The episode explores the emotional journey of transitioning into new phases of life, such as motherhood and marriage, and the challenges of letting go of past versions of oneself. It emphasizes the importance of self-compassion, embracing change, and recognizing the beauty in personal growth.
Ryan Bridges feels the need to mourn her old self because she underwent significant life changes, including becoming a mother, a wife, and moving far from her familiar environment. She struggled to reconcile her new identity with the person she used to be, leading to a sense of loss and the need to grieve her past self.
Breathwork helps Ryan release suppressed emotions and activate her nervous system, leading to a sense of calm and clarity. It serves as a tool for her to process the changes in her life and reconnect with herself during her transition.
Ryan uses 'I release' statements to let go of negative thoughts, self-doubt, and relationships that no longer serve her. This practice helps her reframe her mindset, recognize her worth, and embrace her new phase of life with confidence.
Ryan describes her 'fear of success' as the pressure she feels to maintain or exceed her achievements, which sometimes paralyzes her. Instead of embracing success, she overanalyzes and hesitates, fearing the responsibilities and expectations that come with it.
Ryan advises embracing the transition by giving oneself grace, recognizing that change is a process, and not rushing it. She emphasizes the importance of letting go of past versions of oneself and trusting the journey, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain.
Ryan reframes the belief by stating, 'I can recognize the new me.' She acknowledges that while she may not always embody her true essence, it is still present within her. She encourages finding glimpses of that essence and trusting that it will emerge fully in time.
Ryan highlights the importance of releasing relationships that no longer serve one's purpose. She explains that this doesn't mean losing love but rather making space for connections that align with one's current phase of life and personal growth.
Good day, good people. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome back.
Another episode of the Imperfectly Phenomenal Woman podcast. I am Lauren. I am the host and the producer of this podcast. I started it back in 2019 after a lot happened in my life, whether it was breakups, whether it was people passing away, whether it was me trying to understand my identity while living in New York City and realizing that I didn't know who I was. I went through this entire process of
really trying to uncover myself and realize that limiting beliefs are a thing that hold a lot of us back from really living fully and authentically. So here we are on this platform where I interview women about those limiting beliefs that have held them back. And by the end of each episode, we reframe them to fit more within our desired reality.
If you're new here, welcome. Got over 170 episodes for you to take a listen to. Go check those out. For my OG listeners, thank you so much for coming back. Wow. Thank you for your grace in giving me this time to rest and get myself together. I needed that space because the way that I have grown...
since taking this break is beyond what I ever could have imagined.
So thank you and let's get into it. So this week, my guest is Ryan Bridges. I've known her for a good chunk of my life. She's basically like my sister. I've seen her grow and develop into this amazing, beautiful woman that she is. But this episode is called You Can't Mourn the Old You. As we grow as individuals, and you know, this is inevitable, we get older, we
There are so many different versions of ourselves and who we are, and sometimes we feel like we want to go back to that old one. But this episode is all about getting to know and loving and transitioning with the version of you that is right here right now. I start each episode by asking the guests what brings them joy as a way for you to get to know their spirit. So let's do it. This is Ryan, and this is What Brings Her Joy.
I don't know, that's kind of tough. It's been like a lot going on in life. I mean, I honestly feel like the easiest thing right now is to say watching my kids grow up, seeing them be curious and like just seeing the world through their eyes has been like really bringing joy and like, you know, just a reminder of life and all of its preciousness. Yeah, we could even say like when your son got his hair cut.
Oh, cute little boo. I know. He was so excited, but he like immediately turned into a big boy. So...
That was a lot. Wild. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You got to really cherish this time, man. No, seriously. Liliana's too old these days. It's insane. Like, you blink, and then it's like, oh, they're going to college. Mm-hmm. She about 50. Right. Exactly. Like, he's definitely, like, 21. Well, thank you for introducing yourself.
And so each week I talk to different women about limiting beliefs that hold us back from living fully and authentically. And you came up with a beautiful title, even though I know you forgot. I didn't forget, girl. You didn't forget?
forget no okay well so limiting belief that we're talking about in this episode is you can't mourn the old you yes girl yes such a good one one time for that everybody just take it one time one time one time for the good creative juices yes but so what made you choose that topic for the
this week for us to talk about? Yeah, that's just something that I actually have been dealing with myself. Lots of changes over the past five, six years. And
You know, sometimes we try to like be the person that we always know ourselves to be. And we really don't realize that like there's grace in change. And for me specifically, like mom, wife life. Yeah. And again, I've only been a mom and a wife for five years. Right. I was a whole completely different person then.
for what 28 29 years and so like you expect to just flip the switch and everything be okay but like this person that I am like I don't know her as well and so I got to the point where I like just realized like Holy Spirit was like give yourself grace like this is new like I
Like, you're right. You're not who you used to be. But that doesn't mean that, you know, the really awesome parts of you are not still in there. They're just going to look a little bit different. Yeah. It's just something that we don't talk about when we talk about life change. We talk about all the things we want to do, what we want to be when we grow up, like what we expect our life to look like. But we never talk about the emotions that come along with that. Yeah. There's lots of emotions that come along with it. Oh, I love all that, Ryan. Yeah.
So especially you saying that you like it's new. You don't know this person as well yet. You just don't. You don't. And you don't really think about it like that. I want to I want to go back, though. So I want to rewind. So y'all don't know. I lived with Ryan for two years, three years. I think it might have been three. Some like three years, some like two, three years. So I know I know multiple Ryans. And that's the thing, too. Like we we.
We all grow with each other into these multiple different versions of people. But let's talk about previous Ryan, like 2015 after undergrad Ryan. Who is she? Yeah, she was super confident. She was curious, pretty fearless.
Also, she was uncertain. I come from the family that is like, go to college, go to college, go to college. You'll get a good job if you go to college, like, you know, that type of thing. But we didn't really talk a lot about what happens after college. So like I did.
go to college and I graduated, which was like amazing, but I just didn't really think past that four years. And so then when I did graduate and I started to live an adult life, there was a lot of question marks. I was like, dang, like who really do I want to be? Like, what do I want to do? And at one point I did want to be a counselor and I had somebody ask me, they were like, are you prepared to sit behind a desk for the rest of your life?
And I was like, I was like, I am way too creative for that. Like, I don't want to do that. And so, you know, then that shifted. And so that that woman that I was, you know, after after undergrad, like I was just like grinding, you know, like I had.
a really good full-time job. I coached and I mean, that was my life. Like I was just going and I was doing, and I was just like, okay, I love this girl. Like she's fun. She's cool. Like I had all my friends were in one place. Like it was just, it was easy.
And then and then, yes, I want to get into what is the transition, you know, because you're this person and then something happens and that literally and then so then and then what? Yeah. So then I met my husband and we picked up our lives and we moved 16 hours away from everything that we both knew.
And so we got married, we had our first kid and, you know, we've been living this life and it's been really awesome for the foundation of our family and our marriage. But there are times where like I do mourn, like when I see my friends all hanging out together still, but also like.
you know, the freedom to go and do as you please. Right. Like I used to just be able to be like, okay, like it's Tuesday. Like we're going to go meet up for happy hour or, you know, we're going to go do this after work or we're going to go do that after work. But instead I'm like,
oh snap, it's 4.30. I have to go get Charlie. Got to get a kid. Or even like, and you understand this, like how many times do we have to put just having a catch up conversation on the calendar? And fail every time. Every time. And like, it's so funny because like, if it's not on my calendar, like I'm going to forget, like there's just way too much going on. And so, yeah, like that was the end then. And so like,
I started to become a different person and then I started to not recognize the person that I was becoming because I kept trying to hold on to the person that I was. Yeah. Like trying to make those two spaces in my life like exist together. And honestly, it was it was so recently Lauren, God was like.
They're not going to exist together. Like you're no longer that person, those amazing parts that you built up that amazing foundation that you built up. It's still there. It's just going to look different. And like, you know, for the moms out there, like,
The first thing that changes for us, like when you have kids, is your body. And you look at yourself in the mirror and you're like, I never had to wear this size or I never had to deal with this backache or, you know, me too kidless. But like, you know, like that's the first way you begin to not recognize yourself is in the physical.
And then sometimes that kind of can play with your mind. And then like, you're just like, I just don't even know who I am anymore. Or like everything in your life revolves around like your husband and your kids. You don't make time for yourself. Like, and that was where I started to like kind of lose, you know, they talk about how postpartum it takes you, you know, sometimes five to seven years to start feeling like yourself again. And like, just for reference, like my kids are five.
Two in 11 months. So like I've started that cycle over so many times back to back. Yeah, I just got to a space where I was like, I have to get out of this rut. I have to do something for myself because I'm going to be no good to my family. I'm going to be no good to myself.
And one foot in front of the other. And I can say, oh, hey, girl, there she is. I like walk by the mirror sometimes and I'm like, there she is. I love that. I did that recently. Like,
I went and got my hair flattened straight out. What is it called? They call it a silk press now. That's what the kids say. Silk pressed. I got that joint silk pressed and she had the part in the wrong spot. And I was like, you got to scoot it over. And then when she put it in the right spot, I was like, there she is. And then I heard it from someone else recently too. Oh, it was this woman. Her hand started shaking. She has like something like Parkinson's disease or something. I don't know. And she,
her husband decided to help her with her makeup. She wasn't able to put on her makeup because of the phase that she was in in her life. And so then when he was able to put the makeup on her and she finally saw herself with makeup again, she was like, there she is. And it's like, you can recognize her when you see her. Yep. And it can be the most subtle things of not having the makeup or not putting that part in the right spot. Yeah.
Like it's so interesting. But so how, how do you feel now? Free. Okay. So let me tell you another thing that I did to like get here. Okay. So this year I did, um, are you familiar with breath work? Yeah. Okay. So I did breath work for the first time ever. I,
I have a question first before we go into how we got here. So where is here now? Cause I feel like just now we talked about the transition, but like, where is here? We're on the other side of the transition. So you're on the other side. All right, bro. And I want to say this, like, okay, so then this is kind of how I got there. Welcome to me and Ryan's telephone conversations. Okay.
This is what they sound like. This is us and our rawest, which is the best part of us. But yeah. Okay. So I did breathwork for the first time. I'm a believer and spiritual person, but like, I really didn't know what it was. I'm thinking I'm just like going to a yoga session and I'm just going to like relax and have some quiet time and just like breathe. Right. Yeah. Realize really what
was going to be happening. The one that I did is like they teach you basically how to take breaths a certain way. And it really kind of does like some type of activation to your nervous system. Right. And so like you can have like a like a full body experience. And sometimes like you'll get like
cramps and yeah like like in your from the breath work it's like it's wild it's like a super deep experience but like you kind of shut out so many things that like some of the things that you're dealing with that you're suppressing yeah you kind of like deal with them yeah okay like I can't really like verbalize it but like energetically yes absolutely 100 yeah 100 percent
So I did that and I was like amazed at the way that I felt. And it was just kind of like, wow, like I just felt like a sense of like calm and like like my energy was just like better. So then I randomly happened to see something like scrolling on social media. And this person was talking about a full moon that was coming up.
And so it just caught my attention. I was like, every once in a while, like I'll listen to something like that. Like, I'm not like a, oh, I'm like super into astrology. I have to like read it or anything like that. But sometimes it's kind of interesting to me. So I was like listening to it. And so what the woman was saying was,
During like this specific full moon was like supposed to be super powerful because whatever her reasoning was. But what caught my attention was she was saying that like she would recommend you doing some like I release statements.
Okay. And so I was like, okay, this is interesting. What you release girl. Okay. But here's the, here's the gotcha. Right. For like all of the super spiritual people that are listening, they're going to be like, Oh, you know, that's satanic, whatever. It was interesting to me because my pastor has been teaching on, um,
the power of our words has been the lesson. Right. And so for me, for me to like randomly scroll past that, and she's talking about using I release statements, and then we're talking about how powerful our words are and they're shaping things. It was just kind of like, okay, whatever. And so I chose to step outside that night, do the, I release statements. And I was like, whatever, maybe it'll do something. Maybe it won't, maybe I'll feel better. Like, you know, whatever.
some of the things that like I had been dealing with in my transition was like, I would second guess myself so much. And that was like a mix of like the toxicity of a previous job. It was again, the change of who I was and not recognizing like this new phase of my life and the things that I'm stepping into. I was just like, I just wasn't recognizing my worth. Like I had just been in such a dark place in that space that,
And so like some of the I release statements I had were like, I release relationships that don't serve me. Yes. I release thinking that I'm not good enough to sit in a room. I release any thought that comes up that's against the word of God, you know, and like it was just like random stuff like that and not necessarily random, but it was meaningful to me. But I and I walked outside and I said them.
folded the paper, threw the paper out, whatever. And it was just kind of, again, that same type of like breath. Yeah. The energetic release thing. And it just felt peaceful. And I think that I just needed to say all of those things that were going through my head, telling me that I wasn't good enough to, for this next phase of my life. Because one thing that I've learned about myself in the transition is I'm not afraid to fail. I'm almost afraid to
to be successful. I feel like that's been you for a bit. Girl, like let it go. Let it go.
Like, where is Elsa? Let it go. Here we go. But they're like, for me, there was so much pressure in maintaining the success or succeed, like going further in the success. And instead of me just walking in it, I try to think it to death. So many people do. Just try to think it to death instead of just doing it. You just got to walk in it and get it wrong. Get it wrong. I have been studying for my real estate test and I just realized that I was like,
But what if I fail? But what if I fail? But what if I fail? And all I did then was I just switched it. It's not going to be a fail. I just didn't pass. And I'm going to take the test again. That's it. That's it. There you go. And so that's why the transition to being on the other side has been so much easier because I have taken my words and I have changed my words and I
I love therapy also. Shout out to therapy. Shout out to therapy. I like jumping in the middle of episodes to share something that came up for me while listening to them. One thing that I was thinking about, I had this thought cross through my mind where I
where I was like, I'm working towards the old version of myself. But I meant it genuinely. Before I took this break, that was literally what I was trying to do. I remembered this past version of myself back in, let's say, 2022. And that version of myself felt so good. ♪
And so here we are after losing some of the most important people in my life. I lost my grandparents in the last two years. We're at the end of 2024, but at the beginning of 2024, I was literally like, I want to feel like I did back in 2022 again. And I was working towards an old version of me. How can you work towards something old? And why would you want to work towards the past?
I get it, sometimes there were really great thriving moments that you had in the past, but what about all that's possible in the future that you didn't have in the past? We're limiting ourselves to what our imagination can come up with because that's what we lived before.
But like, let's work towards the next amazing, beautiful, thoughtful, transformed version of you that you get to be now and next. But let's not work towards something old. That's it. That was the random thought I had. Let's get back to the episode. So homie driving in your car.
Homie cooking your food, like whoever you are that is listening right now, going for your walk, whatever it is. Let's take a quick moment. We're going to do some I release statements because vibe. Vibe. And don't just say it to say it, like say it with some authority. Yes, authority. Say it with some power. Yes. Because once you release it, like you have to let it go. So don't like halfway be like, I release. Yes.
Being scared to succeed. No, like shout that from the rooftop, say that thing. And when you say it, you let it go. Tell them girl, you preach it. You know I will. Go ahead. Don't let me get a word. All right. So we're going to start with take a breath, take a breath in, take a breath out. Repeat it when I say it. I release fear of failure. I release self-doubt. I release the limiting beliefs that hold me back.
I release fear of being successful. Money comes to me. My nature attracts money. The fear of lack has been broken. I am powerful. I'm cute as fuck. Today is my day when the transition will go into what it's supposed to be. And I'm ready.
Let's go. Word. Okay. Let's get it. Let's get it. Also, Lauren, you didn't say this, but this was a really powerful one for me to release. Yeah, I knew you were going to say one. So add it. It's the relationships, the relationships, release the relationships that are no longer serving you for the purpose that you're here for. Yes. It does not mean that the love has to be lost, but sometimes, and also I'm not talking about like,
just romantic relationships. Maybe it's a relationship with food. Maybe it's drugs and alcohol. Maybe it's a friendship that has run its course. Yes. Whatever it is, like,
especially with people, release them. And if your fear is that you're going to be alone, ask God, ask the universe, whoever you want to ask to replace them with something that is going to benefit you in this next phase of life. Is that something that keeps you stuck in the transition is holding onto things or again, like who you used to be. You want to know what's crazy too with this conversation is,
So, you know, I named the chapters of my life. Do you know what this chapter was called? Did I tell you? I don't know. I don't remember. I don't know. I don't think I did. I don't think you did. It's been called transitioning. Crazy. I'm telling you. I'm telling you.
It's so real. It's been transitioning since... When did transitioning start for me? Initially, it was in receiving. So that was receiving love, receiving... I did my fundraising campaign. So finances, receiving positive words and ruminating on that as opposed to ruminating on negative things. So stuff like that. And then actually, I feel like I just recently got into transitioning. Maybe let's say the last six months or so. And bruh, the thing about transitioning is...
We want to control it, but we do not get to control how the transition happens, which is so whack. It's so whack. I want to be able to control it. And you know what else you want to be able to control? How long it takes. That too. And we can't rush that. That's the sucky part. You cannot. It reminds me of
This is something I learned like very early in my like life journey that if you fail a test in life, you're going to keep taking the test. And that's almost how transitioning is. Yep. It's because there's something that you're supposed to learn. And when we try to rush it or we try to get through it, we're not really learning the lesson. Like the foundation is not laid. It's just like you're going to sit here in this transition until you get it.
five years of transitioning girl was tired okay do you hear me exhausted I need a nap I need a nap I was like what's up Pastor Breeland said that though too so Ryan introduced me to this one church that I still go to she don't go to that one no more but that's where her I release statements I heard her she was saying part of the confession this
some of them was the faith confession so the financial faith confession attract money my nature attracts money money comes to me my nature attracts money the fear of lack has been broken it has no power over me i hear my father's voice and the voice of temptation and limitation i choose not to follow so on so forth because it's real long but thanks city central let's go ryan's at work so she can't be loud today because she would you girl ryan is loud y'all don't know
But anyways, when it comes back to controlling it for a while, I don't want to like share this specifically. I'm trying to figure out how to kind of share it and not fully share it. Well, actually, so at first I was saying what Pastor Breland said. She was saying at one point that you ask God for something.
And you just want him to give it to you. But instead, he gives you a situation where you grow in it to get that thing. And so, for example, if you ask for patience, he going to give you a situation that tests your patience. And you got to learn how to develop that patience. And then once you learn to develop that patience, then you can sit in it. But a lot of the time we get that hardship.
to learn how to be what we actually want as opposed to just getting it. Very rarely do we just get it. It's not that we never do, but very rarely do you just get it. And then on top of that with control, like recently I was in a situation where it felt like everything was going wrong and damn that lasted for like four months where I felt like just everything was going wrong. And then I realized, oh wait,
The end result of all this going wrong is everything that I asked for. But that four months of everything going wrong, I was so salty. But I had to reframe it to finally say, okay,
This all happened because it was for my good and it got me to where I actually wanted to be. Like I asked God for this. I just didn't get it in the way that I wanted it to happen. Because if he gave it to us the way that we think we want it, we still be ungrateful. And it's not even going to be as good as what we want. It's not going to be as good.
It always reminds me that like we have those things inside of like specifically you were talking about patience, but it's a muscle you have to exercise just like your face. Yeah. It's a muscle that you have to exercise and it's going to look different in every season of your life. Right. Like right now, or you were just talking about your last, like your last phase of life, right? You were raising money, right? The face that you have for that.
it's going to look different when you do your next round of funding because you know you're going to have to have faith for more and this probably felt really big it did and then the next time it's going to be like okay like this is big and then like it's going to keep growing so like you're continuing to grow that faith muscle yeah patience right you might have to have
for, you know, launching at a different time. Mm-hmm. Right? Oh, my gosh. New cover art? New cover art. I have wanted to have new cover art for years, y'all. But by the time y'all see this episode... Which is fire! Fire!
My cover art will be on the thing thing. Hopefully if I figure out how to re upload it. It's so beautiful. But I had to wait for years for that to come out of my fingers. And when that came out of my fingers, instead of me forcing it, like you can't force the things you have to just wait for it to happen in the right time when it's supposed to. And when it came out of my fingers, my brain was not activated at all.
My fingers were just moving on that trackpad and I was looking at my hand like, what is going on? It was not me. And that's a beautiful thing that you just said, because like what I heard was if you get it before you're ready, you're not going to know what to do with it. That too. You can't rush it. It's just going to be a waste. You can't. The things that I...
have right now if I would have had like before I'd have been like no no chill like what am I supposed to do with this you know but you look around and you're like okay like this situation set me up for this right so now that I'm I've dealt with that I'm prepared for this I have three kids right if I didn't have one kid I wouldn't be ready for three which I mean I'm not really ready for three they're kind of taking me out but I'm sure I'm sure
Well, so what are you most excited about since you're on the other side of it, which is so wild? I'm sure there's still parts that you mourn from on occasion to occasion. But what are you most excited about now being on the other side? The success that I was afraid of. Yeah. Like, I'm just excited to do all the things that I've been scared to do. Oh, I love that.
Because I was just thinking about it. I was in the kitchen. I think it was this morning or yesterday. And people often will look at me and be like, you just be doing stuff. Like, how do you just do stuff? And it's not that I'm not scared while I'm doing it.
It's just that I do it through the fear and like, I'm so excited to do it through the fear and fail through the fear. I don't know what it is. I'm so, I get so excited to fail through the fear. I love that for you. Yeah. I ain't there yet, but I'm a boy girl. It sounds like, it sounded similar when you said it though. Like you're so excited to do the things you were afraid to do. It's not like you're not going to still be afraid. You're just going to do it now. I'm just going to do it scared. But you want me to tell you how I feel about this, like this phase and when I say like I'm
I'm excited to do all the things that I was afraid to do. Have you ever seen, um,
the movie Night School? No. Okay. It sounds dumb though. I just assume it's dumb. Yeah. It's Tiffany Haddish and Kevin Hart. So you know it's dumb. Dumb. But basically Kevin Hart doesn't graduate from high school and so the whole movie is about him taking his GED test. And so like once he gets past the fact that like he's scared to take it and he actually starts taking the test and he finishes the class like he
he gets kind of like giddy, laughy about like, all right, y'all, I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna pass it this time. And he fails miserably. He's like, that's all right, but I'm gonna do it again. I'm gonna do it again. And then he takes it again. And they're like, nope, fail. He's like, but that's all right, we're going back. That's all right, that's all right. And that's really how I feel about where I am right now is because like, I'm just like, it's okay. Like, just keep going because eventually it's gonna say pass, whatever it is. Eventually it's gonna be successful. Like you have laid,
This is what I tell myself. You've laid so much amazing foundation. And also I have two daughters. I can't tell them to be the type of person that I know that I was literally put here to be. If I'm not acting it out, I look at those little girls and I'm like, you have to pull it together. I look at my son.
And I tell myself with all three of my children, do not impose your fears on them. This is their life to live. And you encourage them. You lay a good foundation in them and you keep on working on yourself in the process. I would never put my fears on my children.
If they like Josiah is in like a crazy jumping phase. And I was telling my husband, I was like, we should have got him a crash pad for Christmas because you should have, because he will jump off of anything. Like we'll be sitting in the room. You're like, Josiah, stop jumping. Like you're kind of hurt yourself. And instead of like that fear of like, Oh no, don't jump off the plane. It's going to be so scary. Do dangerous things safe. If you're going to jump out of the plane, make sure you have a parachute that works.
That do dangerous things safe. That doesn't mean don't do it at all. Like just do it safe. Yeah. I'm just like so thrilled. Like I'm already doing some things that are like outside of like my comfort zone. And like every time I get that feeling of like that makes you like that in the pit of your stomach.
I'm just like, now, you know, you're going in the right direction. I'm like, do it anyway. Yeah. Say it. That's how, you know, you're going in the right direction. Even though sometimes they say that, you know, you got that gut instinct to turn away or whatever. Listen to that too. But like,
when you are afraid to do something, it means that you are dreaming bigger than what you were initially than where you are. So you are doing the right thing. Just go do the scary thing. It's the right thing. Shoot your shot. I have a shoot your shot buddy now. I have a whole buddy who I message only when I want to shoot crazy shots and she'd be like, go do it.
and it works out what's the worst it works out we were like you go message tracy ellis ross next i'm doing that just do it why the fuck not why not why not she gonna say no maybe but that's okay maybe she'll say yes maybe she'll say yes but you won't know unless you shoot your side listen one of my favorites to that is like a beautiful example of like one don't ever give up and keep on shooting your shot is tabitha brown yes when a beautiful soul what a beautiful soul
We don't know her. That is Auntie Tab from when she was making her little vegan videos. She just won an Emmy. Wild. For a children's show about vegetables. Like, Avi Avocado is out here. What a whole Emmy. Like, I mean, just do it.
But like also like when we, and this is what I think about when I think about my children, the more I delay my purpose, the more I'm delaying somebody else from doing what it is that God called them to do. Absolutely. That's real. All right. Well, we on the way. Well, so at the end of each episode.
We always reframe the living belief to fit more within our desired reality. So, and we do this to shift our mindset because we lived in one space. Now we're going to the next. We are transitioning. So if you were to reframe, and this is a new year, so let me explain, kind of reframe a little bit more. So an example of a reframe, I think this was my first episode. If I say I'm not married by 30, then I'm a failure. Right.
I would reframe that to say, I want to get married at a time that's right for me. Fuck these societal timelines. I don't even have to get married. I can start a partnership. We got options out here. So for you, if we were reframing the limiting belief that you can't mourn the old you, how would you reframe that to fit more within our desired reality? I can recognize the new me. Mm hmm.
But even when you can't, she's still in there. There she goes. All right. There she is. You will see her. You will see. You'll get glimpses of her. You'll see her. Yeah. You'll get glimpses of her. And that's the beautiful thing is like when you do see her, she still will look like exactly the person that you knew her to be. Yeah. Yeah.
And it's like, because I call that person in me essence. It's like the truest essence of myself. So I've named her essence. Like my anxiety monster is Lucy. And I have like other people in my head too. There's Oprah. And so when I get anxiety, I will talk to Lucy like, girl, you got to relax. And I will mentally imagine myself putting Lucy to bed and like walking away from her. I love that. Yeah.
It's very helpful. And then there's like little me who is my past trauma. And I can, I can, I'm able to recognize all these people, but essence essence is the one that holds little me's hand when she stressed out, like essence is that girl. And so even when I can't find myself or feel like I'm losing myself, I'm always still able to go back to essence, even if I'm not embodying her. And as I'm doing this transition, I'm,
You know, I'm doing this new show, New Growth, and I'm going to do photo shoots throughout the whole thing. Like all of my photo shoots will be based on different variations of Essence, which I'm so excited about. And so I'm trying to like embody her more now. Yeah. So we'll see how that goes. But.
I recognize her even though I'm not always able to embody her. Yeah, I love that. At every moment. I love that. And we don't have to embody her every moment. Sometimes you're just tired. Yeah. Or got some shit to work through. It's okay to work through your shit. Essence is still in there. Take a step back.
She's still in there. Love it. Hi, Fran. So people want to connect with you. Where can they find you? My social media is SheSassy11. SheSassy11. Yeah. There's probably not a lot on there.
Besides something like once a year. But who knows? Maybe you'll see a little bit different stuff going on. But you're on there and in the DMs if someone has messaged you. Absolutely. In the DMs. I'm always down to talk. And I love all things women growth. Like I said, I'm a mom. I'm a wife. I love those parts of my life because people don't take them seriously and respect those faces. So I love when I can talk to people about that. Single people, too, because y'all need to be ready.
If that's something that you want to do, because it is not for the faint of heart. It is not for quitters, you know, and it helps you figure out a lot. So I'm always down to talk. I said I didn't want to be a counselor, but it's kind of who God is. It's yeah, it's low key in her in her spirit. And you know where you can find me. I am actually might not because I don't usually give my personals, but that's who I am. So I am at Lauren dot e dot will go find me on Insta.
The pod page is at IPUBEMODEPODCAST, but I'm transitioning out of that page a little bit more. Just go follow my personal at lauren.e.will because I'm trying to be me. Love it. And I will chat with y'all next week, friends. Bye. Farewell.