his attention where like he doesn't feel weird yeah well bad weird i guess where it makes him like stop coming yeah but you want him to realize that yeah you guys get that he's an eccentric guy and you find it funny

Yes. Oh, for sure. Absolutely. Yeah. You could go get, uh, like big pieces of paper and on one be like, uh, right. Raw dog and underline and put stars all around and run. Like I want it, uh, love in my throat.

and all his weird things. And when he says something weird, you turn back and go like, if he's looking and he goes like, I want that the hard way in my mouth. Then you turn back and you go hard way in my mouth. And quickly one of the prep cooks writes it down. And then you all go like, yeah,

Yeah. The hard way. And then it's like, everybody's celebrating it. And you guys say like, as a joke, we're making, we're putting your things in like a, you know, like in and out has like a secret menu. Yeah.

So like in and out in California, if you ask for like an animal style, it's different. And then like real in and out nerds are like the greatest thing to do is say like triple double dog dare me. And then they don't cook the onions, but they feel like really special about it. Right. It's just a hamburger, but you could do a version of that with him where you guys are creating your own joke menu just for him with his terms.

Oh, I think that's fantastic. Especially because like, since you can see our whole kitchen and all of our staff in it, that seems really fitting for our environment. And like our owner, our chef and our owner, she is like more Christian and religious. But she cusses a little. She is all for it. She makes an appropriate joke. She's, you know, I think that that's totally something that she would be comfortable with too within her wheelhouse to just make it weirder and laughier.

laugh about it and i think too i think in order to like sell this really great i think you need to get the whole kitchen staff and everyone on board so when you say like number five the hard way whatever whatever you're gonna say yeah they all repeat it back even though they don't do that usually i think i think like one of those like cooking shows because then right away the lawyer be like oh god like it's a thing you know like i think that's really fun yeah

he'll hear his words repeated back and then be like, oh. By everybody in the kitchen staff having fun with it and laughing and giving high fives to each other. And they had to commit to it though and not like look at him and giggle like they're doing it as a joke. They need to commit to it like Jake was saying, I think. What do you think, Emeril? Are you going to try this? Oh, that's amazing. Yes, absolutely. I think that's incredible. And like literally all of our staff are women except for one. We have one guy

And so we, I feel like even if I didn't tell them what I was doing, I'm kind of the loud conversational one at work anyway. And I feel like even if I were to just do it, yeah, they would go, they would play along regardless. And, but especially if I were to tell them and have them rally behind me, I think it would be hilarious. It'd be so funny. And then could you do us a favor and record it? I don't know how it could, like, I guess if when he came in,

maybe on your phone maybe have it set up because it would be really fun i don't care much about him we don't need to reveal him on camera but it'd be really fun to see you say like raw dog and then everybody in the back be like raw dog in the soup raw dog in the soup you may have to let me know when this happens and i'll be it i'll be an extra in the background just some plants

That's incredible. Oh my gosh. Yes, absolutely. I will absolutely record it. We appreciate the call. Thank you.

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Hey everyone, it's the shark. The original call from this next follow-up aired on September 26. It's called organized fun can be tricky with Steve Berg and it is the first call from the episode. So if you'd like to listen as a quick refresher, go for it. Enjoy. Hello. Hi, this is a follow-up, but we don't know what the follow-up is. So could you take over, remind us what your call was, remind us what our pitch was, and then let us know what's happening.

Yes. Okay. So my original call was one with Steve Berg where his chicken caught on fire in the oven. And my personal advice or ask for advice was around organized fun. I was going to Chicago with my husband and his friends and there was a Segway tour involved. Oh, right. Okay.

Your advice was to say that I had vertigo, and so that would be our way to get out of it. Right. It's so funny that this call was you called us for advice, and unfortunately, Steve...

burning his chicken really overshadows your first call because I do remember it but all I remember is Steve had vertigo and he couldn't go on a canoe so actually it was his advice yes so walk us through what happened did you use the excuse did you get out of the segue where are we at

Yep. So, I mean, to Garrett's point, we, the advice was to say vertigo. We were going to do that. But it was going to be put on my husband to do it because it's his friends. He didn't actually like tell them that. So when we got there, like we were doing all the group friend fun things. And actually the night before we were supposed to go on the tour, we,

we were staying at his friend's own, an investment property. So they were like, you guys can stay here. We usually rent it out for like Airbnb and things like that. But we want you to stay here. There was actually like a semi break in. And so it kind of put a damper on the night. Nothing like,

serious was taken or no one was hurt or anything, but like they had noticed that their back door was open. There were some things missing from their, their basement. And so it in a funny way brought us all together. It was kind of a moment for us to all be like, Oh, like we should, you know, do this together. It'll be fun. It will kind of take away from the stress of, of having to deal with this,

Not so great thing happening. So the next morning we all decided to go. I was a good sport. And actually, we ended up having a really fun time. Just so far. I mean, Jake, we're thinking the same thing. This is a great story.

Could have could not have less to do with our input. All our input was, was Steve Berg burned his chicken. But I will say the takeaway I got from your original call. Don't take advice from Berg. A little bit too much olive oil is a problem. Listen, I'll tell you, don't get as cooked as your chicken before you cook. So what did you take away from the call?

That organized fun is really difficult, especially as an adult. As we get older. Yes. You guys did also mention that, you know, since Chicago is, you know, 420 friendly, that that might take the edge off. I'm glad that we didn't do that. Yeah.

It feels like Berg's advice. Were Garrett and I muted? Yeah, I mean, honestly, I really, like, it just shows you how hard Berg stole the energy of the call. Because it sounds like your advice was Steve burned a chicken and some of the advice was to get really high. Here's her advice. Get high and say that, like Steve, I have vertigo. Hey, here's the advice from the show. Get super high and then say that you have trouble standing. Yeah.

So you ended up just... Doing it. Doing it. We did. And you had a good time. And you had a nice time. And you guys all bonded because you were almost robbed. Yeah, yeah. That is the takeaway. I mean...

Well, shit. It wasn't that bad. I almost want to take the rope out of the bell. This call is so far off our advice. This is for sure. This is for sure. I should melt the bell down. Yeah. It wasn't your direct advice. So...

Okay. So I like what you're saying. It's a Steve loss. So we have a new category. We win, we lose, Steve loses. I think that's pretty good. I do too. So we're really sorry that Steve Berg didn't help you. And I don't know what else to say. I,

I'm glad you guys had fun. I'm glad you didn't take his advice and get high. I'm glad you didn't take his advice and say, get vertigo. I mean, Steve was on our show as a guest and he went...

and threw his headphones off and just ran away madness absolute madness for an adult um but we appreciate you following up and we're glad you had fun in the beautiful city of chicago yeah it just goes to show sometimes we're yeah not worth listening to i mean if you're ever in a city and you're like should i do a segue tour it was surprisingly fun okay good all right there you go

You're not going to hear a bell sound. Actually, ring the bell for segues. I don't know why. Okay. Just for segues. All right. Well, we appreciate the follow-up. Thank you, guys. Thanks. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.