Introducing lovelustfear
39:25 Share

True Story Media. Hey, it's Britt. This week, I'm introducing Love, Lust, Fear, a podcast by Jake Deptula, and this is a wild ride. The story of Emma is one that will keep you hooked from the beginning. We'll be back next week with more episodes from season two.

Oh, it's such a clutch off-season pickup, Dave. I was worried we'd bring back the same team. I meant those blackout motorized shades. Blinds.com made it crazy affordable to replace our old blinds. Hard to install? No, it's easy. I installed these and then got some from my mom. She talked to a design consultant for free and scheduled a professional measure and install. Hall of Fame's son? They're the number one online retailer of custom window coverings in the world. Blinds.com is the GOAT!

Shop blinds.com right now and get up to 45% off select styles. Rules and restrictions may apply. The story you're about to hear on Lovelust Fear is true. Some names, places, and other identifying details may have changed to protect the storyteller. Lovelust Fear may contain graphic language and depictions of sensitive situations. Please listen with caution. Next on Lovelust Fear...

All in the same week, I lost a dog, a job, a relationship, and a house. I hadn't been dating after this other relationship had ended. I run into Ben again. And Ben is somebody that women do see and say, wow, that guy's very attractive. Within a couple weeks, he had said, I want you to be my girlfriend.

I was always aware that the day could be a bad day or like, I hope he's not in a bad mood and anything could really put him in a bad mood. Then he had picked up the mattress on one side and flipped me off, you know, kind of like a seesaw. And he's frustrated and freaking out and he's throwing boxes out in the rain, slamming doors. I remember he had slammed a door and it had like cracked all the nails on my finger.

And I said something like, you're really scaring me. And all of a sudden he goes, looks at me and he goes, you should be scared. And he puts his foot on the gas, like all the way, 90 miles an hour, swerving, screeching, you know, whipping around. And I'm just absolutely freaking out.

Emma had always intended to stay in the Midwest, but when she got a job opportunity she couldn't resist, she headed to Los Angeles, leaving behind her family, her boyfriend, and a lot of memories. Now single and in her mid-20s, the demands of her high-pressure entertainment career left little time for dating. Instead, she found joy in her close-knit circle of friends and colleagues. Just as she thought she had passed LA's initial test of resilience, in a single tumultuous week, her life took a drastic turn.

She lost her job, her home, her dog, and her boyfriend. Amidst the chaos, a long-standing client emerged as a bright spot. Charismatic and familiar, he offered Emma a chance for excitement and new beginnings. But as Emma delved deeper into his world, she discovered a darker side, a journey fraught with emotional turmoil, bouts of rage, and abuse.

When I first moved to LA, I was living in a house in the hills with a bunch of people who were also in my industry. I didn't really head out on the dating scene like hardcore or anything when I first got here.

It was always friends of friends and things like that. And I was working in publicity and marketing with A-listers. They had a client. So he owned a beverage company and his name was Ben. And they would tell me, Oh, Ben, thanks. You're cute. And whatever. I never really paid attention to it. I was in another relationship. Maybe five years after that, I crossed paths with Ben again.

Very professionally, nothing crazy. And then probably like another few years passed, I was coming out of like a diabolical relationship. All in the same week, I lost a dog, a job, a relationship and a house. It was just like one of those things where your world is completely turned upside down and you're very vulnerable, right?

I hadn't been dating after this other relationship had ended. I run into Ben again. And Ben is somebody that women do see and say, wow, that guy's very attractive. And we exchanged numbers and decided to go out for drinks one night. We met one day and it was fun. We had a blast. It turned into drinks and then hanging out at a mutual friend's house that we didn't know we had. And so it just kind of like...

It was a really nice night that went better than expected. We kept hanging out. We kept going on dates, things like that. And it just kind of happened very quickly. And it felt like being with an old friend, especially because this is someone I'm familiar with. I don't know them well, but I've known of them for a very long time. And it feels natural.

He was the type of guy that anywhere you went together, if you were with colleagues and stuff, it was like, oh, you guys look so great together. He's so charming. He's so nice. You're just like the best looking couple, things like that. And that also kind of feeds the sense of affirmation, I guess, from other people. This is right. This looks great. This feels great. This looks nice on the outside.

Within a couple weeks, he had said, I want you to be my girlfriend. You know, I thought that was great. Like, I don't I want to be in a monogamous relationship. Like that makes me feel secure. We're spending a lot of time together. Like, great. That's a noble thing to ask and to want. But it was very soon, very soon.

We were in my room talking about something. He wanted me to do something. I can't remember what and I didn't want to do it or whatever. But it was something where I just sat back down on the bed after like a very minor disagreement about something. And all of a sudden I go flying up the bed and I look over and he's standing on the other side and he had picked up the mattress on one side and flipped me off, you know, kind of like a seesaw.

And, you know, he's just laughing like this, like it's a joke, like I'm being funny, but everything in my being like flared up, like pay attention to this. There was just that vibe that this wasn't a friendly joke. He'd always kind of put on this good face for other people. And then if there was any sort of stress or something that he perceived as a stress, it would disappear.

set him off. I once had a girlfriend that was coming to meet me and she was coming into the train station. And he knew like at six o'clock, we've got to pick up this friend from the train station. He had been procrastinating with some things around the house. And here I am saying, Hey, it's six, we got to go.

And now all of a sudden he's triggered. He's upset. He's ramping up. I remember that day it was raining and he said, there's no room for her in the backseat. And he's frustrated and freaking out. And he's throwing boxes out in the rain, slamming doors. I remember he had slammed a door and it had like cracked all the nails on my finger.

He had a sister and the sister was always a little scared of him, always a little on edge with him. But it's an odd thing to have a family member that's scared of you, you know, doesn't want to make you mad.

as I started to see these behaviors, I mean, I'm clocking them to like, psychologically, this isn't right. There's something going on with this person. This is a behavior pattern. There was a night, I think, where we were exchanging stories of things that had happened to us. I kind of had told my whole story about how my life had just been turned upside down. I'm kind of putting together the pieces I'm rebuilding, you know, and he had said, Yeah, my life,

was once turned upside down too. I was married prior for a very short amount of time. And he had said that his ex-wife had called the police on him and he was arrested for domestic abuse. And in his version of events,

She was setting him up because she was angry and she had made up the whole thing and she had friends that were in on it who were videotaping this incident and all of these things, right? He told that story to me in a way that was meant to paint this picture of, yes, I've been through all these awful things as well. But in my mind, seeing the behaviors that I had seen, I thought someone has already called into authorities about instances of domestic abuse with this guy. Yeah.

My sense of safety around him, I think I was always aware that the day could be a bad day or like, I hope he's not in a bad mood and anything could really put him in a bad mood. So suddenly I'm seeing little red flags everywhere. You know, like this person came across as having it all together. They had a couple of businesses. They had a home. He worked in the film industry. He had ways of making money. But then I would notice little things like his life is a mess.

I found out later that he had been fired for going nuts on producers on other films. There was one point where he had to go to a film shoot and I come over and his house is a mess. And I like watching him not be able to complete basic tasks like packing a bag, sending out mail before he leaves, like physically crumbling into a corner in a fetal position and crying. And I'm like, this is like an unraveled personality.

person like these things aren't normal this is either like a strange hyper focus or a neurosis like I'm not sure what this is but none of it's normal it's the day before Christmas Eve we're like sitting at this like really shitty chain restaurant and we're having a good time right we're having drinks he's telling me a story about a girlfriend that he had that used to be a groupie and she used to go follow bands around whatever and I think I made a comment such as

That's fun, but that's also a little concerning. If this person was sleeping with a lot of musicians, like, did you get tested after, you know? And that soured the mood right away. To me, a basic question, also being concerned for your health, also mine. And it was...

mean right away. Like, no, have you? Have you been turning it back on me, getting nasty? I realize the temperature's rising. I feel like I'm going to lose it on him as well. And I just say, I excuse myself to the bathroom. Let me go in the bathroom. Let me take a couple of breaths. Let me calm down just a little bit. And then we'll hash this out.

So I go back out to the bar where we were sitting. My belongings are still there and he's gone. So I say to the bartender, hey, the person I was with, did they leave? And they said, yes, he threw me money and ran out of here in a huff. So I'm cautiously saying,

walking back to my house. And you know, it's a busy street. And I see him just tossing my Christmas presents from his car onto the street. Boom, boom. One of them was like a stack of like vinyl albums. And as he's doing this, I'm like, how do I get around him so he doesn't see me? You know, I'm trying to figure out the best route to get back into the house.

As I'm trying to figure that out, this homeless woman walks up to the vinyl on the ground and she's all like, oh, Crosby, Stills, and Nash or like whatever album. He sees her looking at them and he just was like, don't touch him! And he's screaming at her. So I'm like, all right, diversion. I head up.

to my apartment. I'm like in, I'm on a second floor. I'm safe. It's a massive building. It's secured. So I think that I'm safe. He's calling and calling. I'm not picking up calls. I'm in a two-story building. There is no balcony by this window. There's also nothing to hold onto. But he had scaled the wall, like Spider-Man style. Yeah.

up to the second floor and he's ripped out the screen and I hear the window being like finagled and pushed and moved back and forth so that he can get inside. I am so in shock. I hear this commotion at the window and I look and I'm just in absolute shock because beyond having an ultra like tall ladder, there's no way. I have no idea how he scaled that wall. None. None.

My instinct, of course, is to push this person back, like, get out of here. You're breaking in. You're breaking and entering. But then also, if he falls and gets killed or something, I'm now going to be in trouble, right? He busts into the apartment, screaming, hollering. I think at one point, he fell back on the couch and I just, like, wailed.

He took my phone. I had a sliding glass door that was a mirror and he took the phone and chucked it directly into it, hoping his hope was to shatter the mirror, right? It didn't happen. I think he also threw it at the wall. It took a chunk out of the wall. I mean, this person was just livid. I run out of the apartment, run out. I'm just like looking for safety. But then I realized I don't have a phone. I don't have keys. So eventually I'm going to need to get these things.

The freaky thing was I was texting a girlfriend prior to him breaking in the window. Like, I'm really scared. I know it may sound silly, but I'm kind of scared for my life. I feel like this person is going to hurt me, all these things. Well, now since he has my phone, he texts her. He sees what I've written and he texts her back.

you know what? Disregard everything I just said. I'm being really crazy. I've said a lot of things to him I shouldn't and I'm being very unfair to him. So just disregard everything I've said. He's texting her back as if he's me trying to cover. Suddenly he's outside. I'm walking, trying to figure out what to do. He's got my keys and my phone. So just get in the car. It's okay. Come get your phone, get your keys. Like, let's just talk about this.

And dumbly, like, you know, I get into the car and I said something like, you're really scaring me. And all of a sudden he goes, looks at me and he goes, you should be scared. And he puts his foot on the gas, like all the way, you know, 90 miles an hour, swerving, screeching, you know, whipping around. And I'm just absolutely scared.

freaking out. You know, my brain is going a thousand miles a minute. I'm going to die in this car or we're going to be in a really bad car accident. I'm screaming. He's crossing lanes. I don't know if it was like my screaming or his desire not to like have to post bail for himself that night. But eventually he stopped the car at this point. And even leading up to it, like I said, I knew there was a expiration date on this and I knew it was going to be

to get out of based on what I had seen. And it was just, I just wasn't in the headspace to go through it. I can't go through the hell that's going to come when I actually leave this relationship because I'm already going through hell. I'm prolonging this hurt. It was the day before Christmas. So now the next day, it's Christmas Eve. We had had plans to spend Christmas together. I like had acquiesced to like...

yes, let's just spend Christmas as we have planned. I don't want to be alone, even though we've gone through this horrific thing. And you're really kind of deep in these trenches of like abuse at this time. So you do just give in a lot. So we end up spending Christmas together. And I think too, like a lot of abusers, like once the shit hits the fan, then they're really kind afterwards. It didn't have any sway on the future, but it gave me like a cue of I'm safe for the time being.

Who doesn't love the finer things in life? I'm all about a little luxury, but let's be real. It's not always in the budget. That's until I found Quince. I've been living in my new silk skirt. Best part, it's washable, so no more expensive trips to the dry cleaners. Quince has become my go-to for luxury essentials that are actually affordable. From 100% Mongolian cashmere sweaters starting at just $50, to

to washable silk tops and dresses. And I'm not a big jewelry person, but my daughter Bree is, and she is a big fan of their selection and prices. Quince offers all these premium pieces at 50 to 80% less than similar brands. It's luxury I can feel good about, affordable, beautiful, and guilt-free. Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash Brit.

for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. That's Quince. Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash Brit. Quince dot com slash Brit. I want to take a minute and talk about Hormone Harmony. It isn't just for menopause, even though I was...

Thrown into that last year, finding a product that helps regulate my symptoms has been so crucial. Whether it's hot flashes, night sweats, or those racing thoughts and low moods, I've been able to use Hormone Harmony to help me feel like myself again.

This isn't just a product for somebody that's going through menopause. It can help you at any stage in your life to help maintain optimal hormone levels. I also love Happy Mammoth's Complete Gut Repair. With the Complete Gut Repair, when I'm traveling, I can make sure that I continue to feel like myself, even with the time zone changes and dysregulation to my sleep. For a limited time, you can get 15% off your entire first order at HappyMammoth.com.

using the code youprobably at checkout. That's happymammoth.com with the code youprobably.

Coming to ABC and Hulu. Amanda Riley was a mother, wife, speaker at her church. And then she got diagnosed with cancer. A beloved young Christian woman fighting a battle undeserved. We thought she was God's gift, but she was a liar. Why would somebody fake cancer? From the number one smash hit podcast. It was only a matter of time until Amanda's whole world came tumbling down. You're not going to believe this.

Scamanda. New episodes Thursday nights on ABC and stream on Hulu.

After Christmas, I go back to work. And I'm noticing like I eat the same thing every morning, right? I eat an avocado with chia seeds and something else. And all of a sudden, I have this sudden aversion to avocados. The sight, the taste, the smell, like any thought of an avocado makes me want to throw up. Running to the bathroom, like I may throw up, right? This goes on for two days. And I realized like something's not right. And I'm like, I'm going to throw up.

And so I go home and take a pregnancy test and boom, I'm pregnant. And I'm so shocked. I remember I told him, I said, Hey, I just took a test. It's positive. I'm pregnant. I said, but I still, I don't believe it. So we went to the emergency room to like confirm. So I

So I go to the emergency room. I just cannot believe that it's happening. They also confirm that, yes, it's positive. And he seems nonchalant about it, right? I'll support you, whatever you want to do. This is your decision to make. He doesn't seem rattled at all. He doesn't really seem concerned either way.

And so I think for like a couple of weeks, like what am I going to do? And ultimately, like I just knew I had to terminate the pregnancy. I knew what kind of a person he was. I couldn't imagine subjecting a child to this person. I couldn't imagine. I could just picture him terrorizing us for 18 years. Like, and I wasn't going to have a prolonged relationship with this person. It was going to be a co-parenting relationship. And I just, the idea of that scared me

so much. It just felt like something that I had to do. There was no way. So I tell him, I've made my decision. I'm going to do a chemical abortion. And he's okay with that. It's totally fine. Sure. Whatever.

So the morning of the doctor's appointment, he's going to go with me for support or whatever. But that morning, he absolutely freaks out. He had thrown something away and didn't put the trash can all the way back in right. And so I fixed it. I didn't make a stink about it. I just fixed it. And he just blew up. Oh, that's passive aggressive, fixing the trash can. You know, dumb things that people like this get triggered by.

So he's absolutely freaking out. I'm trying to calm him down. And he just starts screaming at me. And suddenly now he's now that he's mad, he's decided that he wants to keep this baby.

So he just starts screaming at the top of his lungs, murderer, murderer. I'm going to tell everyone that you're a baby murderer. I'm going to tell everyone that we know you'll never be able to work again because you're a murderer. You murdered children. He's screaming this at the top of his lungs. My neighbor's been here and it's like I'm already doing something that's extremely difficult to do. Like I'm already facing a day that I'm not looking forward to.

And somehow I get past him. I get into my car and I'm just, I'm bawling. And again, it's pouring rain outside. I am on the freeway. I'm just like, I'm overcome with all the emotions that come with

what I'm about to do medically. And that obviously has huge emotional ramifications as well. And then I have this person who's going crazy on me that I'm scared of. So I'm on the freeway. I'm just going to my appointment. I'm just like, you need to be strong and you need to do what you were set up to do. And that's it, right? Don't let this do well you. And I see him in the pouring rain, swerving behind me, trying to catch up to me. He's like chasing me now. This is like...

The biggest nightmare of my life. I get to the doctor's, I run in, he's like chasing me until he gets into the doctor's office. He's being crazy. And then suddenly like shape shifts into this like nice concerned boyfriend that's here to be a support system for me.

And I'm just like sitting there. I'm shaking. I'm like, this guy is so crazy. I'm so scared. So then they call my name. I go into the back office and I just start bawling. And I tell the nurse, like, the man out there is terrorizing me. He's chased me here. He's threatened me. You know, and they're asking, do we need to call the police? Because that's a, I guess that must be, I didn't know this, but that must be like a regular thing that happens in situations like this, right? There's people that they need to call the police, make sure people are safe.

But I was like so scared and traumatized that I couldn't even like grasp dealing with law enforcement while having an abortion. Like, it's just like, this is all types of fucked up at this point. The good thing is I had a great support system. I had friends and family I could lean on. In terms of emotions, like immediately after an abortion, there's a lot of hormonal and chemical things flooding. You're flooded, you know, your body's flooded. So you're...

really upset. Whether you know you're making the right decision or not, your body is like bonded to keep this child safe, to bring it to term. So it feels like a huge loss. And I think that was so immense for me that he became like second thought for a little bit. But I had like a hatred for him and being screamed murderer,

On top of screaming that I'm a murderer so that all my neighbors can hear, you've also threatened to take away my livelihood because you said I'm going to tell everyone that you kill children. This is just like a horrible, manipulative person. Very, very, very manipulative. Like a child.

One night he was in that weird neurotic headspace of doing a lot of things and not being able to handle them. And he had been in this wound of headspace and we were going to bed and I hear him get up and I hear him unlocking something. And I'm like, what are you doing? So I'm getting the gun out of the safe. And I said, why? And he said, just in case like someone breaks in. And I was like, hell fucking no. Am I going to sleep next to this guy with a gun out? And,

And I was able to talk him into locking it back up. I said, absolutely not. You need to lock that up. And he did. The next night, I went out for a friend's birthday. Just on the street, I leave my work stuff at his house. My laptop and phone are connected. So if someone's texting on my computer, I can see it on my phone. I am

I'm at the dinner and I see like texts going through again to that friend. I would kind of alert her when things were going awry. I think I had said something about the gun. He's creeping me out again, things like that. Again, I see text messages, not for me, but coming from my laptop going through to her, like everything's better. I don't know why I said that to you, things like that. And then I can see text messages are being read. So this guy's snooping through my phone and I know he's going to be pissed because he saw the message and

to my friend about how we had the gun out. So I'm at the dinner and I'm flooded with anxiety. Like, I don't know what to do because I have a key to his house. I have to get my laptop. I've got to go back there and face him. And I know this is going to be disaster. I don't know what I'm in store for, but I'm terrified to go back there. I leave the birthday dinner and by some sheer miracle, I don't know how I got so lucky. I get there and he's asleep.

And he's passed out. And I quickly take the key off the ring, put it back down. I don't want to be accused of taking a key or something, right? Get the key. I get my stuff. I get in my car. I run out of there. I'm like, I made it safe. I can't believe it. I cannot believe it. An hour and a half, two hours later, I hear someone screaming from the sidewalk below up to the apartment.

screaming, screaming, screaming. He's woken up. He's made his way to my house. He's calling, calling, calling, texting, calling. And then we lived in a secure building, but you know how it is. If anyone walks in and they let the person behind them in,

they can easily gain access to the building. So suddenly there's knocks on the door and the phone's ringing while he's knocking, ringing, knock, ring, knock. And I had a roommate and he and I are both huddled in a separate room. We've turned all the lights off. I pressed record so I can record the incident. Eventually he left, but that was the last straw for me. I couldn't do any more. There was too much that had gone on.

The next day, I'm not answering any calls, messages. He starts texting one of my coworkers, trying to find out where I'm at. I have to go into my boss's office. I'm bawling. I just said, hey, I'm terrified that he's going to show up here. I kept looking in the parking lot, looking for his car. And every time I would see like a notification on my phone, I would panic. Like, what is it now? And if it was his name, it was just like this burning pit. I mean, you're completely frozen, terrified.

Then I had a friend who said, listen, I know you're going through a lot. Why don't you come to church with me? Like, I don't normally go to church, but she said, just come with me. You know, it's going to be good for you. It's a good place for peace and solace. If anything else, just come. So that next day, that weekend or whenever it was, I go to church service with her. And as we come out, I have all these notifications on Instagram. I'm tagged in at least like 25 posts.

And I look and he has deleted his entire Instagram.

And he has put in his bio, line two, I'm a victim of narcissistic abuse at the hands of this person at my tandal. And then posted article after article after article after article after article and had tagged me in every single one. And then in the caption at me, and it was all this stuff with how do you know when you're being abused? How do you know? And I'm at this point, I'm enraged because I'm like, you fucker, you've terrorized me.

You've put my life in danger. You've threatened my livelihood. I've gone through so much and the audacity. Now you're putting me on blast in front of a community of our peers as well. It was absolutely crazy. I felt like my life was falling apart because there's that fear of retaliation. The fear of retaliation is very, very strong. And now it's happened. And now it's public.

I've gotten a recommendation from a life coach about this woman out of Atlanta. Her name is Kimberly Weeks. I would highly recommend if anyone is going through any type of abuse, this woman is a lifesaver. She specializes in narcissistic abuse. I call her. She doesn't know me. She makes time for me right away. And I said, this is what's going on. And she said...

She could predict his movements like clockwork. This is what he's going to do next. Then he's going to do this. You're going to hear this from him. It's a pattern, you know, and it's very easy to predict that kind of behavior that's going to come. So she predicted and she said, go to the police now. And I said, I don't go to the police because I don't want to, you know, and she said, go to the police now. This is the only way this is going to stop. I go to the police. And you hear these things all the time. He hasn't done anything tangible. So are they going to believe me?

All this stuff, right? Luckily, it was a slow day at the police station. There was one cop working there. This guy was a lifesaver. I told him what was going on. And he said, listen, I will give you a restraining order if you want one.

But he's like, I'm letting you know just the way the restraining orders work. You will have to show up in court. You're going to have to face him. He's like, so we can definitely do that. He goes, I can also give him a call and let him know that I am ready to grant this restraining order and tell him that he's to have no contact with you and I can write a report so it's written. So that's what we did. The guy went back in his office, took his phone number from me, went back into his office and

let him know that the way the state of California works is he... Because if they don't grant me the restraining order and he does kill me, the police officer, the office, the sheriff's department, whatever, can be sued. Because I went to seek help. I said, I felt like I was in danger. You did nothing. Now my family can come back and sue you because he's now taken my life. And he said, we don't deny restraining orders anymore. They used to be hard to get.

went back into his office, explained all this to him. You are not to have any contact with her. And I would say that was it. That wasn't it. Instead of texting me, he was texting a friend of mine, things like that. But for the most part, that was the day that it ended.

I forever will be grateful to the, a lot of people have really bad experiences with stalking cases or abuse cases with police. I had a really great one. Thank God. And then this was like the kicker. I would say about eight days after that, a friend calls me and said, you'll never guess who I just saw on Bumble. And they said, here's Ben's profile on Bumble.

So he's already up and running. And while I'm relieved by this, I'm thinking like he's like looking for his next victim. This is over. Like, I mean, obviously for someone else's sake, I don't want him to have another victim, but he's on the prowl for someone else.

But also this anger sets in like the nerve, right? You were terrorizing me for what? For what purpose? It wasn't for love. It was once you weren't allowed to send threatening messages or stalk me or vandalize my property or physically confront me anymore. Once you couldn't instill the fear and intimidate, the fun is gone, right? So it's on to the next, which feels like so sick to me.

The last time I got a text was my birthday and I got some stupid text. It was like, happy birthday, pretty lady. Something easy to ignore. It's been a long time. I'm married now. I have stepkids. There was never going to be a time when I let this guy who I just thought was an idiot and a maniac take what I have now away from me. When I spoke with Emma, I asked her how she knew it was the right time for her to leave.

listening to someone's story, you say, why didn't you get out sooner? And I've probably thought that when I've heard people's stories or red flags and

Certainly haven't made the same mistake. But again, like I said, I was in a vulnerable situation. And then I felt kind of trapped where I was like, I'm not ready to rock the boat yet. Because I know when I do take the step to part ways with this person, it's going to be a rocky road. And I'm not sure that I can go through another rocky road. I just got off the rocky road. Like I don't want to go back on it. Deep down, I knew there's no way. There's a point when I got to find my exit. And I'm kind of looking for the point.

I asked her if she's ever experienced any toxic relationships in the past. I had not been through any other relationships that were volatile in this way. I've never been in an abusive situation. My dad wasn't abusive or loud or someone who screamed. Neither were my brothers. I never had a boyfriend like that. So I just didn't understand anything.

What was going on? My mind is blank. Like, how am I here? I had grown up in a household with what I would say is like a histrionic family member where reactions were always exaggerated. If the washing machine broke, it was like the end of the world versus we need to get a new one. So I think there was a little part of my nervous system that was used to reactions that were bigger than they needed to be.

I also wanted to know how this relationship impacted your perspective and behavior regarding future romantic relationships. I didn't want to give him the power to ruin romantic love for me or the idea of a relationship for me. Like I wasn't going to do that. I was able to compartmentalize that this was someone with a lot of problems. Unfortunately, I allowed him to my life. Damage was done. But there was no way in hell I was going to let this idiot ruin

ruined the sense of having a relationship. And I hadn't had the experience before. So it was very easy for me to isolate him as not everyone's like this. I'm not going to be in this situation again. I'm just better armed now to see red flags and not be like, well, I'm just dating for funsies. Let's see where this goes. And I worked with Kim Weeks. Like I said, she's an amazing life coach, just because she was so...

educated on how these people work and how they move and what it takes to shift out of the abuse. She made it so easy for me and enlightening and positive. And I felt really good about it. I felt extremely alert after this relationship. And also like I felt very prepared and also I had someone to bounce things off of now. So if I was to get in another relationship and something didn't feel right, we could talk about that.

And finally, is there anything she would have done differently in this situation? And has anyone sought out her guidance on escaping abusive relationships? It's funny that you asked though, because a friend of mine just yesterday, she had ran into some guy

They used to flirt. They never really dated, but he had her number. She had run into him. Hello. Hi, how are you? Whatever. They had met years ago. And yesterday he started blowing up her phone, calling, calling, calling, texting, texting, texting. And then she blocked his number. She sends me a screenshot of at least 13 no caller ID missed calls.

Should this escalate, I would have some advice for her. But I would say if I was to do it over again, I would have blocked early. I would have talked to law enforcement earlier. I would have put safeguards in place to make sure that there was no communication. Because once, like I said, I was out of his field of vision, I was safe. I would have put up blocks to make sure that he could not get to me. Delirious.

deleting off social media, delete, block, delete, block, whatever you got to do, having your friends and family block this person. I would have done that a lot sooner. I just hope if someone is listening to this, that's maybe going through something similar. There is light at the end of the tunnel and it's so hard to see when you're scared, when someone's making you scared of them. Over just four to five months, Emma experienced a transformative journey in a relationship that initially felt comforting and right.

Her emotions evolved from attraction to concern and eventually fear. Despite knowing him for a while, Emma didn't truly understand who he was until they were in a relationship and faced some very harsh tests. As time passed, she faced challenges that tested her strength and led her to question when it was the appropriate time to leave.

Fortunately, she found the right time to go and sought support from a life coach and her inner circle of friends who eventually led her to seek protection from the police, which prevented her from his further abuse. After gaining clarity on her situation, she refused to let this man take away her desire to enter a healthy, happy, and secure romantic relationship, which she's in today. Until next time, I'm Jake Deptula, and this is Love, Lust, Fear.

Every guest featured on Loveless Fear selects a charity or organization to share. Please check the show notes on this episode for more details. If you or someone you know is being abused by a partner, there is help available. The National Domestic Violence Hotline provides essential tools and support to help survivors of domestic violence. Just call 1-800-799-SAFE. That's 1-800-799-7233. Or you can text START to 88788.

If you'd like to be a guest on Loveless Fear and share your personal dating and relationship story, you can email us at lovelessfearpod at gmail.com or DM us on Instagram at lovelessfearpod. Disclaimer, the information shared on this podcast should not be considered as professional advice or a substitute for seeking professional advice.