34: Ashole with Max Greenfield and Natalie Morales
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And here we are for another episode, Jake, of America's number one podcast. Don't look that up. Big, big episode. I think we say that all the time, but this time... This is a big one. We've been lying most of the time. This is a big one. Yeah, this is a big one. We're actually doing something a little bit different. We've got two special guests on this one. Crazy. We've got Natalie Morales, who...

Is excellent in my new movie, Self-Reliance, which is coming out January 12th on Hulu. It's a movie I wrote, I directed, and I starred in. And we're going to have a lot of the cast come on. She was the first one who came on, and she just crushed it. So good. So good. And so good in the movie, and kind of good with everything she does. It's frustrating. And her call's incredible. I can tell you're frustrated by that. Me? Yeah. Yeah.

No, I'm benefiting. I'm using her. I'm squeezing her dry like a grape. I put her in a movie. I put her in a podcast. I take, I take, I take. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I just use her talent and I say, well, I'm the director. Jake, Jake, Jake, self-reliance, Hulu. Come on.

The next person we have on is a dear old friend, Max E. Greenfield, a.k.a. Schmidt, is back on the pod. It's his second call from the day he did it. He's, as always, incredibly funny, and we've got a great call on that. The cast is back together again. Here we are. And the chemistry doesn't miss a beat. It's just like we're back when we were shooting. So we've got a killer show. We appreciate all the support.

Keep listening. Keep sharing. Keep commenting. Keep rating. All the things that help us out. Follow us on the Instagram. You know where it is. That's Jake's way of saying he doesn't know where it is. Follow us on the TikTok. You know where it is. Again, translation, I don't know the handle. And you can get the merch at you know where it is. Again, we really should be giving you specifics, but Jake has none and I can't really help

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BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. Hey, how's it going? Hey, how are you, man? Welcome to We're Here to Help. We're very excited because you're not only on with Jake and Gareth, the regular hosts, but we have a guest on today's show. Max Greenfield is going to pitch in and

and help with whatever your problem is. So can we start? Can we just get your name real quick? Sure. Dylan. Dylan. Okay. And where are you calling from, Dylan? Before we get into it, Dylan, I just want to say shout out to our sponsor, Kitty Litter Potty Training. Dylan, he means City Kitty, but I'm sure you already know that. City Kitty, of course. Of course. It's a household name. Dylan, how old are you? 32. 32. You have any cats?

I do. I have two cats, actually. They're going to the litter? They're using your toilet? Gareth, do you want Jake and I to hang up? No, no, no. You guys can stay there. I'll give you a signal when it's time to tag in. What city are you in, Dylan? Omaha, Nebraska. All right. And why don't you tell us what the three great minds you have access to today can help you with?

All right. So obviously a first time father going to be here in February. You say first time father? Yeah. And he said obviously. Yeah. Okay. So you're about that. You're about to have a baby. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you very much. Two cats and a baby. It's big stuff. You know, that's sort of a lateral move.

You say two cats, two babies, a lateral move? Ask Gareth. Gareth has one cat, a cat tattoo, and no babies. Jake, I was asked a question, and absolutely it's lateral, Max.

Okay, so you're about to be a dad, Max, something the three of us can all relate to as fathers. Okay, so keep going. What's the issue? The dilemma is what facial hair should I lock in for this next chapter of my life? As a dad, your facial hair is your calling card. Am I right?

Well, I think it's part of your calling card. I think being a good father is probably more so than facial hair. Wouldn't you agree with that, Dylan? Sure. The hair is most of the lifting. Let's be fair. All right. So hold on. Your question is what facial hair should you have when your baby is first born for like the first round of baby photos?

Just in life in general. So like my dad has had the same mustache my whole life. He's had the Hulk Hogan handlebar mustache. Your dad's goes down past the lips? Oh, yeah. Sometimes it's crept onto the neck. Dylan, what do you rock on your face? I've gone a full beard for most of my days as a man here. I've done mustache. I've done...

but mostly I've done beards. And I've been told I can pull a mustache off, but I mean, Max, with you here as well, I know you've also rocked a mustache quite well. - Thank you. Jake's opposed to gray in the beard. - I'm not opposed to it. I just, Max, when I saw that photo on Instagram, it made me feel old. Then you called me a bully publicly. Is that fair to say, Max?

I said seeing gray hair, maybe shade, because seeing gray hair in your facial hair made me individually feel old because I'm older than you. You said I'm reporting you to bullying, and I think you did report me. You're eight months older than me. You say that like, now listen, man, I've got 12 years on you. I'm in my 60s. Well, I sent you a text that you seem 37 and I seem 55, and you iced me out and it hurt my feelings. Dylan, uh...

where are we on this one so you right now have a beard you're about to have a baby is it a boy or a girl it's gonna be a boy so you know what what are you going with with the name that is up in the air at the moment max is on the list i will say max is on the list okay max was cool because it's easy to spell that's right what's your partner's name

Stephanie. Stephanie. What does she think? She prefers the beard. She's seen me with no facial hair one time and she said, get out of my apartment. Well, you're moving into fatherhood now, though. Yeah, but it's a big job. A little different. What what's can I just get some stats on you? What's the size and weight we're we're dealing with? Six foot, about one ninety or so. I wonder why his size and weight matters with facial hair, Gareth.

Well, I mean, now that I hear it, it's a hot. He sounds like he's got a hot look going on already. So I don't want to, you know, squander. Oh, you're seeing it. Like a gel. I got you. Yeah. I was seeing if we could get away with a gelled up goatee. Yeah. All right.

You could stab the kid at that point. Baby's heads are soft, right? Jake, you're a dad, right? Yeah. Baby's heads are very soft. Max, what's your kind of take on facial hair and fatherhood? You got any thoughts on that? I've grown the beard out a couple of times, but then it gets itchy. And I don't like to be itchy and I don't like to have my hands in my face as much as I do when I have the beard and it gets long. So then I end up shaving it and then I'll

probably end up with a mustache for a while. Yeah. And then at some point, somebody will make a comment and I'll get self-conscious and then I'll shave that. You mean like a bully? Like someone like, I don't know, Jake might bully you online and then you gotta make a change? Yeah. And then you'll report your friend to Instagram for bullying? If I knew how to actually do that. Okay, that's fair. But I think I just, you know, commented and hopefully they'll

They'll take care of you. I'll say this about the facial hair. Sure. Your father rocked a Hulk Hogan stash. So, so all your childhood photos, there's that enormous mustache on your dad's face. Correct. And how did that make you feel when you look at those photos? Does he feel more to you? Like that's the idea of fatherhood. Is that a cool look in your eyes or do you look back and go, it would be cooler if he didn't have that mustache in these photos?

You know what? I've always been pro. I've been for it. I've always thought he looked, that's a dad's dash. I mean, it's obviously, it's intense. It can't be intense. And I'm going to tell you what, your first kid, the first six months, there's going to be more photos than you've ever been in in your entire life. Everybody's going to be snapping pics. You're going to be holding that baby. People are going to be taking photos. Your facial hair in this moment matters.

And I think it's a good question and I think it should be a choice. And I'm going to lead out personally with, I think you should copy your dad as a shout out to dad. I think you should forget the little beard. Who cares? Little beards are boring. Hipster beards are boring. A little thin mustache. No disrespect, Max, but a lot of times when you'll shave, you won't go thick.

You'll go a little bit of hair on your upper lip, but I've never seen you go like full Tom Selleck. Is that true, Greenfield?

You know, it's hard. Yeah, I don't know. But in the pandemic, you had a nice one. Yeah, pandemic, I let her rock. I remember we did something and you were wearing a Hawaiian shirt and like a Yankees hat and had a full mustache. We were doing some Zoom. That's full selling. Yes, and it looked good. Gareth, you used to have a mustache. I've had many a mustache. I love a mustache. Jose didn't like it.

I made him shave. Yeah, a lot of Jose's hairs got caught in it. I didn't know where he ended and I began. It got confusing. So I'm going to go with mine. I'm going to say if you're going to do something and you want to do something bold, actually go full Hulk Hogan and do it right. Just keep it in the family. I would actually do your father's mustache.

And I would start growing it now. When's the baby being born again? How many months? February 1st is the due date. Oh, you have plenty of time. I would not shave your upper lip until that baby comes, but I wouldn't have a beard until the last second. Don't do it like it's a gimmick.

Fucking rock the mustache starting Halloween. So by the time February comes, you're a guy with a Hulk Hogan stache. Go ahead, Garth. Maybe we do a Hulk Hogan Halloween costume. That's a good way to sort of foam the runway into it for the rest of fatherhood. And test the waters. Yeah, exactly. I think one of the most important things about parenting is consistency. So whatever you do,

Just lock it in and keep that look for as long as you can. I think that makes sense. It's like a long haul. And if you've had beard for so long, I'd say keep the beard because Jake has a beard 99% of the time, but he had to keep a weird, he had to keep like an in-between beard on new girl forever. And there were times where, uh,

Whoever was shaving him before, if he shaved himself, I'm not really sure what happened, but he would go almost all the way off with the beard. He'd go too low. It's true. It looks gross. It looks gross. It looks like a weird... I just, I had a beard and I shaved it all the way down only because I had long hair for a while because of the minks. And then, you know, we're on strike so I could get a short haircut. And with a short haircut and a full beard,

I looked uglier than I've ever looked in my whole life. It was, I don't know if you ever have it when you get a glimpse of yourself. And look, I'm not in the best shape these days. So I was shirtless in the mirror with a bad haircut.

It was shocking. It was the first time I saw myself and thought like, who is that human? I don't like the way that thing looks. Jake is not a self-conscious guy when it comes to like. No, it's honest. Looks, but there are moments where I can see he would shave to, it would go too close in the nude.

I hated it. So bummed. I'm going to leave. I'm going to stick with it, Dylan. You got to commit. I think Max is right. What you don't want to do in the first like year or two of fatherhood is your like son's getting to know you is change your look. Be bold, man. I mean, don't,

Don't just do a little beard. You'll regret it. I think you called into this because you want to make a bold choice. Am I right on that or am I wrong? You're not wrong. You know what? You're not wrong. Yeah. And you want to pull the trigger. You want to pull the trigger and you want to be able to convince Stephanie that it's the right move to rock a humongous Hulk Hogan mustache when you're child and born.

I think we're all kind of saying the same thing. I do too. Just go with it and you'll figure it out. I do have, if you want, if you want the must, the Hulk Hogan mustache to seem like the right idea, I do have a bad pitch for you. If you want to hear that. I love it. Of course. Have you ever heard of Horace Greeley?

Horace Greeley. I don't know if I have. I don't know if I have. Horace Greeley was a representative, a United States representative in the 1800s. I don't know what the hell he did, but his legacy to me is that he tried to go neck only. And he's the only guy I've ever seen in history who tried to go only neck hair. And someone's got to bring it back.

I don't know if you're the chosen one. What a look. If somebody can pull that off. Max, I can see you're thinking about something. What do you got? That's a terrible idea. I think that would look bad on anybody. I don't know. I agree with Max 100%. I think it's a dog shit idea. I think that's why it stopped with Horace Greeley in the 1800s. Let me just say, you're in Omaha. You guys could get some cold winters.

I'm talking about your scarf budget is now you don't need it. That's going all the way to the kid. So it's just homegrown. All right. So Dylan, here's where we're at. I'm saying rock your dad's mustache. I'm going full home legacy. The legacy. Gareth is saying only the neck. Max is saying stay consistent with whatever you choose.

Just lock into something and don't change. We like to end by asking what you think you're going to do.

I like the idea of the soft lead into Halloween, perhaps costume Hulk Hogan. Test the waters, see how life is like with that power on my face and just see what I get. And if I get too many bad reviews in. That makes sense. But then you would just trim the Hogan and you would go full mustache for the birth of your son.

Tom Selleck mustache. Start growing the neck out a little too, just to have it as a plan B. Hey Dylan, will you do us a favor? Sure. When your son is born, will you take a photo of what you look like and send it to the show? Of course. I would love to do that. Thank you for the call, buddy. Yeah. Thank you guys. Thank you.

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Hi. Hey, how are you? I'm good. How are you? I'm doing pretty great. It's a real special one today. You've got Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds, and the woman who plays my longtime love in the new movie Self-Reliance, Natalie Morales. Hello. Hi. What's your name? I'm Courtney. Courtney, where are you calling from? Madison, Alabama.

Ooh, Alabama. I didn't know there was a Madison, Alabama. I didn't either. Just thinking the same thing. Yeah. I like that Jake and Gareth are both already taking notes. Well, I started as a note guy just recently. The Garf Man started being a note guy, but I think his is just chicken scribble. I'm playing hangman, but it's really fun, and I've almost got it. He doesn't have to do notes. I do notes because I have a true dog shit brain, and I forget what's happening.

I'm like one of those waiters you're terrified of who's like, yep, got it. And you're like, you don't got it. You don't got it. That's too many orders. By the way, Natalie, hate that waiter. I hate that waiter too. I was a waiter and I was never that waiter. Same with me. But I think I, Courtney, I think I got it. I think I got Courtney from Madison, Alabama so far. I think I got that. I'll tell you what, Natalie. I was that. I wasn't that waiter. I would write it down and still fuck it up.

That makes a lot of sense. So, Courtney, you're from Madison, Alabama. What age are you around? Can you just give us a zone? I'm 35. I don't mind being specific. Atta girl. Now, what's the call about? What can we help you with today? Sure. So, I was hoping you guys could help me out. It was with my most embarrassing moment.

I have a friend a few years ago whose mother passed away. She's a family friend and she was also our photographer and she had taken some family pictures for us and she was over at our house because part of her process is that she sees where the photos are going to be so she can install them for you. Interesting. She was over at our house and she was telling me about how she had just come back from her mom's memorial and she and her brother had

that her mom was cremated and she and her brother split the ashes. And what? Oh, sorry. I just want to clarify. You said split the ashes.

Flip the ashes. Yeah. I got it. Yeah. I got to say, as somebody who's lost a parent, this happens. This happens. Yeah. I thought for a second she said that they flipped the ashes. And I was like, I'm not aware of that lingo. But thank you for clarifying that it's split. I just would like to preface. I don't think anyone really knows what to say when someone's close family member passes away. So I do think... It's an interesting setup. It is. Your brain goes a little bit blank. So...

she's telling me this and i was like well so now you guys don't know which part of your parents you have i was like what if you have the butthole oh i was just thinking the same thing courtney i was when jake said that i was like i would not want to have you know my dad's penis if that was like what if you just get like a penis and a couple ears natalie this is the no

I literally thought the same thing, Courtney. You and I are simpatico. I probably would have said that. You would have said it too. Wow. It depends on how close I was. I would have said that to like my best friend or to Jake maybe. Thank you. I appreciate that. You would say, man, what if I have my dad's butthole? This is what would happen. You would say, yeah, my brother and I split it and I would pause and I'd go...

And then I'd say it like I would try not to. And then I wouldn't be able to not say it. This is a turn. So, Courtney, you said to your friend about the ashes. Can you tell us what you specifically said when she said she has half? How I remember it is being like, wow, you know, so you don't you don't know what half you have. What if you have your mom's butthole? And her her face is kind of.

It just kind of went blank. And I'm sure mine did too. And she just kind of left. I mean, we're just like, okay, bye, talk to you later. Oh, wow. Of course she left. I'm with the photographer here. Okay, I have a couple of follow-up questions if anybody doesn't mind. Yeah, go. How long ago was this, Courtney? This was just a few years ago. Oh, have you never talked since? No.

So that's the other thing. We do talk. So we go to church together. I see her most Sundays and we have mutual friends. All my friends know about this. They all know it's my most embarrassing moment. Talked about it multiple times. I have a friend that was in grief share with this girl. And she said, Courtney, every time she would tell her story, all I could think about was that you asked her, um,

If she had her mom's butthole. Oh, I thought you were going to say she would share that someone asked her if she had her mom's butthole. She'd be like, it was really tough, but then it got a lot tougher. Courtney, do you ever regret not calling it an ash hole? Oh. Oh.

Hey guys, thank you guys so much for the call. Natalie, we're going to take a seat. Thanks everybody. I got to go. I'm out of here. Natalie, you jumped on like this is normal. I don't find this normal at all. I mean, that's my brain works like Courtney's brain work. My other follow-up question was, Courtney, did you say it? The tone in which you said it, was it like, this is a light, funny joke to make you feel better in this dark moment? Or were you genuinely curious? Great question. No, it was a,

Definitely, I would say light. Then I think you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I think it was a kind thing that you did. I'm not with you on that. You're not with me on that? No, no. I think it was a kind gesture. Okay, I'll tell you why I disagree. Courtney, has she ever brought it up to you? That was another question. Because you're saying she's thinking about it. Never. Okay. She's never been like, oh, man, that was good.

Yeah, maybe you can say, hey, remember that time that I said that after your... Because it's been a few years, so I feel like it's a little less raw now. Yeah. And you can ask her, like, was that helpful? Natalie, can you say that? Can you be Courtney and Gareth? Can you try to be the girl or the woman? Just honestly see what happens. Okay. I'm going to give her a fake name so as to not embarrass her because I don't want to ask you what her name is, Courtney. So if I'm like...

Hey, Luella, was that church great today? Really good. It was a really nice service. I have a question for you. Okay. And it's a little embarrassing for me. One of my most embarrassing moments is that after your mom died, I think I was trying to cheer you up by asking...

if when you split her ashes, if you ended up with her asshole. And I realize that that may have not been funny at that moment, but I wonder if it brought you any kind of solace or if it was terrible. And if it was terrible, I do apologize. No, it was a really awkward moment.

It was really awkward just because, I mean, I had just gotten them and I had never thought about that. Well, to be fair, an asshole is just another part of a body. It's a fair question, but you're going down a weird road here. Yeah, I am. I'm defending myself. Yeah, that's not what this moment feels like it should be about. Right, right, right. Don't do that, Courtney. Let's backtrack. Let's backtrack. You said, OK, I'm so sorry. I just want you to know that it came from a place of trying to like, that's really nice to bring you a smile. But it's it doesn't mean that it was the right thing to say. And that's really nice. Sorry for that.

So that's pretty solid at the end. Courtney, what is your actual question today? What do you do now? Yes. Do I just, for lack of better words, bury it or do I? Jesus Christ, Courtney. Courtney, you are funny. Courtney, you're a savage. Or keep going. Do you bury it or what? Or do I apologize?

I think you have the conversation and see if you need to apologize. Well, so maybe preemptively apologize. But Natalie, what you just did and the reason I got to her question was a heck of a pitch. And the way you did it, apart from defending that the asshole is somehow beautiful and I wouldn't go down that alley. But the road that you said, bring it up and clarify why you did it.

I think there's something in that that's right. Garth, what are you feeling here? I do think the reopening, the bringing it up. You think you would? I would, yeah. I think of the way that Natalie did it. I would. I think your group setting is like, it's not like the joint circle of bringing up the asshole. I feel like that makes it feel like, hey, how good is this bit? Hey, look at this circle we're in. It kind of reminds me of what? Hey.

Look at this. We're standing in a butthole. Speaking of which, isn't that what you scattered? So I think, yeah, I think you go that route. I think you just find a way. The only other way I could think to bring it up, did she take those pictures for you in the long run? Oh, yeah. They're hanging in my house. Yeah. Is that any one of those of your mother? No, no. But where were you going on that one? Then you could have a moment like, bye. Not going to be here forever.

Someday I'll get the butthole. You know what I mean? You could kind of go in there. So you're going back to the bring up the butthole. I said I like Natalie's pitch. I was just trying to find a way to kind of grease the butthole wheels a little bit. You know what I mean? Yeah, but I think that's repitching the joke. It is. As you said. It's still repitching the joke. You can't repitch the joke. My moment was somber. My moment was somber. A somber moment where you go, is she not going to be around forever? I might get her asshole. The mortality of one's mother is something I always struggle with.

Someday I'll probably scatter her butthole. You know, something like that. That's where you're pitching the joke, Gareth. Gareth, are you pitching to say the butthole sincerely? Yes. Is that what you're honestly pitching? Yes, I can thread that needle. That's wild.

I can thread that needle. Don't do that, Courtney. Garf, will you be Courtney? Natalie, will you be Luella? Gareth, will you try this? This is going to be terrible, but I'll commit to it. Let's see if you can do it for real. Let's see if we can do it for real. So we're looking at a picture of my mother on the wall, the picture that you took. Sure, let's pretend it's that cat behind you that won't stop staring at me. Okay, thank you.

Oh, gosh. I was so happy with how these pictures came out that you took. I really appreciate it. Oh, thank you. Thank you. That one of my mother just, I don't know, is my favorite for some reason. She's beautiful. I think it's just the way that you just, you know, you never know when they're going to leave you, your parents. They raise you. Oh, I know that. Yeah. Stop, Jake. Sad to think that someday I might be spreading her out.

butthole ashes all over the place. Like what I said to you. Think about that a lot.

Well, it's one of my most embarrassing moments, and I felt really bad about how that kind of came out that day. And I just want you to know I think about it a lot. So you did it again. It means a lot. No, no, I didn't do it again. You just did, you goober. Mute Jake. Stop. No, I think that it was, it's my way of just sort of saying my bad and just. I understand. You do? I got you something. Wait, Luella. Hold on, I got her something. I got you something. It's a bottle of wine.

You're my best friend. I'm not really your best friend. You're very close to me, though. I just go to church with you, and we haven't really talked since you said that awful thing. This is a really good charade. I just see you across the aisle at church, and I'm like, hello. Bring it in for a hug, sister. No, I give you peace at church because it's mandatory, not because I like you.

I think it's pretty good. There was a nice segue in there. Yeah, I think the key is that you have to say it is your most embarrassing moment. That's heartwarming. That's endearing. I think you have to say that when you bring it up. And I think that's your in. Courtney, where's your instinct? Where are you at here? The floor is yours. I feel like...

I'm a bit more confused, but I think I would just kind of, yeah, I think I would just maybe bring it up kind of funny, although funny didn't play well last time. Just like what you guys were saying, like, I have to tell you what my most embarrassing moment is, and it involves you. Yes. And tell her that I am sorry. We got the hunk who popped on the Zoom. Kevin, what's up here? Hi, Courtney. It's Kevin.

hey kevin how you feeling you feel like you got enough warm-ups in i think i've got some warm-up and some support and supportive friends here you ready oh my god yeah what the fuck okay we're doing this now this is high stakes it's just got high fuck okay all right let's kevin hold on the real woman's coming on she's in the waiting room

Courtney, you knew about this, yeah? Yes. Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. I'm sweating, but I have to tell you something. Before we do it, Courtney, just go like, I know this is a weird place to bring it up on a podcast that a lot of people are going to hear, but that's just to let you know that that's how much I care about you, that I'm willing to embarrass myself again because I want to set this straight.

Say something like that. And avoid anything I pitched. Yes, but also, Courtney. Yeah. I would not say the fucking word butthole. Yes. And Kevin, maybe mute me if I laugh. We cannot laugh at this. No. This is the highest stakes. Holy shit, Kevin, man. Also, maybe this is not something that we know. I bet Kevin knows. Maybe Courtney knows. Do we know? If she knows, why is she on...

No. No idea. Jesus Christ. No. All right. We got to gamble. So, Courtney, the floor is going to be yours. I'm going to set us up a little bit with her. Yes. Kevin, can they see us? No. No. Okay, great. Thank you. Good. I really, really recommend you start with an apology, sincerity, and talk about what she means to you and how this is your embarrassing moment.

This changes advice on this show dramatically. Wait, you know, maybe do Garen's. I already said walk away from anything I said. You walk away from anything I said. All right, let's bring her on. All right. I'm an idiot. We're not talking. Yeah, we're muted. No, we're talking. Oh, God. We're here, Big Mama. We're here. Hello. Hello. Hi. Am I Big Mama?

No, Natalie Morales is Big Mama, but you can be Big Mama if you want. Hey, you're on with Jake Johnson, Gareth Reynolds, Big Mama Natalie Morales. And can we get your name, please?

Jamie. Jamie. Jamie. I just want to say this. Thank you for joining our podcast. Your friend Courtney emailed us because there's something that she's really embarrassed by that involves you. She cares about you a lot. And here we are. Courtney, the floor is yours. Oh, okay. Hey, Jamie. Hey, Courtney. So I got to get something off my chest.

It involves my most embarrassing moment. A few years ago, when you were talking about when your mom passed away and you guys split the ashes. I don't know if you remember this at all. And we split the what? The ashes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And my response was, I hope you don't have the butthole.

Wait, Jamie, you do not remember.

I don't I don't remember. I don't. This is a big win. That's what I thought might happen. Wow. So, Jamie, let us walk you through what's happening here. Courtney has been embarrassed about this for a long time and she has felt shame and she wanted to apologize. And you don't even remember. And she's laughing now, which is a good sign. Yes.

Yes, I am married to a very sarcastic man. So that is probably not the worst thing I've heard. And that honestly sounds a lot like Courtney to me, which is why I love her. So we've all grown to love Courtney. Yeah. You gotta laugh at life. Courtney, how do you feel?

You know, I do feel a lot of weight gone, but then I also feel like... Like your joke didn't land? You also feel like what? Like I could have just not said anything. Like you shouldn't have said anything. Like this was all for nothing. But you would still be living in here. Welcome to the podcast. You would still be living in here. Welcome to the podcast. All for nothing. Wow.

I'm going to lean on Jamie a little bit, the new voice in the room. So you're feeling you don't remember it. It wouldn't have offended you at the time. You just know, Courtney, this is water under the bridge. You're good friends and it's for nothing. It's all fine. Yeah. I just, I can imagine the conversation, but I don't know if it's really a memory or if it's just, I know Courtney's sense of humor. And so it doesn't surprise me that she said that, but yeah,

But that's also why I love her because she would say something like that. Jamie, you seem like a great person. Can I ask you a quick pitch? What if she said sincerely, you know, your photographs are beautiful. What's your problem?

Maybe one day when my mother dies, I really hope I get the butthole. And offers you a bottle of wine. Then she would have been really confused because she didn't remember it happening. That's correct. Do you drink wine, Jamie? Jamie, do you drink? I don't. I'm feeling like I could. There you go.

I was right on so many points. Natalie, you were right. I would say our final advice to you, Courtney, now is you owe Jamie a really nice dinner for being part of this journey with you. So I think two ladies, my advice in closing is you guys should go out. It is on Courtney, Jamie, your favorite restaurant, and you guys have a big laugh together. I think we should get some pork butt. I do. Yeah, you can get some pork butt. Yeah.

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The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand-up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at HelpfulPod at gmail.com. All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions. That was a HeadGum Podcast.