BE 409: Why You Should Not Tell Someone to Stay in Their Lane
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This is the Business English Podcast, Episode 409, Why You Should Not Tell Someone to Stay in Their Lane. ♪

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Hello, Aubrey. What's going on today? Not much. How are you, Lindsay? Good. I have a question. You ready? Yes. So Aubrey, how would you feel if someone told you to stay in your lane?

Ooh, I would definitely feel reprimanded and disrespected. I think it doesn't feel like a kind way. I feel like there are nicer ways that someone could tell me that. Yeah. It's a little bit abrupt. It's a little abrupt for sure. Right. Right. Interesting. Abrasive. And have you ever had to tell someone to stay in their lane? I mean, have you ever, or have you ever wanted to say that, but you, maybe you had to reword it because.

Yeah, I definitely wouldn't use that expression. We're going to talk about that today. Why this is just not the most respectful way or maybe thoughtful way to say that. But sometimes we do have to. This happened to me once when I was...

I was working on a sort of a committee with someone and there was someone who meant well, they were so thoughtful. They were always volunteering for everything, but then they didn't, they wouldn't get it all done because they just didn't have the time. Like they wanted to offer, but then they just wouldn't be able to get things done. So then it sort of came to the point where we needed to, whenever they would volunteer, we'd be like, thank you so much. But

let's have so-and-so do this. Cause right. Um, so it was kind of like, you need to stay in your lane. You need to realize the time you have and, and do what your strengths are and what you have time for. But I would never have said stay in your lane to them. Yeah. That's really interesting. I don't know why people overcommit, right. They overcommit to different, like,

activities or things. I find myself guilty of doing this too, right? You want to be reliable and dependable. You want to be seen as helpful and useful. And so you do find yourself over committing and then under delivering. It's awful. Not good. Not good. Right. So this is based on a, the first, we did a

a part one of this two-part series where's part one of this series yeah we will tell you at the end stay to the end because you can definitely listen to these out of order this was a student who asked about two expressions mind your business and stay in your lane so we already talked about mind your business here on the podcast we'll tell you at the end the number in case you missed it and today we'll focus on stay in your lane

what does that mean and why should you not say it to someone yeah mind your business and stay in your lane two very very well linked i guess connected topics right ideas but different so we're going to explore this one today yeah and also definitely potentially like offensive and rude like yeah there are better ways to say this yeah and so let's go over what it means again aubry what what exactly does stay in your lane mean

Yeah, so this means, you know, stick to or focus on what your area of expertise is, what you are good at, the tasks you are assigned to maybe. And it also is meaning, you know, avoid interfering with others' responsibilities or areas of knowledge.

And this does happen at work, right? Someone will be overstepping either because they think they're helping or maybe they don't really understand their role. So this is common that this needs to be messaged to someone. But stay in your lane. Stay in your lane is probably the worst way you could say it. Yeah, you would have to be really more thoughtful about how you approach that scenario, right? It probably would involve pulling other people in if something were happening repetitively.

Yes. So what can we do, though, instead of saying stay in your lane? I think we're in agreement that we shouldn't say this phrase. Right. But recognizing that the message needs to be conveyed. So we're going to talk about four different ways, sort of scenarios, where you might need to say something similar to someone and then the actual phrase you could use.

So the first scenario is when what you really need to convey is that it's not their strength. What they're offering to do is not really their area of expertise or not their strength. And you would want to emphasize the importance to focus on individuals' strengths. How can we say that? Okay. So let's see. I don't see a sample. Okay. I'll say it. It's here. We could say, let's leverage everyone's strengths. Okay.

by focusing on their specific areas of expertise. Yes, it sounds very fancy, right? It sounds very fancy. The word leverage is very high level, very businessy, right? Exactly. And there would be, depending on the scenario and the people, there would be more informal ways to say this, right? It might just be like, let's make sure everyone is...

using their time effectively. Let's definitely assign to, I can only think of leverage, but like to really use everyone's strengths. - I really like the word deploy. Like let's deploy everyone's strengths.

um that's just a creative use of a word we you know on allers english we've done different um assessments to try to figure out what our strengths are like strengths finder 2.0 i definitely recommend that assessment i think it's a great way to dig into what do you do naturally that you might consider easy but other but and you take it for granted

because it's easy for you, but it's not easy for others. - And then you also have those results almost as evidence of why you are assigning certain people to certain roles, right? Because we are deploying our strengths. - Yes, and that's a good thing to keep looking at over the years. Actually, that reminds me, we should review our StrengthsFinder results, Aubrey.

Right. Not a bad idea. I love it. Okay. What else, Aubrey? What else do we need to do? So the second sort of scenario would be if someone is sort of like the person that I knew who was offering to do everything, then you can come from sort of the, the,

mindset of suggesting a collaborative approach, recognizing that if we ask you to do everything, then it's not fair to you, right? That we need to work together. So maybe saying like, let's discuss with the team and find out what everyone's bandwidth is, find out what everyone else has room for, make sure we're all on the same page. Yeah.

yeah on the same page is a really nice chunk by the way for business that i love um it's very obvious what it means right away and everyone gets it but it's very native and natural too so use that one guys but yeah suggest a collaborative approach so you're going to come together talk through things with the team instead of just telling someone stay in your lane right

Exactly. Right. These are all like if we try to think of all of the times when we might need to tell someone basically stay in your lane, like what would be the actual scenario? What would be the goal? So then we know what to say instead, because this could come up in lots of different situations. For sure. And then the other thing we could do is address the issue directly. Right. So saying something like, I appreciate your point of view, but I think it's important to stick to our assigned roles for this project.

Okay. Yeah. So that might be if someone is saying like, okay, I'm already doing this, but I can help with that and that and that. And you, you know, you basically need to say, okay, stay in your lane. This would be a nicer way to do that. Yes. More respectful. I think it's a more respectful way to say that.

Yeah. And then what else could we do? What could be a fourth strategy? Yeah. So the fourth I'm envisioning, if someone is, you're wanting to say, stay in your lane because someone is jumping ahead too quickly. This happens a lot in meetings that we have a whole agenda. We have a lot of things we need to cover and someone wanting to jump ahead. And that might be

Something you need to convey to them. Right. And so to let them know that we need to focus on the task at hand might be one of these other scenarios. Right. To say, like, let's let's keep the focus on the current task or maybe, oh, we have more to flesh out with the current agenda item to let them know, like, don't be jumping ahead.

Okay, so this is a very different manifestation of why you would want to tell someone to stay in their lane, right? This is in the scenario of a meeting, which is different from if someone is trying to take

on different areas of expertise that is not their expertise broadly. Well, so my thought is it's sort of someone trying to hijack control of a meeting, which I have seen happen, right? If you sometimes it's more a stand up meeting, it's sort of collaborative. And one person is trying to jump ahead when other things need to be covered like this can happen. You wouldn't want to say just like, OK, stay in your lane. So and so's in charge or whatever. Right. It would be like, what? Why do we need

Why can we not jump ahead? Let's phrase it that way and share details about why it's important to flesh out what we're working on now.

I love it. I love it. So good. So that's really about someone tries to take over a meeting. I love it. Right. That can happen in the corporate world for sure. I think that topic actually came up in professional English level one, which is now live available for our listeners if they're interested in getting into it. That was something I asked Dakota about as well, I think, as Andrew was talking about that, what to do if that happens.

Yeah, because we're working with people with personalities who sometimes are all good leaders. Right. And if it's not clear who's leading, then it can become chaos or wasteful. So that's really good advice. Like, what would you do in that scenario? Yes, I love it. Super interesting. This episode is brought to you by Indeed.

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Okay, Aubrey, we're back for a role play. Shall we go for it? We are co-workers collaborating on a project. Okay. All right, I'll start us out. Yes. I could design the logo and then create a marketing strategy. Thank you for your willingness, but let's leverage everyone's strengths. You should definitely design the logo, but let's get Marcy and Carl involved in the marketing strategy. Sounds good. Should we move on to the plan for individual tasks? We have more to flesh out with this.

Who do you think has the bandwidth to handle the social media campaign? Yeah. Nice. So we have a couple of the scenarios here, right? Both of these, you could have said, okay, Aubrey, stay in your lane. But I would have really felt reprimanded and shut down. Whereas these ways of conveying that message, I still feel like

you know, supported and respected as a valuable part of the team. Oh my gosh. Yeah. And as a manager for our listeners, because many of you guys are managers or leaders in a company, the last thing you want to do is demotivate employees from being willing to speak up and offer ideas. You want to foster that environment, right? So this could be really demotivating if you say that stay in your lane, right? Right. I can't think of anything worse. Right. Yeah.

Exactly. So let's highlight what we said instead. Your first one here, because I had offered to design the logo and do the marketing strategy on my own. I'm sort of the person that I was on that committee with who was like wanting to do it all and wanting to help with everything. And so you said, oh, thank you for your willingness, but let's leverage everyone's strengths. You could design the logo and let's have these others involved on the marketing strategy. What a polite and respectful and collaborative way to say that.

I love that. I love that. And then you kind of...

I guess you're kind of, yeah, sort of hijacking the meeting a little bit here, right? I'm ready to move on. I'm like, okay, let's find out, like, what do I need to do for my individual tasks? It's like, okay, hold on. You're kind of pacing ahead of where I'm at in terms of the meeting pacing, right? So you said, oh, so, okay, should we move on to the plan for individual tasks? And I pulled you back and I said, wait, wait, wait, we have more to flesh out with this, right? So not, I think it's interesting that,

If the other, you know, if one of the other options is for you to say, okay, stay in your lane in order to let me know, like, I shouldn't be taking over the, you know, leading the meeting and deciding what's going to happen next. There isn't really any need to say that or reprimand someone. This is a good way to say that instead you're focusing on the task that needs to be accomplished instead of,

who is doing what and if they need to be reprimanded for that. Yes, I love it. So I think the takeaway for today is definitely stay away from this phrase, right? This is a what not to do episode today, Aubrey. Isn't it? Exactly, right? Our student asked about stay in your lane and I immediately was like, ooh, we don't want to say that, right? But you also need to know why. You may hear someone say this and you need to know what's implied, you know, and why should you not say it? What impression will that give your coworkers? Yeah, right.

It's always good to have a good what not to do episode. I think our listeners love that. Now, where is part one of this series?

Yeah, it was episode 405. Scroll up if you missed it. Rather not say how to avoid offending in business English. We taught alternatives to saying mind your own business. Yes. And again, stay away from stay in your lane. But there are so many other great ways to say things so you can maintain the relationships with your coworkers. Okay. Absolutely. Good stuff. Okay, Aubrey. Well, you have a nice day and I'll see you back here very soon. All right. Awesome. See you next time. Bye. Bye.

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