AEE 2347: When “Good For You” is Bad For You
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This is an All Ears English podcast episode 2347. When good for you is bad for you. Welcome to the All Ears English podcast downloaded more than 200 million times. Are you feeling stuck with your English? We'll show you how to become fearless and fluent by focusing on connection, not perfection with your American host,

Aubrey Carter, the IELTS whiz, and Lindsay McMahon, the English adventurer, coming to you from Arizona and Colorado, USA. To get real-time transcripts right on your phone and create your personalized vocabulary list, try the All Ears English app for iOS and Android. Start your seven-day free trial at allearsenglish.com forward slash app.

Do you ever use the phrase "good for you"? Did you know that sometimes this phrase can backfire because native speakers might think it's sarcastic? Today, learn everything you need to know about two distinct ways to deliver this phrase.

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at allersenglish.com/bundle. Jump in now because the special bundle price goes away February 2nd at midnight. That's allersenglish.com/bundle. Hey there, Aubrey. What's shaking? Not much. How are you? Good. I'm feeling great, but I have a question for you to start off today. All right. So what's something that you crossed off your to-do list today?

Oh, right before recording, I cleaned off our laundry room counter. It's kind of a catch-all where I will throw like sweatshirts and some gifts from a recent party and returns, anything that needs to be returned goes there and books. So it had become a hot mess. And my partner was like, could you please? Because all of it was my stuff mostly. Sure. He doesn't know where to put stuff. So he asked me and I did. I got it done. Yeah.

Well, good for you. Way to be productive, Aubrey. Yes, that feels good, doesn't it? It does feel good. I like to be productive and sometimes I'm not as much. So it does. It feels good to check something off of a list, get something done that has been building up. Right. Because sometimes it's just easier just to do it rather than keep looking at it and thinking, I have to do it. I have to do it. That can be more stressful.

Absolutely. But I love that you responded with good for you way to be productive. Like what a great response when someone lets you know something, they accomplish something great. This can be such a positive way to respond. But we got a great listener question about this because it can also be sarcastic.

And kind of mean. Right. So much of it depends on the tone of voice. So that's why I made sure to say, good for you, right? So it's a very positive, cheery tone of voice. But we're going to get into this today, this phrase, which is so common in American English. Yeah.

Yes. And there is a common mistake here where you could accidentally sound sarcastic when you don't mean to. You mean to be sincere. So we'll share examples with both. And we're going to give you some options if you want to just avoid the possibility of someone misunderstanding you that you can use instead.

I love it. All right. So I'm going to go ahead and read the listener question and then we're going to get to our answer for our listeners. Here we go. So our listener here, Jorge says on my very first day at Cal State University, just walking around the campus with my new classmates and one of them told me something he had accomplished. And then I go, good for you. Immediately his face and body language changed and he seemed upset by what I had said. I

I was surprised because I was telling him I was happy for what he had done. So I didn't know why he was reacting that way. Days later, I understood the reason why. In the US, depending on the tone of your voice, good for you can mean I'm not interested at all. That is your problem. I do not care. So it was a complete misunderstanding. And I was so worried about it since I wanted to become friends of this nice classmate.

Common mistake, right, Aubrey? Yes, absolutely. And Jorge is exactly right. I have heard it this way. I use it this way. It's very common. The exact same words we use two very different ways, right? If my car is like falling apart and someone gets a brand new car and is like bragging about it, I'd probably be like, good for you. Yeah. I mean, like, I'm actually jealous and not that thrilled that like, yeah, you have this fancy car and I'm still driving it.

Right. And you're also signaling that you shouldn't brag like that or something like that. Yeah. A little bit of that. Like, can you stop bragging about something that's not great for me? Yeah.

Right. Yeah, there are literally two completely different meanings to this phrase. And it couldn't get more different. So we're going to make sure our listeners never make this mistake to not have this moment of disconnection, right? We want to make sure we're in connection. But first, Aubrey, I'd like to yell out a couple of listener reviewer names because we love our reviewers.

Yes, let's hear every single review. We are grateful. We read these. Often they have really nice compliments and we appreciate that. Yeah, I mean, they're very meaningful. We know you guys are out there listening to us. You're listening every day, but we're here working hard for you and we want to hear from you. What do you think about the show? How is it helping you?

So special shout out to Golnaz from the U.S. on December 30th. A five-star review there, Aubrey. Amazing. A special thank you to someone in China on December 28th. Also a five-star review. A special thank you to Claire Yin in Taiwan on December 26th. And another listener in Taiwan on December 19th, as well as Matias Mayor on December 18th.

amazing reviews here, Aubrey. So exciting. Yes, thank you so much, everyone who reviewed the podcast. We love that you are appreciating the way we teach our focus on connection, not perfection, and that you took the time to review because not only is it very meaningful for us, but it also helps others find our show. So that helps build our community, which is fantastic.

Yeah, so go ahead. If you want to hear your name announced out loud on the show, go ahead and leave a review wherever you listen, on the app, in the podcast, in Spotify. You can leave a comment on YouTube. These are all good ways to do it.

All right. Absolutely. Awesome. Well, let's dive into this vocab. As we said, it's used two very different ways. It depends on the context and your tone. So first, let's talk about when we're being sincere, like at the top of the episode, when you're like, good for you, way to be productive. That is the sincere way to use this. You really are very happy for them. You're sort of congratulating them for something. Maybe your friend wins the lottery. You might be like, I heard you won the lottery. Good for you.

I know. That would be so crazy. There is no chance that I'm being sarcastic or not very happy for them. And it could be. Like someone wins the lottery. I haven't won the lottery. I could say that sarcastically. So tone is very important here. Tone really matters. When both answers would work and be suitable and make sense, you really have to be especially careful.

Yeah. Lindsay, how would that sound if I won the lottery and you're not really happy for me? Maybe I'm really bragging about it. How would that sound sarcastically? I might say something like, oh, good for you, right? Exactly. You can hear how the tone is more annoyed, right? Oh, I heard you won the lottery. Good for you. You're almost annoyed by their presence, right? Totally.

And it probably would be more about them bragging about it because I would be happy for someone if they won the lottery. But if they're like really being obnoxious about it, then I might say this. Yeah. If they keep talking about it every time you see them and, oh, I'm not sure what I'm going to do with my winnings. Good for you. Right. So it's all about tone of voice.

Yeah. Any other examples here? Yeah, let's do another example here of sincere. This is often at work when someone is sharing an accomplishment, a success. You might say this, right? Maybe I can tell you worked really hard on this project. Good for you. And it's very much like, congratulations, well done. Yeah. And that's a good connection strategy. If you're at all worried that you're not going to

punched the intonation correctly, you could add another phrase like that. Oh, I can tell you worked really hard. Good for you, right? So you're adding more context. Exactly. Or another phrase after, right? Good for you. I know that's amazing. Something that makes it clear that you aren't being sarcastic, especially now that you know that this phrase can be used sarcastically and there's a good chance of misunderstanding. The more, like Lindsay said, the more you sort of add to make your meaning clear, the better.

This is such an important episode because it is a very common phrase and we need to know what are the liabilities here, right? Exactly. Okay, Aubrey, what would, okay, let's flip over now into the opposite meaning, which is sarcastic.

Let's talk again about when we might use this, if we're jealous of them, right? Exactly. You say this when you're not really happy for them or you're jealous or, you know, it implies maybe you're not having the same good fortune, right? For some reason, you are not really happy. So it's pure sarcasm. I would also say it could also just be you're just totally disinterested. You're just...

Good for you. I don't know. Sometimes where you just have to say something to respond. Do you use it in that way, Aubrey? Or is it just when you're jealous and you're trying to be sarcastic? That's a good point. I certainly hear it that way as well. Right? If someone's just like talking forever about what they've got going on or whatever, and I sort of zone out, maybe I pick up my phone, I might be like, good for you.

for you. You're totally just disconnected. You're sort of sending a signal to them that like they aren't really being appropriate in their level of bragging or yeah. That's just going to be a flatter delivery of the pronunciation. So the sarcastic one is flatter too, but it might be slightly different. But today we'll just, we'll focus more on the sarcasm here, right? The jealousy. It is kind of flatter that like, oh, good for you. I'm still like, I'm not really that happy for you. Or I would be

you know emphasizing it more good for you I'm happy for you yeah yeah yeah so for example you've been single a long time and someone tells you they're happily dating someone right you're a little jealous you can't help but feel jealous and you might even say it playfully right they're telling you they're so excited to be like good for you yeah but you're really saying like awesome I'm still single right

Yeah. You could still hear that hint of sarcasm in there. It's subtle, but it's in there. Or maybe you're out of work and someone tells you about their job or their promotion. Obviously, people should be a little less tone deaf when they share things.

Do you know what I mean? They should be smarter, who they're sharing things with, how they're sharing things. And it does depend on the relationship, right? Because if you don't know someone well and they tell you about it, they got a job or a promotion, this probably wouldn't really be appropriate to be like, good for you. But if it's your best friend or a family member, you're probably still excited for them and you might be sincere and genuine. But if they know you're out of work for a while and you have bragged a lot, then they might be like, good for you.

for you. Yeah, because while I've gone to 100 interviews and haven't heard back, yeah, because you know that they know that you're struggling in some way, and then they're still sharing this thing. And so it's hard to respond in a positive way to that sometimes. So we show that sarcasm, right? Exactly. All right. Do we want to share these options? Because, because

Because this is a little difficult, the intonation, hopefully you're hearing the difference in our voices. It is quite pronounced to be like, good for you. We're drawing out the words when we're sarcastic. But just like in Jorge's example, there is a chance that you don't intend it, that you say, good for you. And they assume you're being sarcastic when you're not. Because these exact words are used both ways, you might want to just avoid either intonation

And there are other options. If you want to make sure someone knows you're being sincere or like Lindsay was saying, add one of these. You could say good for you and then add what would be some options. Okay. So you could add I'm happy for you. Right. Good for you. I'm happy for you. Right. So that leaves no question in their mind that you're supporting them. Right. Exactly. You would never be like good for

you. I'm happy for you. No, that's not what we would just be strange, right? If you're going to add this, like, good for you. I'm happy for you. Then they know you're being sincere. Exactly. Or you could say, so happy to hear it. And this one's very native and natural, right? How good are you? So happy to hear it again. We often remove I'm there, right? And we just remove the subject and verb. So happy to hear it. For sure. And what's another one, Aubria, the simplest one we could do?

Or just to say congratulations, right? Good for you. Congratulations. Or eliminate good for you and whatever it is they're telling you. Oh, congratulations. That's awesome. Yeah. If you're still worried after this episode and you want to spend a few, maybe a few months just listening for this, the differences here, listening to native speakers before you utilize these two ways of using it, just try these in the meantime. These phrases we're giving you now. And then when you're ready, you can add in

a different variation of good for you. Yeah, absolutely. You're probably going to start hearing it on podcasts, on TV shows, because we do use it a lot. So listen to the intonation, listen to the difference to start recognizing it. I love it. You just realized that your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. When it comes to hiring, Indeed is all you need. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other sites.

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terms and conditions apply hiring indeed is all you need all right aubrey it is role play time such an important time for a role play when it comes to these two really different ways of delivering this yeah absolutely yes all right we're talking all right so i'll start us out oh yeah we're talking about our dogs in this one i love that we got a new puppy it's so cute for you i bet your kids are so excited they are they've always wanted a dog

puppies are a lot of work though it's nice that keifer is trained and has never had accents and never has accidents anymore good for you this puppy has accidents constantly so i know i should know as a dog owner that you're struggling with accidents right now because you just got a puppy right i should know that already and i'm rubbing in the fact that keifer never has accidents and that's not very good social skills number one

But we do sometimes forget, like we're removed, like this will happen. It happens to all of us, right? That we might accidentally "scrag" in air quotes about something that someone else is actually struggling. And this is a perfect way to use this where we're close, we're talking about our dogs, we have a good relationship. This is a perfect response. Good for you.

And hopefully I catch the tone there, right? My next response would be like, oh, you know, then, you know, he'll get through it. Your puppy will get through it. I promise. Some kind of encouragement. Totally. Or you might even be like, oh yeah, my bad. I forgot how tough puppies are or something like that. Yeah. Yes. Oh my gosh. I absolutely know this has happened. This does happen. So let's go through it, Aubrey. So the first one was positive, right? Because I'm really excited that you got a puppy. You said we got a new puppy. It's so cute. Good for you. I bet your kids are so excited.

Exactly. Yes. And adding that, I bet your kids are so excited, eliminates any chance of misunderstanding. Yes. Because there could be a child like, we got a new puppy. It's so cute. Good for you. Maybe you've wanted a puppy forever and haven't been able to get one. There is a chance that you would have a reason to use that sarcastically. But when you add this other phrase, I bet your kids are so excited, that eliminates that possibility. So smart for connection, right? Just reinforce the connection. Avoid any...

misunderstandings like what Jorge had. And then Aubrey, I said, puppies are a lot of work though. It's so nice that Kiefer is trained and never has accidents anymore. And then I used the sarcastic version. Good for you. This puppy has accidents constantly. And the tone is very different. We're drawing out the words. We're changing. We're adding that obvious sarcasm. Yeah. You're definitely drawing out the words. You're speaking a little slower. Yeah.

It feels very different. Okay. Sounds very different. Right. And so hopefully you will be able to start like changing your tone to making it clear, but better safe than sorry, add something else that makes it clear that you do really feel happy for them when you want to be sincere. Love it. We do have another episode we want to send you all to before we do our takeaway for today.

That is episode 2333, Vocabulary that is worth the trouble. Aubree, this was a good one because the word worth comes up a lot. Is something worth it? Yeah. Totally. We got this great question from a student about the difference between worth and worthy. Is it worth it? So that's another great vocab episode. Just scroll up, make sure you didn't miss that one. Check that out. And what's our takeaway for today? Where do we want to leave our listeners?

Yeah. It is such a good connection skill to be aware of the phrases in English that are used two different ways, very different meanings, so that you don't accidentally have a misunderstanding like Jorge did. It's so important to know about these, avoid them if you can, or really practice the intonation to make sure that you don't break connections in English. 100%. Connection is what matters. I'm sorry to Jorge that you had this scenario, but now we're all kind of able to learn.

here and thank you for sharing it right i would say that i would recommend for our listeners you've heard the intonation differences you know from us today but give it a little time just to start listening for this and start labeling is this person genuine or are they being sarcastic genuine sarcastic once you've heard it multiple times you can start to insert both kinds right i love that yeah sometimes being observant is the best first step to start to be really be careful to not um create these misunderstandings accidentally

Exactly. And if you love All Ears English, leave a review, guys. We want to hear what you think about the show. All right? Awesome. Hey, Aubrey, we'll see you next time. Have a good one. You too. See you next time. Take care. Bye.

Thanks for listening to All Ears English. Would you like to know your English level? Take our two-minute quiz. Go to allearsenglish.com forward slash fluency score. And if you believe in connection, not perfection, then hit subscribe now to make sure you don't miss anything. See you next time. Hair thinning can happen for so many reasons.

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