I Choose...YOU!
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I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. You're listening to I Choose Me with Jenny Garth. Hey, everyone. Welcome to I Choose Me. This podcast is all about the choices we make and where they lead us. Guys, this podcast has been such a gift to me in so many ways. I feel like since I've started, I've grown so much.

And I've gotten to talk to some really incredible people and share their stories with all of you and hear their choices. And we've formed this really beautiful community and I'm just loving it. And I'm having my, I choose me live events, but yeah,

I have to say, hands down, the best part about this podcast is being able to connect with you listeners on a deeper level than I ever have before. I love getting to see your comments and your feedback about episodes that we've done. Today, I want to make it all about you.

So I'm going to open up the mic today and we are going to get to know some of our beautiful listeners and see if maybe I can bestow any advice or wisdom their way, maybe learn a thing or two from them.

This is so fun. Okay, so let's just dive right in. Hi, Vicki. How are you? I'm fantastic talking to you. How are you? This is so exciting. Let's start with you listen to the podcast, obviously. Yes, I listen to both your podcasts. Okay, good, good. And how is this one resonating with you?

I really enjoy the women stuff. I'm a single mom raising a daughter and I love the women empowerment and I love hearing that from other women. So that's always like my, when I heard you were doing a podcast like that, I got very excited and I've been listening to you pretty much every week. So yeah, but I just like the women empowerment stuff that you've been doing, just making it okay that we're doing things that in the nineties people would like shy away at us and be like, you can't say that or you can't talk about that. Mm-hmm.

But it's our life and what we need to talk about, especially when you're raising young daughters. So that's what I really like about your podcast. Right. So you're a single mom raising your daughter. And am I correct in the fact that you lost your husband in 2023? That's correct. Yes. First of all, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you. I mean, words do nothing for that kind of pain. Right. No, but I appreciate it. And we need to acknowledge that you are still grieving like this.

You're in the thick of it right now, I'm sure. And I think it's something that it's important that you remind yourself that and allow yourself that grace to go through that, all the stages of it. And you don't, there's no time limit on it. Other people can do it their way. You have to do it your way.

You just need to cut yourself some slack and remember that. Thank you. Because it's not, people assume after a certain time, it's just like back to normal routine. It's not that easy. How did you lose your husband? By suicide. Oh dear. So tragic.

Yeah, it was, yes, very unexpected. No signs of anything, just some business issues with COVID and getting out and overcoming the business issues with COVID as it was ending. And I went to work one day and I couldn't, I was texting him and calling him and he wasn't answering. And then I went home and the cops came and they

Let you know. So, but I made my, I knew the cops were on their way over. So my mom took my daughter out of the house. She was only three. I didn't want her to be there for any of that. So it was just me alone when they told me. So that was, that was really terrible. Oh, Vicki, I want to give you a hug.

I appreciate that. When they came over, I didn't think they were telling me that. I thought they were coming because I filed the missing persons. I didn't know that they were going to say that. So I just didn't want my daughter to see like two police officers and get scared and she's young and whatnot. So yeah, I wasn't expecting that news, which is why I told my mom to leave. So yeah. So it'll be two years in February. Oh my goodness. Well, I'm sending you so much strength and love.

Just knowing that there are people out there that believe in you, that you can get through this and you can do this and you can overcome this. I'm one of those people. So I'm here with you. I have a very good, I'm very fortunate. I have a very good village.

That's important. Yeah, it's I couldn't do without it. Yeah. You asked a question about how do I make time for myself and still be a present mom? Was that your question? Yes, because being a parent and having time for your own sanity or is not an easy thing. And sometimes they're just really difficult.

they're really present and you just need a break. And it's not in a month from now when I can finally get like a babysitter and get time off. It's like right in that moment, you need the break. So that's kind of where I was like asking what you did. In that moment when you're like at the verge, you're up to here. Yes. Because there like, there is no, like, I'm going to leave the house because I can't because I'm by myself. So what do you do? Cause it's sometimes, you know, when they're,

any age, they really can find a way under your skin. Oh yeah. So your daughter's five now about, right? My daughter's, she's in kindergarten. Yes. Oh, well at least you have kindergarten. At least she goes to school for, I don't know if she's half day, full day yet, but thank God for kindergarten. Yeah.

Okay, good. Yeah. I, you know, in those, I can relate because there have been times when I know when my kids were little and I was raising three little girls, basically on my own because their dad would be away a lot of the time filming movies.

He would be working out of town and I would be there with them. And yeah, you reach the point where your blood starts to boil and you're like, I don't know how to handle this. I don't want to lose my shit, basically. 100%. The only thing you can do in that moment is take some deep breaths, maybe go out.

of the room for a minute if you can. I know they sometimes follow you. I've done that before. She she'll follow and I'll be like, is I just need you not to follow right now. And then she'll be like, but you're upset. And then she keeps it going. And then she gets more upset. So but yes, I the deep breathing is definitely something that is always helpful when I actually remember, remember to do it. Because as we all know, in the heat, we're all like, just flabbergasted. Right.

But yeah, and definitely walking away is definitely always a, if you can. I always thought like when someone would give me that advice, take a deep breath, I'd be like, okay, that's really going to help. And obviously I'm not going to remember to do that in the moment, like you just said. But the fact of the matter is the more you use it, the more it becomes like something that is right there in your pocket to pull out. So it might feel foreign in the very beginning to like,

take a deep breath and have that moment to yourself. And because you want to do something else, that's a little bit seems of what, like it will be more productive. But the more you try doing that in your moments of like the height of your stress, it does start to help. And like, it will be come your go-to in those moments. And another, I mean, another thing is

You just said like your daughter's old enough for you to, she understands when you're upset. She understands if you're dealing with some emotions, it sounds like. Yes. I think a good thing for me would have been to like explain to her, mommy's having some feelings right now or mommy's feeling frustrated right now. I just need to have two minutes to myself and I'll be right back, you know, and just see how like communicating is,

your needs in that moment with her affect her because you might be surprised. I've never done that. Actually. Yeah. That sounds like a really good idea. I've never done that. I never told her just to give me space for a minute. I usually just say like, it's more of a yell and as opposed to saying it like the way you just said it, just like calmly try to explain it and, and see how that goes. Like maybe, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't. But I know also too, for me in my moments of when my girls were little and I was dealing with so much and I

feeling frustrated at the same time in the moment, my emotions or my feelings, I might project them onto my kids or whatever I'm dealing with in that moment exacerbates just the littlest thing. Like my daughter, when she was little, that age, she had to have her socks on a very specific way. And if her socks were crooked in the slightest, she would freak out and have a whole thing.

So I did whatever I could to get the socks on right, first of all. Yeah, of course. Anything to avoid the freak out in the morning before school. Oh, yeah, yeah. But I think...

I had to remember to not project my stuff onto the kids. And that's really, really hard to do, especially when you're doing it alone. In the morning, when you're getting ready for school and work, they're like, you know, at a snail's pace. And when you're trying to get them to go a little faster, then that's like my daughter this morning actually was like, my socks aren't right. It feels funny. I'm like, just move it. And she was like, no, it still feels funny. I'm like, okay, let me come help you with the sock. And she's like, no, you didn't do it right. I'm like, okay.

OK, so can you try? I went back and forth about her sock, ironically enough, like two or three minutes. And then finally, I must have moved it just the right inch. And she's like, OK, my socks on good now. I'm like, OK, great. Let's go.

But it was like the most random. I was like, I didn't do anything different. Yeah. They have no idea what they're doing to our nervous system in those moments. I can still relate. My daughter Fiona was the same way. And I would have to do some major deep breathing with her just to get through those moments and not lose it. And sometimes I just actually walked away. I had to walk away. If it was about something as trivial as a sock not being on right.

I would say, you know what? I'll be in the car. When you figure it out, you can join me or I'll be in the other room. You let me know when you're ready to go and just remove yourself from it. You know, they're safe. They're, you know, that it's not going to be, you know, nothing bad's going to happen. So you can walk away.

But it's just removing yourself from it and letting them figure it out because they need to learn to self-regulate like that in those moments where they are having those panics and freak outs. There's nothing you can usually do. It's usually something they need to do for themselves and something they need to learn to do for themselves. Yeah, no, 100%. And, you know, I really think that just you remembering to take care of yourself and have some alone time and self-care.

in place is really helps you to show up effectively and be your best mom in every moment and specifically those moments. Yeah. I'm a big TV person. That's like my most relaxing thing to do. And my husband used to say to my daughter, if she's watching 90210, you can't talk to her, even though she's seen him 7000 times. And

And so my daughter now says, do you still watch 90210? I'm like, I can't believe you remember daddy making those 90210 jokes at me because I've seen every episode 12,000 times. And so now like I will put on 90210 sometimes and sometimes I'll put on like other shows and I'm like have all my series that I'm watching. And when I tell her like just go in your room and play and I can like watch TV for even 20 minutes alone, it for some reason calms me. Yeah.

And like brings me back to normal more than anything else in the world. I don't know what it is about television shows and getting lost in it or what the deal is, but I just feel so much, so much better. Definitely. I mean, that's the beauty of TV. I think the way it helps some people just sort of escape whatever's going on in their world and just really focus in on what they're watching and their characters that they love so much.

And that's great that you've pinpointed it, that that's your thing. Oh, 100%. Like all the, like anytime. Yes. And if it's, you know, like I have like got my go-tos and then I have like the stuff I haven't actually watched yet because I actually read something where they said, like, if you get anxious about something, there's very, it's something very comforting about watching a show you've seen 12,000 times. So like 90210 or Friends or Big Bang Theory, you know.

Yeah. Oh yeah. A hundred percent. So it's always like an interesting, it's always interesting just to be like, it's still entertaining me, but I know exactly what's going to happen. It's like comfort food, you know, like sometimes you just need to give it to yourself.

But I do just think, you know, like little things like just start with when you're at home and, you know, you're in those moments, give yourself five minutes of reprieve, you know, even five minutes can help reset your nervous system and just get you back to a base where you can show up and be there as an effective and authentic, loving mom that I see that you clearly are.

Thank you. But I just think that you, and you said you have a foundation of people around you that support you. Yeah, I have my mom, sisters, a lot of unbelievably close friends that are really somewhat far away, but they're still very, very supportive and very helpful. And it keeps me sane. Yeah, being able to reach out to them.

when you just need a little break, when you need some, some advice or need somebody to just cheer you on or pick you up. It's so important. So you're doing great. Thank you. Yeah. I think you're doing great. And then, you know what? Every day is a new day. Even if you suck at being great one day, or if you, if you're not your best, you don't show up your best, you know, one day it's okay. Give yourself a break and know that,

And in the morning, it's a new opportunity to put your best foot forward and try again. You know, it's all we can do. Just keep trying. Yeah. No, you're absolutely right. Yeah.

I love that. Well, thank you very much. Listen to the podcast and find support in me, I hope, or watch the old show, whatever I can do. I do. I work 45 minutes away from where my daughter goes to school. So on my car rides there to and from, I put on, that's like my podcast time, which is also extremely helpful. It's like a television. So it's just like just me and my podcast. I have like my whole, I have like an order. I watch them in every week. It's a whole thing. Okay, good. I'm so glad to be on your roster. You're on my roster twice. Oh.

Vicki, so nice talking to you. Wait, wait, I want to ask you a question. What was your last I choose me moment? Finding time to do your podcast. Finding time to come talk to me. Yeah, I was so excited. I was like, no matter what's happening, I'm going to do Jenny Garth's podcast. This is the coolest thing ever. Perfect.

And you're at work right now. Besides that, I'm at work. Yes. My boss knew I'm actually in her office. She was like, oh my God, that's so cool. So yes, like I was like not messing around with doing your podcast. Well, tell your boss I said thank you. I'm sure she'll listen. Thank you for listening and thank you for just being you.

Thank you. And thank you for everything you're doing. I see all the stuff you're doing, the women's lunches you're having and the I Choose Me. It's really, really, really helpful to all women just to hear it all the way around because we're all in this together. Your platform is much different than, let's say, mine. So it really is a great thing the way you're using it. And I really appreciate it. I'm so glad. Thank you. That means so much to me. Have a great day. You too.

I'm Jason Alexander and I'm Peter Tilden and together on the really no really podcast our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor we got the answer will space junk block your cell signal the astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer we talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth plus is

Does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That's what I'm talking about.

Wow. Very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Rendy, hi. Hi, how are you? I'm good. It's so nice to meet you. You too. It looks like you're at your place of work. I am, yes. It's in the middle of the workday. Thank you so much for taking time out to talk to me. What's your question?

Okay, so I listened to your podcast on Jenny's Journals and you talked about an incident with your daughter. She was upset, calling you a narcissist. And so you talked about being able to just let your kids feel their emotions and vent without taking it personally. I want to know how you do that. Oof, it's hard because we are moms. We give them everything we have.

And then they just tromple on it, scrunch it up and throw it back at us like in a wad. Sometimes, you know, we live for those moments when we get the snuggles and I love yous and the thank yous. Yeah. But we can't control how often those come. And I found myself just having to really forget that.

That they were ever going to come just to, you know, to be able to give unconditionally and be that mom that, that consistent, even when they're a little shitheads, we consistently love them no matter what, like unconditionally. And I think it's so important that.

We adopt that mindset because it's really important to give our children that safe place to vent where they know they're not going to be judged. And it really gives them that opportunity to process all the emotions that they're feeling because there's so much being thrown at young people today. And I don't myself know how they handle it as well as they do most of the time. And I'm, you know, like I sit there and look at them and think, wow, you're amazing. Yeah.

that you're getting through all of this. But it's really important to remind them that it's okay to vent. It's okay to let it all out sometimes. And I always say to my girls, listen, I'd rather you...

come home and treat me badly or disrespect me than going out there and doing it to your peers or your teachers or people that you work with or whatever their circumstances are, because I'm always going to love you no matter what. And I think when they know you're always going to love them no matter what and not judge them, because I've seen the damage it can do when a parent judges somebody for having their feelings. Yeah.

And the damage that I see that that does makes me just want to be more of a sounding board for them, you know, just be more loving and unconditional and understanding when they have to have those eruptions because they have to let it out, you know? Right. Yeah. There's a book called The Four Agreements. Have you heard of it? I...

No, it's called The Four Agreements. It's a tiny little book. I'm fully blanking on the author and I can't see that far to see the title of it, but it's right up there on my bookshelf. That is a book that was the foundation for me to really stop taking not just stuff from my kids personally, but anything personally in life, because that's so damaging to walk around and take everything personally when nothing actually matters.

needs to be taken personally. Everybody's doing their own thing. Nobody's thinking about how it's going to affect you. So I think that reading the four agreements was a huge step for me. And that's one of the agreements and it is take nothing personally. Okay. That might help. I don't know. I'll look into that. Thank you. Another thing that I always said to my girls, this is another little thing that I did when they were in their deepest, darkest moments of despair or their biggest feelings, you know, like

I would just sit and listen and not interrupt and just continue to listen. Even when there was silence, I wouldn't say anything. I would just sit there until they keep talking. And then when it was all out, I would say, you know what? I really wish I had a magic wand that I could wave and fix all of this for you, but I don't. And I think in me acknowledging that even I wish I could fix everything, but I can't help them to sort of self-regulate and realize, oh, I

okay, even my mom can't do anything about what's happening in this moment, but everything's going to be okay because I still feel loved. Yeah. So that would be what I would do with my, you know, what I've done in my life with my girls and, and,

You know, you have to be like, like a duck or like Teflon, just let it roll right off of you because they love you so much. They just have so much else going on and they got to get it out. And if it's got to get out, I'd rather it come to me first so they can feel that support and that love because if they vent on other people, it's not going to feel the same for them.

Right. Yeah. Great viewpoint. Thank you. I appreciate that. But go cry. I mean, sometimes it hurts. They hurt your feelings. They're soul crushers. They suck it out of you. Like all the things, being a mom is so hard on top of being a human, you know, and you're just figuring it out just like they are. We're all figuring our lives out as we go. And oftentimes, you

I'll say to my kids, like, I've never done this before. I've never been right here in this moment before. So I don't have all the answers and I don't know the right thing to say, but I know that I love you. And I know that everything is going to be okay because we're together and we have each other. I appreciate that. Yeah. You got it. I hope that helps. Thank you. I appreciate it. Really. Thank you for being on. Yeah, most definitely. Thank you for allowing me this opportunity. I love it. Wait, wait, wait. I have to ask you. Oh, yeah.

Brandi, what was your last I choose me moment? So as a mom of five and a full-time employee, my choose me moment was going back to school full-time on top of all that fun stuff. So yes, I will be starting on Chico state next, uh, next semester, January to start my bachelor's in social work. Amazing. How do you find time? Wow. I really don't. I just figure it out. It just, you just do it.

Do it. Yeah. I love that. You know, you're not afraid. That's what it takes to succeed, you know, in life is to find out what you want to do and do it. And don't let all the little, you know, obstacles keep you from doing it. Amazing. You're such a great role model for your kids. Thank you. Thank you. You're welcome. I love you. Have a great day. All right. Thanks. Bye. Bye.

Hello, how are you, Patricia? I'm good. How are you? I'm so good. You're calling in from Redlands, California. I am, but I'm actually caretaking for my sister who's having spinal surgery right now. So I'm actually in Arizona, but that's where I do reside is in Redlands. Okay. Well, that's a, you're a very good sister, first of all.

It comes with the territory of being an RN, you know, happy to do it. Oh, that would be nice to have a sister that's an RN. I see that. I see that. What's your question? Yeah. Thank you so much. So I was asking is how is a woman, have you been able to temper between being vulnerable and strong? What things would you say are,

Can you pull out of your tool belt that, you know, keep you grounded, give you joy? Well, I think that in order to even have access to tools in your tool belt or, you know, even the capacity to be able to be strong and or vulnerable, you need to start by practicing self-care.

You need to start with yourself. You need to prioritize the activities and the things in your life that nourish you, that nourish your mind and your body, like exercise and healthy eating, getting enough sleep. Really remembering to take care of yourself will inevitably make you this strong platform where you can be anything you want to be really. And if you want to be strong, strong,

And vulnerable at the same time, a lot of people might think that those two things don't coexist together. But the fact is, you know, being strong is a sign of being vulnerable. You have to be vulnerable in order to be strong. And vulnerability is often thought of as a weakness, I think, especially in women. You know, vulnerability kind of got a bad rap a long time ago when actually women

Being vulnerable is just about letting people get to know the real you and not covering stuff up, you know? Yeah. Authenticity for sure. Absolutely. When you are who you are, people can see it and smell it and feel it a mile away. Yeah. And I've, I've learned when you talk people up,

Not being phony or fake, but when you can genuinely celebrate with somebody else's win and not find any joy in cutting people down. It just, I don't know, there's just something good about being able to talk someone up or to compliment somebody, finding something in them.

the good in someone. Yeah, I love that. I love that. I remember that point in my life as I grew up. I don't even know how old I was, but I decided I don't want to gossip about people anymore. I don't want to talk badly about anyone anymore because it doesn't feel good. And I'm sure it wouldn't feel good to them. Yeah. And really you're reciprocating that joy of

Giving something nice, you know, treating people the way you would want to be treated. Yeah. I love that. I think that comes down to just being an active listener too. I think listening to other people is a great place to focus, you know, a lot of your energy because that's like the foundation of being able to give of yourself to others is to fully understand where they're coming from or what they're feeling and,

In any given moment? Yeah, the gift of active listening, it really, it's, you can pick up a lot in that without even saying a word. And being still and being present. Mm-hmm.

Is really a verb. It's an action. It is. And you can very much engage with eye contact and leaning in and a touch without a word. Sometimes that has more effect. I mean, you know all the tricks already. Being an RN, it sounds like you are used to comforting people, comforting others, taking care of other people. Are you able to turn that in on yourself? Yeah.

Very much. I've been able to, you know, even caretaking for my sister now. You know, it's been a discipline to still, I'm getting out and doing the walk in the morning before she wakes. I love that. Yeah, getting that sunshine with my doggie, you know.

I don't have to be strong all the time for her without me reciprocating something. I have to fill my tank. So it's really about I have to give from overflow. So if it means going for that walk, if it means finding time to have my devotions, I

you know, even this right now, you know, this is a little escape, but it's, but it's a joy and it's, you know, with my favorite actress, you know, who I was brought up with and, you know, I love it. And, and so it's a joy and, you know, that's a joy that I'll share with her when I go back to her. So, you know, I am happy to be something that fills your cup. Yeah.

It sounds like you are doing all the right things in life because you have a feeling. I get this just general feeling of peace and love from you and confidence, like an inner quiet, beautiful confidence and not boastful. Like I just feel like you're the real deal. So I think we can all learn a lot from you. It's life is fragile and people are fragile. I've really learned that. And, um,

And I want to do some medical missionary work next year. And so you do have to be authentic, but you always have to fill your tank and you can't give without you having the abundance in your heart. You know, you having the joy it's, I don't do well being phony or fake. And, and I want to be able to see people get better, but it's,

Um, but I want to do it being present and, um, and, and I have to use all my senses, my eyes, ears, you know, listening without even them saying a word, listening to their respirations. So, um, you know, being at a hundred percent, um,

I have to make sure that I'm on point with me having my own private time. And, you know, I mean, just enjoying the shower a little longer, you know, really enjoying that hot cup of tea with the honey and all of those essential things. And, you know, exercising is vital. So, yeah, it's a gift. It's

It's a gift that God has given me, but it's also a gift to share. And then when people get better, you know, that's a good one too. Yeah. Your work there is done. I love that. You feel so grateful too. Like I feel like a lot of foundation for you taking care of you is being grateful for, like you said, that hot cup of tea or that longer shower. Yeah.

You know, I just took a picture on the side and I'm doing a grateful, you know, every day on my, you know, Instagram and Facebook. And so my Instagram post tomorrow is going to be like a grateful day. Number 21. I made the list.

You know, those little things, you know, they matter. They matter. I think just like, you know, having conversations with like-minded people, people that have the same priorities as you do. I think that's real. That also can be a form of self-care. So.

I'm so happy to be that way.

you know, if not faster, you know, but yeah, and also people that are willing to come alongside you and, and maybe slow down in order to pick up the pace with them, you know, no good leader is good without them knowing how to be a part of the group. So I think that you touched on two really important things. One is surrounding yourself with like minded people, but also

also somebody that's even better than you. Like, like my best friend Adele is the best person I know. And I try to be like more like Adele, like on a daily basis, I think to myself, what would Adele do in this moment? And just also in a, in business, just surrounding yourself with people that are more accomplished than you or more have more experience than you and just,

Keeping yourself around people that are bringing you up and not pulling you down. And I know as I, when I entered my fifties, that was sort of a time for me to clean house a little bit and really assess those relationships that weren't checking off all the boxes. I had quite a number of relationships that were checking off some of the boxes. Sure. But those boxes, like the positivity boxes,

And the gratitude and then just that leading with love and kindness, those moments, those boxes, I really, those are so important to me in the people that I surround myself with. And I think that, you know, sometimes I just, I just touched upon this the other day about, you know, looking at the fall behind me, there's sometimes different seasons for certain people. And we don't realize when sometimes those friendships like,

they've overstayed their visit and whether you have grown beyond that friendship, whether, you know, you're two people are in different places in life. And, and it's almost like you want to stay just to preserve it, but it's almost, it's almost like square peg round hole. Like it's not working like it did before. And it's, and it's okay to let things go, but you know, if it's meant to be, it'll come back.

Absolutely. I mean, it's really hard to let go of friendships because, you know, friendships take a lot of nurturing, a lot of energy and oftentimes a lot of time, you know, years, time spent. And it's really, really hard to let things go. And yeah, I've had to do that in my life a number of times and just go ahead and go through the grieving process with that too. Because when you do decide that a friendship has reached you,

you know, it's life expectancy for you. It's hard to make that decision and to give yourself some credit and grace and love and support in making that tough decision because it's not easy. Boy, bringing Princess Grace, that's a tough one. Oh, yeah. That's all we need, though. It's a little grace. Yes. If we've received it, we definitely should share it with ourself and others.

I have to ask you, Patricia, before I let you go, what was your last I choose me moment? The last I choose me moment was...

reaching out to someone who has been wanting to speak with me. And so I decided that I'm going to be open to choosing love. Oh my God. I'm so excited right now. I can, I'm so, I can tell what the way you're talking, that this is uncharted territory and you're feeling a little vulnerable and I love it for you. Yeah, it's, it's definitely, um, you know, these are different times and, um,

So being able to be, use wisdom with that, without letting your heart get carried away. And, but I, but I also don't want to be living in hesitation. And, and I do want, I do want to share love as well as receive it, you know, because that's what we're made for a partnership. And so, yeah. I'm so excited. This sounds like a whole new chapter for you that you're just kind of cracking open the pages too. Yeah.

And it starts with that, with being open. That's all you got to do for right now is just be open. Yes. And one thing I always, when I would start to get involved or like my mind would get ahead of reality or my heart would get ahead of reality, I would just remind myself, we'll see. We'll see. I had a therapist tell me to just keep that in mind. Like when you think about that person, just think, we'll see. Never know.

Yeah, you know, it's uncharted territory, but it's good. It's all good. And I'm looking forward and anticipating great things. This person is extremely lucky. You're an amazing human. You're just awesome. Thank you for sharing yourself with us. Likewise. Likewise. And thank you for sharing your gift of just...

You know, you've taken just so many different levels of who you are in life. And just this platform is really a great way for people to see who you are. But you're also...

it's just, you're always evolving. I love that. I love that in people because you just see different sides and, and, um, you know, it's been a joy and it's been fun to just see your, you know, different ways that, you know, you're contributing and, you know, the world is a lucky place to have you girl. Oh, you got to keep on trucking. That's what I say. Thank you, Patricia. Good luck on your new adventure. Yeah.

Thank you. Take care. Bye.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus...

Does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That?

It's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Hi, Sarah. How are you? I'm good. Thank you. How are you? I'm great. I'm better now to be talking to you. This is so much fun. Yeah, this is exciting. Getting to see the people that listen to the pod and...

Yeah, absolutely. Good. What's your question? What do you want to talk about? Yeah. So my question was really around your decision to make your hair replacement surgery public. So what was that tipping point for you on how much to keep private and when's an appropriate time to share and when is that value in sharing? Mm hmm.

Yeah, I held on to that secret for a while because I had to think it through. I had to really be sure that I wanted to share something so deeply personal. I think the tipping point for me is always, I just have to go back to being myself and being honest. And I think that when we are authentic and honest about who we are and what we're going through in our lives, there's this beautiful simpatico-like feeling

kismet-y relationship that you form with people that you don't even know, but that people that can, you come in contact with, however, however that happens, people feel that and, and it resonates and it's like a reciprocal thing. So for me, it was just about sharing all of who I am with people and

So that they can really be all of who they are with the people in their lives and just sort of like reinforcing the fact that it's okay to be authentic. It's okay to be flawed. It's okay to have things on our bodies that are different and breaking down and, you know, how aging affects all of us. We're all the same. And just because, you know, maybe you saw me on TV in the 90s and maybe you've grown up watching me or whatever. You think I'm a famous la la la, whatever. We're all the same. Yeah.

And I think that that is always just what I want out of anything I do in life is to just have that mutual like connection. Yeah. Yeah. No, and I appreciate it so much because totally different scale and like life application, but you know, I, I have a job and I run a large team. And so I,

Running that team and having those connections with people that work for me and work with me and finding that balance on where I'm comfortable sharing and I want to be authentic, but where I'm going to draw the line and kind of protect just my personal information is something I think a lot of us wrestle with just in different aspects and avenues of everyday life. So that was really... I think definitely, especially women in business, women in leadership roles.

We think we have to be perfect. We have to have these unrealistic standards that everybody needs to look up to. But I find more often than not that when I'm authentic and when I am my true self, flaws and all, the people that work for me and with me and around me feel that more of an authentic connection and then are somehow invested more in me

whatever the work is that we're doing together. Yeah. So it makes them connect on even a deeper level when they know who they're working with and for, you know, they develop a different kind of passion, but I can totally relate and hear you and think there've been a lot of times in my life where if I have an employee, you know,

People say, don't get too close to your employee. Don't be friends with them. You're the boss. Remember that. I know I'm the boss. Like that's not, I'm, you know, I don't need to be reminded. I don't need them to know that. They know that too. But I think when you connect with people on that real level,

And that level that we're all the same. We're all going through the same shit. Yeah. And it's okay to talk about it with one another if we need support or if we just want to share with somebody, you know, it's okay. Like it doesn't make you not a strong leader.

Right. Right. No, I appreciate it. I think that's, that's really valuable input and insight to have. Yeah. So thank you. You're so welcome. Sierra, what was your last I choose me moment? I don't have enough. I choose me moments. I hear that a lot. It's okay. Yeah. So, you know, working mom to teenagers, life is busy. So I've been trying to just do simple things like on the weekend, you

get a manicure even if it makes me late for a basketball game or so I'm just kind of focused on the little things. I think one of the things I said to myself is I'm going to take more intentional time in the morning to be kind to myself because

We have to be perfect. We have to be super mom. We have to be, you know, the best employee ever and all the things. And so I'm hard on myself. I push myself hard. I drive hard. And so I think just giving myself more peace, especially as I start the day with that, like intentionality will actually help me get through, you know, the rest of the year. And because I kind of do things in sprints, right? Like the finish lines. Me too. Like, let me get through this and then I'll get through that. And then I'll get through that. Yep. Yep.

Yeah. And it just makes it a little bit more manageable. Yeah. Like that's kind of like compartmentalizing our, like our to-dos, you know, but you're right. It, we need to start with that foundation of like self-care and self-love in order to be able to handle all those things. Right. Right. And then I think it's also important as a parent to be modeling that, right. To, to show my kids that I, I care about myself and I take care of myself and I matter. And that I, you know, I won't run myself into the ground. Um,

because I don't want them to. And you want to be there for them. And if you run yourself into the ground, who's going to be the mom? Right, right. Yeah. I think there's so much more riding on the importance of self-care and self-love than we ever thought before. And I'm so happy that it's like,

coming to the forefront of people's minds finally. Yeah. Yeah. It makes a big difference. Yeah. We've reached the point where we acknowledge like, oh my God, this is unsustainable. Like what this life that I'm trying to fool people, this Instagram life that I'm trying to show everybody, it's so unrealistic and it's wearing me thin. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, and I think people see, you know, even I would do funny things with the back to school pictures, right? I would post two side by side, the one for Insta, which is like the kids standing there smiling, looking all happy. And then the one that was the first one on the reel where they're like pulling at each other and there's signs flying everywhere. Because people do just appreciate that this, you know, this picture perfect, it doesn't exist. And putting it out there as a standard for each other is not helpful. It's not helpful. I know. It's awful. Yeah.

It's just that thing that makes us compare our lives to other people, like take over. Yeah. It's like a disease almost in your brain. It just...

consumes you when you start scrolling. Yeah. I love it. So starting with the little things is a perfect way to like enter into that world of choosing yourself and feeling comfortable choosing yourself. Yeah. Because you can feel a little uncomfy sometimes. For sure. I'm so happy that you're doing that.

And you're modeling for your parents. You're doing great, Sarah. Keep it up. I love it. Thank you. Appreciate it. You bet.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together on the Really No Really podcast, our mission is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like... Why they refuse to make the bathroom door go all the way to the floor. We got the answer. Will space junk block your cell signal? The astronaut who almost drowned during a spacewalk gives us the answer. We talk with the scientist who figured out if your dog truly loves you and the one bringing back the woolly mammoth. Plus...

Does Tom Cruise really do his own stunts? His stuntman reveals the answer. And you never know who's going to drop by. Mr. Bryan Cranston is with us today. How are you, too? Hello, my friend. Wayne Knight about Jurassic Park. Wayne Knight, welcome to Really, No Really, sir. Bless you all. Hello, Newman. And you never know when Howie Mandel might just stop by to talk about judging. Really? That?

It's the opening? Really, no really. Yeah, really. No really. Go to reallynoreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. It's called Really, No Really, and you can find it on the iHeartRadio app, on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. We want to speak out, we want to raise awareness, and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful.

I'm Ellie Flynn and I'm an investigative journalist. When a group of models from the UK wanted my help, I went on a journey deep into the heart of the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a playboy model. Lingerie, topless. I said, yes, please. Because at the centre of this murky world is an alleged predator.

You know who he is because of his pattern of behavior. He's just spinning the web for you to get trapped in it. He's everywhere and has been everywhere. It's so much worse and so much more widespread than I had anticipated. Together, we're going to expose him and the rotten industry he works in. It's not just me. We're an army in comparison to him. Listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Hi, Melissa.

How are you? Good. How are you? I'm so happy to talk to you. I'm so happy to talk to you. Okay. So you're 49. You're from Marion, Iowa. Yes. And I love it. Yes. Midwestern. Okay. Midwestern. Absolutely. And I am the baby of the family like you. So yep. Very similar. Very similar. Yes. Cool. That's so cool. What is your question? What do you want to talk about? Oh, lots, but we'll just start with one. I

I just wanted to know, like, I really started, well, obviously I've followed you since I've been 15. So watching Beverly Hills 90210. So I just, I just have started following you and I choose me podcast and everything that you've talked about has been such an inspiration. And I turned 49.

And really, Jenny, I woke up and I was like, who am I as a person? Right. Like how like I like I hit that early. I know you talked about it, like, you know, hitting closer to 50. And I was like, I'm 49. And, you know, I am going through I had a couple of relationship changes in my life and I was looking at who am I like, where do I want to be? And so I just kind of wanted to

like pick your brain and have the opportunity to talk to you about like, how do you, you've reinvented yourself so many times in your life and such an inspiration and you've truly stayed true to who you are as a person. And I love that. And I just want to know like, how, how have you done that? And how have you been so successful in everything that you've done? Oh, that's good questions. Good questions. It's tricky. It is. Life is a roller coaster. There are ups and there are downs.

And we all go through it. I think for me, acknowledging that there are ups and downs is really comforting because I never try to hold myself up to some unrealistic, every day is a perfect sunny day. I allow myself to have my moments that I need to just sort of

recoil and maybe hide and lick my wounds and, you know, heal myself before I peek back out into the world. I mean, reinventing yourself is, it doesn't mean erasing or discarding your past or who you truly are. It's, it's taking the core. Yeah.

Of who you are and just breathing fresh life into it, you know? Absolutely. So for me, that just means that looks like getting really quiet sometimes with myself. But yeah, I think it's just giving myself that space to get quiet and think about,

Who am I? Where do I come from? What are my morals, like on a core level? What do I stand for in life? What do I want to be remembered? How do I want to be remembered by the people that truly know me and love me? Yeah. How do you make sure that you practice grace and you give yourself grace and choose kindness, even in those moments of weakness that I just feel like

Yeah. It's just so, yeah. Like you're such an inspiration in that level of everything that you've even been vulnerable and shared about your opportunities and things that have happened. And I, and I'm so blessed. I work hard. Like I said, I have those Midwestern values, but you know, sometimes it's just like, yeah, it's, it's hard. It's hard. There's no, let me ask you a question. Do you feel like you're failing somehow when you have these moments of like, who am I and what am I doing and what do I want? Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Like, I just feel like I'm so hard on myself about like I've been like I said, I've worked very hard my whole entire life. I am. I have an amazing career. I'm really, really happy. I just am like empty nesting. You know, the kids are gone. It's like one of those things of like now you're like, OK, you know, who am I? Who's my husband? What does this look like? And, you know, that next chapter of like all of those things that are just so amazing and

And I just think that I'm just struggling with like, how do I stay true to who I am as a person and then make sure that I'm taking care of those around me still. And it's just, yeah. So it's just, it's such a, yeah, I think it's like that 49 age where I'm just like, I don't know. It just seems so weird. Like I didn't bother me when I hit 30, didn't bother me when I hit 40 and all of a sudden 49. It hits differently. Yep. Yeah.

The older you get, everything hits differently. And that's the beauty of it all is because there's so much evolution that happens in your late 40s, in your 50s, your early 50s, your mid 50s, your late 50s. Like it is the most enormous growth period, I think, in our lives. Because we're here for it. We're watching it. We understand it. Like we can appreciate all that's happening. But I think for me, when I was at that stage, I had to really...

create a vision for what I wanted in my future. Because you know who you are, Melissa. You know who you are. It's not about you like who am I. You know who you are. If you get quiet and you sit with yourself and you remember what's important to you, you know. And so it's about what's next more. And creating that like sort of vision for what you want. What you want your life to look like. And you have to

visualize it. You have to like, for me, I made a, you know, a vision board. I hung it up in my office where I see it all the time. Things that are important to me, phrases, you know, quotes, things that resonate for me and what I want for my future. And just having that visual for me helped me to reinforce it on a daily basis.

And so it just sort of seeps into like what you do and how you do it every day because you're working towards something. It feels like when you're at that stage, that empty nester stage, like all the good stuff's over and like, oh my gosh, there was all these years spent getting to right here. And now right here becomes like your kid's

their lives like they fly and then you're like left like empty in a nest exactly exactly but it's not an empty nest it's the most full nest you've ever had because you have all these tools now and all this confidence in yourself that you know you can get whatever you want in life you just have to really define it yeah yeah and that takes time that takes patience that takes you know being realistic

And just really defining it, I think is really, really important. And then reminding yourself of it every day. Does what I'm focusing on, it does where I'm putting my energy meet up with what it is that I want for my next chapter. And say you want to completely reinvent yourself, do something that you've never done before. Put that on your vision board and break it down. Like how do I, what steps do I need to take to get to that?

Exactly. Yeah. And before you know it, you'll get there and then you'll be asking yourself the same questions. What can I do next? What can I do next? It is like, you always want to reinvent yourself and think bigger and challenge yourself and grow. Like you never want to be stagnant regardless of whatever it is, right? Choose kindness, choose grace and all of those things. And I feel like I give that more to people than I give it to myself. And it's like, it's, it is. So it's,

Yeah. Yeah. But you're right. Like just see that vision I have in my future. I know who I am as a person. I will always stay true to myself. I've always said I need to be okay with me and need to be able to look at myself in the mirror and be okay with who I see back. Right. And I'm not saying every day I, you know, but I live and learn and I make mistakes and, um,

I have gotten myself into therapy in the last six months, which is a big thing, right? It's huge. Amazing therapist. And she's awesome. We just talk through things of scenarios and how I'm feeling about certain topics. And it is, you're just like, you're so, as a woman, you're so like, have so much pressure of,

being successful and, you know, and who you are and how you're providing for your family and all of these things and who you're contributing and like, yeah, like just all of those things and working out and being social. All the things. All the things. We expect so much from ourselves. Yes. When actually we just, there's nothing to expect. Like we just wake up and be nice and be positive and listen to others and put other people's feelings first and,

And everything else will fall into place. Absolutely. No, it makes sense. It makes sense. And it's just, it is. It's just like, so thank you for being such an inspiration. And I love to listen to your podcasts and every version. And I love how raw and vulnerable you are and just,

yeah, you're an amazing, amazing, you know, just someone to look up to and admire. So yeah. And you've been through it. You're doing it too. You know, you're setting such a beautiful example for your friends, your family, your kids, what, you know, anybody that's watching you. Let me ask you this. Do you ever look in the mirror and say, I love you? No, I haven't in a long time. That was huge for me. Like that's something sounds so corny and silly.

And also so like, why would I do that? Yeah. But if you stop, if you see a reflection in the mirror and you stop and you can give yourself a moment, five seconds and look into your own eyes and say, I love you. Makes sense. There's like this connection that you get with yourself and this acceptance that you get for yourself no matter what. And sometimes you can look in the mirror and say, oh my God, you're such an asshole. Just, you were just such an asshole. But you know what? I still love you.

Oh my gosh. You really messed up just two minutes ago out there in the kitchen when you screamed at him.

But I still love you and everything's going to be okay. That is so perfect. That is everything. Absolutely. And I think that's where somewhere along the way, I lost myself and I don't know. And I like, I don't know what that looks like. And I don't know if I love myself anymore. So then I feel like, you know, when you just, sometimes you feel numb, like you're just going through the motions and you're just kind of here. And it's like, I can't,

I don't love myself enough to love someone else. And I can't give because I can't receive and I don't feel it. Right. And I think that's ultimately kind of where I've been at like the last like six months or so. And it like said, and I woke up and I'm like, I'm 49. I'm like, and all of a sudden I'm like, I want to accomplish this and I want to do this. And I want to do, and I'm like, and I'm like, what am I doing? Like why all of a sudden am I feeling this pressure and like needing to be this person? And it just, yeah. And I think I was, I'm like,

I'm chubby. I don't like when my clothes fit. All of those things. We're so hard on ourselves. Yeah. And it's so hard. It's so hard, but yeah. I want you to do that. Okay. I want you to start practicing that every day. Every day. If it's first thing in the morning, last thing at night.

If you do it multiple times a day, great. Look at yourself in the mirror and say, I love you. And it can be as quick as that, or you can stay with yourself as long as you feel like you need to. And it's going to feel weird. It's going to feel uncomfortable. You're going to want to look away. You're not going to want to do it. But when you look at yourself in the mirror and you love yourself and you say, I love you, and you tell yourself, I know everything.

This has been hard. I know you're going through hard stuff right now. I know you want a lot of things. I know you feel confused right now, but I've got you and I'm here for you and everything is going to be okay. You're going to get goosebumps when you connect with yourself on that level. And then you're going to have like this feeling of like, oh my God, I can't wait to get back to the mirror and talk to myself. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

It's so true, right? Like to see that person and yeah. And to love myself back. Yeah. And that's really what I need. Yeah. I love you. Oh my God. I love you. You're doing so good. I love you too. Like I'm serious. If you're ever in Iowa, give me a call. If you come home, I don't know how my sister will not give up my time, her time with me. Pretty sure about that. Melissa, wait, wait. What was your last? I choose me moment.

I am working on that, a work in progress. Okay. How about we maybe check back in in six months and see what that looks like when I'm closer to 50? It can be, you have to start small. You have to start with little things like, you know what? I'm going to choose to put on some lipstick today because it makes me feel better. Or I'm going to choose to go to bed a little bit early today and give myself a little extra sleep. I'm going to, you know, it's little things. And every time you do something little for yourself, it's

acknowledge it, say, Hey, look, look at me. I'm choosing myself right now. And it feels good. Absolutely. And I feel like if you do choose yourself and that puts yourself and you choose you and that makes everyone else better because then it just is a natural progression that it comes after. Right. And then you can be there for the ones that you love, but if you don't take care of yourself, then you can't be there for the ones that you love. It's very true. Words of wisdom.

Thank you. No, thank you. Thank you. I appreciate it. This has been awesome. Such an amazing experience and I can't thank you enough. And I look forward to continue watching you foster and grow and yes, do all the amazing things that you're doing. You too. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. Take care. Have a great day. Yes, you too. Thank you. Bye. Bye.

Hi, Marcia. Hi, how are you? I'm so good. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. Thank you for listening to the pod. Yeah. Tell me, what do you want to talk about today? How can I help you? I was just wondering, you know, because my mom has Alzheimer's and I'm her caregiver, how I could make I Cheese Me moments for myself. Hmm.

That's a very, you are in a, in quite a position, you know, giving so much to someone who needs so much. I can relate. I have, you know, um, taking care of my parents at different points in my life too. And it's a lot. Yeah. It's really challenging. You have to have so much patience.

And so much peace inside of you in order to be able to take care of somebody like that on that level. Yeah. I think you need to start, I know, because it probably takes up a lot of your day, a lot of your time, thinking of how you can better take care of somebody, how you can prep, how you can meet their needs. You just need to carve out those

How can I take care of myself when I, because it is true. You say, put the oxygen mask on yourself before putting the oxygen mask on others. When you're on the plane, you know, you have to remember how important it is to take care of yourself. Even just a little bit, the littlest things can help. You know, it's really important to eat well.

Yeah. If we eat just junk and filler food, food that's not helping us or benefiting us in any way, that's going to catch up to you and you're not going to feel good. And then you're not going to be in a good mood. You're not going to be in good spirits and you're not going to be able to take care of somebody. Right. If you're getting, make sure you're getting enough sleep, like look at your schedule and, and decide like how many hours am I sleeping a night?

Right.

it's like a reverse effect. I'm cranky and puffy and I don't feel good. But if I get like six or seven hours, that's my golden ticket right there. So it's just, you know, as much focus as you put on taking care of someone else, you have to turn it back and start taking care of yourself little by little, even if it doesn't feel right or feel selfish.

You've got to carve out that time. What is it that you do in your life where you are taking care of yourself? What do you do for self-care? So usually during the day, because I have two computers, so I have one down here and then one in my room. So I usually game a lot during the days and stuff. And then we just recently had to have my brother-in-law bring her bed downstairs to put in the back room.

Because I didn't want her to do the steps anymore because she was starting to fall a lot. And I was like worried about her falling down the steps. And I was worried about how that was going to go because my routine with her would be to take her up, put her in bed and then just go in my room and chill out at night, like until the morning. So now the routine is I still put her to bed at the same time, but we would do it down here.

And then I go up in my room for a little bit and then I come back down and sleep on the couch because I don't want her to be alone down here. So like that's really and, you know, I have like little trips that I take. Sometimes my sister will. You get help from others. Yeah, it's it's me and my sister with the help of our our aunts, my mom's sisters. But it's mostly me and my sister because my dad passed away yesterday.

12 years ago. So it's only my sister and I, so my sister's yeah. So my sister does on your shoulders, the grocery running and stuff like that for me. Okay. Well, that's really important that you have, I'm so happy for you that you have a sister that you have those aunts that you can, if you need a break, you got to take it. Yeah. You know, and you know, I know that you love gaming and that's super, that's great. Um,

But what, you know, what does like going outside for you, does that feel good at all? Like when you go out in nature, when you like take some time? Yeah, I, when it's, when I can, I, I'll take my sister's kids and we'll go outside and play or something or go for a walk. It's getting colder here now, so that's harder to do.

You're in Pennsylvania. Yeah. So, and we're getting a snowstorm this like tonight. I was just there. I was just there. Yeah. And it was beautiful weather. I know it's bipolar. I mean, you, it's just about carving out those little moments and then remembering that that's not selfish. That is vital to your health and you being able to take care of your mom.

Right. Yeah, I have a my sister and I are going to Seattle to see my best friend on this like in like two weeks. And she actually knew your daughter, by the way. My best friend did. Oh, cool. Yeah. So, yeah, we're going to do that. And then my aunts are going to keep her keep my mom. And then we just went to the heiress tour on Friday. So my we went with her one sister and then the other sister kept my mom.

So we all three went and had fun. Amazing. How much fun did you have at that show? It was so much fun. It was so much fun. Oh, it was like, I'm a girl and I'm free. Yeah. Yeah. So much fun. So good. I feel like you're taking pretty good care of yourself. I feel like you have a good personality.

grasp on doing little things here and there for yourself and trying to keep your balance. Right. Yeah. You just need to make, you know, make it a priority and make sure every day that you're checking off that box of taking care of yourself. Right. I'm proud of you. I think you're doing a great job. Thank you.

Thank you. Okay. So aside from going to the heiress tour, but aside from going to visit your best friend, what do you think, even if it's something little, what would you say your last I choose me moment was? Probably going over and visiting my cousin, just being by myself because she has a daughter that's my niece's age. So my niece likes to come with me when I go, but I left her here.

So I went and just hung out with my cousin for a little bit. I would say that was probably it. Yeah. I love it. That's good. I'm proud of you. You're doing great. Thank you. And you're an amazing person for taking care of your mom. Thank you. Yeah, it's rough. I know. I know it's hard. I know it's hard. I know. That's what we do. We do hard things sometimes. Yeah, for sure.

Well, I'm with you. I'm here supporting you from afar. Thank you. Okay, that was so great getting to connect with and talk with some of you listeners. I seriously cannot say enough about how much you guys mean to me and I love hearing from you. It really, it touches me and it makes me feel really good and connected and that's what it's all about. And I hope to see you come out to my I Choose Me Live event we're having on Saturday, January 11th.

If you are able to, I hope you are able to grab your tickets. I really cannot wait to see you all in person and share all the exciting things we have in store for the best day ever. We're going to make some memories together and we're going to learn a lot about ourselves and about each other. And it's going to be super cool. So get your tickets and I'll see you there January 11th. As we continue to choose ourselves each week, I want to remind you about something so simple.

It's a choice that we can make that a lot of us forget to do all day long. And that is to drink water. Okay, I know. Very simple. But seriously, when was the last time you had some water? Right now, go fill up a big glass or fill up your jug. I don't know about you. I have a water bottle that goes everywhere I go. I call it my emotional support water bottle because it's

If I leave the house without it, I'm seriously like, oh no, where's my water bottle? What if I get thirsty on the way to the store? I have to have it wherever I go. So this is your reminder to not forget to hydrate your body. And I challenge you this week to keep hydration as a focus. We all tend to let go, you know, eat whatever. Our routines kind of fall apart with the food and sweets and the drinks and the schedules. But don't forget to hydrate your body.

Don't forget, drink some water. That's all I have to say about that. Thanks for listening to I Choose Me. You can check out all of our social links in our show notes. Have you left a review of the podcast? Because if you haven't, I want to hear what you think. I love your communication. I love your support. And I love your critiques. I am here for it. I want to learn.

It's so easy. And I love getting to hear from you. So make sure to use the hashtag I choose me and I'll be right here next week. I hope you choose to be here too.

I'm Jason Alexander. And I'm Peter Tilden. And together, our mission on the Really Know Really podcast is to get the true answers to life's baffling questions like why the bathroom door doesn't go all the way to the floor, what's in the museum of failure, and does your dog truly love you? We have the answer. Go to reallyknowreally.com and register to win $500, a guest spot on our podcast, or a limited edition signed Jason bobblehead. The Really Know Really podcast. Follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

We want to speak out and we want this to stop. Wow, very powerful. I'm Ellie Flynn, an investigative journalist, and this is my journey deep into the adult entertainment industry. I really wanted to be a player boy in my adult. He was like, I'll take you to the top, I'll make you a star. To expose an alleged predator and the rotten industry he works in. It's honestly so much worse than I had anticipated. We're an army in comparison to him.

From Novel, listen to The Bunny Trap on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.