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Plus, they offer financing options, accept eligible insurance, and you can pay with your HSA FSA. Get 80% off your impression kit when you use code WONDERY at Byte.com. That's B-Y-T-E dot com. Start your confidence journey today with Byte. All jokes aside, can we start, even if we don't do it this time, can we start playing the intro to get us into it? I know the other one was a bit, but it did feel nice to hear it.
Oh, yeah. Sometimes it starts, even with the 3-2-1, this starts kind of just go like, hello. Is there a way we could kind of hear it? And then whenever we feel like starting it over it, even if you fade down a little bit, whatever, it works. Yep. But I would love to, if this works. This better not be a fucking way to just play another intro where someone's calling me fat or...
You're listening to We're Here to Help, America's favorite podcast, hosted by Jake Johnson and sweet Ginger Baby, who lives with his mommy. You know, you just, you are a good actor. I know that you sometimes downplay that because
You really lulled me into that one. It's just more BS. It's another trick. It's not the point of the show. Jake, before you speak, it's not to just trick me. I agreed. We're here to help. We're not here to hurt. We're not here to hurt. I don't know how this is helping. I don't know how this is helping. And I didn't live with my mommy. I was staying with her. Don't you suddenly tell me. No, no, no. Can I talk? Dustin Rubin.
Sent us the first one, and then we thanked him, and then he sent it this one. That doesn't mean that what are you? You're not that. That is contextualization. That's not rationalization. It's funny. Sweet ginger baby who lives with his mom.
I mean, first of all, be mummy. But we're not going to get hung up on that because this is not a show about how the intro should not be used to to prank the other host. But I will say we have a great episode. We have a great episode. Beyond what just happened. Of the show.
Lamorne Morris comes back and this is, as your term would say, a banger. It's a banger. This is a banger. We normally have a couple calls and every now and then we don't need them. This is one of those where we don't need it. This is one
One call, one thing. And actually, Jake, since we're having a little bit of a diversion on the intro, yes, Kevin, if we could actually just because we do know that this is going to be a New Girl episode. I'm on New Girl. You're on New Girl. Max Greenfield, who recently joined us. Of course. And Lamar. Zoe, who's been on the show. Hannah, who's coming on. Damon. But if we could just play this. This was a clip we found on TikTok.
I mean, we used to do table reads for New Girl. And I mean, I'll tell the story. Jake will probably get mad at me. But Jake and I. Who's Jake? Jake plays would play Nick on the show. So Jake, I just wanted to point out that that it disrespect doesn't feel great, does it? You're right. And see, that is when Max was on a morning show and he's talking about a New Girl story. And he says, Jake shorthand.
And instead of just rolling with it, as any host should. Who's Jake? Who's Jake? Hey, Dustin, Dustin, don't be inspired by who's Jake. Dustin, be inspired. And that's how Brian feels a lot on this show. So this is our weirdest intro, but let's just, let's just get into the Lamorne call from Gareth, whoever this other guy is, the rest of us. We thank you for sharing. We thank you for everything and enjoy an epic ride.
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The wigs and whatever. Suits and wigs. Wigs and suits party. And then just recently, we had a caller who lied to her boss and told her that she was taking a cooking class for a week, which just sounds insane to begin with, that a cooking class would be a week. Really, she was going off and doing some BDSM stuff.
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Hi there. How are you? Welcome to the podcast. We are going to help you, whether you like it or not. And can we just start by getting your name, real or fake, your age, roughly, and where you're calling from specifically? So I'm Nicole. I'm 29, and I'm from San Diego, but my husband and I are actually on our way to moving to Boise today. So we're kind of nowhere right now. I lived there for a... I had a weird year in Boise.
Uh, that's another podcast. Um, okay, great. Nicole. Weird year in a Boise from Gareth Reynolds. Yeah. Are you? Cause I feel like it's not going to do great. I'm excited about weird year in Boise. As you know, it was pretty weird. All right, Nicole. So what, uh, what can we help you with today?
Yeah, so this weekend on Saturday, my little sister is getting married. And my older sister and I are the maid of honors. And we've been the maid of honors for all of our, you know, weddings, like both of us, you know, both sisters and everything. And we're kind of getting...
little stumped on what we should do for speech because our speeches for each other have been pretty creative but we don't want to do the same thing like for my older sister's wedding my little sister and I did like a song parody and then for my wedding what can we just ask what what parody song you did oh yeah it was a part of your world from the Little Mermaid
Nicole, can we hear a little bit about it? Just a taste. Oh, gosh. We want to see all the people right now. We want to see them on the dance floor. I can't remember the words. Oh, my gosh. All right. That was something. We got a taste of it. We got a sense of it. I'll be honest. I think it's a pretty low bar if I'm being totally fair with you. So I think we can beat this. Okay.
So then for my wedding, you know, they started to play music. They asked the DJ to play music. So I thought they were going to do a song parody. And then they had a record scratch kind of, and they're like, no, we're not going to be doing that because Nicole's the creative one. So I do feel like there is a little bit of pressure. What did they do after the record scratch instead? Oh,
Oh, they just did like a regular, you know, just a speech and, you know, saying how like, you know, interesting stuff about me. I'm not going to lie. They were probably great at the event for Jake and I. I mean, we feel pretty good about being able to beat this.
I kind of agree, Garth. I kind of agree. So just to kind of get where we're at, your sisters did, you guys did a song parody of Little Mermaid. It worked pretty well. Your other sisters for you did a record scratch and then just a traditional speech. Is that correct? Yeah.
Yeah. And so right now we kind of have an idea, like kind of doing like a bit. So like we want to, I don't know if you've watched the office or anything, but there's this one scene at Phyllis's wedding where Michael Scott would intro like four different wedding speeches. And,
And so we were thinking of like kind of bickering, being like, oh, no, this should be the intro of the speech or this should be the intro. Like and then just being like, you know, we're actually just really bad at speeches. So let's bring out like here's a video of someone helping us out. And kind of like the tag piece of it would be trying to find like a celebrity that they like.
So I know that they have Cameo where you can pay an actor to, you know, make a little video. Unfortunately, though, when we're trying to get information from her and her fiance, it's
the characters that they really liked weren't on Cameo. So now we're kind of stumped and we just, we don't know if that like would be like a good bit. Like I was trying to intro stuff like that and then like bringing in someone else to kind of close the speech. But I'm just like,
We're not sure if that's going to land. I like that. I think there's something to that. Who are the characters they like? That's a good question. So they're big fans of New Girl and Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Office. It's so interesting because we have two people who New Girl, Brian and Nick are...
I'm the G-damn call right now. Go ahead, Nick. So the idea that you were thinking, Nicole, was that maybe you would...
set up something where you're trying to do the speech it's not working you're introducing others hopefully you're getting mom and dad and some uncles and aunts to laugh at this bit and then at a certain point you want to go you know what here's the real speech and you would play a video that you would have a cameo of somebody from new girl or brooklyn 99 or the office kind of come on and say what to your sister um just like a congratulations and then like a
piece of like marital advice and it could be yeah so just anything that they would think is you know and then what's funny but also nicole what's your sister's name and the husband her name is natalie natalie and then my uh well my future brother-in-law is his name is jeremy jeremy uh you know what i think we're gonna do nicole
You think we can do this? Yes, we're going to. What do you say we do the video right now for Natalie and Jeremy? And maybe you'll be part of it, too. But we have a real surprise guest that our producer put together on this one.
We would like to add another person to the call. The great Mr. Lamorne Morris. Oh, my God. There we go. Oh, man. You can't see this, but Lamorne is laying on his side in some sort of a cab. What y'all niggas talking about?
So, Lamorne, here's where we're at. We're about to make a wedding speech. Good morning, Jake. First and foremost, I just want to say good morning, everybody. Yeah, good morning. Good morning, man. How y'all sleep? How y'all sleep? Good. Good. Been up for a while, but good. What time is it? It's definitely like wake up time. Close to. Oh, damn. Just a true idiot. Where did you get that for your head? Give me my OVO durag drape. Yeah.
Drake gave me this. Oh, incredible. Are you talking about this Brown Lightning shirt? Yeah. That's available now. Oh, wow. I was talking about these. We're here to help hats that are available now. Okay. Okay. My bad. Who on the phone?
Nicole, will you introduce yourself and say a little something to Lamar Morris? So I'm Nicole and this is awesome. Oh my gosh, I can't believe that you're here because what's really funny is that my brother, my future brother-in-law is also a cop. So very nice. Very nice. Okay, that's something we could kind of chime in. And what does Natalie do for work?
The thing is, so she's like super smart and everything. And I don't really know what her job title is. I think she's like an environmental, like biologist. Like she goes out in the field and tell people which plants and stuff are endangered. But also she takes pictures of islands and dots, birds. Tell me this. What are, what are a few things you like about Natalie and Jeremy? What does the family like about this pairing?
Um, well, we really like, I mean, I don't know, they seem very well, like, linked together, like they make sense. They both are serious, but also kind of match each other's silliness level in a way. And well, so their wedding is also going to be in a church. So they both like met where they met was at like FCA meeting. What did they meet at?
the Christian fellow Christian athletes meeting in college. So did you just give us an acronym and think that these three individuals would know what that meant? But then also she didn't know it. Yeah. That she's like, you know, it's like a draft. Okay. So they're both athletes. They, uh, like that they're kind of serious and they're a little bit silly. He's a cop. Yes.
Like a detective or he wear a uniform? Does he get to like do the gang unit? Cause I'll take this do-rag off right now. He wears a uniform. I know he has a police dog that he just got. A police dog? Yes. Axel. Axel, of course. All cop dogs are named Axel since the 80s. Well, what's funny is his favorite movie is Rush Hour. And I guess he tried to rename the dog Carter.
And they're like, you can't do that. You need a shower with Jackie Chan? Yes. Hey, Kevin, bring him on. You're not going to believe this. Jackie Chan, come on on. He's in the bathtub. Yeah, his reception shit. He's in the bathtub. He just texted us. We're going to go with just us. Sorry. Okay, so...
I will say this now to Lamorne and Gareth. Do do we feel like we need more or are we ready? Because we're going to send them this video and hopefully they're going to play it at their wedding. And I will say it's a big deal, guys. It's their wedding. It's the closer to. So this is like you're going to have given your speech and then you're going to bring us in for the closer, basically. Right, Nicole?
One hundred percent. OK, so do you need more info? What she said before you got on Lamorne was, you know, just congratulate them. Then a little bit of advice we could go around and give about marriage. Is there anything we need besides them or shall we?
Give me a key. Give me a key. I might break into song. I don't know if I'm going to, but if I get a key from her, that symbolizes your family. That's as weird of a question as you could have asked. It's a great question. A above middle C. I mean, how you want to do it? Nicole, do you have a range for Lamar? I don't. Okay. What I like about that question is they've done music, but this is a nice meeting of
Little Mermaid. You got to sing, Lamorne, a little bit of that song parody so he knows that. He knows the Little Mermaid. I know. How
Okay, so I do remember a little bit of it. So what we were singing, part of it, we want to be on the dance floor right now. We want to see everyone dancing, dancing along to that. What's that song again? Oh, yeah, Electric Flies. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Listen, I again, I like our chance. This is a good closer. So you feel you guys feel good. Should we just how do you Jake just rehearsal? Do you want to? I think we got to just shoot live. We're doing it live. All right. Don't you think? O'Reilly it. Let's O'Reilly it. Don't you think? Yeah, let's go. OK, so then on this video to start, Nicole, how are you going to intro it?
So literally, so after we're done, like my older sister and I are done bickering, we're going to be like, you know what? We're just really bad at speeches. So we brought in some people to help us with this speech. Okay. And Nicole, just so I know what I'm working with, people probably aren't going to freak out when they see me, right? It's probably just so...
Security guard, Brian. All right. That's all I need to Jake. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, Gareth, don't forget who you are. My King. Right. I directed you. I know what you're capable of. Talk about a pep talk. I will say Lamorne you're getting, and I've known you for a lot of years right now. You're getting dangerously close to your Denzel impression. What do you, I have no idea what you're talking about.
It started early with your okay, okay, and it might be the do-rag. It might be, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is chess, not checkers. You understand what I'm telling you? Once I saw that on your head, I was like, I know how this is going to start. We're going to say, Natalie and Jeremy, congrats, and I'm going to hear, okay, okay, okay, okay.
All right. So we got a, we got us. We're going to see what we can do. Natalie and Jeremy. Natalie and Jeremy from your sister, Nicole. And what's the other sister's name? Nancy. Nancy.
Don't think we didn't pick up on what's going on here with these names. They're all girl names. They're all names of ladies. Thank you very much. What's really sad, Gareth, is when you said, don't say we haven't picked this up. I had to look at my notes because I had not picked it up.
It was a crossword puzzle that got on top of me. I was like, Nicole, Nancy, beautiful mind, beautiful Natalie. Yeah, right. We're at your mind palace. Lauren said all girls' names, and I was like, all girls' names. Gotcha. Gotcha. Yes. Victory. All right, let's do this. Three, two, one. Congratulations. Way to go. Pew, pew, pew, pew, pew, pew.
We are fired up for Natalie and Jeremy. How about a round of applause from everybody here? Everybody here. Natalie, who digs in the soil and takes pictures of islands. And Jeremy, the cop, who's got a dog named Axel. You took all the info, you little snake. We just want to say that your sister, Nicole...
asked us to come on and say a little something because for her wedding, when you guys did the record scratch and then just talk, she just didn't think it was enough. Am I right or wrong, Lamar? Absolutely right. You know, she tried some things. She wanted some things to run past us. One of her ideas was she was going to run in and say, what up my N words like Natalie, Nicole, Nancy. But she was like, guys, is that a good idea? I asked my do-rag and it said, nah.
So I want to apologize to Natalie and Jeremy and the entire family. We want to say congratulations. Yes. Three stars of New Girl. We know you're a fan of our show. That's right. And all three of us here probably starstruck.
Everybody's a little starstruck. And then last, we want to go around and we want to each offer one piece of advice to the newlyweds,
the couple that everybody in the family is excited about. Jeremy, this side of the family likes you a lot. Nicole made that very clear. So Garfman, you want to start? How about some marital advice to the new couple on day one of their married life? Listen, I'm in my 40s and I have a cat. That's the level of commitment I have, so I can't offer up much. But in my relationships, I
I've noticed that saying you're sorry when you don't mean it seems to go a long way. So don't be afraid to just toss out a sorry every now and then. Just seems to work again. Litter is my main issue. Mr. Lamorne Morris, anything. Now, I've been married, I want to say, 10 times, all successful marriages. And the one thing that I learned that you got to do to keep that thing spicy in the bedroom is don't brush your teeth.
So if you don't brush your teeth, you know what a real love is. If they're willing to go mouth to mouth with you with them dirty ass teeth, then you know you got yourself a winner. You'll stay together forever. And last, I would like to say the old saying is don't go to bed angry. I think that's incorrect. I think it is okay to go to bed angry sometimes. Don't take it out on each other. So if you need to, Jeremy, sleep on the couch for a couple of nights.
But it's all right. Go to bed early. Start over fresh in the morning when the tequila has gone down and you've sobered up. You don't have to resolve everything right away. Or sleep at a hotel. Or sleep in a hotel. And before we go, we've got a special guest. If everybody could close their eyes for a moment. Mr. Denzel Washington, do you mind taking us out with a couple of lines before we let these people enjoy their lives together?
Ha ha ha. Natalie and Jeremy. It's important that you listen to these following words. OK, you must. And I repeat, you must stay together no matter the weather, no matter the color of the sweater, because sometimes you might not like what he's putting on. OK, he goes outside and he embarrasses you, but you, too.
You too can be an embarrassment. So stay in embarrassment with each other. Huh? No matter the summer. Even if the temperature is above 101. Ha ha! You must find the fun. Find the sun. I repeat, find the sun. You have to. I love you. We all love you guys. Have a great life together. Under the sea.
How was that? They're not going to last. I wasn't sure if it was still recording or not. No, that was great. Thank you so much. All right, let's record one and get it. Nicole, do you think you're going to play that at the wedding? You can be honest.
I'll have to run it by my older sister, Nancy. We gotta, we gotta agree on it. What do you feel? What do you feel? How do you think it's going to go over with your group?
That's a good question. Can I be honest? Your ambivalence is troubling. I got to tell you, we've all been in the business for a while, and when you're not getting picked up to series or you're not getting a green light, it's tough. I did not think the wedding was going to pass on our pilot. Well, we're getting to the bottom of it, Nicole. So what are you feeling? Beep out the swear words. What are you feeling? This is a church group, right? They're athletes.
Yes, they're getting married in a church and we do have older family members that are going to be at the wedding. Okay.
How about this? Let's try a second option. We are here to help, guys. I'm going to tell you this. I missed the church part. Gareth Lamorne, remember the premise of this show. We are on Nicole's team, right? I know. It's true. It's just think about when we were all doing New Girl. I don't think we got this many notes on set. You weren't there a lot. You weren't there a lot. We did. I was on set. I've been on set of New Girl being paid, so I don't know what...
Here we go. We're going to try again. The whole thing, the goal of this is we're going to do it in 30 seconds. All right. Okay. Okay. This is hard. No wonder I'm not a cameo. This is brutal. In three, two, one. Hey, congratulations to Natalie and Jeremy. Wow. You guys really did it. It happened. If you're seeing this, you did say I do. So it's official. We're very excited for you. Lamorne, what do you think?
You know, I think it's a very special occasion. It's a holy union. I want to give some advice, if that's possible. Please. You know, because I've been married so many times, still am. Yes, sir. Well, married to the game, baby. But, you know, if I were you guys, I would sleep as much as possible. Because when you sleep, you have that right mind for your partner. Okay? You stay sharp. You stay solid. You stay in love forever. Yes.
So we just want to say to Natalie and Jeremy, we are excited for you. Congratulations, Garf. I know you got a little advice. Shoot it. Well, I just wanted to point out I was also on New Girl, but I don't want to make it about me. I'm a 40-year-old man, 43-year-old man with a cat. That's my longest relationship. God bless. This is going to go great. And last before we leave, Denzel, you got anything? Ha, ha, ha.
The game of marriage is chess, not checkers. You understand what I'm telling you? It's chess, not checkers. Make your next move your best move. You understand what I'm telling you? Congratulations, you guys. We're really happy for you. What the fuck, Nicole? That was pretty good. Come on. Nicole, what do you think of that one? That one is good.
Do this voice thing where it gets higher. I'm in bed, Nicole. We're not buying it. Nicole, in our heads, when we heard what was about to happen, we were like, man, Nicole's going to be so thankful. I feel like. I am thankful. Is it good? Where are you at, Nicole? Yes, it's good. No, no. Here's what I need. Now, Nicole, here's what we need. We need notes. What would you like this fucking speech to be? God damn it.
Gareth and Lamar know me. I'm rule book. I'm going to keep going until we got the rules of this. We haven't figured if this is an escape room, guys, we're fucking stuck. If this was New Girl, I would walk off set, which I had a reputation of doing when things got rough like this.
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Keep the carbs out of summer without compromising flavor with Hero Bread. Get 10% off your order at hero.co and use code HELP at checkout. That's HELP at H-E-R-O dot C-O. Nicole, what's the answer to this riddle here? What would you like the speech to be? Let's try that. I liked a lot of aspects of both speeches. Okay. Talk to us. Talk to us. So if we did a third, what would you want?
I don't know. It all was really good. It's just, just remember that it's going to be at a church, at a church with elderly. Well, not elderly, but give me this, give me this, give me this.
Walk us through what you would like for the gamemanship of it all. We start off with an intro, right? Hellos, hellos. This is... Let's just do it. This is why we're here, right? What I really liked about the first one was just the hype that you had at the beginning. So you like the hype. Up top hype. Yeah. Okay. I feel like I'm making an order at a restaurant. Okay. Up top hype. Okay. And then we transition into...
Yeah, the advice, you know, advice that you would be okay saying in a church. Church advice, church advice. Okay. And then in closing, just a... Closing prayer? No, thanks. Pastor Washington? You don't have to. Okay, so we got an intro, we got some hype, we got some advice, and then we've got a well wishes. Would you be happy with that? Yeah.
100%. And in terms of length, where are you thinking? Oh, whatever you're comfortable with. Nicole, you're the boss, baby. You ain't bossy. You're the boss. Okay. I feel like I'm already asking a lot. Stop it. So do I. Jake is the only one. I'm not someone...
I'm not someone who asks a lot. I'm tired. This is your time to ask a lot. This is your time to ask a lot. That's why we're here. God damn it. We're here to help. We're doing this ridiculous thing. Get your god damn it's out now, Jake. Here's what's going to happen, god damn it. If we gave her A or B, she's going to go, I was on a fun podcast. I want this fucking thing playing at the wedding. Get your cussing out, you little sinner. She's giving me fucking notes up and down. She's fucking pissing me off. She's pissing
There you go. All right. And we're back. All right. Nicole, I feel good about that. I'm glad you got that out. In three, two, one. USA. Cut. LeBron. Those are the angels. We're in church, motherfucker. We're trying again. That was a fail. Four. All right. In three, in two, in one. Hey, hey.
Natalie and Jeremy, congratulations on getting married. Nuptials. What a win for you two. And this is brought to you by your sister, Nicole, who wants you guys to have a really weird moment at your wedding. And we're going to help provide it. Exactly. We want you guys to think about all the love making that's going to happen. Fruitful. Fruitful.
And multiply. Send the Bible. Send the Bible. For probation. For probation. The Bible. We can see this. No, we're starting over. In three. In two. In one. Oh. Natalie and Jeremy got married. Hallelujah. Cut. Cut.
What? We're not going hallelujah. Too thick? In three. It's not a black church? No. Natalie and Jeremy's a white church. In three. In two. In one. Hey, hey! Woo!
Natalie and Jeremy, congratulations, guys. Your sister, Nicole, asked us to be part of this speech, and we are honored to be here. Are we not, gentlemen? Oh, completely. Yeah, it's great. What a lovely service. We all go to church and love church, so what a great service. Shut up! Exactly. Shout out to Reverend Jones in the back. You get that replacement hip yet? You old snake, you.
And cut. Let's try one last one, guys. Nice and clean. Lean and mean. This is good. Lean and mean. This is the money one. Let's pretend it's on film. This one matters. In three, in two. Yeah! Yeah!
Natalie and Jeremy, you did it. You're married. We are happy for you. Very happy. Three stars of New Girl, Jake Johnson, Lamorne Morris, Brian from the show, Gareth Reynolds. We're so happy for you. Yeah. Against all odds, you survived. Nobody thought you were going to get married. Everybody had doubt in you. Nobody had doubt in you. Doesn't matter.
Your sister, Nicole, asked us to do this. She said, you guys have a lot of fun with your speeches. And we just want to say from the bottom of our hearts that we hope you guys really stick it out. Don't go to bed angry. Always be nice to each other. Always try to listen. Gentlemen, any advice for this lovely couple?
I actually have never been in a committed relationship. I have a cat, so always clean the litter. But what Jake said sounds really good. Really happy for you. Lamorne, what you got? Always staring to each other's eyes so you could read the tea leaves. You understand what I'm telling you? You know when your partner is up to something. And guys, we just want to say in closing to everybody there.
Thank you guys for having a wonderful night. And please, everybody give a big hug to Natalie and Jeremy. Congratulations, guys. And don't forget Axel. And Axel. Nicole, where are we at? Did Lamar say that everyone had doubts about them?
That's a blooper. There's bloopers. Listen, okay. This is... I mean, honestly, we have lives outside of this speech. My kid is in the car right now. In three. Jake looks like he's an accountant on April 14th right now. In three.
two, one. Hey, hey, Natalie and Jeremy. Wow. A wedding. You did it. We're so proud of you. Congratulations, guys. We're really happy for you. Your sweet sister, Nicole, asked us to do this. Hi, Nancy. How you doing? And we just want to say we wish you guys all the best from your friends at New Girl. And any advice, gentlemen?
Well, I just we heard about the event and we said we'll just do one quick take of a speech just to get it out there and give it to you and wish you the best. So we really do wish you the best. Lamar, you got anything? Yeah. Shout out to Deacon Jones in the back. You got to call me. You got to call me. You owe me something.
I'll take payment soon. Venmo works. Listen, don't think because you had a wedding that I wasn't going to run up on you. I love you, and I know there's a wedding, but I need my stuff. Deacon.
Oh, man. We're so happy for all of you. And obviously, Deacon Jones is totally invented. That's not real at all. We're just having some fun. And fun is what life and marriage is all about. This is going to go great. Jake, don't look so stressed. You should be happy. We're at the finish line. Oh, God bless. USA! USA! We helped. What are you talking about? Nicole, I think the goal of that speech was to make you miss the one before it.
Nicole, do we have any wins here? Yes, there are some wins there. Now, I got to ask, honestly, is there any world you're playing this at that church wedding?
Okay. Let's do one more. Kevin, can you mute Lamorne? No, just I'll keep it clean. I'll keep it. Listen, I will keep it. Watch this. Watch this. So Lamorne, you start our intro. Let's see if that changes it. Okay. In three, two, one.
This is hip hop church. Jesus Christ. I'm stuck. Y'all are messing this up for her. Y'all are messing this up for her. Are you talking to you? You're wearing a do-rag and you're laying it down. You are not a real person. How Deacon Jones is going to get run up on. You are just not a serious person.
I got it. You just got to let me be me. In three, in two, go. Congratulations, Jeremy and Natalie. It's your wedding day. Everybody in the building is excited, excited to see you. They come from all over the world. I don't think it's going to work with Lamorne, guys. From miles and miles and miles. It's a guy laying in bed.
with a do-rag on talking nonsense in some rhythmic way. I don't think it's, hey, yo, it's not going to work. I don't think it's going to work. Older people in church like to relate to the younger folks. So you got to bridge that gap. All right, let's start again. Gareth, can you try intro? Yeah, all right, let's try intro. All right, ready? Three, two, one.
Natalie and Jeremy, you did it. You got married and we want to help you celebrate stars of the hit show. New girl, Gareth Reynolds, Brian, the security guard, Jake Johnson, Lamorne Morris. And we're all here because we know you want to see something big. We got to outdo the previous speeches. And I think we are Gareth. And I think we are now.
Mind you, the Little Mermaid song was great, but I think we're winning this one, don't you? I agree. Jake, why don't you give them a little bit of advice you've learned? You're a married guy. Well, here's what I'm going to say to you, Jeremy. You got to find your way into the family just the way you have found your way into your bond with Axel at work. So I want you to start looking at your father-in-law as Axel and bond.
with that man. You're part of the team now. You're part of the family. And I'll say this. Nicole has a lot of great things to say about you, too. She says that you guys are equally serious, but equally silly. And she loves the match. I think the whole family does. Yep. And you can see Jake's been a little emotional from even hearing about these nuptials. Lamorne, now, why don't you close out this speech with some great, great advice that would play great right now?
All right. Thank you guys so much. We really appreciate Natalie and Jeremy. You guys have a wonderful wedding. Thank you guys. I knew he was going fucking south. We got it. So hold on. No, Nicole, what'd you think of that?
That one was great. Okay! I'm sorry, but I didn't mention that my dad passed a few years ago. Oh, okay. Is there a way that that piece could just get cut out and everything else is perfect? Yes. Kevin, yes. Can you lift the dad stuff? Yep. Thank God. Yep, I got it. You 100% can?
I should have said something. No, please. Listen, we didn't. After all that, you revealed that your dad passed away. Amazing that after all that, we talked about your father who's passed away, and you're like, but this is the best one. Hey, Nicole. Wow. Thank you for the call. Nicole Venmo us. You owe us $1,000 each. And Lamar, thank you for coming back. Thank you so much. I will play that last one.
That last one was great. You really will? Yeah. Maybe if there's, Phil, if you get any footage of it. As long as the dad piece is out. Kevin can cut that out. Send us a video of this speech playing because we would love to know how it goes. I think that's right. That feels like a fair trade. Will you make sure somebody, if not you, films it and sends it to Kevin? 100%. Thank you. Can you also, can you make sure that everyone at the wedding, uh,
that the link is in my bio if they want a fabulous Brown Lightning t-shirt. Yeah, make sure to spread the word at the wedding about the Brown Lightning merch.
Thanks, guys. And I'm also going to tell you, Nicole, you got a sense of what it was like to work with Lamorne for seven years. We would be trying to go home, wouldn't we, Lamorne? And I would go like this, please, my man, just say it. Just say the line, my man, please. I'll say it the way that I want to. Workshop of ideas. Guys, we got to get off this call. Nicole, thank you very much. Thank you, Nicole. Thank you so much. God bless. God bless.
We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh, and you can check out all of his work at OliverRaleigh.com. The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. And if you would like to be on our show, please email us at HelpfulPod at gmail.com.
That was a HeadGum Podcast.