Digging Deeper to Find Your Why w/ Olori Swank
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can't bless who you pretend to be or who you compare yourself to he can only bless you and the lane that was created for you I feel that for somebody you don't need no edge entity you need boundaries what I don't need your likes I don't need your validation all I need is a God fighting for me that says all things are the same

Hi. Thank you for doing this with me. Thank you for having me. I feel like I know you because of Instagram and social media. It's nice to be here. It's nice to finally meet you. You too. You are like a phenomenon. Thank you. Did you know that about yourself? Yes, but to hear it come from someone as amazing as you is always a compliment. When did you realize that you...

that you were working with something that was bigger than maybe you realized or maybe you always realized? Well, it's weird. Sometimes I feel like I'm this larger than life person. But then other times I feel like I'm a very, very normal, I'm just like everybody else person. So I think it takes other people kind of telling me like, oh, you're this and you're that.

For me to really sit in it, because a lot of times I don't want to think about that. I feel like when you start feeling like you've arrived, you don't keep driving. Yeah. And I constantly want to keep going and getting better. And so I don't like to live in the moment of, oh, my God, you're this or you accomplish this. I'm always thinking about how I can be better, how I can project better.

to everyone else for them to be better and not so much think about myself all the time. Yeah, that makes sense. So like at what point did you realize like things are shifting for me? Like if people aren't familiar with your story, like I know you now, but I don't know what it cost you to be who you are now. So like tell me like what is your story?

Okay. Um, I started off, well, I want to start my story at the University of Georgia. So I'm at the University of Georgia. I'm going to school all year round because I probably from the age of two had always said that I was going to be a neurosurgeon. Like I'm going to be a brain surgeon. I'm going to be a doctor.

I didn't have any other careers that I wanted to chase. I just always knew. And so when I was at UGA, that's what I was studying for. And I wanted to get multiple degrees at the same time. So in order for me to do that, I had to go to school all year round. So I never took a summer off.

I graduated and when I graduated, I said, you know what? I have all these degrees. I've been in school this entire time. Before I go to med school, I'm taking a year off. I'm not going to do nothing. I'm not going to study. I'm not going to do any coursework. Like I'm literally just going to take a year and just hang out. And so I moved from Athens to Atlanta, which I'm originally from, and got an apartment and was literally just hanging out.

I realize now that what I was doing was networking, which a lot of people don't realize that you don't have to be at a networking event to be networking. You're always networking. So I'm networking. I'm meeting people. One day I meet the VP of A&R for Jive Records and he says, I want you to style my artists. And the first thing I said to him was, I don't do hair.

I didn't even know what a stylist was. Like, I didn't know that was a job. I didn't know people got paid for that. And so he says, dress her how you dress and we'll be fine. So I'm like, okay. I,

I left the conversation thinking I was doing someone a favor. I still didn't think it was a job. I still didn't think I was being offered some opportunity. Until like an hour later, the accounting department at Sony BMG, which owns Jive Records, they called my phone. And they're like, we need your EIN number. We need to know where we're wiring this budget to. Can you send us an invoice? All these things I've never heard of. I'm fresh out of college. I'm like...

I don't know what these numbers mean, these acronyms. But I told the lady, I said, I'm in the middle of something. I'll give you a call back in an hour. And in that hour, me and Google were BFF. I was looking up every single possible thing I could find on how to be a stylist. I didn't even know what to charge at the time. Like little things like that. I had no idea. I just kind of had to figure it out.

So long story short, I end up creating an entire business in seven days. Like I had everything from I'd filed my articles of incorporation to get my LLC together. I had a business bank account and a P.O. box. Like I was a fish in the water. That is like, yeah. Me and Google.

We figured it out. And I've been styling ever since then. I don't want to make it seem like it's been this easy trajectory for me, like stuff just kind of took off. I had to figure it out. And my first client was a major artist on a major label. And after that, it's like, OK, what do you do next? Like, how do you run a business? How do you get more clients?

So I almost had to take a step back and actually learn the business. I had to test with certain people, which test basically means work for free to get my portfolio together and all this other stuff. And as my business started growing and as I started working harder, more consistently,

I started to build this kind of brand and people started following me. And like, I would be somewhere and someone would say, oh my God, I know you're following you on Twitter. And I'm like, it was all weird to me. I'm like, how do you know who I am? Oh, I just love you. And so it took a while for me to really realize that my brand was growing. I think this was also before Instagram was even a thing. So everybody was really just on Twitter at this point.

But as I started to realize the impact I was having on other people and how I was inspiring other people, I started taking my branding more seriously. I started being more open on social media, showing people behind the scenes like it's not just glitz and glam, like you actually have to work at this. And yeah.

Now we're here. How did you overcome feeling like you did not have what it took? Because so many people tell me like, you know, I want to start a business. I want to do this. I want to do that. But I don't know where to start. I don't have any mentors. There aren't any people in my life who are going to be able to help me. And so I'm stagnant, but I really want to be moving. But you kind of like self-motivated yourself into action. Yeah.

For me, I think I've always been someone that just goes for it. Like I'll do it scared. I'll do it broke. I'll do it like I just I'm a solutions based person. I'm going to figure it out. Worst case scenario, I'm a try, fail, cry, pray and then try again. So I've just always been that person. And so when this opportunity came to me.

I just kind of went for it. And then on top of that, I also didn't even see it as what it was to begin with. I really thought I was doing someone a favor. And by the time I was in it, because I don't like to quit, I'm like, I'm just going to figure it out. What's the worst that could happen? I either learn something or I learn something. And so I just went for it.

See, I'm totally that way. Like, even if that means I'm, like, in over my head and some things, I mean, that's all right. I'm going to learn how to swim on a deeper level. It's fine. I'm fine. Water is coming out of my lungs and everything. I'll be fine. But I just wonder, is there anything in your life that you don't just go for the way that you do everything else? Because I have found that sometimes we have that momentum in certain areas of our life. Right, and then not in others. Yes. Oh, this is getting deep. Yeah.

You know what? Maybe entrusting people. Mm-hmm. I think sometimes because I'm very... I'm super genuine. Mm-hmm.

I don't like to lie. Like my dad taught me at a really, really young age. He's like, you know what? If whatever you are, be that and tell people you're that. Like, don't lie. Just be who you are. And I think growing up, I've come across so many people who weren't as genuine as me. And I was naive for a long time. Like if people say, oh, I'm this way or I do this, I'm like, oh, you know, people don't lie. And as I got older, I think...

Maybe now I'm not as trusting of people. So I kind of it's like I'm like this anti-social socialite. Like I love everybody. I'm spreading off good energy to everyone. But to really, really let people deep into my space. I'm like, I created this amazing bubble for myself and I don't want nobody to come in and start.

stuff up and breaking things and moving things around. I did this whole podcast about how we build walls when I think we should build gates.

which means that we still have this distance between ourselves and other people. But there's also like a keypad, like an access code. And when you speak the same language that I speak or we share the same vision about, you know, life, love, God, then I'm able to let you closer into that. So I'm able to qualify and not just block everyone out because like I don't want to make this deep, but like I just see like where the conversation flows.

But like, I think that so many women have been able to become successful, but they're also very closed down within. And so I my goal is to represent like this leather lace kind of community where I'm leather like I can get.

things done me and google can figure out how to start a business but i'm also laced and i have this vulnerability and this sensitivity and i don't think that our world celebrates vulnerability and sensitivity a lot doesn't but it's the only way that i feel that we can experience inner growth i love that leather and lace leather and lace yeah that's dope yeah so where's your lace right um

I think that's something that I'm definitely going to work on. I think this conversation alone has inspired me to want to find the balance and destroy the wall and build a gate. I like that. That's it, y'all. Yeah. I like that.

I've had to work on that, like, even within my own marriage. And I think for me, it really rooted from this idea of, like, not wanting to be criticized ever. Because I was always just kind of, like, throwing spaghetti on the wall to see if it would stick, you know? So everything I did was just, like, me trying something. And as I got married and allowed my husband, like, into my heart and into my space, he would ask me questions like, well, why do you do that? And I would...

become defensive because I've been on the defense my entire life and I think that in order to let him in I had to be willing to not see his questioning as criticism

And to also see that I am better when I have other perspectives. And I think that's the other reason why we have to let people in. It's like sometimes we, not sometimes, when the right people are in our life, we have a better worldview and perspective. But it's just so challenging when you've been hurt or disappointed by people in the past.

That wasn't a question. It was just me talking. It's good. And I agree. I agree with that. I definitely think we need other people's perspectives. We can't see all angles. Yeah. So we kind of need people to have our back. And it's hard when you've won, though, because you're like, I saw enough of them angles. Yeah, you know.

Yeah, I may have missed something, but I still made it to the other side. But we can always be better. Yeah. What do you think is like the greatest lesson you have learned from the beginning stages of your career to now the one greatest, probably most consistent lesson that you've learned?

Self-discipline is everything and consistency is vital. A lot of times when people don't make it to where they want to be, it's not because they're not as smart as the person next to them or as rich as the person next to them. It's because they're lacking an element of self-discipline, in my opinion.

I know that there's been times in my life where I'm like, I should be doing so much more. I should be doing better. And when I dig down into the root of my issue, it's that I wasn't disciplined in what I was doing or I wasn't being consistent. And I find that a lot of times if you don't really check that and acknowledge that it'll cause you to want to be jealous or envious or frustrated.

bitter when it comes to other people. And I think I tweeted something the other day where I was just like, you can't have what you won't build. And in order for you to really, really build something solid and to have what you want, you have to have the self-discipline to work on the days that you don't want to work, be ethical in times where you could easily be doing something else. Like, I think a lot revolves around just being disciplined.

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figuring out my why really really helps a lot and why is never money like no one should ever be motivated by money I

like you get to a point where money doesn't even motivate you if initially it did and so I think that being motivated by money is is a terrible why but if you find a deeper why like I want to leave a legacy for my family or I want to inspire community I want to show little black girls that they can do it too things like that will keep you going on the days that you don't want to go like my

Instagram my Twitter the days I don't want to do anything I'm like there is some girl who literally is getting ready to give up on herself who hasn't yet because she's watching me I owe it to her to get my butt up right now yeah and do what I need to do to help

Like when you start to see things as being bigger than you, it helps you to do what you need to do on the days you don't want to do it. Yeah. Have you had any difficulties like connecting with mentors or other women just even like on a lateral phase as you're building your business? For me, when it comes to mentors, I have this belief that I don't even have to know somebody in order for them to mentor me.

That is an underrated belief. Yeah, like I don't need your permission for you to be my mentor. If I see something in you that I love, I will immerse myself in everything you have to offer. I will buy your books. I will listen to your podcast. I will watch your YouTube channel. I will attend your seminars. Like to me, that is mentorship. And so when people are like, oh, I can't find

to mentor. I'm like, sis, pick a person. And there's so many people now who are offering so much insight and so much information. You don't need their permission to be mentored by them. So, and I don't feel like that really answered your question directly, but indirectly, I haven't really been

seeking out too many people to say, oh, well, this person rejected my advances. Like, if I want you to mentor me, you're going to mentor me whether you know it or not. Right. So that is really, I think that's going to help so many women because I think a lot of times people want a mentor, but

I think what they're really asking for is counseling because you want like my personal opinion about your situation. But like we've got books, I've got videos, I've got all of these different resources that can help you with the question that you have. But I think it's like that personal touch that people want. But I have been mentored like you just made me realize I have been mentored by so many people who don't know that they have mentored me. Who's your greatest mentor?

Right now, like today, I would say it's this guy named Grant Cardone. I don't know how I discovered this man, how I found him. Maybe I was reading something in the middle of the night, but he had this book title that just kind of struck me. It's Be Obsessed or Be Average. And I was like, wow, that's an interesting book title. So I got it on audiobooks. And within maybe the first...

five or six minutes of listening to this man talk, I literally was obsessed. I'm like, he's going after it. He's relentless. And so I listened to that book after I was done with that one. I got another book from him. I started following him on Twitter, watching his YouTube. He's like 60. The man doesn't sleep. He bought a jet. Like,

It just it's insane. And I love his work ethic and his tenacity. I love that he doesn't take no for an answer. Like it's just a lot about him that I love. So right now I would say he's my greatest mentor. So be obsessed or be average. When do you get rest?

I rest all the time though. How? Like, because, so here's my thing. I set up so many systems in my business that a lot of it is able to run on autopilot. So from the beginning,

I was always like, I need systems in place so that my business is not just me. If I get hit by a bus tomorrow, God forbid, I need this thing to still run. And so I build in different ways to kind of remove myself from the business, even when I'm not ready to be removed from it. So when I want to take a break, I can easily just turn on the autopilot and just chill. And we need to talk about this. Okay.

You just spoke a word in my life. I got systems for everything. Like I'm constantly thinking about systems. Like I'm a nerd. So like strategy. I mean, all of my classes in college were science based. I was always experimenting. I was always in a lab. And so I'm constantly like that in my business. I'm like, OK, I wonder if I switch this and I start doing it this way. What will that do? And so I'm preparing myself before the day comes that I'm like, OK, I can't be here today.

That is rich. You just preached a word, a real word. I rest all the time. People think I don't sleep. I'm like, y'all, I took a six-month vacation one time and nobody even had an idea. Like, I did not work for six months. I was just chilling. Listen. Okay. Okay.

All right. So you said something, though, about like all of your classes being science and how that's kind of helped you with your business. Yeah. Now, some people would say like you went to school. You're not even in the medical field. But, you know, was that a waste of time? But I have.

found that God uses everything and so God used that even as you're building a career that seems completely unrelated however it's tied together like what would you say to a woman who feels like I feel called in a different direction than what I have prepared for and I feel like I've wasted time or money or resources so I have to stick to this instead of pursuing my passion

I think that the world tricks us into thinking we're only allowed to have one passion or one purpose. I think at different phases of your life, you're allowed to do different things. And if you acknowledge that in this moment, my passion and my purpose and my focus was medicine, but right now it's not. I think you can easily transition to something else. We all owe it to ourselves to try more than one thing.

I don't think I wasted any time in school. I think that everything that I learned is super valuable, whether I'm using it right now or not. I don't believe in wasted knowledge. I think you should learn as much as you can about as many things as you can. So I don't look at it like I wasted time. I just look at it like I've acquired more knowledge from my knowledge bank.

And if you look at things that way, it helps you transition into different things because you're just constantly learning. Yeah.

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if you text my promo code evolve to 22433. Don't wait download abide sleep and pray meditation today and text my promo code evolve to 22433 today to get 25% off you like everything you say you present was like such confidence and authority. That's a gift. Thanks. Have you always been that way? Maybe when I was younger? Yes. Um,

Middle school, high school, you know, you go through the whole bully phase. Like I was bullied. Really? Yes. Why? I want to say, well, of course, the whole dark skin thing. I think every dark skin girl goes through that. Being dark skin, my parents are African. So you get the African jokes.

I didn't have the coolest clothes because my parents were very all about like, you're going to school to learn. It's not a fashion show. Like you go be in your books. You come home, which, you know, causes kids to bully you and stuff like that. So middle school and high school was a very weird phase for me. I was like the super lame kid. And then I got to college and I feel like on the first day, everybody was like, oh, my God, you're so cool. And I'm like, oh, my God.

Oh, thanks. And I just kind of owned it. So it was like a little wave, I would say. Well, I admire your confidence. I feel like I'm like just coming into like my confidence and authority. Really? Yes. I would never have guessed that. For sure. I would never have guessed that ever. Yeah. Yeah.

I'm like learning to be more comfortable in my own skin and in my path and in my journey. I would say like within the last year, I've really become like super, super comfortable in wherever my, you know, story or journey takes me. But it took me like a lot of work to get there. So when I see other women, like it's inspiring for me to see you like own your own your voice like that. Thanks. I have a question for you. It's kind of random. Okay.

But because you mentioned that your parents were African, I'm just going to ask you, like, so we had this whole Wakanda, Black Panther phase. Yes. Where all of us wanted to go back to the motherland. But I was like, we went cool to God two years ago. What, like, what has that been like? Because you're right. Like, I feel like this pride.

at a time when it was necessary in the African-American culture where a sense of identity was really something that we were looking for. But you've grown up in the culture. I mean, your parents being African, like what was that like for you? Being African, they have certain values that I think are lost in the African-American community. For sure. I think the sense of

strong, super, super strong sense of family in the African community is a little different from the African American community. I remember growing up, me, I'm the oldest of three siblings. So I have a younger brother and a younger sister. And me and my younger brother would go at it. I'm talking about, we was breaking stuff in the house, fighting, just going crazy. But my dad and my mom, they always said, when you step outside of this house, you're

we don't care what happened in this house. You guys are a family. No one should ever know that five seconds ago you was trying to stab him with a fork. And we would literally walk outside of the house and you can't say nothing to me about my brother. We're very protective of each other. And I feel like growing up watching other families, I'm like, are they really just going to go against each other?

that in front of all of us like we're outside like what are you doing I think that would be the biggest one for me the Wakanda thing

It was kind of fun for me, honestly, because I feel like when people would think about Africa in the past, it was always like thoughts of poverty and all these things that were like kind of incorrect. I'm like, I feel like Wakanda gave people African-Americans, Africans. It gave them a sense of pride. Mm hmm.

For Africa, basically. When in the past, being from Africa was like, oh my God, do you guys have houses? Do you live in huts? And it's like, there's some pretty big houses in Africa. It's amazing. And seeing the whole Wakanda movement and how...

proud everybody was. I personally thought it was dope. I liked it. I'm like, great. Like now all us black people can come together and be happy and have pride and feel like we have culture because I think culture is important. Culture is so important. Yeah. And I think that for me as an African-American, like we've I've always felt like I was just like on the outside looking into the African experience.

with like no insight about like my ancestry and history and like where I was from. So I think that's cool. They say that African parents like really care a lot about education. Did your parents care when you went from I'm going to be a neurosurgeon to I'm going to be a stylist? What was that like? Okay, so African parents really only believe in like a handful of jobs. You're either a doctor, a lawyer, an engineer, an architect, whatever.

And sometimes a teacher. Anything outside of that is not a real job. It's just like that. That's not a job. So when I first decided I was pursuing fashion styling, I actually didn't think I would be doing it for as long as I was doing it. I thought, you know, I'm taking my year off, which my parents are cool with because I graduated with honors, like went to school on a full academic scholarship. Y'all don't owe nobody no money on my behalf. Like, let me have my year. And they were cool with it.

And as the year ended, my dad was like, so you going to school next semester? And I just kept saying next semester. And I said next semester to the point where I was like, I'm not going back. And having the conversation with him, I remember just being in his living room or something and him being like, so like you've been saying next semester. And I'm like, look, I'm not going back.

That's that. And I know you want me to go because you want me to have a stable job and you want me to have an income and be able to support myself. Here's my bank statements. I make more money than a doctor. You can leave me alone. Like literally. And he was just like, oh, but I was not expecting it to go that way at all. But I think mentally I had prepared myself. I knew what he was going to be coming at me with. And before he could even toss all of that onto me, I was just like, here's the facts.

you can leave me alone now and now they're like my biggest fans I have them blocked on Instagram and all of that stuff they still find ways to go why are they blocked on your Instagram because I don't want my daddy in my comments like ooh no I'm good don't come over here talking about some yes go stay at home stay off

So you had to build your confidence in what you were doing before you could go against the grain of what everyone else wanted you to do. Yeah, I did. And I had to prove to myself that I could do it. And on top of I can do it, I had to prove to myself that I would be committed to it. Because before that, I mean, I was trying a bunch of things. I'm like, OK, you know, maybe I can be an event planner. And I'm like, OK.

nah, I don't think I really like this. Like, and it's hard for you to justify that, especially to a parent, if you're not committed and if you haven't decided to be committed to that thing. And you just knew because how did you know that that was the thing you were going to stick with? Because I wanted to do it for free. Mm-hmm.

I didn't want to go to sleep because I felt like I was missing out on being able to do it. Like it made me feel more alive. Whereas other things felt draining and tiring. And like today people are like, when's your next vacation? And I'm like, I don't

want to take a vacation. Like, why do I have, I feel like I'm being forced into taking vacations. I'm like, I don't want to take a vacation because I might miss something over here. And this is what makes me feel happy right now. And when I realized that there was something that existed that could make me feel this way, I'm like, Oh, this is my thing. I don't leave tired. I can be on set for 23 hours straight and

still be pumped and ready to go the next day. Like, I'm so happy to be here. Like, this is a blessing. This is an honor. Whereas other things I can be at for 30 minutes and I'm just over it. I'm like, I'm ready to go mentally. I'm drained. I'm tired. Um,

And so I think the way I figured it out, if something makes me feel alive and happy, that's my thing. Yeah. That's your purpose. Well, your purpose for this season. Yeah. So tell me, like, what are all your current purposes? Because I know you're not just a stylist. What all do you do?

Okay. So, Lord. All right. Fashion styling. I've written some books. I'm so excited about my latest book, though. My children's book. Because all these parents keep sending me videos and pictures of their daughters reading this book. I wish I had one with me. I meant to bring mine because the girls are theirs. I have one, but it's fine. So, the book for me is great because...

I wanted to inspire young girls to follow their dreams because I think...

As adults, we kind of kill kids dreams without realizing that we're doing it. We kind of put fear on them. Like, don't go there. Don't touch that. I'm like, and so they grow up just kind of shriveling a little bit. But I wanted them to have this book in their language that they can understand. Like, you can be who you want to be. You can do what you want to do. I teach workshops for people who want to create and develop their e-commerce businesses, make passive income.

Lord, I do the most. The most. I do the most. But those are those are my big ones right now. What is self-care look like for you in this journey?

I think self-care is what I want it to be that day. So if I want to go to the spa today and call that my self-care, then that's self-care. If I want to read a book and sip some tea, that's self-care. If I want to have a conversation with my mom or go to brunch with my friends, like that's self-care. I think self-care is just being aware of yourself and what you need at that point in time.

I'm working on my self-care game. It's it's struggles a bit. I think is it because you pour into other people so much that you forget about you?

I mean, probably because I just want to see like everyone be well and when everyone is well, then I feel like, yeah. Yeah. But then sometimes not everyone gets well at the same time. And then it just becomes a thing. So I'm like working on that. And I feel like because I have so many responsibilities that I just want to like see everything be tight. Yeah. Yeah.

I had a phase like that at one point, but I realized I can't pour from an empty cup. And if I try to pour from an empty cup, I'm doing a disservice to the people I'm pouring into. So that's how I fixed that. So that's how you made it your life. Okay, so one last question, then I will leave you alone. Okay. If you could go back and tell yourself in...

Gosh, that high school, middle school, awkward stage, something that you know now, what would it be? And I'm going to put a B question in there. What would you hope that yourself 10 years from now remembers?

Let's go back and go forward. Okay. If I had to go back and tell myself something, I would probably say live in the moment and don't stress out so much about the future. And then 10 years from now,

I hope I remember the deeper purpose of everything that I'm doing. What is the deeper purpose of everything you're doing? To make the world better. To really help other people who can't help themselves. Yeah.

I don't think that anyone's life is complete until they see it connected to every other life that's on this planet. And I think you just treat people differently and you handle yourself differently as a result of that. Yes, I agree. Thank you. Thank you. This was awesome.

I'm not gonna stop.

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Who doesn't love a sports story? The rivalries, the feats of strength and stamina. But these tales go beyond the podium. There's the team table tennis champ, the ice skater who earned a medal and a medical degree, and the sprinter fighting for Aboriginal rights. Listen to Womanica on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.