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cover of episode Esther Calling - Esther says "Run!"

Esther Calling - Esther says "Run!"

2025/6/23
logo of podcast Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
C
Caller
个人财务专家和广播主持人,通过多种媒体平台提供实用的财务建议和债务管理策略。
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Esther
Topics
Caller: 我和我的男朋友在一起四个月了,他要求我删除所有前男友的联系方式,这让我感到非常困扰。虽然我爱他,也想和他共度一生,但我无法接受他这种控制欲。他因为我的过去而感到不安全,认为我会背叛他,这让我感到非常委屈。更复杂的是,他实际上已婚,并且有一个孩子,他们的婚姻是出于经济原因,但他仍然和他的妻子保持着紧密的联系。我感觉自己被困在一个不对等的关系中,他可以和他的妻子保持联系,但我却不能和我的前男友保持友谊。我开始怀疑,我是否为了摆脱孤独而自愿进入了一个牢笼。 Esther Perel: 你正面临着一个复杂的情况,你的男朋友对你提出了很多条件,包括要你改变自己来适应他的不安全感。他一方面要求你绝对忠诚,另一方面他自己却身处一段婚外情中。这种关系存在着深刻的不对称性,你所知道的一切都只是他告诉你的。你正在逃离自己的生活,跳入别人的生活,放弃自己的故事。你渴望被照顾,以至于看不到潜在的危险。他用虚假的保证来让你安心,但实际上你正在进入一个泥潭。你离开南非,环游世界,不是为了给自己创造另一个牢笼。你喜欢他,但这并不意味着你需要和他共度一生。他提出这种要求,并且不认为这有什么问题,这是一个很大的危险信号。你即将和四个你不了解的人一起生活几十年,这是一个大胆的要求。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A South African woman living in Mexico describes her relationship challenges with her Mexican boyfriend. Cultural differences and his possessiveness, particularly regarding her past relationships, create conflict. She seeks advice on how to communicate her concerns and address the issues.
  • Cultural differences in relationship dynamics between Mexican and South African cultures.
  • Possessiveness and control issues in the relationship.
  • Differences in communication styles and conflict resolution approaches.

Shownotes Transcript

Does loving him come with a price? After four months of dating, he’s asking her to cut ties with all of her exes. Is this a sign of love and commitment—or a red flag? In this episode, Esther unpacks the deeper dynamics at play: boundaries, control, trust, and the stories we tell ourselves about loyalty. Esther challenges the caller to consider what she may be giving up in the name of love—and what it might cost her in the long run.

Topic: Dating & Romantic Consumerism

Esther Callings are a one time, 45-60 minute interventional phone call with Esther. They are edited for time, clarity, and anonymity. If you have a question you would like to talk through with Esther, send a voice memo to [email protected].

Want to learn more? Receive monthly insights, musings, and recommendations to improve your relational intelligence via email from Esther: https://www.estherperel.com/newsletter

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