Eamon & Bec share 3 rules for life
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- To say, "Oh no, no, no, I'm not creating those thoughts. Like all of these external things have created my mood," is a much easier thing than taking accountability for being in a pissy mood.

Hey there, I'm Matt D'Avella and welcome to my short form podcast, Three Rules. Each episode, I ask a guest to share three rules that help them find success and happiness. Today, I'm joined by Eamon and Beck, entrepreneurs, YouTubers, and van life pioneers who have built a global community by sharing their adventures on the road. From converting camper vans to launching a successful tea company, they've mastered the art of seamlessly integrating their passions into their life and bringing their audience along for the ride.

Let's jump into these three rules. What's rule number one? Rule number one is happiness is a choice. And I think it's important to preface this with it's our role and how we live. And I know that as I say that it can be really triggering for people.

I first learned about it from Mo Goddard's book, Solve for Happy. And he said after he made that statement on his like Kindle analytics, he can see that 80% of people drop off. So people don't want to hear it and they don't want to know that they can make the choice to stop being unhappy, which is another way of saying the same thing. So we've really dove into this world and I would just invite people to listen

Maybe it doesn't resonate with them right now. Maybe they're in a place where things are really hard and it feels like that isn't a choice that they could make. But I just invite them to keep it as a possibility, put it in the back of their brain, and maybe one day...

the things we're about to say will resonate. - We've talked about this a lot on our show is it is triggering for people. And even though we're leading this off with our rule as rule number one, it really, it's still, we still remind each other constantly. - Yes. - Right? Like I'll be in just a crappy mood and she'll be like, happiness is a choice. And I'm like,

you don't want to hear it in that moment either you're like no like this happened today this happened today and i'm pissed because of this and this person and it's like we all have reasons to be unhappy but in the exact same breath we have so many reasons to feel grateful and to be happy and

And even if in the day, all you can do is feel gratitude for like the chair you're sitting on, that's a choice too, you know? I think it's hilarious that this author actually saw that people drop off after he mentions this. And it's, they don't want to be told something that's so...

that it just seems too easy or maybe it seems dismissive of their feelings? I think it's dismissive and I also think to say, "Oh no, no, no, I'm not creating those thoughts. Like all of these external things have created my mood," is a much easier thing than taking accountability for being in a pissy mood, you know? We have that choice and I think that's what's triggering for people is they're like, "No, you don't know what I'm going through." And it's like, "Well, you don't know what I'm going through." Or

People look at an author or YouTuber as this high horse, right? But we're all just living a normal life. Sure, some people have a deeper pocket to use money and money is great. But we're all feeling emotions. We're all dealing with stress. We're all...

uh humans right yeah where does venting come in because i like to vent how do you how do you balance that you know maybe being able to vent talk about challenges that you're going through totally without being complaining like without complaining but then also not going to the other end and being like toxic positive where everything is everything is great you have no reason to complain yeah i think it's

all about how long we stay in that feeling. So you need to vent. You need to get it off your chest. You need to move through the emotion. And then you have to say, okay, I've let it out and I'm going to choose...

To feel differently. I also heard like if you look at animals, they physically shake it off. Like if a deer is being chased by a lion, they will literally like shake themselves out of fright. And I think movement is such an important part of that or even just physically shaking or taking a deep breath. Or venting maybe in this case. A little bit. Yeah. But it's about not dwelling and hanging on to that. And I think it's really interesting when you hang out with people that love talking about negative things. It's very addicting. It is.

And it's their identity and they want to dive into people's drama and almost talk shit, right? Yeah. Negativity has a way of kind of like bleeding into every conversation. Like if one person's negative, it's very hard for the other person in the conversation to keep it positive.

positive. It's like it brings the whole conversation and energy down. Exactly. It's funny because you're trying to bring the energy up, but you're bringing it down because you're not meeting that person with where they're at essentially. And it's a way to bond is to be like, oh, this happened. And then your bestie's like, no, like my day was even more shit. And it's like this weird bonding that happens over negativity. So yeah, I think venting fits in in just

lessening the time or like allowing that to happen and then recognize I don't want to get stuck in that pattern. - Yeah, right. - 'Cause once you do the pattern of venting, if the next day you vent again and the next day you vent again, it's like then you become a venter. - Yeah. - You know, then it becomes your personality to be negative. But if you have the vent, you like shake it off, like get it out of your system and then you're back to, you know, having gratitude thoughts and elevated emotions, that's your personality. - I think kids are such a good example of this too.

Frankie could be sitting on the ground looking at a stone and it could bring her so much joy. And just bringing it back to that micro level sometimes is so key. Going out and just staring at a tree or a leaf or the water flow down a river. She's also not afraid to express like her venting, right? So she'll scream and she lets out her energy. But then within minutes, she can be really happy. So there's so much to learn by having a kid where you're like, okay, like feel the emotion, let it out. And then kind of...

- Recalibrate. - Yeah, I think you're right. Like it's some things that you just have to go through, but then there's always a turning point where you're like, okay, like how many days am I gonna allow myself to feel like this before you start to change and start to try even in small ways, like you said, exercise, small habits that can help you to start to music, have more positive thoughts rather than negative thoughts.

An exercise I love is this neuroscientist said, when you wake up in the morning, before you're even conscious that you're Matt D'Avella living in this body, just have gratitude for your pillow, your bed, and the comforter. Just try it. And it just sets the tone of gratitude. It's like the smallest little thing. But if you do that, you'll catch yourself like midday, just feeling a little bit of gratitude. So it's small. It's really small, but it's a choice we can make. Or you can catch yourself saying like, there I am, I'm thinking negative again. And this happens to me

all the time. Like I'm in the negative thought pattern. Oh, the video is not doing well. Nobody cares about it. Like it's all going away, you know? And it's like, whoa, Beck, you're having that thought. Okay. You've had it. It's done. Let's just choose. Like I have gratitude for everyone who did watch and it's a simple. I love that you said that this morning. Yeah. You know, videos 10 of 10. That's cool. But she's like, well, 80,000 people watched like

- Like that's incredible. - You can choose to be like, oh, normally 200,000 people have and so I'm in fear that everything's going away or whatever the fear is at the deep, or you can say, wow, 80,000 people spent the time. Like I'm so grateful for them. How beautiful is that? - Yeah, and people watching, like they don't have a lot of sympathy for people who get lots of views on their videos,

But it's like the hedonic treadmill. So this is true for people who are YouTubers and they upload a video and they normally get a thousand views, but this video they uploaded has 200 views. And so now they're like, oh my God, this is it. Like nobody's gonna watch my shit again. But I think it's maybe coming back to like the intentions and why you decided to do it in the first place. Let's move on to rule number two. - So rule number two is back yourself into a corner. We chose this because it's something we've naturally done

Basically, our entire relationship of just saying things out loud, saying, you know, we're going to Australia this year. And we didn't book a flight. We didn't look into details. We didn't clear our calendar. We just started saying that. And eventually, your community, your people around you start going, so when are you going to Australia? I'm going January. Okay, cool. And we've just constantly...

Done that. And it's such a great way for people to keep you accountable. I want to also preface though, it's not about just talking the talk and saying things. You need to action it. But we use that as a superpower and a sense of

You know, it's a form of manifestation. Yeah, like we've backed ourselves into the corner because we've told so many people we've started, we're starting a tea company. And it's like, okay, like what tea are you gonna sell? And then all of a sudden it's almost like working backwards to get the thing done. We've never been like the, this is the business plan. This is like the next step because I think we'd talk ourselves out of everything we've ever done. If we saw like the likelihood that a tea company would be successful, there's so many tea companies.

and do we really need another one? We just not do anything, you know? So we work in the opposite way, which I think in a way is a form of manifestation where we embody and know, hey, we're going to go do that thing.

How do you know like 100% this is the direction that I want to head? I think a lot of people struggle with not knowing which thing to start, which interest to pursue. So when you say, oh, we want to come to Australia or we want to start a tea company, how do you know that that is the thing that you should be focusing your energy on when there are maybe 100 other things calling for your attention?

It's so interesting because before we started, I said if we had different if we were on the show separately, we'd have different roles. Maybe one of mine would have been trust the nudge. There's this feeling that people call it intuition or whatever.

this naggingness inside that's like, you gotta do that thing. Or you just feel, it's a feeling really. It's this nudge that just keeps coming up. And if you don't do the thing, a week later you're like, I was really thinking I should. You know, it comes back. When the thought or the idea keeps coming back,

That's when you've got to trust the nudge and back yourself into the corner. What would you say is the, maybe the time when it worked out the best when you backed yourself into a corner and you're like, oh my God, thank God we forced ourself to do that. Otherwise we may never have done it.

I think our move into the van was like kind of a big one. So we had a tea company that was in Toronto and like selling to cool cafes. And we were like, how are we going to expand this? We have no money. Like we should go to Vancouver and these other like cool places to try to sell. But like we can't afford an Airbnb and the flights and stuff. Car rental and accommodation and.

So Eamon just like threw out the idea of a van. And within like a week, we purchased this van. We were renovating the van. And it just... I'll never forget. We were just about to buy it. It was like $10,000 van. And I'm like holding the paper. And I looked at you and I'm like, do you want to choose the adventure? Yeah, because this was a lease. Yeah. We're going to lease an apartment or choose the van. And we just decided the van and we just...

We just backed ourselves into the corner of we're going to figure out how to build a home in this van. Nobody was doing it at the time. Yeah, what year was this? 2016. Yeah. Yeah, like this was like pre-van life. Nobody was doing that. Yeah, like, and that's why we use like our little bit of filming skills to film making the van because we had wished someone could show me, how do you have electrical systems in a van? So we just. And we would have had no channel without van life. Like that's what built our brand. Exactly.

Exactly. So we just said we were doing it, did it, and then it all worked out. That started this whole journey. Yeah. Yeah. That's insane. I know. Thank you, Van Life. Appreciate it. We're done with Van Life now, though. Is there anything that you're looking forward to now in terms of like, where you're like, oh, maybe we could do this? Or like, I mean, are you guys kind of the podcast? Obviously, there's a lot that's new that's going on with your life being parents. Like, is there anything that you're looking forward to in terms of like, oh, that would be something? Yeah.

pretty epic or are you guys kind of in a place now where you're feeling like just happy with how everything is? - I think the pod is so exciting. Just like how far can we push this thing? - Like who can we sit across from? Like talk about being inspired by someone. We're so inspired by you. So to be sitting here having this conversation feels bizarre in the coolest way. And it's been happening more and more where I'm just sitting across from someone and I'm like,

We're like hanging out with this person, you know? It's so cool. And to learn from these people has just been amazing. So yeah, we love the pod. I'm going to be back with the third and final rule in a moment. But first, one of the ways I'm supporting this podcast is through Patreon. By becoming a patron, you get access to the full unedited episodes of the show. I guess that kind of explains why you never see Matt D'Avelle vlogging in public. Are you joking? I tried. I tried vlogging in the airport once and I just like...

I'm trying to talk like walking through the airport and then like I walk past somebody and I'm like, fuck this. And that's the last time I ever tried to do it. That would be me. As a patron, you'll also get additional unused footage from my YouTube videos and access to a members only area where you can ask me questions for my Patreon exclusive AMA podcast.

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Let's move on to rule number three. Rule number three is invest in community. It's almost like investing into a bank account. So the more you invest, it compounds over time. And when you really invest in your relationships, whether it's the relationship with yourself, your partner, or your inner circle, in those moments, especially of hardship, you're

It's been everything for us to have our community just like hold us, you know, and we're really open and we stay curious about meeting new people, expanding our community. I think we have so much to learn from people who especially are different from us. So we're just...

I don't know. I just think investing in people is the best use of your time. I'm such an advocate for like meeting your neighbors. I think it's so lost, but it's so key having someone you can call and be like, Hey, can you let my dog out? Hey, can you shuffle my driveway? Like those little things you can rely on each other. It makes life so much more enjoyable.

- True. - And it doesn't need to be a deep relationship. It doesn't need to be, you know, tell me all your darkest secrets. It can be like, "Hey, Tony, how are you doing?" - Yeah, I'm so bad at that, dude. I'm like the guy that like, I get very like introverted and like a bit socially awkward at times. And so if I'm like at the door, I'm about to leave my house and I hear that my neighbor just left, I'm like, I think I'll just wait a couple of minutes. - Bro, change that. - Yeah.

I just like, cause I'm like, do you know their name? Oh no. I mean our, our neighbors now they're incredible. We love all of our neighbors. I'm just saying like in general, like actually like in this studio that I have now, like that's something that I get quite anxious about where I'm like, Oh my God, like, am I going to run into them? Am I going to have to have a conversation with a stranger today?

today. I think that's just like part of my like anxiousness and social aversion. It's never the same. Don't worry. Yeah, my partner is the opposite. So he's always like, you're so introverted. You're so introverted. I'm like, we've been with people for 300 days of this year. I love people. I just also need a little

chill time, whereas Eamon is the ultimate extrovert. Yeah, yeah, I get energy from people. If somebody was going to try to build a community for themselves, or if there's somebody like me who is a bit socially anxious and is even nervous to meet their neighbors, like what's what are some of the steps that they can take to build up a community?

I love that because I think it goes back to me saying like investing into the bank account compounds over time. I think people think, okay, I need to have that meaningful conversation today and have a best friend tomorrow. It's like, it takes time. And we were just in Hawaii and everyone we met were like, wow, your community is so beautiful here. They kind of build their own families because often they move from mainland. And it's like, yeah, but it took us time. It takes time. So I think starting with hello,

what's your name to my neighbor or something simple like that or just reaching out. I've also noticed within the creator space and when we have said, oh my God, we'd love to have you on the podcast. You're like, oh my God, I can't believe I'm hearing from you. And I'm like, I can't believe you've responded. It's like we all kind of want to connect and it's the same thing in everyday life. Like people want to just

but we're all afraid to do it. So if you know that the person on the other side also wants to connect, but they're a little afraid and that's why they haven't said hi, just say hi. I don't know if that's helpful. Hi. And then like, there's little questions that can be able to make conversation a lot easier. Something like what's something you're excited about this week rather than what do you do for work? You're just much more interesting of a question. If they want to tell you what they're due for work, they're going to answer with that. But,

um little things like that have helped me kind of connect with people a lot more i love that that's such a good one yeah and then also i'm big into just like facetiming right i really can't stand planning a facetime it just seems so brutal like i'm not into calendar anyway but just calling someone and beck's kind of of the thought process like oh you'll be interrupting them what if they're putting their kid down what if they're having dinner like making up 10 000 things in their head

of thinking of what someone's gonna be doing. But I think that's a little bit lost in our society of this text message society. Just call someone. And hang up. Don't drag it on for two hours. Just call them, hey dude, how was your day? Great, cool, yeah, I'm just getting home from work. All right, we'll see you later, boom. - Yeah, right, right, yeah, it's not a big deal. - Don't make it a big deal, right? My brother, he calls and it's kinda hard to get him off the phone.

you know, let's call multiple times a day, but not for two hours. Yeah. I think it's about finding your people too, that get you and understand you. I, my one buddy, Josh, who lives in Melbourne, like we have a, like a FaceTime relationship. So like anytime, like a call will come through, it'll a hundred percent be a FaceTime.

And which is kind of fun because like we catch each other in just in between like doing certain tasks, like walking to the gym or in the middle of a work project. And I think when you do have that kind of like open trust in a relationship, it's a little bit easier. So he probably initiated that. 100%. He did it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So I guess my advice would be like, take the step and just FaceTime someone. That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you can build that relationship. Yeah. Great. So if people want to find out more about your work, where should we send them? Well, my name's Eamon, E-A-M-O-N. And if you type Eamon and Beck into YouTube, you'll find us. Our podcast is called Reroot.

And Instagram's Eamon and Beck. And yeah, we're just really excited about this next chapter of podcasts. And our tea company is Habit at Drink Habit. We'd love you to follow that as well. We're posting some cool content there. Amazing. Well, thank you guys so much for coming on the show. Thank you, Matt. Thanks, Matt. Dream come true. If you want to get these rules summarized into a weekly newsletter, you can subscribe at mattdiavella.com slash three rules. Thanks so much to Eamon and Beck for joining me. Check out the links in the description to learn more about their work.