96: Your 4th Favorite Spider-Man
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We're all rolling on our own file? All right, let's go.

Oh, Jake. Jakey boy. Jake. I mean, even if this is where this ends. Agreed. Who cares? I agree. But we, as two guys who like the game. We've reached the pinnacle.

This is enticing. Gareth, we won podcasts. Everybody else can fucking turn off their microphones. Why don't you kind of recap a little bit? People can't tear up microphones. Is that what you suggest that they do? Unplug them. Okay. I heard tear it up. Kevin, did I say tear them up or unplug them?

I was looking at myself. Kevin looks good, but that's not what we're here to talk about. The fucking hunk with no chunk. I know. I don't know what. Yeah. The hunk. He passed the chunk to you and me, Garth. By the way, ever since he's become the hunk with no chunk, he's been a bit of a punk. He's the punky hunk. Agreed. Agreed.

He's looking at himself. Okay, so start us off, Jake. Quickly before, Honk, would you ever consider shaving the chin and just leaving the mustache now that you're getting strong? I've tried it once. It was a little jarring. Maybe I'll do it again for like a Patreon thing. Maybe we do it on the 25th. Maybe we get the shirt off you and we just kind of shave whatever parts you eat. Why is everyone looking at me weird? Nobody was. We were here in the pitch. Okay, we get to pick. So,

So here's the news, Gareth and Hunk. As you know, on this show, we've talked about Barbara Corcoran and Robert from Shark Tank. We have said that I am Barbara and Gareth is Robert. We love the show. We love them. We connect to them. Well, Barbara reached out to our social media with two eyeballs.

Which is an initiation. It is. Well, I was a little nervous because it could be an initiation or it could be... Yeah. I'm hearing you talking about me. Cool it. Yeah, you're talking a little shark shit. You're talking a little shit? I'm Barbara Corcoran. Yeah. You know, I'll handle you. But you, being the great liaison that you are, you hit her up right away. I got excited. As we both did. And I said that we are legit fans. We both got very excited. We would love you on for an intro or callers, whatever. Yeah.

And she wrote back, I'm in. So ladies and gentlemen, not right now, but soon. We're hoping. We're hoping we land the Barbara Corcoran play. And, you know, maybe part of the play is we start tagging her and, you know, I don't know. At some point, though.

We'll have her in or we'll have her on or some version of it, which is a big win. Also, Robert, where you at? Yeah, Robert, what's your deal? You're making me look bad. You're making us look bad, amigo. You're making us look bad because we need Barbara. Of course we do. Yeah. Robert, what you doing, big dog? All right.

Come on. We got a great show. The 25th, our 100th is coming up. We've got This Is Just Us, Just Solos. It's a big, yeah, let's enjoy it. Join us on the 25th. We're doing it on our Patreon. 100th episode.

Yeah. Well, like we said, we're shaving. We're picking some parts of Kevin out of an envelope and we're going to happen on the 25th. And by the way, if you're not on the Patreon, everyone's going to hear it anyhow, because we're going to release all the calls, obviously, in our main feed. But for the 25th, we're going to take Kevin's shirt off. OK, that's right. And Jake's going to put it on.

Well, I'm going to wrestle it off him. Jesus, this took a turn. Without further ado. No, no, no, Gareth. That's what you were going to say. What were you going to say? I don't even remember. I was going to shout out Barbara again. Come join us. Without further ado.

Hey everyone, producer Kevin here. We look at a few photos throughout this episode. If you'd like to see them, I have the link in the episode description for exactly in the video when we check out those photos. So just go to the episode description, click on the links and it'll take you right there. All right. Enjoy.

Hello. Well, that is a chipper attitude. And here on We're Here to Help, we like a chipper attitude. Welcome. You're on with Jake Johnson. Gareth Reynolds, can we get your name, age, where you're calling from, please? My name is Abby. I'm from Chattanooga, Tennessee, and I'm 27. Wow. What's life like in Chattanooga? You going out to the bars? You having fun? You know, life in Chattanooga is the best life you can have. It is so much fun. Have you lived anywhere else?

I have. So I actually lived up in Cookville, Tennessee for a while back when I was in college. I would say Chattanooga is way better than Cookville. Yeah. Here's what I like about you. Chattanooga is the best because Cookville wasn't as good. I love it. Right. But you know, there was also a time in Florida when I was working at Disney. That was pretty fun, but Chattanooga is probably better. Well, here's what I'll say, Abby. If you say it's the best, then I believe you because it's the best for you. Yeah. What can we help you with today?

Okay, so I am in need really bad. My best friend has decided that she wants a Spider-Man themed bachelorette party. And I have no idea what kind of activities to plan. She loves Spider-Man, huh? She loves Spider-Man ever since she was little. We've been best friends for 18 years and that's just her thing.

That's a really unique group of ladies in Tennessee. When you guys were at Cooksville, were you in sororities? Because my judgment when I think of Tennessee colleges is it's a bunch of gals in those cute dresses where you're all doing the weird squat. And then you go like, delta, delta, delta, delta, delta, delta, delta, delta. And then you make an Instagram video where you're like, everybody come into our mansion. And then it goes and there's a girl who does a backflip and then there's a pool. And then they go like, oh my God, we want you with us so bad.

And then everybody like dives backwards and you're all gymnasts. Is that? Is that? Am I near a judgment or am I out of line? You know, when you think of Tennessee schools, you're not off, but that's not the kind of gals we are. Okay. So what kind of, that's what I needed to know. What's your group? If you had to do, my judgment was that you judge your group and paint a picture. That's happening. But next door, they're all watching Spider-Man. Yeah, that's what I'm like. Keep it down.

down over there i was like i know that judgment but it's three dudes in sweatpants being like no the 1984 version was better let me tell you why the web would work in humidity for the last goddamn time greg god the tv show was better if you say i can't i can't i'm not doing this anymore i will say this really quickly this is a goofy tangent but it's true go bud

Just met Tom Holland at an airport. Wow. Nice. As nice of a guy as it gets. And his younger brother reached out on social media. It was going to be a surprise, Garfman, but he's a painter.

And he's going to paint something or he's going to paint us for this show. We're going to hang it on the wall. Wow. Near the more power. Yeah. And so I'm saying this right now. It is going to be a Tom Holland heavy. Wow. Because he's the best. Wow. Wow. I like him out of all the other ones. Wow. And you're one of them.

Shit. That is crazy what you just did. I'll take him over Garfield and Toby. Until their brothers paint us stuff. Yeah. Unless there's like a guy named Mike McGuire. Johnny Garfield? Reggie McGuire.

Reggie McGuire is a great name for a player who used to be on the Oakland A's. And he was not a bash brother, but he was fucking good. Yeah, he was always trying to get in on the bench. He was Mark's brother. He was Mark's brother. Yeah. Reggie. Reggie McGuire. Was he really? Yeah, bench coach. Wow. What? Look at you. Lying. Wow, look at you. Abby, so describe the group of gals we're dealing with.

Okay, so to give you kind of a little overview, I just had my bachelorette party a few months ago, and she planned it, and we went as old ladies out in Broadway in Nashville. Wow. Oh, I love Broadway. You got photos? Yeah, of course. I even have a video if you want to see the video. I want to see it all.

all so yours was like an old woman thing so first of all you guys are all getting married at the same time well it's a group of 27 year old ladies yeah we're up some people hold out you know yeah sometimes you hold out in chattanooga it's true uh so talk to me abby what were other themes of bachelorette parties you were old ladies once what else

Let's see, other times, you know, there's the wig parties. That's really popular. Sometimes we like to dress up as frat guys to go out on the town. I mean, it just depends what the theme is. And so now I'm getting a better sense of your group.

We're silly goofy. She loves Spider-Man, so you're going Spider-Man themed. Is there a Spider-Man version? And don't say Spider-Verse to just try to butter me up. Yeah. That's her favorite. Her favorite, I believe, is the OG Spider-Man, the one with Tobey Maguire. Okay. So maybe say Spider-Verse to butter me up. You're sitting right here. Yeah.

And she has the opportunity to say to you Spider-Verse. And she chooses the old Spider-Verse. But here's what I care. Are you fucking kidding me? Look, I'm not here to butter his dicks. Are you fucking... Look, Abby, we're on your side, but I need to just have a minute here. Jake, John, and I'm going to get emotional here. Thank you. Okay? Because I'll tell you what you can't watch on the plane is the Tobey Maguire Spider-Man. Yeah, you can. Well, if you can't say... Stop it. Yeah, you can. Help me help you, asshole. All right? So, Abby...

Spider versus the one. Thank you. Okay? But here's the difference. On behalf of the show, Tobey Maguire licked Jake's ass, and that's from Jake to you, Tobey. That's Garrett saying it. All right? Listen, we got a Holland. Yes. We got a Holland. And you're going to say to Jake Johnson that that's not your... I mean, it's just... It's disgusting. So, Abs. Abs. What's up? Thanks, Garth. I just... I love you so much. I love that you have such a passionate friend.

I think he's going through other stuff, if I'm honest. There's a lot of off-camera, off-mic stuff, too. Abby, he called it. There's a lot going on personally and professionally. It's been a horrible run. I'm sorry to hear that. That's a gill line.

Hey, everybody. It's been a horrible run. Things are bad off mic. It's a horrible run. Squarespace. You want a website? You got it. We should start one where you're talking off camera and you go, it's been a horrible run. I go, and action. You go, hey, everybody. The gun kept clicking. Ladies and gentlemen, I've got a good thing for you today. So we have a Spider-Man theme. She likes Tobey Maguire.

Uh, and we are looking to how do you plan to this party? Is that correct? Right, right. Correct. When you're talking about what kind of parties do you guys do? Are you guys a bar hopping group of ladies? Are you a rent a place group of ladies? What is a typical bachelorette party look like for you? Wild animals who dress like old ladies wearing wigs or pretending to be frat guys. What do you guys do?

You know, it's a mixture of both. We start out like it's typically a weekend. We start out the weekend hanging out the house, doing the kind of traditional bachelorette games. And then the next morning we'll have a nice breakfast and then we'll hit the town. Okay. So you have one big party night and home base. Do you guys all stay in the same home base? Yeah, we all stay in like a big Airbnb. Okay.

Okay, so for sure that Airbnb is fully themed out. Yeah. From top to bottom, Spider-Man. You go on Etsy, you get pictures of Tobey Maguire, pictures from the movie. It's everywhere. You go online, you get cheap Spider-Man sheets, blankets. So when she walks in, it is a 10-year-old birthday boy's dream house. It is. You go on, you get little action figures. It is crazy.

spiders on top of spiders on top of spiders on top of bad guys on top of bad guys. So you say we have leaned in. I think that's good. I think for the home base, you want to do that. Now you're probably you're going to have a night where you're going out. Are you going to get like a party bus or something like that?

I mean, we're probably going to go out in Nashville just because we have to stay close because of her job. Beautiful Nashville. You're going to go on Broad Street? Nashville's the best. I mean, we're going to have to. We're going to have to get a party bus. I mean, that's just kind of what you do, right? Okay. So here's what I would— Can you theme out the bus? This is what I would— Go ahead. Why don't we let your friend—we haven't gotten her name, but what should we call her? Mary Jane. Camara. Mary Jane. Sarah. All right, whatever. Mary Jane.

Let's have her live the story of Spider-Man that night. Why don't we have her be on the party bus in her regular outfit, but then during the ride...

She gets bit by a spider. Ooh. We all kind of throw it away. It is what it is, right? How do you throw it away if it's a fake spider? No, this is what she, okay, I'll be her, okay? Yeah. Oh, man, that's such a good cake. Oh, man, I think a spider bit me. Oh, so she has to, no, but you have to like, a spider, a fake spider's got to come out and you have to say, you've been bit. Sure, we can do that. It depends, we can do it however much we want to Hollywood it. That's true, you can do it every once.

But but she will live the story that night of becoming Spider Woman or Spider Sarah. OK, so she gets bit by the spider on the party bus. Then you go to your first bar. You're fine. Right. Whatever. Having a couple of drinks at some point, she's going to come back in the costume because she's now fully realized a spider woman.

Spider-Man or however you want to put it. Right now, you're out there. She's the only one dressed like Spider-Man. So you can give her that level of attention. So she's dressed up as Spider-Man. She's getting drinks. You have theme cocktails like Spider Meister, things like that. And I even think on the bus, maybe you come up with a way or at one of the bars for her to be upside down like Spider-Man. Spider-Gwen.

Spider. Yes. So she could take it. Yeah. So she could take a shot or two like the upside down Tobey Maguire scene with Mary Jane. So I think that's amazing. I think that's a great start. But you can't leave her on an island where she's just the geek in the spider clothes.

So here's what I mean. Okay. I don't think she is in on it from the beginning. I think you're in the bus. The house is decked out. Then at one point, one of you puts on like a fake spider outfit and bites her. And she's like, what are you doing? I like that. And you go, oh, you've been bit. Then you pass her basically like a fucking,

flattering onesie that is spider, that looks like a spider person. You go, you have to put it on. She goes to a bar and now she is Spider Sarah. I like that. Now at the next one, while you guys are in there, three of you ladies go back to the bus and change. And then when you come in, now it's

Spider Monica, spider, whatever. And she goes, oh, my God, you're the best. And the other ones are like, yeah, not us. And by the next bar more. So by the end of the night, you guys are all dressed in the same. Love it. Spidey onesies. You're all Spidey, whatever. Let's cap this fucker. OK. First of all, great point on the form fitting, because as someone who used to dress up like Spider-Man for a living for about six years. Take a pause. Explain that. I used to do children's birthday parties as a job.

You don't remember this? I do remember. Yes. I used to drive. Well, I used my job for a long time when I moved to L.A. was every weekend. I would pack up my car with balloons and hula hoops given to me by a man. I was an independent contractor and I would get outfits like mainly Spider-Man. I would get Spider-Man, Batman, Winnie the Pooh, you name it. Whatever these kids wanted for their big special day, they got me fairly baked showing up to the event. And Spider-Man was the one that was the worst.

It was kind of the best, but it was like the tight fabric layer of a chubby man trying to make it in Hollywood where you really could not hide anything, whether that be rolls of fat or a tummy. Do you have photos of this? Huh? Do you have any photos? I don't know. I mean, here's the thing. I'm in thousands of photos. I don't have access to any of them. Yeah, yeah, respect. Because every party, I was like, hey, for sure. You're not taking selfies. Yes, tons of pictures and tons of shit, but I don't think I have any, but I'm in tons. Yeah.

But that outfit, it really left nothing to the imagination. So I'm just validating your point of let's make sure we get a comfortable thing. What I love about your pitch is that she's in the passenger seat. Yes. Sarah's in the passenger seat. She's experiencing. Yes. And I think everything Jake said is right. She gets...

By the last bar, you are all tipsy in these outfits, but we need our third act. You hire a Green Goblin to show up to that bar. This is great. And you either have to out-drink the Green Goblin, out-party the Green Goblin. And Garf, the Green Goblin, at one point, you talked to the bar before. You know the part of bachelor parties or bachelor parties where there's like a mic and they take over? Yes. Well, at the party...

You're all spider people. You hear on a microphone. And then she comes over. It's one of your friends, too. Or you can hire. I mean, like I'm saying. You're taking a chance. You are, yes. Because when you hire from the outside, there's a real chance you get the Garf Man. But.

One of you is now the bad guy. And the only way to beat the Green Goblin is to out drink the son of a bitch. And he's got his own drink. You have a specialty cocktail made at the bar you go to and you have to out drink the Green Goblin or some version. We don't want to say like,

end up in the hospital from drinking. You all have to chug one big drink and then you beat them. They do a big dramatic death. Abby wins. Everybody at the bar will cheer. Yep. And then you go to the next bar. Abby, what do you think of this plan?

I think this sounds awesome. And honestly, it sounds like you have enough experience in dressing up and playing the characters that, Gareth, maybe you should come on and just do that part for us. Wait. Well, I will be in Nashville. When is the thing? Because, Gareth, when are you going on tour near there? Let me see. So when is this party, Abby?

It is. We haven't planned it yet because she is a pediatric resident, so she has to figure out her schedule, but it will be sometime in the summer. Okay, hold on. I'm going to be there sometime in the summer. Is this true? Yes. So, Abby, we're going to connect you with Gareth, and will you be with Luke who could film it? Yes. There's a chance we're going to coordinate this, and Gareth is going to be the Green Goblin. Amazing. I haven't announced it yet, but it'll be in July. Okay.

Abby, how does July work? Oh, yes. This is working, Abby. Actually, that is not right. I can't find it. But it is sometime this summer. Yes. Okay. So, Abby, we're going to get in touch. I'll let you know. Kevin and Gareth are going to get in touch. I'm not going to be part of this. But hold on. In hearing about it, Gareth, I want to be surprised. Abby? I have it somewhere.

So, yeah. So please, Abby, send over all the pics of you ladies. Congratulations. It sounds like a lot of fun and there's a chance this is going to turn into a really fun ended. If it doesn't, I still think you got a nice way. Yes. Either way, you're going to have a hell of a time. I'm so excited. I knew I could call you guys for help. Yeah. Abby, you're the best. You guys are the best. Thank you so much. We're the best. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Hello. Hello. Whoa, okay, we got two people. Hi, this call seems like it's going to be a little multimedia. Welcome to We're Here to Help. You're on with Jake and Gareth. We have two people, correct?

Yeah, so I wrote in, but I'm here with my fiance. Okay, why don't you tell us your names and where you're calling from and all that bullshit. I'm Rachel, and this is Will. We're calling from Dallas, Texas. Okay, and how old are you guys? We're in our late 20s. Okay. Babies. Kids. Okay. Okay, what's up? What's up, Willie? What's up, Rach? Where are we at here?

Yeah. So we're actually here to talk about a neighbor we have. We bought our house about two years ago and have this old neighbor two doors down from us who's brought up several times that he wanted to paint us. And we thought it was a really sweet gesture. So we gave him a reference photo. I'm sharing the reference photo with the guys now so they see a nice photo of you. And what's the cat's name, Rach?

Okay. Yeah, so his name's going to be Gary. Okay. Did you guys use your real name? It's a fake name for the cat. Is that really what's happening? Just for the cat community. I don't know.

The cat is Maddie and she's no longer with us. Oh, okay. We thought, well, sorry about that. It's very difficult, but we thought you were making the cat anonymous and giving us your real name because your cat had some part of the cat freedom. Yeah. Okay. The cat doesn't want to be part of this call. You're saying the photographer or the painter is, is Gary in this story. Yeah.

Well, I got, first of all, I got to say Willie and the Rach, you guys are a gorgeous little couple. You got a great little thing going. So you sent this to your weird neighbor. You said you want to paint us, paint us. Is that correct?

Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. So he like, as it's come together, he's like gotten our input for certain design elements. Yeah. Like what we'd wear in the painting. I don't know why he didn't just use the reference photo, but of course, um, he definitely took some creative liberties. Um, but he's finishing up the portrait this week. Wait, quick pause. How long is his ponytail? Yeah.

The neighbor painter. Is it down to his butt or just lower back? He's like, he's an older, older guy. I think he has short hair. He has like a, yeah. He's not like 80 years old. Yeah. Oh, oh wow. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. So very impressive. But like he started on this portrait and this thing is like giant, like probably around three by two feet. And you're probably expecting like a mantelpiece, like just something you can place on the mantel, but he's giving you like a featured piece. Yeah. And quickly, did he charge you for this?

So no, that's what we're worried about. He's like been selling in the fact that he wants to do like more portraits as a way to make money. And so he's like brought up the cost of materials and like a van he wants to buy. Well, he's asked like, he's told us how people have come over to him, like asked him how much he's charging us. We have like no idea what we should give him, but we feel obligated to. But we'd want to give him something that's like,

appropriate for his efforts, but it's also something we don't really love, and it doesn't look a lot like... Wait, do we have the painting? Wait, hold on. Don't show it yet. This is what I want... Okay. So, the problem is kind of twofold. I can't wait. The problem is kind of twofold. The problem is, A...

He's clearly put a lot of work and effort in. But he offered. He offered. You didn't say it. No, no, no. But you know how it is sometimes if someone does something for you, you're like, I got to give you something. I got to give you something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're kind of in that predicament a little bit. And then I'm sensing that the final product is maybe not where you need it to be. Let me ask you a quick question because you said that this neighbor character. Yeah.

Gary. Gary or Jake. Sure. Has said future Jake for sure on this guy. There's no chance I'm not doing this to some nice young couple at some point. They're just like, man, this creepy old guy. Hey, you guys want a painting? I don't know, Jake. I'll just do it anyhow. I'm going to put you in spacesuits. Oh, fly. So when he said the materials cost money, what numbers has he been saying so far? What has he said he's put into it?

He said, like, the canvas, like, it's giant. He said it costs, like, it's like a $400 canvas. Oh, my God. What? What? Okay, and then when he said... Yeah, he just kind of mentioned, he's like, oh, yeah, these are really nice quality materials. And he showed us the paints at one point, and they're like, I don't know, we were looking it up, and it was kind of expensive paints. And so we're like, we just...

We just feel like we're in deep on this thing that he's put a lot of time to, and we're just not sure what to do with it or how to get it back. And so you guys are feeling like you're in for around $750 to $1,000. Is that correct? Oh, my God.

It wasn't supposed, I mean, like we didn't know at the time that we were going to be giving him something, but like, it just seems like he's dropping all these hints, but I just feel like we have to do. But for you guys right now, and we're going to pitch, we'll come up with something as a group, but just to know where you two are at to start in your guys' feelings, what do you think he's looking for? What do you think the number is right now? Are you guys at around 500 bucks? Where are you guys at?

I could see that being his expectations. I think one thing we've like, yeah, he's again, hasn't thrown out a number that he's expecting from us, but when he's talking about, Oh yeah, I'm saving up for a van. And like, like, I don't know. I just seems like he is at a different place than we are. I understand. And do either of you guys do anything creative at all? Because there's always the, a gift to a gift.

Go ahead, Rachel. What do you do? So I actually am a very amateur painter as well. Oh, okay. Yeah. It's great to have in the back pocket. It is. Now, let's just before... I think it's time to see it because I think...

You, first of all, should feel no guilt. This guy said he wanted to do it for you. Yeah. So the fact that he's spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars on shit. That's his choice. He chose to do this hobby. You did nothing. You kind of have been lulled into this way now where you're feeling a little bit guilty. You did. You gave the guy a goddamn picture. Agreed. Now, with this in mind, Rachel and Will, have you guys hung it up? Do you like the painting before we see it? What do you guys think of the artwork?

He's finishing up this week. We don't technically have it yet. We're going to see something right now, right? But the transference is about to happen. So this is a great time for the call. Why don't we see, Kevin, show us what we're dealing with. Okay, so that's the image that he came off of. Oh, sweet God. Why are you both in white? Can you make it bigger, Kevin? Why are you in the middle of the ocean? What?

Why is there a lighthouse? Oh, man. I gotta be honest. Here's... Here's the problem. It's excellent? I'll buy it. I'll buy the fucking thing. Is it's

It's not, it's right at that level of not being great at all, but it's so weird. I have an idea. I have an idea. Me too. What number would you guys feel comfortable giving this man so that the neighborly thing feels good?

Is 500 the number? That's way too much. Like we've, we've talked to some friends and like, I don't know. One person was like, give him a $50 visa gift card and call it a day. Yeah. Like we, you got to live next to this guy. Yeah. Oh yeah. He's yeah. Next door neighbor. We were looking at like, Hey, can we just buy him these paints? And that was like maybe a hundred dollars, but that doesn't solve like the money kind of thing that he's expecting. All right. But I have a pitch. I have a couple of pitches. Go. Uh,

We're gonna give you money from the show and we're gonna buy it and put it in Kevin's studio. That was gonna be my I like so what I think we could do here guys is we could send you it is What do you think well Venmo you 250 will split it and you send it to us and we'll put it in the background in our recording It's it's here's it's great. What's unfortunate is it's going to enable this man is now who cares. It's funny It's it's so goddamn

I mean, you, just for anyone listening, first of all, you can go to YouTube and have a look at this. Please do. This is perfect in your studio, though, because we needed artwork. Yeah. So, Rachel and Will, is $250 enough, be honest?

So I was originally thinking like $200, and then we started batting around numbers. I don't want to split it with you guys. I don't want you guys to pay anything. I want it to be a nice win for you guys where you feel like hilarious. So if we Venmo'd you guys $250 and you gave him $250, do you feel good with that? Yeah. I feel like he would be very happy about that. So we're going to send you $250 and we're going to send you money for shipping?

And we're going to buy this painting and we are going to do this. This is the Barbara. And this is, yeah, we're going to own a hundred percent of this and we're going to get in touch with this artist. Okay. All right. And he's going to do our, why don't we get him to do one of us too? Yes. Okay. So, you know, here's the way this guy, this is the greatest call. This guy's painting career. So Rachel and Will, here's what we pitched to you. You,

You tell him that you've got some friends who love the, you sent the photo, they love it. You give them the 250 bucks and then say for another 250 bucks, they would like a painting of them. Or you just give his info to us and we'll get in touch with him. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, it does. So this could turn into a really nice win for you guys because you then got him work.

And you got rid of this thing. Are you happy with that? From what he's saying, he's like, I love that. Like he's showing this picture off on his front porch, trying to get more people to do more paintings with him. Tell him to get a website. Cause we're, we could maybe get him some work. I cannot believe this is like, we can hook them up with Squarespace. This is like the William. Yeah. I'll also say that he's like,

He's 80 years old, so he doesn't text or maybe even have a computer. Okay. So we can probably better that he doesn't hear this. So that's good news in a way, but either way. So what we can do, let's keep this simple. What we can do is we'll send you guys money. We'll buy the painting. We'll put it in studio. Does that solve your problem?

I think it does. I think it's a great option. My only thing is like if he ever came over and was like, oh, where's the painting? You could say you sold it to some friends in Hollywood. This is true. Why don't you also, just to be safe, why don't you take a picture of it?

and frame the picture of it and have a small version of that on your mantle if he ever comes over to show that you do like it. But then you could say, you know, a couple of friends of yours who work in another city came over, loved it and bought it. And then, yeah. So here's the other option. If you don't, if you're feeling like you want it, you look like cult members who drank the Kool-Aid and ended up in linen in the ocean with a lighthouse behind you. Well,

Will you're kind of close Rachel. He didn't do you any justice. That's not Look he Kinda has a version look Rachel what I like about yours is he got one of your eyes, okay? So here's the alternative if you guys don't want to send it and do that if you want it there in the house And if he comes over you put it up on a nail Rachel

You spend the weirdest 10 hours of your life and you do a painting of him and you do a swap and you get it the same size and you put him in, in front of a dragon. Well, why don't you got a rhino chasing him down? Why don't you have fun with it? And if you're going to do that, why don't you paint will holding his painting? And that's tough for an amateur painter. Well, I mean, if it's trash, whatever, or you got the neighbor running through the jungle being chased. That's great too.

And then he goes, he goes, I'm finally done. And you go, great news. Me too. Yeah. You can paint him as Adam in the garden. And he goes, I don't want this. I want money for my stuff. And you go, yeah, same. Yeah. And that tomato, tomato kind of moment. Painter life, right? Yeah. Hashtag painter life. Cause I want a van too. My King. Yeah. So you got two, you got two options so far. One,

Sell it to us. It'll be in the background of Kevin's studio forever. He gets a little bit of money. If he asks about it, you say some people actually bought it for the two 50 and that's where we got the money for it. And he'll go, huh? To paint him being chased by a dragon in the jungle and handed to him as he hands it to you and say like swap.

Yeah, I think the latter is probably a bit challenging for my skill. I mean, it's challenging for his skill. I'll be honest, Rachel. The more I look at that one eye of yours, the more I think that you're okay. You're fair. He took a lot of artistic liberty. He put you guys in the ocean. It looks like you two are just about to get re-baptized in the Pacific. And so what do you guys, of those two options, where are you guys at now?

I think we're probably going to go with option one. Great. Because I don't know where we would put this in our house. Kevin is fist pumping. Yeah, Will, are you good with that too? Absolutely. We're going to take a picture. We're going to do exactly what you guys said with a little mini version of it. I think that's perfect. And then we'll send you a photo of it on the wall too. And you'll see it most recordings. Yeah.

And so... And that is incredible. We watch on YouTube, so... Perfect. Then you'll see it every episode. I just got to let you guys know, I did airdrop this image to the wrong computer, so another recording did receive this image with no context. That's fine. Well, they put it... Look, when you guys are... Look, and you're going to have a great life together. You seem like a lovely couple, but we all expire at one point, and when that happens, we have a great thing to hang outside near the reef. Yeah.

So guys, Kevin will be in touch. We'll organize the shipping and we'll pay for that too. We'll do it as fast as possible. And maybe we can get it here by the 25th. I can't wait to have it. Phenomenal. Thank you guys. Phenomenal. Thank you guys. What a great call. We appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you. You were me, Gareth. Hello.

Let's do it together. Hi. Okay. Hey, how are you? Hey, how are you doing? Well, let's not do the same thing. Good. Great. We're trying to do the intro together. What's your name, please? It's pretty good. How are you? Hi, I'm Angelica. I'm in Maryland. Angelica. Nice. From Maryland. And what's your favorite band and or movie? You got a favorite movie, like a go-to favorite movie, a favorite band?

Yeah, I really like Hozier. Sure, sure, sure. How old are you? I'm 26. Yep, we feel that right now. You like the song Too Sweet? Oh, yeah, that's one of my favorites for sure. Yeah, I know it too because I'm also a young guy. What can we help you with today? Hey, Garrett, do you like any Eagles songs? Shut up. So will you tell me your name again so I don't mispronounce? Hollywood Nights.

I love it. Angelica, what can we do for you today? I wrote in because I needed help. I have these little baby doll collections and they're in this like glass case.

And my husband and I moved into this awesome house like two years ago. And I've been really wanting to display these babies somewhere in our house. But he's really, really freaked out by them. What's wrong with him? I mean, he should be calling us. He's the one with the weird, odd problem. Hey, I'm calling in. I'm normal.

Hey, just so you know, I'm the regular one here. Anyway, I want a big glass case of my dolls, and my partner's kind of cuckoo. So, Angie, what's going on? You want to display the dolls? Yeah, I want to display the dolls. They're really cool. They're from the 1930s or 40s or whatever. Oh, wow. Now, we're getting a visual here of your dolls from the...

Those are pretty cool. So tell us really fast, Angie, what was the inspiration? When did you get those? Why did you get them? What do you like about them? Keep that picture up too, Kevin. All right. Yeah, you're not going to like this. So my dad actually got them for me. He found them in an abandoned house.

Inside of a wall. So he was demoing the house in this case of these baby dolls. You're like a Jordan Peele opening. Yeah, terrifying start. He's doing a demo, knocks down a wall, sees a box of these weird baby dolls and gives them to you? Angelica would like these. Kevin, will you zoom in on the middle if you can? There's one little weird one. Hey, Gareth, you just got a new nickname. What?

Little weird one? Yep. Oh, damn. Oh, my gosh. That is a little weird one. It looks... Right next to the little cop, too. Yeah. I don't know. Well, we would encourage people to go to YouTube to see these, but as best we can describe them... I think that one's a polar bear. These are wild. Yeah. They're wild.

Don't defend the doll. By the way, the one we're looking at is not a postman. How about the one on the far right? The other little guy. Look at the big fat baby. These are terrifying. You got a new nickname. Little weird guy, big fat baby. Weird guy, big fat baby. Gareth, we have a show. We got a title.

We've got a title. No, this is helping. This is helping. Oh, by the way, Big Fat Baby is so me. I hate it. That's us, Gareth. That is us. Big Fat Baby.

Those two are us. You got a checkered red one. By the way, hold on. That, those two guys right there with our logo should be the poster for our show. That, well, we should at least highlight this for you. So your dad gives these to you, yes? Well, give is a very generous term for what he did. He found them in a wall. That one's terrifying. These, I can't explain. Like, we're trying to move on, but Angelica, these...

The more that we zoom around, the more horrifying this gets. These look like dolls that would be rotting at the Goodwill with good reason. But also maybe 80 years ago at the Goodwill. These are old now. This is like before doll technology. These are...

I bet they smell. Some are very... They don't, surprisingly. They actually, like, they're... So there's a little bit of a plexiglass on the front, and then they're zip-tied to their necks.

Oh, that's and by the way, that's an awesome feature. There's zip ties around it. That's cool. I was out until I heard they were hanging. Andy, did you zip tie them? No, they were like that. This was in the wall like this. This is crazy. Yeah. And like, I haven't done anything to them because I don't like they're so fragile.

Right. Let me let me let me ask you this. What is it about these dolls that you like? Because when I look at these, this to me is garbage. Not though. This is not garbage to me. Angie, this is not garbage. It's it's scary, but it's not garbage. Call him big baby. Exactly.

Yeah, I guess it's like the history piece of it. I'm with you. My dad and I are like kind of polar opposites. So the fact that he thought like, oh, my daughter would love this. Like, I guess it's part of that, too. But they're also just really like weird. And I just I agree. They're quirky and they've got a lot of history. And some of them have real human hair. So there's a lot. You back, Jake? How you feeling, buddy? Yeah, some of them have real human hair. How do you know that?

Well, I opened the case a little bit and then I, this is really weird, but I joined like a Facebook doll identification group and all these people like flooded my comments when I posted this and they were like, Oh my God, that's real human hair. Those are called penny dolls. They're from world war two. There's so much history. These are worth a lot of money and like all of this yada, yada, yada stuff. And they wanted to buy it, but I wanted to keep it because it's just quirky and cool.

I agree with that. So really fast before we get into anything, this is as Barbara and Robert, what were people offering to pay? Like, I think one guy offered me at least two grand. Okay. For all of them. Okay. Don't make that face, Kevin. That's not that much. I thought from world war two with real human hair, if we were talking 15, 16 grand, Angie, I was going to be Barbara. I was going to take 10%. We were going to move these. I thought you were going to say $30. No, for those. These are old. There's like that weird nurse one. So your dad finds them in a building and,

anybody in that house he knocked down get murdered were there any skeletons around there was it in the news did a spirit leave the wall when he grabbed it it was abandoned like we didn't know like anything about the house at all he was just hired to like vacate it and like knock down some walls so just yeah just to talk this out a little bit do you not see this as all how all horror movies like this start or no

Yeah, no, like I totally do. And I love horror movies, but like, I don't, I don't know. I see them and I'm like, they're creepy, but like, I don't feel like I haven't gotten possessed yet. It's been like five years since I've had them. So you feel good with them. You like them.

Yeah, they're my babies, you know. OK, that's by the way, we're all flagging that. But why don't we just get a little. If they're your babies, Angie, cut them off the wall because they're hanging by their goddamn necks. Yeah, they are from the 40s and have passed. OK, so they're your babies. Now, we have lost your husband in this conversation that has irked us all to some degree. No, not irked me. Sure. Jake seems Jake's in. I don't like the hair.

Yep. The real hair? Yeah, nobody does. What is the question, though? Yeah, I'm just trying to figure out, like, how to convince my husband to let me just lay them in the house. Because right now they're just, like, in the basement. So let's do this. Let's do this. Let's do this. Angie, just start. Gareth, you're the husband. Let's just see what happens. Okay. So can I hang out my babies? No. No.

Thank you so much, Angie. Let's try something else. Wait, you guys are supposed to be helping me. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. Okay. What is great about this situation is that every part of it is like, the husband's right, but we need to help you figure out how to hang your dolls. And Angie, we are on your side here. So you want to hang them up. Your husband likes them in the basement. Have you brought it up to him? Have you talked to him about this? Yes.

Yeah, no, like at least like every week or so. Every week? I'll be like, hey, like, how about these babies, you know, like, because he has band practice in the basement. So like all of his bandmates are like walking by this case of babies and they're obviously naturally have questions. So I'm like, well, why don't we give them a space? And that way, you know, they're not just creeping in the basement. They can at least be creeping in the main floor. Where do you want them? Do you got a spot?

I have a thought that I'm thinking, yeah, like in our, you're going to think I'm so crazy. We have a room for our cat. So I was going to put him in.

So you have a room for your cat and you lost me and you want, yeah, by the way, we switched. Yeah, we really have. So you have a room for your cat and you're like, put it in the cat room. Perfect. Perfect. Yeah. I thought like, you know, that's chill. Right. And he won't have to see it because he doesn't really go in the cat room because have you pitched this idea to him yet?

Yeah, but he still just like really doesn't want them displayed anywhere. I have a pitch. I have one too. Go ahead. Okay. Angie, this is a real pitch. It's going to sound like I'm making a joke, but I'm not. Hang it up in the cat room without telling him when he asks about it. Say you didn't do it. He goes, it'll take him a couple of days because he's not in there.

And then he'll go, hey, did you hang up the dolls in the cat room? And you go, no. Just see what happens. It's creepy. It's crazy. Right? But it's already up there. He doesn't go in the room. Here's my pitch. And when he's gone, literally put a nail in the wall and hang them up in your bedroom.

He's going to come home and he's going to be like, fuck is going on and be like, I don't know. I just like, you know, the more that when you said no to the cat room, I was like, yeah, that doesn't make sense. And I feel like it's weird in the basement because you're always. So I thought our room after you have that discussion, he'll compromise down to any other room. You'll be able to go cat room. No problem. Or start taking them out and putting them around the house like little elf on a shelf.

Okay, so that's where... But that's where, like, okay, what if I'm, like, unleashing them? Like, what if the zip ties, like...

are there for a reason, you know, like that's where I get a little creeped out because I don't want to, I'm close to them, but I don't want to get too close. Angie, tell me, I need, I need the truth. Now we need to get to planet earth for a second. Cause I believe, I believe there's reality to that fear. What percentage of you in real life is afraid that you might be unleashing some evil dark spirit. If you unhook their neck chain, are we talking 5%, 15%, 50%? Where are you at? You know, those dolls way more than us.

Yeah, I would say five. I mean, like, yeah, but you never know. Right. I mean, I agree. Once you start, you can't go back. Exactly. So you're you're a no on cutting the next because 5% you might unleash the beast.

And also they're really fragile and I don't want to break them because some of their arms are falling off. So I don't want to like... What do you think about just literally... Yeah, it is wild. But I'm actually... I mean, this is... I'm a little shocked at you at this call, Jake. You're very... You sound...

you're very understanding to this call. I feel like normally you would be like, Angelica, you get the dolls out of your goddamn house. But instead you're like, well, I mean, I like the idea. Well, I've had some weird artwork, man. Okay. I used to be in the clowns. I used to have a lot of clown artwork and a lot of people didn't like it. I'd go to Salvation Armies. If there was ever a clown, I would have it. What the fuck? Okay. That's a shame. You're not calling in.

But I hear what you're saying. I think there's a weird connection to your dad. I think it's funky. It's weird looking. It's 5% scary. You want them up there. Them living in the basement with his band makes no sense because then he's celebrating it and using it, but you're not. The cat room seems like a perfect compromise. Here's what I think you should do to start, Angie. Take it out of the basement, put it in the living room, lean it against the wall.

And he goes, what is, what's going on with that? And you're going, I want it on one of these walls. I want it out of the basement. I just want to start the conversation and tell them where you want it. I would like it in the cat room. What do you think of that? What do you think of just bringing it out of the basement and seeing what happens? I love that. And I, I have tried that like once before and he just kind of laughed at me. I want, I have two more pitches. I like the idea of, of, of,

as I already pitched, putting it somewhere where he's like, no. And then you go cat room. What you could also do is you could have a friend come over and you could have it out and set it up. So your friend is like, oh, those are awesome. Like kind of stack that moment a little bit. So that gives you a little bit more leverage to be like, oh yeah, maybe we should put it somewhere. What you could also do is,

Is we could have him call the show and we could try to pitch in that direction, Jake, and try to sell him on it. I think that's interesting. It's also the fact that it's worth two grand. Yeah. Is that a feature to maybe highlight? Here's where I think we're kind of at, Angie. Either you're just bringing it up, you're starting the conversation, or I kind of think I like Gareth. You hang it in the bedroom.

And you just he goes, what are you doing? That's disgusting. And you go, well, I need to hang it up. I can't be in the basement anymore. I don't feel right about it. And then hopefully he says, well, can't be here. And you go, fine, I guess we can put it in the cat room. Go ahead, Garrett. Maybe on top of that, just say it was face down. The last time you went down there, you think one of his bandmates knocked it over. Oh, OK. So it's kind of on the band a little bit. Keep going, Jake. Angie, help us out here a little bit. What are you thinking? Where's your head at?

I don't know. Cause like part of me is like, Oh, I don't want to make him like uncomfortable. But so, you know, it's, I feel like the cat's room would be the perfect place. Cause my cat is pretty chill and there's kind of like an empty wall space. What was that? Hold on. Why is that? Why is that a reaction?

I made a face, Angelica, and it was not for it was not a public face. But now if we're going to dissect it, the reason why I made the face is because the cat is not going to give a fuck what's in its room. You can put anything in there. That's not true, though. Like, could you definitely like I had a Lego thing happening and he fucking he'll mess with it. He'll knock shit down. Like, that's definitely not true. He's not going to go. I don't want this on the wall in my room. But he might scratch at it.

Thank you, Jake. You're welcome, Angie. Don't thank him. I thought you had a cat. I thought you were a cat guy. I do have a cat. I'm very supportive. I'm trying to get the fucking thing in the cat room as much as anybody, Angelica. Okay? We all want your weird, haunted hair dolls to end up in the cat room.

Oh, OK. The way to do it is not to just go. I want to put it in the cat room. You tried that. He said, no, we're talking about how do we make that seem like the best case scenario to him? That is kind of the goal. And the cat, I don't think, is going to give a shit if you hang your dolls in there. I got something, Angie. Even if it attacks you, I guess. Go ahead. What if what if one night you plan a little date night? Oh, yeah.

candles home cooked meal or order from your favorite place hungry yeah gareth stop advertising we're not talking about rocket money right we're not talking about rocket money right now if you get hurt we're not talking about zoc doc well jacques jacques and i learned that from babble.com this episode is sponsored by hulu maybe they go to hotel.com go use pretty litter or booking.com not hotel oh yeah yeah yeah pretty litter for this one but let's get back to it yeah here's what i'm thinking

What's a great date night? How could you host something? What are we calling this husband of yours? His name is Austin. Austin. Cool name. Gareth's favorite city. So you got Austin and he, what's his dream date night with his wife?

Lovely wife, Angie. What are you guys doing? We do really like just making a home-cooked meal together. We'll usually make a nice salmon with veggies and potatoes. Yes. This isn't really super romantic, but we just sit on the couch and watch Law & Order, SGU, and

like over and over and we just watched like binge watch that and that's our idea of like a romantic night okay but so you create this night where you got some law and order on you got some food on maybe you're wearing something that's a little frisky you got the cat in the cat room human hair everything's going good and right at the peak of the night you say you know there's something you could do for me

And he says, what is it? You know what I love about Angelica? Every time there's a pitch, she's like, oh. Even when we're both like, I don't know where this is going. She's like, that's good. Very supportive. Very supportive. Because what Jake is pitching is a way to give your husband, to edge your husband with your weird hair dolls. Yes. What I'm trying to get to is a really nice moment when you're in a really good zone and then you say, this would mean a lot to me.

You know what we could also do? We could make a little video for him. Yeah. And we could do it as Babydoll and Little Weird Guy. And the video. Oh, you know what we could do? We could just have a video of Babydoll and Little Weird Guy, them, and we're doing the voices. Oh. And we go back and forth? Yes. But like, it's just the whole clip he gets is not you and me. It's them two. Yes.

Should we do that? Yes. And then would you send that to him? Cause all we're trying to do is we're yeah. Can, can you even get it? So it's just those two. Cause that's baby doll. And.

Well, that's not a little weird guy, but who are you there? You're definitely the ginger. What's your name? I don't know. Ginger picnic. Ginger picnic. Cause it looks like it's wearing a picnic. You're ginger picnic. And what did you call me again? Fat little baby or something. I think big, I think big fat baby. I think big fat baby. Big fat baby works. I mean, just to be fair, this baby has Chernobyl head. Yeah. So here's what we're going to do.

You're going to say, I would like you to watch. I mean, the smell on these dolls has, I mean, just seeing them up close. I'm going to mail them to you. I think. You keep these things the fuck away from me. Do you understand me? Angie, I'm with you. I like the dolls. I can just send you your little ginger baby. Yeah, a little ginger picnic.

Okay, Gareth, let's do this. We are talking to Austin. We're talking to Austin, and the point is we're trying to get Austin to understand that it's time that we get out of the basement, we hang on the wall. In the cat room, right? In the cat room. Is that correct, Andrew? Okay. Actually, instead of saying cat room, can you just say Gio's room? Sure. Gio. Gio, yeah, that's my cat. Okay. Gareth in three, in two. Austin! Austin. Hi! Hi. Hi.

It's remember us from the basement. Hi, Austin. It's big fat baby and ginger picnic. And boy, oh boy, we're tired is hiding in the shadows downstairs. Hey, ginger picnic. Remember when we lived in that abandoned house? Yeah. Yeah. We were in the wall and then Angelica's dad found us. But now, now we're in the basement. We hear the band. And we hear the band. We,

We are not cursed. We don't bring curses just because we were found in the walls of a condemned home. Doesn't matter. My neck hurts. Yeah, I bet both of our necks hurt because they are. Can't breathe. We are really trapped in here. Anyway, we want to go into Gio's room. Please.

Please let us. Hey, Austin. Yeah. Please hang us on Gio's wall. Won't hurt you. Austin, no. Come on now, big fat babies. No need to turn it violent. We have no interest in affecting you or your lovely wife, Austin. Hey, Austin. Don't cut the neck because then we come out and play at night. Get you. Listen, let's keep it. Let's keep it to our talking points. And by the way, we smell for sure. But in Gio's room, it'll just smell like cats.

Just leave the plexiglass where it is. Mike, come here in the nighttime. It's three in the morning. Cut my neck free. Stop it.

Stay on track. So, Austin, please put us in Gio's room. It would make Angelica very happy and it won't matter much because your cat has a room. Things have to be going pretty good. I love you, Austin. All right. Can we cut baby's mic? This is crazy. Can we hang on the wall? Bye. In Gio's room. Thanks, Austin. We wish you the best. Angie, what do you think? Will you try to send that and see what he says and then maybe we can have him on the

Yeah, no, that was incredible. I love that. He's going to be so happy. Okay. So here's what I think. Here's what I think could happen.

I think it could be a fun thing for him. It's a weird thing. He's watching a video. It's a super strange night. And then because of the memory of it, you could go, but can I really hang it on Gio's wall? Why don't we just try it? Why don't you have it? Why don't you have it in the living room? And then that'll prompt this conversation. And you could show him the video of ginger picnic and big fat baby, who I think is a real, I made a mistake there.

It was just so funny to see them and hear our voices. Seeing them was a problem for me. Seeing them has been a problem for me. I'm not kidding. I'll never forget them. And that's not okay. So, Angie, will you follow up with us of how it goes? Yeah, of course. Because we can get you this clip of just Ginger Picnic and Big Fat Baby. We'll just get you the audio of that. Maybe play it for them.

and get his take and see what's happened. I think if you say after that video, I know that was really weird. I would really like it on Gio's wall. Can you please just let me do that? If I'm him, I have to say yes. Yeah, you've called in a show. I mean, you definitely, I think it adds a bit of seriousness to all of, even though, again, Big Fat Baby was out of line. Hot Mouth, what do you got over there?

I'm tired from laughing so hard. I think it's going to work. This was incredible. Are you going to do it, Andrew?

I'm so just having a great time right now. Great. So we're going to get to this video and let's win here. Yep. Show them the video and then let us know how it goes. Okay. And what I would really love is after you show them the video, take a photo of it on the wall in Gio's room so that that's part of the victory and then hopefully we'll do a follow-up with you. Yep. Perfect. I love that. All right. Thank you, buddy. All right. Thanks. Appreciate it. Thank you.

I want to go by Sarah. You go by Sarah? Hello? You go by Sarah? No! What the hell is going on here? Okay, here's what's going on. So, we... I was calling the first time because my best friend was having a Spider-Man themed bachelorette party. Ah. Yes, and during the podcast, the first time, you guys kept calling her Sarah, but her name is Camara. Ah.

Then you awkwardly answered the phone as we were having that conversation. Oh, this was the Spider-Man. This is the Spider-Man one where I was going to dress up like the Green Goblin. Yes. And Gareth is going to go.

And this resolution should be I've heard some of this resolution because this was a Chattanooga. Yes, it was. What was your name again? I'm sorry. Is it not Sarah or Camara? I'll tell you that. It's Abby. Abby. I knew it started with an A. OK. And so I was going to do it. And then I ended up basically having to leave right after the show, like rush out of there.

And so I came up with a contingency. So why don't you take over, Abby, and tell the fellas what happened here? Yeah, for sure. So we actually watched you run to your Uber. So that was pretty entertaining. Hold on, Abby. Abby. Yeah. What does that mean? I'm asking him if there's a follow up. He ran out of the comedy club to an Uber. Well, the show was over, right? There's nothing funny about that.

And we were sitting in the street waiting for the bar to open. And out of nowhere, Gareth just sprints to the car. It was like his hands were on fire. I had to go. Where? I had to. It's a long, crazy story. But basically, I had to take a red eye. Oh, so you had to get to the. So you finished the show and you had to sprint to the Uber. I had to wrap the show up a little earlier than usual and I get moving. Yeah. OK. So you saw him run to an Uber.

Yeah, we saw him run to the Uber and we were like, you know, bye, Garrett. And then the bar opened. Across the street. So they go to the bar. So the bar where the bachelor party was was literally across the street from the comedy club. Correct. Yes, it was. Walking distance. It was great. So you ladies went and saw the stand-up show?

We did, and it was great. 10-10 recommends for anybody who's listening. Gareth is traveling. Go to his show. GarethReynolds.com. See the man live. That's right. Just wrapped up a tour. By the way, that was at the Comedy Catch in Chattanooga, and it was a lot of fun. It was really fun. And if you're thinking of talking to him after, be careful because he will sprint to an Uber. I got to run. I don't have time. It's true. I'm like a beetle.

So he finishes the show. And then what happened with the bachelorette party? I remember the, the original call was, uh,

Having a bachelorette party, Spider-Man theme, Gareth was going to say if he can, he was going to go as one of the characters. Right. And Gareth did agree. He had fully planned on being there, which Gareth even bought. I had bought a Green Goblin outfit. Incredible. So I had the outfit ready to go, but then plans changed.

But that's the best part of the story, honestly, because we go to the bar, right? And we still have our bachelorette party planned. We're still hanging out with our friends. The bar opened up just for us. And so it was Spider-Man themed. It was wonderful. And then out of nowhere, Gareth's opener, Luke, comes in and Gareth's Green Goblin opens.

Did you this? So this was planned, Garrett? Yes, this was the contingency plan. Now, my Green Goblin size, I think, was a medium. There was not enough time to adjust. Do you have any pictures of it, Abby? Yeah, we have footage. OK, OK, great. OK, here we go. Here's Tamara. Oh, I thought that was Luke. That's not Luke, no.

There we go. There's Luke. Hey! There's Luke. And behind the outfit, Luke couldn't zip it up necessarily, but he looks great. Can you just keep playing it? Yeah, yeah. So this will be on the YouTube, but there's a really fun-looking party going on. There's not a lot of people in that bar, I'll tell you that. No, they kind of... And they open just for them. Luke is dancing as the Green Goblin. There's beer pong. There's

This is just hysterical. Okay. Shots. So she's having a lot of fun, obviously. I mean, she seems loaded. He's having the time of her life. Luke drinking a shot through the green goblin mouth hole. All right, good for Luke. So this feels like a real win.

It was a real win. Did you get to the part yet where Luke did the split? Yes, we saw that. Yeah, but that explains why he went to the hospital that night. I didn't understand that until just now. And so, Abby, it sounds like the Bachelorette Spider-Man theme, who knows that could have been Gareth that has a mask on. So like every true superhero, they run off and then they appear. I got to tell you something. There is no Luke.

Gareth is also the opener. That's right. Whoa. I do both. Yeah. So it was Gareth at your thing. We accomplished the thing. Yep. We landed the plane. Yes. Abby, tell us how you're feeling about this one.

You know, I feel so good that I think we're actually going to throw her a second one in Nashville. That's how good I feel. What? Excuse me? Is that allowed? Two bachelorette parties? Did she already get married and divorced? Who makes the rules? Why can't we have two bachelorette parties? I respect that. She's a doctor. She's gone through so much. She deserves that two bachelorette parties.

Okay. That sounds great. Gareth, are you available for the one in Nashville? No, but I believe my opener, who's not real, Luke Simmons, is available. So we can have him do it. What's his website?

I don't know if he has one. I think he's Luke H. Simmons on Instagram. So if you're looking for a new Green Goblin, you got it. Abby, we appreciate the call. Yes. I'm glad it worked out. It seems like it worked out great. It was so fun. You guys gave the best advice. It was a great time. I love it. We appreciate the call. All the best to you. You too. Bye, guys. Thanks, Abby. Bye. Bye. Bye.

We're Here to Help is hosted by Jake Johnson and Gareth Reynolds. The show is produced and edited by Kevin Bartelt and the associate producer and editor is AJ McKeon. Our social media director is Caitlin Tanwakio and our video editor is John DeBruyne. The theme song is made by Oliver Raleigh and you can check out his music at OliverRaleigh.com. That's Oliver R-A-L-L-I dot com.

The album artwork is by James Fosdyke. You can find him on Instagram at James underscore Fosdyke, D-I-K-E. And if you'd like to see me do stand up on the road, go to GarethReynolds.com. Additional artwork by Patty Holland. You can find him on Instagram at P-A-D-D-Y Holland 2004. And if you'd like early access to episodes, subscribe to our Patreon at patreon.com slash here to help pod. And if you'd like to be on the show, email us your question at helpfulpod at gmail.com.

All of the advice given on We're Here to Help is for entertainment purposes only, and all listeners should be adults and make their own decisions.