16: Reverse Ladybugs with Pamela Martinez (aka Bayley from the WWE)
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All right, Jake, Jake Johnson. Gareth Reynolds. We are doing it again. How you doing, buddy? I'm good. How are you? Good. Where are you? I'm good.

I'm in Lafayette, Indiana, which is gorgeous. How about doing a stop by of Bloomington? It's so funny because after the show, I did a live dollop last night, and after the show, we do like...

you know, like little meet and greet things. And someone was like, is Wilhelmina here? Cause I was in Bloomington. And I was like, Oh my God. I was like, I completely forgot about that. I would love to have had her. We should have connected. We should have connected. It was foolish, but, but next time. Yeah. So that's an open door policy for any fans. Um, but we have a pretty, uh, exciting episode, Jake. We have a special guest. Uh, we do. We've got from, uh, WWE, uh, Baylor,

Bailey, a.k.a. Pamela Martinez or Pamela Martinez, a.k.a. Bailey from the WWE. We have been in touch with each other for the last couple of years because she was a fan of New Girl and I'm a fan of hers. And so when this one came around, she excitedly jumped on and we're glad to have her. She kills it. Yes. Yes. She's very it's a well-suited call for her. And then, uh,

And then we deal with a problem about honesty in friendships. Truly a new one. A new level for us. Yeah, a new level of dumbness that turns into something bigger. That's right. There's a good lesson to glean from this one, probably, about coming clean. Yeah.

And then I also want to give a quick shout out to our social media director. Yeah, who is Caitlin Tanwakino, and she is crushing. And people can go follow us on stuff now. At HelpfulPod, that's our handle. I believe it's the same on TikTok.

Yep. So and that's not to be confused. Here to help pod. Oh, sorry. Here to help pod. Here to help pod. Ah, yes. Yes. That's why I didn't do it. You see that I agreed right away, though. Yeah, I was like, exactly. I got to take this loss. I got to take this loss. But to give Caitlin a nice shout out.

She emailed the show a couple of weeks ago and just said she was a fan and she felt like our social media was lacking. And would we trust her to take the reins? And we did. And she's killing it. So we're just here to give Caitlin a shout out.

And to tell her, keep going. Great job. And everybody else, give a follow over there and tell her how good she's doing because she's doing a lot of work for us. So follow us there. We're starting to get that all going and continue to share and write in and all that stuff. It helps. But until next time, that doesn't make sense. Do you want to toss to the episode, Jake? So slowly, you're going to start hearing the theme song and enjoy the show.

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Hello. Hello, how are you? I'm good, how are you guys? Good, welcome to the show. We're here to help. You're on with Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds, and a very special guest from the WWE. You've got Bayley on the line, and we are fired up to have her. Welcome to the show, Bayley. Hi.

Hi, ding dong. Hello. Thank you for having me. I'm a little nervous. I might be more nervous than the caller, but you know what? It's okay. That's when I think my clearest. We're here to help you and the caller. Ooh, nice turn. All right. So caller, can we get your name, please? Yes, I'm Alexandra. Alexandra. Great. And where are you calling from? You're allowed to say a fake place, but just so we can place you.

I'm calling from Philly. Philly. Nice. Great. Bailey, where are you from? San Jose, California. If I don't know why I had a weird instinct, you were going to maybe say Philly. Yeah. San Jose. San Jose. The California Philly. Yeah, cool. Yeah. All right, Alexander, what is your question today?

So I have been on this rec soccer team for about 10 months now. And I joined through a mutual friend who is the captain of the team. And we play in a co-ed league. So there are, at any given time, about two to three girls on the team. And I'm one of them. And throughout the past 10 months, we've been playing a game called

about once a week and I just am not really feeling like a part of the team after all this time there are times where I'm the only girl and I

They just, I don't feel like I'm getting the respect. They obviously don't pass to me and one of the other girls. It's pretty obvious. I've had people I know come and watch and they have commented on it. So it's not just coming for me. That's amazing for people to be like, hey, that was really weird.

Those guys never gave you the ball. It was really weird. Exactly. And we're not super close. Like there's not much of a friend vibe between at least a good half of us. Half of them are guys who all went and played soccer in high school together. So they have a very friendly dynamic, but we don't, we haven't really hung out outside of soccer. And I would like to stay on the team because I do see, um,

But so far, and it has been a while, we have not really gotten there. So I guess my problem is I want to be just respected and feel like I fit in on this team. Well, first of all, what's the name of the team? The name of the team is Catch These Hands. I'm sorry, one more time, just so we have it clearly. It's Catch These Hands. Catch These Hands? Yeah.

And again, this is soccer. And we have a guy on our team who will start fights, which is a whole other issue. But yeah, it's soccer. In a co-ed league. Who's the animal who's starting fights in a co-ed league? What's the animal's name? We'll call him Joe. Joe. Okay. So Joe. Fisty Joe. Fisty Joe. You're on a team called Catch These Hands.

You've been on it for 10 months. Very silly. Are you any good at soccer? Or are you dog shit? Where are you at? Yeah, so that's the other thing. I'm scoring some goals. I'm getting some of this. What the fuck? You're good? This is a twist. This is a twist. I thought she was going to say she's dog shit, and I was going to say end of call. Get better. You're good. Yeah.

I'm glad we cleared that up. Yeah. I was super nervous and I'm like, okay, I'm actually kind of holding my own on this team, but it's also, they don't pass as much. So you got to play some selfish ball. Yeah. So then there's also times where like, I'll, I'll assist someone and then they're high five and everyone on the team, except the person who assisted them. And that's not feeling great. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, it could be they could not be passing it to you because they know how good you are and they don't want you to take their their spotlight. The male ego is a jungle, so it's hard to really figure out why, because there's a direct benefit if you're scoring goals and good. You would think that would lead. Yeah, you'd think that that would incline them to be.

You know, even if it's for selfish reasons, cool to you. Not that that's like the right motivation. Is your friends the captain, right? Yes. Is that a man or a woman?

Man, that is a woman, which is the other thing. Yeah. The fucking captain's a lady and we just we just. Yeah. And Jake, you just did the thing where it was like the riddle where it's like because the doctor was the mother. You're like, wow, that's and she's sort of a little she's excluding you a little bit as well.

So she is the leader. She kind of got these people together. I think she knew some of them from work or something. So she started the whole team and she's very, she's very vocal on the field. She really takes charge and kind of demands that attention. Yeah. So they, I think respect her because,

partly they have to because she's the captain and this fucking changes everything so do the guys pass to the captain yes good question they do are you better than the captain wait hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on hold on this might not be a call about sexism alexandra this might be a call about you young lady do you do you do you argue with uh

people on the team how do you feel how do you feel like outside of the chemistry like has anyone ever said something along the lines of like jesus christ alexandra stop has that ever been said no so you're like i'm very you seem very likable i try to be hold on i gotta jump in alexander i gotta jump in here for a second because i'm trying to do the math on this one i'm gonna try to beautiful mind this a little bit yeah goodwill hunting it go for it jake so you're on a team

You feel like you're being excluded. The captain's a lady and a friend. And when everyone's given high fives, she's in those high fives. She is. Yeah. And she, she will include me more, but she's also, she's a mutual friend. So I kind of have, are you, are you the only one being excluded?

Right now, yes, because I'm the only other girl. But I have another friend on the team who has played in previous seasons, and she has the same issues. We talk about it together. Bailey, I'm going to jump into you for a second here. What's your first take, no even advice, just where are you at with this story? I'm so annoyed. You know, I think you need to hit us up, and we need to show up to one of your games and really cheer really loud for you, make signs for you.

I like that. And show them how popular you are, how cool you are, how good you are. Yeah. By the way, I wouldn't do that with just Gareth and I because we're sissies. But if we had Bailey, I would do that for sure. Absolutely. Well, it would be quite strong. Just two guys doing it. You know, not great. I think we add Bailey to the mix. There's a nice balance there. And then one other question for you, Alexander. You got about what? About 14 people on the team.

Um, right now I think we have 11. We play 88. Now I need a really honest assessment. Okay. Where are you at in the 11? Skill wise? Skill wise. You know, one is one out of one is your MVP. 11 out of 11 is the, uh, weirdo who's just there to make friends and smell people water. Yeah.

I mean, my kids just went through soccer. There's always ones just smelling grass. Yeah. Like, hey, hey, hey, heads up. Look at the ball. And you're looking at it. Not with your hand. Not with your hand. You're saying that a lot. Don't pick it up. Oh, my God. I would say in the middle, maybe six. Six out of 11 should be getting high fives. It just should. I have two pitches. And I think we all probably I think we're all probably thinking the same with the first one. Reverse ladybugs.

Right? What? Wait. What's that? What does that mean, you weirdo? Reverse ladybugs. Nobody is thinking what you're... Not one caller in the world goes, oh yeah, reverse ladybugs. Zero out of all the listeners. Reverse ladybugs.

Walk us through what that madness means, you maniac. The Rodney Dangerfield, Jonathan Brandis comedy where Jonathan Brandis pretends to be a young woman and the best player on the team to... Why is everyone looking at me like I'm speaking Spanish? Oh, you're saying she should dress up like a guy? Yes! Oh, my God. LAUGHTER

Fine. All right. I didn't think that would be a lead. I thought we were all going to go. Yeah. I thought we were going to be pitching in with like different, you know, mullets you could wear and stuff. OK, fine. But I mean, I think the captain is probably your your path of least resistance, like figuring out a way to solve the problem via the captain. You already have a pre existing relationship. Do you and the captain hang out? I mean, what what level is this friendship at? We hung out in a group setting.

A few times. To me, I think if it's at all possible to either meet up before a game or just go get a bite to eat or something just to strengthen that bond, that might be

the best way in. Bailey, where are you at with this? What's your kind of first thought? I also feel so. I would wonder how you feel about like, do you want them to like you? Do you want or do you want them to just pass you the ball? Because if you want them to be like, look, I want to be part of the team. I want high fives. Bring in a big bottle of tequila and that solves everything one way. Or you could just go and make your own plays on your own.

Just have a secret meeting with you and the girls and make your own plays and exclude all the boys and be like, grow up. You're talking about fighting. So I'm trying to get these hands. So I'm kind of with Bailey on get these hands, idiot. Form your own alliance within. But I'm going to take these get these hands, idiot, to another level, which is where I was going, Alexander.

Now, I'm not a big believer. If you're with a group of people and they don't want you around saying, please, please, do you like me? You're fucking six out of 11. I would say take your skills elsewhere. Fuck this team. Get in another team that's better than them. Ask if you can be their 11th.

Then kick ass and they go, fuck, Alexander's pretty good. And then when you play catch these hands, let them catch those hands and beat them every game so that the captain goes like, Alexander, are we cool? Will you join us? And you go, no, no, no. I smoke you fools. I don't play with you. High five that. I like that. You like that? Yeah. Is it Alexander or Alexandra?

Alexandra. Okay. Have I been saying it wrong every time? Yeah, but that leads us back to the reverse ladybugs. I think if we do it, we have the name. Yeah.

Which I just think is so, like you're pitching it, you don't even know you're pitching it, Jake, which I think is just kind of another marble on that side of the scale. Gareth, my dyslexia is pitching it. Well, she could play on both teams, so stay as Alexandra on their current team, join another team as Alexander. The question is how much free time do you have? Wait, hold on. I've been saying Alexander? I was like, is he saying Alexander? That's shocking. It's okay.

I'm going to call in for help with names. That's our side podcast. It's just you and I. So Alex. Nice. Thanks. Needed a fix because as I started talking, I realized I'm going to fuck it up again. Solve it, baby. So Alex, you got some advice coming your way on this. You got a reverse ladybugs where you dress like a gentleman. You can go to thecaptain.com.

And you could try to like make nice with her, but I kind of feel like fuck that. It's her job. She's the captain, not you.

Bailey said is a way to make friends with the team is bring tequila and get everybody loose and kind of chill everybody out. Is that right, Bailey? You were kind of liking your own pitch there. Yes. Right. That's what I would do. But you would get everybody kind of loose partying a little bit. Yeah. Be like, relax. We're too old to be not passing the ball. What the hell? I think that pitch is good in the sense, too. If you kick it a little further, it's like.

hang after a game, like, you know, a couple drinks after a game. See if that maybe loosens it up. Yeah. Then you've also got create a secret type of play with the other women on the team so that when you guys score a goal and I'm going to add an amendment to Bailey's pitch, you guys all give each other a high five and exclude the guys. Secret handshake.

Let them feel what it feels like on a winning thing where Joe, the animal goes like, dude, nice. And you go like this. Thanks. And then you give high five to somebody else. And my pitch is, is they've already revealed themselves to you.

You're playing in a field with a bunch of snakes. Get out of that field, join another team, and let them catch your hands. Where are you kind of at on this? What are you thinking? I like the idea of trying to hang out after a game maybe and then seeing the next week if anything improves. Okay. Maybe loosen it up a little bit. Yeah. And then after that, if that doesn't work, I kind of like the idea of making a different team. Reverse ladybug.

Oh, sorry. I just assumed you're going to say reverse ladybug. No, I think that's great. I think one, you know, I think start simple. And then, yeah, if there if that doesn't work, then if you're willing to do that, I mean, that's awesome. That is like a great story.

That's a great edge. Bailey, when is the next time you're going to be in the Philly area in an arena kicking people's asses professionally? Right. Then we could bring Joe Front Row. We could let these fools know who was on this call. This isn't your regular...

Or, oh, it's a comedian. We got a motherfucking professional ass kicker and we got a team who's not included. We got a problem. There's a world where we can bring something here. If Joe comes to one of my shows, I will take him out, get him so drunk that he'll perform poorly in your next game. And you're just going to steal the show. Great.

Great. We've got three great options. And so you think you're going to try to take them out while you're drinking a little bit of tequila with them. Will you bring up the fact that Bailey is softly offering a party night of sorts? And if not, an ass kicking guaranteed. I think I'm just going to throw in like,

scare him a little bit. Be like, yeah, that guy looking at, looking at me from the bar, he's about to get these hands, you know, would you put a little hands? Will you put a little fear of God into these fools? And then what I would really say is put the feelers out for other teams because once people don't want you at their party, don't beg to go, go to another party. There's another team that I guarantee would like somebody who could score. I've been on a lot of teams and when there's somebody who can finish and score, they're,

Give him a uniform. And there's teams that want to whip the shit out of Catchy's hands, especially if you've got an animal like Joe running around fighting in a co-ed league. It would be a joy to beat him for a lot of these teams. Have Joe give us a call, too. It sounds like there's something we've got to dig in there a little bit. Consider taking your talents elsewhere. Yeah, I think we've got a solid game plan. We appreciate your call. And Bailey, we appreciate you joining us. You got anything in closing you want to say? I think you know what to do.

I think, you know, it sounds like a long process, but you got it. Let us know how it turns out, too. I will. Thank you, guys. Thank you. Thank you.

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Hello. Hey, how are you? Hi. Hi. Welcome to the show. You're on with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. Hi. It's nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. Can we get your name? And it could be a fake name and a location. It's Jacqueline and I'm in Colorado. Colorado. You near Carbondale? I don't think so. Denver? Denver. Yeah. Colorado Springs? Suburbs. No, we live out here. Colorado Springs.

So kind of in the... Near Omaha, near Nebraska. Yeah, Omaha. You're right at the border. Kansas. Yeah, exactly. I love that. It's a great area. Sorry, we're just geography guys. Okay, what can we help you with today? I was wondering if I could get some help trying to come clean from a lie that I told a long time ago that's kind of stupid. Love this start. Yeah, yeah.

This feels wheelhouse. Yeah. About, it was probably almost 20 years ago. Holy shit. 20 year life. Yeah. I was working with somebody and she offered me a cupcake and I said, no, like it had coconut on it. And I said, I was allergic to coconut. Like, no, thank you. Are you? And then, nope. I don't know why I said that. I could have just said no.

And then I didn't really worry about it too much because I was thinking it was just going to be like a work-life balance.

And it would fizzle out or something. But then her and I became like best friends really quickly. And then I found out that we just have a lot of similar friends. Hold on, Jacqueline. Hold on, Jacqueline. I just think of all the lies we've heard.

This one is the smallest. This is the smallest. How old were you when you told this lie? I was 21. A 21-year-old lie, and now you're a grown-up. Now you're in your 40s. Lied. So how many times? What's your best friend's name? Gareth. Gareth?

Jake, we didn't want to. Oh, OK. Sorry. Sorry. I was going to say. So wait. So has the coconut thing come up over the years a bunch? Like, have you been to a time you've gone to Hawaii? It's just that we have so many friends in common that we had no idea. And then our circle just kind of grew and we got really close.

Okay. And the fly was so fresh, so I had to just kind of keep doing it. And then... How often is coconut entering your orbit? Not really often, but... But it's still there. It's a real fly.

I ended up marrying her brother's friend. It's my husband now. Okay. And so that kind of came up more with him and like, Oh man, it sort of became just like a thing where I was like, I don't have, I'm not a coconut eater now, I guess, even though I was, I do like it. Then why not have the cupcake? That's what I was going to say. Let's go back in time 20 years. Okay. So I was on a diet and,

Okay. And I was pretty strict with it, but I didn't really want to talk about it a lot. Okay. I get this. I'm with you. I've done weird shit. I've done this too. Especially it was like a new workplace. I kind of...

Yeah, you didn't want to see me. I get you. Yeah. Yeah. They looked homemade. Like, I mean, I cheated on my diet here and there, but it was kind of like the stuff that I felt like it was worth it. It feels like. OK, so let's just backhand this. Yeah, that didn't look like it was worth the cheat. Yeah. And you didn't want to offend the cupcake maker, your best friend.

future friend in your inner circle so you just lied and said you didn't like coconut because it didn't look like it was worth a cheat yeah because a coconut is a shitty cupcake at least give me like peanut butter and chocolate yeah well yeah i mean listen we can what was on the inside i don't want to get into it too deep okay well now your husband okay and then did you tell your husband that this is bullshit

Uh, eventually I did. It's a good question, Gareth. So the only person who's in, the only person you're lying to now is Sarah. I don't know who knows. But if you're in a restaurant and coconut comes on and Sarah's not there, you're eating it. Well, I feel like if I come clean to her, since it was the first time that I lied about it, it would be like pulling the bottom Jenga block out. Let me just ask you a question, Jacqueline.

What is the reason you have not just reached out to her and apologized and said like 20 years ago, I did this goofy thing. I was on a diet and I, I'm not allergic to coconut. What are you, what's the fear there? Um, I don't know if it's really a fear. It's just kind of the reason why I'm thinking about it now probably is because like Halloween's coming up and when we get together, it's usually coconut. Yeah.

And like, no, I take my kids' Almond Joys and Mounds out of their trick-or-treat bags because they don't like them. Okay. And I'm just waiting for one of the kids to blab about it. I mean, this is an easy one for me. If you got something.

I'm straightforward on this one, too. I mean, I have two, but... You go first, because mine's pretty clean. I'll hit you with my clean one. This is the clean one. You just keep the lie going. It's not worth it at this point. It is a very simple thing to just avoid coconut in certain circles. You're not, you know what I mean? You're not like putting coconut in everything.

I think at this point, just like you said, it's the Jenga block. I get to lie. It's just it's gross. Say is weird. It's going to be weird. The other an extension of that, which I don't like, but just as an option is you do the reverse lie.

And you say you just went to an allergist because you had like a rash on your back and the allergist ran some tests on you. Turns out you're not allergic to coconut. And actually, holy shit, do you love it? You're coconut nuts. Go ahead, bud. The reason why I like doing this with you is you are a true maniac.

Those are the worst two clean pitches. Come on. I truly believed we were going to be on the same page. I did too. I thought I saw a nod. I thought I saw a nod. There was no nod? It was the nod of shock.

It was the nod that people do to me when I talk. Yeah. It's so nice to do to another. I know. And I think that's why this works. Because we both feel good about being like, wow, this guy's a lunatic. Jacqueline, here's what I would say. Oh, my God. That I think is clean. And maybe you're going to look at me the way I'm looking at Garrett, but I don't think so. Oh, man. I think you have to, at this point, send a text or an email.

to Sarah and say, we need to talk. My tone is more dramatic, but this is serious. Take her out, go face to face and say, I need to tell you something. And it's important that you know this. 20 years ago, you offered me a coconut cupcake. Do you remember it? She's going to say no. She's going to say yes. Then if she did whatever she says.

Then you say, I'm not allergic to coconut. I never have been. This lie has snowballed and I don't know how to get out of it. But I love you and I'm sorry. We need to move past it. I like mine better. But I will say if you do, Jakes, I would recommend going out to eat at like a Thai restaurant and ordering some coconut stuff. And when she looks puzzled, say, which brings us to today.

So, Jacqueline, on this, you got three options. You've got to keep the lie going. You've got a reverse lie, and that is go to an allergist. Fake allergist. You fake and you go like, unbelievable, my body is now okay with it. Or three, bite the bullet, go face to face, and admit what you have done. What do you think that you're going to do? I'm probably, I need to just tell her.

So you're going to do three. Would you be willing, if we can find her, would you do it on this show? Oh, my God. Yeah, I think she's calling.

Kevin, is she calling in? She's supposed to call in any second. Oh, is that true? I would love the first option, but it's too late. Okay, so hold on, hold on. So you have Sarah calling in? We just keep it going now. You're just like, hey, I just wanted to bring you on the podcast. But hold on. I'm still allergic. What does Sarah know about this? What did you email her? I said, I told a funny story about myself.

to a podcast and now they want to talk to a friend. I am so excited. Wait, hold on. I need more info. So you said, I told a funny story on a podcast and you're involved and what did she say?

I didn't tell her she was involved. I said it was a funny story about myself and that they want to talk to my friend. And what did she, then she said, okay. Yeah. And then Kevin was like, okay. So she knows. Okay. Okay. So she thinks in the waiting room. Okay. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Kevin, have you corresponded with Sarah? No.

Okay, great. So this is Sarah. I don't know. She might want a fake name, though. Okay. How do we intro this? Garrett, I'll start it off with her. I don't know what's going on, but I've never been so happy. So go ahead. I'm going to intro us and get us started a little bit. Okay. Hello. Hi, welcome to the podcast. We're here to help with Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. How's it going? Good. We know you as Sarah. Is that the correct name you want?

Kara with a C. Oh, Kara. Okay, great. Yeah. So Kara, we have your friend Jacqueline on with us.

Hi, Cookie. Whoa. Hi. Hey, Carol, what type of cookie are you calling her? Oh, she's definitely an Oreo. Oh, she is? Okay, great. So Jacqueline called in our show. We are a goofy advice show where we try to help people with, you know, small problems. And she had a small problem. And

It kind of involves you, Kara. Uh-oh. Yeah. So, Jacqueline, the floor is yours, young lady. What's going on? Come on, Cookie. So, let's just see if you remember, first of all, when I first started working, there was, like, you had made chocolate cupcakes for something at work. Okay. And you had coconut on it.

Do you remember that? No. That was like almost 20 years ago. I know. So I've been pretending, I guess, to be allergic to coconut this whole time. Why is that? Because I turned down that first cupcake and then we became friends and I just kept it going. Okay.

That's a liar. It's like 18 years. Tell me you really like pickles too then. No. Oh, no. That's not a lie. So, Kara, what's your take on this? She is not allergic to coconut at all. That has been a lie. She's wanted it off her chest. Now she's done it. Where are we at?

Oh my gosh. I'm going to have to make her like a coconut cake or something and make her eat the whole thing. No, pickle cake. Pickle cake. Punisher, pickle cake. Right, with a pickle on top. What?

Kara, can I ask you a question? Were there a number of times where Coconut came up and you noticed that she rejected Coconut? Or did you know that she was... Yes. So this has been... I didn't know she really wasn't allergic. I was just like, oh, she just can't have that. Oh, whatever. It's okay. Yeah, you still loved her despite the fact that she couldn't have Coconut. Of course. Yeah. But now she's going to get Coconut everything. So just to be clear, when Jacqueline told the story, she said when she first lied...

It was a small lie based off a diet and she was a little embarrassed about it. But then you have become a true best friend and a really valuable person in her life.

She was at my wedding. She wanted to make sure you weren't mad, but she wanted to tell you that enough is enough. Oh my gosh. I can't believe it. All these years. What else have you been lying about? I told Kirk into our marriage was when I finally told Kirk. She lied to Kirk about it. She was around us and

And I was like, oh, no, I can't have that coconut shrimp or whatever, because sometimes I would have like a bite and he would look at me weird and I'd be like, oh, a little bit's OK. Wait, Jacqueline, how long did that go on with your husband where you kept that lie going with him? I think we even had our first kid when it finally came out. Oh.

Are you waiting for the next podcast to tell him? Kirk is in the waiting room, ladies. Over the 20 year period, have you secretly been eating coconuts? You just don't do it around people in your life? Yeah, we were at a bar or something and I ordered like a Malibu and Diet Coke when nobody was around. What? What?

You are, Jacqueline, you are so weird. Jacqueline, you are our kind of person. You are our kind of people. This is an incredible twist. Can I get a Malibu and Coke in the ladies' bathroom, please, sir? Don't tell me. Just hand it off.

keep it on the DL. And I was like, rum and Coke. Like, what are you drinking? Rum and Coke. And I was telling the truth. So Karen, just to be clear from our end, are you good? Is this going to change anything? Or is this another level of your friend being a true weirdo and you love her for it? Where are you at? Oh,

Oh, she's definitely a true weirdo, but it does change everything because now it's going to be all things coconut and pickles on the side. Good. And then, Jacqueline, I think you've got to let Kara win for a while. And when she tells you to eat a pickle, I think you might have to lead in a little bit until she gets this out of her system. I agree. I think that's fair. I think you need to eat pickles in front of her until she goes, we're even. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, if this is a ridiculous judge show, then that's, I guess, the sentence. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Thanks, guys. This was fun. Thank you. We appreciate both you guys. I still love you, Cookie. I love you, big liar. But now it's a coconut cookie.

HelpfulPod at gmail.com.

That was a HeadGum Podcast.