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Esther Calling - Stuck In the Middle
2022/6/2
Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel
E
Esther Perel
听
听众
无足够信息构建个人资料
Esther Perel：来电者面临两难境地，一方面想在友谊中设定界限，避免被朋友之间关系问题的负面情绪影响；另一方面又担心设定界限会损害友谊的亲密性。Esther Perel 通过引导来电者探索其自身行为模式的根源，指出其长期以来扮演着倾听者和调解者的角色，这与童年时期家庭环境中可能形成的模式有关。她鼓励来电者认识到自己不需要为朋友的关系负责，并建议他学习如何设定界限，保护自身情绪健康，同时维持友谊。她指出，来电者将朋友关系的波动内化到自身情绪中，导致其自身情绪也随之波动。她建议来电者关注自身身体反应，及时表达感受，避免过度承担朋友关系的压力。
听众：来电者讲述了他与一对朋友的关系，这对朋友的关系不稳定，时好时坏，而他作为双方的朋友，经常被卷入他们的矛盾中，感到身心俱疲。他希望能够设置界限，避免卷入朋友的矛盾，但又不想失去与他们的亲密关系。他承认自己是一个非常有同理心的人，很容易被朋友的矛盾所影响。他从小到大都扮演着倾听者和 confidant 的角色，这与他的家庭环境有关。他意识到他扮演 confidant 的角色是为了避免被抛弃。他尝试向朋友们表达自己的感受，但效果不佳。他希望能够找到一种平衡点，既能倾听朋友的诉说，又不至于被他们的矛盾所困扰。他意识到自己需要改变，并开始尝试关注自己的反应，及时设定界限。
Esther Perel: The caller is in a difficult situation. They want to set boundaries in their friendships to avoid being negatively affected by their friends' relationship problems, but they also worry that setting boundaries will damage the intimacy of the friendship. Esther Perel guides the caller to explore the roots of their behavior patterns, pointing out that they have long played the role of listener and mediator, which may be related to patterns formed in their childhood family environment. She encourages the caller to realize that they don't need to be responsible for their friends' relationship and advises them to learn how to set boundaries, protect their emotional health, and maintain friendships at the same time. She points out that the caller internalizes the fluctuations in their friends' relationship into their own emotions, causing their own emotions to fluctuate accordingly. She advises the caller to pay attention to their physical reactions, express their feelings in a timely manner, and avoid taking on too much pressure from their friends' relationships.
Deep Dive
A listener seeks advice on setting boundaries with friends who frequently confide in him about their relationship issues, wondering if doing so might damage the friendships.
Shownotes Transcript