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Hey!
And we're back! Hey! What a cute haircut. Oh, thanks. I just found out, as a man in Australia, you're in Wednesday and I'm in Tuesday. Yeah. And that's cool. Wild stuff is coming your way, buddy. Really? Is Wednesday cool? Oh, yeah. I can't tell you because of the time continuum, but buckle up, dude. You have a huge Tuesday. I'm in Tuesday. You mean Wednesday or Tuesday night.
Yeah, into Wednesday morning. You have an amazing, just buckle up. Hi, Jake, all I'll say, drink a lot of water. Drink a lot of water. I'll do it right now. Yeah. So, Gareth, you are in Australia. Yes. This is going to drop on Thursday. Where can they see you on Friday? In Canberra and Brisbane. And then you can see me in Sydney next week. Before we get into the pitch of today's episode, which is a little bit complicated.
Yes. There was something that you had said in an earlier episode.
Very attracted to your mother. I've not ever met her in person or done a podcast with her, but obviously your mother is gorgeous and I'm into her as well, just so you know. I can hook that up and I will call you dad. Well, this is not happening anymore. And so without further ado, daddy, I'd like to introduce you to my mother, a woman that you are attracted to and creeping out on. Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Eve Johnson, please join the pod. Hello.
Hello, can you hear me? Hi, Eve. How are you? I'm good, and I will say this. Jake starts this shit all the time. I agree. He's a terrible son, and I speak as his dad. Since he's been nine years old. Yeah. Nine years old. Mom, this isn't going the direction we were hoping. He's a real... Hold on, Jake. We're talking now. Let's just get into you. He is a real shitster. Does he get that from you, Eve, or is...
No, no, no, no. He gets that. He was born with that. That was his gift. But mom, how do you feel about Gareth saying that he's sexually attracted to you? Well, you know, as soon as I saw that little clip, I knew what you have done in the past. What have I done in the past? I agree, Eve. You hit on his mother.
You have. Eve, can I just say it's so nice to talk to someone in Jake's family who has empathy and understanding because really, while you have a lovely voice and I have seen you and you are a very attractive woman, I would never take it there unless Jake hadn't sort of, again, stirred the shit, as you said. As soon as I said, why am I on this? And as soon as you said that, I said,
He has constantly talked about this man's mother.
Well, yeah. Well, there's truth. Well, that's different, Mom, because Pam and I have a relationship. We've met. We've socialized. And now, Jake, what you're doing is you're taking it in that direction again. And we're all sort of saying that that's kind of the genesis of this whole thing. So, Mom, can I interrupt for a second? Sure, Jake. As the woman whose first home was your body, I thank you for being here.
What a wild way to put that. I don't know if anyone's ever put it like that. Well, he's put it in other terms that you don't want to hear. You don't want to hear. Well, I lived inside of that woman for months. Okay, bud. All right. I lived, my fuel came from her bosom. Yes, yes, it did. I'm not, okay. And I love her for it and I appreciate it. And the thing is that every mother now he's in love with. Yeah. Your mother, Kevin,
Kevin's mother. Okay, let's move it on, Mom. You're getting a little bit too real, Mom. I got a mom thing. He's such a filthy angler that he'll do anything to get a leg up. And I love Jake, but it is definitely a tell. Did you just say I'll do everything to get a leg up in terms of your mother? Hey, Gareth, not when my mom's on this. Jake, Jake, Jake. I will not do anything to get a leg up on your mom. By the way, I think a little less fuel in his childhood would have probably long-term behooved everybody. It would have helped him.
Garrett, will you please pitch to my mom the missing call? So we have a fun episode. It's based off episode eight, which was the woman who was going to her high school reunion. She asked for us to tell her a lie that she could tell at the reunion.
So if you have not heard episode eight, we recommend listening to that first. And then we've got the two follow ups. But Garfman, will you tell my mom what happened on that first call a little bit? It's just, again, an honor to talk to Eve publicly or privately. But essentially what this call is. Yeah, I mean, you set it up pretty well there, Jake. We we talked to Kelly, who had a reunion to go to, wasn't really excited about it.
So we decided that we could spike the punch a little bit in the pitch of what she would do. So we sort of came up with this wild idea that since she was an artist, that she goes to her high school reunion with this story about going to Madonna's.
and having a wild time where people were drinking strange punch. There was a bit of a... They turned pretty sexual pretty quickly. There were Burger King fries. Yep, yep. As...
And then so we planned it. And then in this episode, we get to hear what happened after. Because she went to a reunion with that. So, Mom, just for a second here, sweet mommy. And you can call me baby. Well, what my mother and I do is I call her mommy and she calls me sweet baby. No, none of this is true, Garth. None of this is true. Yeah.
Mommy. Just so many lies. Lies, lies, bigot lies, lies upon lies. Hey, Dad, will you stop getting on me? I'm just talking to Mom. I can't stay with you.
Hey, Mom, can you say without further ado, enjoy the show? Enjoy the show. Have a good time. Do not believe anything Jake says about growing up. Wonderful at taking direction. You and I have that in common. Well, that's great. Don't stick to the script either. Any director I've ever worked with goes, now we know where that fucking guy gets it. She did not even listen to the direction. Mom.
Mom, would you say without further ado? Sure. You know what? Have fun. My kid's a liar. I love potato chips. Fuck off. There you go. One take. One and done. Goodbye. Love you, Mom. Thank you, Eve. Have a good show. Goodbye, guys. Thank you. Bless you.
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Code Gil sent me. Kelly, what a photo you've got. You with a disco ball and a neon sign that says Kel Yes. That's me. Kel Yes it is. Kel Yes. All right. Well, thank you for calling us back. Is it Kevin? Are we just with Kelly or is anybody else on? Ashley is with us. And then Kelly's husband is with her on their Zoom. And then Kelly, what's your husband's name?
Sean. Sean, are you on too, bud? I sure am. Okay, great. Hi there. Just to recap to the audience where we're at on this one. Kelly, you called in because you're going to your high school reunion and you didn't just want to have a boring experience. You wanted to spice it up, right?
That's right. And so we came up with a lie that you could maybe tell people that would be the talk of the reunion if everybody believed it. Spike the punch.
Spike the punch, if you will. And then you got into it, said you wanted to do it. And we advised or maybe you suggested, I can't remember, but we needed your friends and your inner circle to be in on it, too, if it was really going to sell. Correct? Yeah.
That is correct. So what have you told Sean and Ashley and guys, welcome to the podcast. And where are you guys all at with it? We get a breakdown of where you guys are at with us. Yes. So I have told them basically what you just said, that we've kind of come up with this kind of crazy story that I have sold art to Madonna and went to her house and so on. And...
Yeah, ask them if they would go along with it. Yeah, my mom reached out because of her prep work on Instagram with some cryptic messages. My mom reached out and was like, where was Kelly flying to? Oh, wait, hold on, Sean. Sean, you jumped ahead. Kelly, you did Instagram work? Kelly, what?
See, I was hoping I wouldn't. I'm hoping I haven't gone too far. No, never, never. Okay, okay, good. Okay, so we need to slow down and catch up a little bit. What have you done since we've last talked to you? You utter maniac in the best of ways.
You're on fucking Instagram. You're a fake. Why? If Jake is telling you you're a maniac, things are wild. Kelly, by the way, you are a favorite. So what have you done on Instagram? Okay. So I basically just vague posted. I took a picture of a previous flight. You know, I'm the person taking pictures off the window if I have the opportunity.
And so I shared a picture of clouds and it just said, it said something like obligatory cloud post, chase your dreams. I can't believe this is happening. Oh my God. Kelly. Yes. Yeah.
I'm so proud that you're on board with this. Oh, not only am I on board, that's perfect. We're so on board, we're taking pictures out of the window. Okay. So, you said, I can't believe this is happening. Right. Wow. And then it was chase your dreams? Chase your dreams, which is just good general advice. Agreed. Sure, sure.
How can you wrap your head around going to Madonna's house and partying? That's incredible. And all you can kind of say to yourself on that plane is, girl, chase those dreams. That's right. Okay, great. So was that one post? Yeah.
It was one post. I did make another one previously inspired by Kevin's French fry story about the perfect fries. Okay. What was that? Just because, so like, as you can see from my picture, like I'm into, like, that's part of what I do is I put disco tiles on like everything that stands still long enough.
So I made like a box of fries and disco French fries. And I just kind of said, like, you know, I'm so excited to be. I can't say who this is for, but I'm really excited to be working for them. This is. Oh, my God. It is. Just let us just say.
How proud we are that we just thought this was going to take place at one event. You are what they call foaming the runway. Also, Gareth, can I say one other thing? Mm-hmm.
Sean, be careful, my man. You married a wildcat. You know, this just seemed normal. But now seeing y'all's reaction, you're questioning my reality. This is big. So when Kelly told you this plan, what were your first thoughts?
Honestly, my first thoughts were, that's hilarious. I'm glad that she had a great time, you know, talking to you guys on the pod and getting advice. But I kind of figured it was going to fizzle out. Yeah, for sure. She's committed to it. I'm ready to rock and roll this thing. So as her kind of partner in this, you're on board 100%. Yeah, whatever she needs. Okay. I love it. I'm ready to lie to some strangers, you know. Sean, we like you. Ashley.
Yes. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you. When your friend Kelly told you her game plan, what were your thoughts? I was like, hell yes. I think this is hilarious. It's going to make the reunion so much less more boring. I'm all for it. So then Ashley, will you pretend you're in a group of people and somebody says to you, did you hear about what Kelly was doing?
Yeah, I'm going to be like, it was crazy. And then pretend they say to you and pretend you're at the party for a second. And they say, what do you know about? I heard something about Madonna. Is that even true? What did she do?
Can you describe what Kelly's life is and what happened at the party as one of her good friends from your point of view without her around? Well, I told Kelly, I said, we can make this believable because she's went to Vegas like multiple times last year. Because no one's going to believe that you met a celebrity in Kentucky, obviously. But yeah, I'm just going to be like, yeah, I've heard some really crazy stories. She went to a party, seen some crazy stuff. I'll just revert them back to Kelly. Like, yo, I've talked to her.
I don't even want to talk about it. No, no, no, no. But Ashley, what have you heard? Oh, so I got to make something up. No, you don't have to make it up. Okay, good. So you don't have details yet, correct? No, we haven't really discussed details. Wonderful. Sean, if you're separated from your wife the way these things happen, Adam, and somebody goes,
Hey, man, brother to brother, just two guys sitting by the fruit punch bowl. What happened here? Is she full of shit? And you go, no. And then he goes, what happened? What would you tell? Do you have details?
Oh, I can't give you too many details. There's an NDA in place. No, see, here's what's happening, guys. This story is becoming Swiss cheese because there's not an NDA in place. Oh, okay. Okay, so good. I'm glad you guys called. Kelly, will you please tell Ashley and Sean...
What happened at your party? I will. Basically, she had to cancel her tour, right? And she just sold her home at 24220 Long Valley Road in Hidden Hills, California. How did you find all this? Through my Google search history. Incredible. Okay. Okay.
I feel like we handed Michael Jordan a basketball. All we did was we were just like, hey, dribble this. And it's like, sorry, what's going on right now? So she wants to have one last party there. So then we're all just kind of hanging out. There are a few of her neighbors outside.
are also there. Rod Stewart showed up. He just got back from a trip to Spain. Lionel Richie, he's bringing the Burger King. He's got more French fries than I've ever seen in one place so that she can have her perfect fries. And so, yeah, we're just kind of hanging out and I'm just like in awe of everything going on around me. And yeah,
I have some of this punch, you know, that was just kind of out. I really didn't think twice about it. And somebody like kind of gave me a look and they were like, oh, are you sure you want? I was like, yeah, of course, this punch is fine. So anyway, things started to get a little weird not long after that.
I noticed that like, you know, clothes were missing from people. Like people are starting to get a little, a little loose. Things are starting to happen. People are kind of breaking off. So anyway, next thing I know, next thing I know there's, do you remember downtown Julie Brown? Yes.
Yeah. So she wasn't there, but her sister Sharon was. And so Sharon Brown and Rod Stewart are now naked. And he just keeps like screaming at her something like, you don't know what football is. You know, I don't know what they were talking about, but. Okay. So Julie, Julie Brown, sister Shannon and Rod Stewart are having sex. And then what happens?
I do remember that as I was leaving, Lionel Richie kept trying to hand me a bottle of his new cologne, which is actually called Easy Like Sunday Morning. I didn't make that part up. No, no.
That's a real thing. That's amazing. Your research is incredible. Yeah, keep going. This is all very good, by the way. Yeah, like we took the 101, got on the 405, and then we hopped onto our plane at LAX to head home. It was, I didn't even get to rest, you guys. Sean, I think if it comes to it, you should not like Lionel Richie. Yeah.
You should feel like Lionel Richie maybe was pushing things a little much, kind of gives you the creeps from what you've heard. And Ashley, maybe your angle is that you love Kelly, but this side of Kelly seems a little Hollywood to you. That can be maybe why you're not super into the details. You know the story, but you just kind of like to stay a little separated from it.
Does that seem real, Ashley? Could you sell that? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I think I could. While Kelly was talking, I was writing down notes because I feel like that was a lot to remember. But Ashley, you're also allowed to say like, of course, my girl told me all this. Honestly, that whole side of her life is too crazy for me.
So I don't even know something about a Madonna party and Lyle Richie. Mystery punch. Mystery, who the hell knows? And you could even do that like sideways gossip where you go like, I just know I wouldn't be drinking mystery punch at some party, but I'm not Kelby. Yeah, right. So then you go to the party and are we assuming there's like 250 to 500 type people? Let's make it big.
So it's not weird that you were invited. It was a big party. Okay. What do you think of that? I think that works. And that kind of makes sense that there would be so many different, just weird, random people there. Exactly right.
And so for in your head, the imagery there was like valet parking. There was caterers. It was like a big band. It felt like a Grammy's party. It's like a wedding. Yeah, it's big. It's big. Everybody's around. Madonna's there. You talk to her briefly, but it's more just kind of randomness. And you kind of knew the punch of,
Something was up. I don't think I would do it if I were you, like it was totally random. I would almost lean into the idea that you knew this was like the magic punch, if you will. Okay. Right? So there's no bad guys. It's not like you got drugged, which everyone has to be worried about. Right. It's more...
Kel, yes. You were there to party. Kelly, party. So we don't want you to be a victim of this party. We want you to be a party girl who had a great experience. Okay. So maybe there's like an upstairs, downstairs element. The upstairs party was crazier. The downstairs was tamer. And you went upstairs and there was like, everybody was smoking weed. Everybody was like a different party.
And up there in some of those rooms is where like the orgy was and it got too crazy for you. It sure did. How does that all kind of sound as like a place for you? It sounds very doable. It makes sense to me. I think I can, you know, remember that and, and work with that. Yeah. So how, how are you feeling about where we're at in this story?
I'm feeling good. Sean, how you feel? I feel, I feel good too. My, if, if, if we're trying to poke holes, my initial, we are, my initial question is how, how did you and Madonna get, get together? How did she start getting your art? Like, where did that great question, Kelly, do you have Instagram?
I do. Do you post stuff, your art on your Instagram? I do. Then you could say somebody reached out one of Madonna's assistants and you sold a piece to them. Okay. It could even get a little crazier than that. One of our Vegas talk to me. She took playing cards and put art on them and
And then had a code on it that if you scanned it, went to her store for her art. And then we walked all over Vegas putting these playing cards with her art and the code on it all over the place. So wonderful. Why don't we start it that David Copperfield got one of those and in his magic shows was using Kelly's cards. Oh, my God.
And it was like a part of like her cards were part of like a Vegas thing. But she never socialized with Copperfield. Why? Because he's a fucking weirdo.
When he sends emails, it's all lowercase. He doesn't use punctuation and he legit makes up words. And he ends every email with, ta-da, David Copperfield. So Copperfield, the cards, led to somebody from Madonna's team reaching out. And then you didn't know any of this. And the next thing you know, Madonna bought like four pieces at once. And that's what started it.
And don't be afraid to pimp her into the story. If she's standing somewhere talking to somebody and you could tell she's bored, go, is she telling you about the Madonna thing? And Kelly goes like, stop and go. If I were you, I would ask from the outside. I'm feeling pretty good on this. Gareth, you feeling anything?
Feeling real good. I feel like we've got good players and I feel very confident in Kelly. And that really is the main tent pole in all of this. She's the North star. So I think, yeah, I think, you know,
When in doubt, don't be afraid to say, I don't even remember what happened. Kelly's got it in her head. Kelly's been the one posting. This is something that actually happened to Kelly. Yes. So, you know, I think, but I think you're all there. Very great side players in this story. And group, good luck.
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Hello. Kelly, you're back on the podcast. You did the reunion. This is our final update. Let us know how it went. What a ride. What a ride. You've been on. We've been on.
How did it go? I think it went well. I was able to tell a few people this crazy story. Okay. I was able to record some of that. We got one of the videos. Kevin will play the audio when we're airing this one. He'll play it right here.
It was just 500, right? She, like, flew you out, right? Yeah, she flew me out. I'm like, you're fucking Madonna. Like, I can't get... You know what I'm saying? Like, yeah, she's got all the money. Yeah. Well, I had to the last night because I didn't have a room because I was just supposed to stay Monday, Tuesday night. But then the party was Wednesday. So, I mean, I didn't sleep. Like, that's the other thing. Like, people were fucking... Like, it was like L.A. weird. Like, it was not like...
No. Daniel, we went to kindergarten together. Like, do you think this is normal? Like, this is not normal for me, right? So, like, I'm not fucking sleeping. I'm partying. Yeah. So go ahead. So did it kind of fill the hole we were kind of attempting to fill in any way? I think it did. Because so the first time I was able to tell my friend, I've known him since kindergarten, right?
We don't keep in close touch these days, but, you know, we go way back. And he was he seemed really skeptical at first, but then he was just kind of like, wow. Yeah. OK. OK. Wow. It was kind of going along with it. Well, not long after that, he brought someone else to me. I was like, tell her what you were just telling me. He was like, tell her, tell her about the fries, because I had mentioned the fries.
Yeah. So I got a question for you, Callie. Up until this point, you have been fired up. You've been excited. You've been charged up. Now I have a sense of like the game was played and maybe you didn't win.
Am I misreading? Am I misleading? Where are you at here? Because I know Kelly from the calls as you're ready, your friends are ready. Now there's a different tone and I'm wondering what the hell happened? Where are we at? We are just those guys from the bar pitching ideas. So we're trying to catch up to where you're at here. No, I think it's just, you know, on the one hand, I'm a little status over. I've had fun in this kind of fantasy world. Again.
I get you have to leave the character behind. Jake, you can relate to that. No, you don't. You could live in a weird lie. I've been doing it for 15 years. It's called Hollywood. Oh, my God. Kelly, I'm sorry that happened. You just you pretend you know what you're doing. And some idiots at these streamers or networks pay you. It's all bullshit. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. It's all a lie. I pretended to be at Madonna's party and they bought the pitch.
I mean, yeah, I should try to harness this somehow, I guess. So I understand what's happening, Kelly. You built this really fun character and now you got to put it to bed. That is part of it. Yeah. Cause you know, it's, it's been fun, but also, okay. So here's the part that I kind of wasn't expecting. Yes. My friends have been like the people that have heard about this have been so excited
sweet and supportive and like cheering me on. And, you know, we're so proud of you and we knew you could do it type of stuff. So you want to know what can help on this? Yeah. Yeah. Now you feel a little bit like, well, I don't want to hurt anybody. It was for a bit. Exactly. Exactly. I want, I want to be the joke. I don't want them to be the joke. So here's how you do it. When, uh, this podcast comes out,
You let them in on the bit before it airs. The people who have been really sweet
And so there's a way to do it where you share the enthusiasm of the whole game of it so that they're part of it. Yeah, I'm not a natural con woman. I've learned like it sometimes it felt a little too easy. But that is what really got us a meet. Like we've talked about it even off air. Like when you played back the details, we were all kind of just like, holy shit.
Yeah, we were like, this is... I mean, you... It was like a stenographer reading back what she'd written down, but she'd added, like... Like, she'd added, like, an arc to... Like, it was... We were just like, holy shit. So...
I think that Jake is right. I think just say the story was just something to do. It was kind of a little prank experiment. And it got way bigger than I expected. It got bigger than you thought. And what and the reason why I want to tell you is because you guys were so sweet. I think about that. You guys are so good. And it really made me miss you. And it made me miss having you guys around because you're supportive, great friends. And that's kind of the moral that I took.
Holy shit, Gareth. That was the best piece of advice you've given on this pod. Really? Kelly, I think he's dead right because you want to know why that's such good advice is that it's true.
Because I think you lead out exactly what the Garf Man said. And that is this started of a bit. I called in this goofy podcast. They pushed me to do this thing. And you can go like, I wasn't sure if anyone was going to believe it. Really what I was trying to do was make the night memorable. And your responses were so unthinkably like great. They just made me realize like how cool you guys are. And I just want to let you know, even before it comes out,
that this happened, because by no means do I want you to be I want you in on the joke, not the joke. I like that. That was that was going to be my my follow up question for advice is, you know, should I let them in? And I think you're absolutely right. Yeah, well, we feel the same. I mean, it is a pleasure. And like I said, I mean, we had we were just
by your recounting of the things that we'd said. So you were awesome, and thank you so much for calling. We really, really appreciate it. Awesome. Thank you. Me too. Thanks, Kelly. Me too. Thank you so much. You're the best. Thank you, Kelly. We'll see you at the next reunion. Bye-bye. All right. Bye-bye. Bye-bye.
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That was a HeadGum Podcast.