Episode 45: Interview with Kendra Wright
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When you live intentionally and you're going out there and you're not taking your life for granted, people envy that and they want to see you do it more because I think deep inside everybody wants to do that. Welcome to Chasing Life podcast where we talk about fitness, running, career, and life tips to inspire you to live your best life. I'm your host Sarah Kane and I hope you enjoy today's episode.

Welcome to another episode of Chasing Life. Today's guest is Kendra Wright, and I can't tell you how excited I am to have her. I've been connected with Kendra for several years now on social media, and I'm just so excited to share this episode with you. We talk about her TEDx talk on her year of fear.

We talk about a nursing home project and how she came up with it. We also talk about her weekly planning and living intentionally, stepping outside of your comfort zone. There's just so many great nuggets of wisdom, and I summarize it as a giant pep talk. I laughed and I smiled so many times during this episode, and I hope you love her energy as much as I do. Enjoy. Kendra, welcome to Chasing Life Podcast. How are you?

I am awesome and I am excited and elated to be here. I top your excitement. We've known each other for a couple of years now. So it's probably been many years through the internet webs. I don't even remember when we first connected, but we've been a part of each other's kind of Facebook friends or I've been a part of your community for several years now. So yeah. Yeah.

I'd love for my audience to get to know you a little bit more. Can you share who is Kendra? What do you do? And a fun fact about you. Oh man, what a great loaded question. So yeah, I would say in a nutshell, I was born very average and I decided to be awesome. I was born like

I was born with a 5% chance of living. So my story is kind of wild. And I grew up with cerebral palsy. And so I grew up in a really small town with more cows than people. And I was really just expected to kind of be, I don't want to say like in a wheelchair for my entire life, but like I literally spent my entire childhood learning how to walk.

And so just kind of coming into the world had a bumpy start to say the least. And then as I got a little older, I just realized like how protected I was in the world because of my disability. And I just had this desire to live big, to like make an impact, to go see the world. And so

I did. And I, you know, through a bunch of different kind of processes and personal experiences, I created this project called the Year of Fear Project. And so every day for a year, I did something new, something different, something outside of my comfort zone. And I wrote about it on the internet.

And it became pretty popular and it inspired a lot of other people to take similar journeys, which was incredible. And so and then that led to a TEDx talk. And so I continue to write, continue to teach and occasionally speak just on, you know, that topic and the idea of like living intentionally and really just kind of stepping into the badass that you were born to be if you choose to. Yeah, I love that. There's so many things I want to kind of peel apart there. Ooh.

Let's go back to your year of fear. Can you dive into that a little bit more? What inspired you to start that? And what was your favorite or maybe top couple favorite activities that you did?

Yeah. So I think, you know, what's interesting in life is that fear is so present. And so when you see like these different things in your life where like, okay, you know, I have these things I want to go after, but this predominant emotion comes up. I realized that if I could learn to tame or at least tango with that sensation, that fear, that feeling, I didn't need to fix it. I didn't need to like

I just needed to learn to tolerate it better. And so that's kind of what I did going into this experiment is like, how do I learn to be friends with fear and use fear for a positive impact? So, you know, I,

Of course, fear is helpful. You know, people think I don't like fear. And I'm like, no, I don't want to drive my car off a cliff. Like, you know, there are certain scenarios when fear is very helpful. And so I like to hang on to it in those scenarios. But most of the time, that's not the scenario that fear shows up in my life. Fear shows up in my life when I need to step in to do something that's causing me to grow or I need to create or write or have a difficult conversation or stand up for myself. Like, you know, I don't want to be in a situation where I'm like,

that's how I see fear show up in most people's lives. And so that's kind of how I got inspired was like, well, what if I could just, if I could change my relationship to this one feeling of fear that could impact so many areas of my life. And that's kind of what it was born out of was just this interesting desire to see like, what would happen if I could learn to tango with fear instead of run from fear. Right.

And as far as like a few of my favorite ones, some of the bigger ones that like people really get excited to hear about, like I did a police ride along and an EMS ride along, which were incredible. Most people don't know this, but you can do a police ride along and you can do an EMS ride along. You just contact your local department. So I'll do like a background check, make sure you're not a total wacko.

and I'll let you come out and hang out. And totally incredible experience where I just realized like, you know, people talk about that whole like first responders are everyday heroes. But when you literally are in a police cruiser going 120 miles per hour on the highway and you're headed to like a situation where somebody's got a gun and you look over at this officer and you're like, holy crap, this is what you do every day. And you see these people walk into these scenes and they're just like, you know, everybody else runs and they go in. You're just like,

wow, I had all these heroes around me, like in society every day that are doing these amazing things. And I'm just overlooking.

And so it's like now every time I see a police cruiser, every time I see an EMS person, like I have this deep sense of gratitude because I literally have been on the front lines where like, you know, somebody's dying right in front of me and I watch these people save their life. Like it's insane. It was so cool. And so I always recommend like, if you want to go big, like do an EMS right along, do a police right along. Those are great. But then also like, I think what people don't understand about fear is like some of the most rewarding stuff was actually the most ordinary stuff.

think of somebody that you've always wanted to be friends with. And you're like, man, I really want to ask that person out to lunch. Like, I just want to get to know them better. Or, you know, it's like, oh, I really want to try this class or, you know, I really want to start meeting new people, like just small stuff every day. I think that was really where I grew the most. Like it looked awesome on Instagram to take a photo on a police cruiser, but it was awesome in real life to build my own personal self-confidence and like

learn to control my inner talk and prove to myself that like, hey, you can do crazy stuff. Like that was the coolest part.

Did you have to build up to those bigger asks? And did you get a lot of no's in the beginning? You know what's surprising and what I've learned in life? People will say no to you less than you think because very few people are actually asking for what they want. Not only was I surprised how often people didn't say no, but I was surprised of like how often people were like,

Hey, you did this thing. Like, have you ever thought about this? Or like, Hey, can I, I got connections like over here. I can help you out and like get you into this other really crazy experience. Are you interested? Like people want to help you succeed in life.

And I think when you live intentionally and you're going out there and you're not taking your life for granted, people envy that. And they want to see you do it more because I think deep inside, everybody wants to do that. And that's what I think the biggest gift of this whole experience is like,

my favorite thing is just being like seeing other people step into their greatness. And that doesn't mean a police ride along, but it could be like, Hey, I've always wanted to write this book and you totally got me off my butt to do that. And like, thank you for teaching me to not waste my life. Like that's the ultimate compliment to me. And so that's really why I do it at the end of the day. Like first it became about me, but then when I saw the impact

living well had on other people, I became addicted to being an example for them. It is really inspiring. And just to see like someone else have that experience or to try something like, and sharing that and saying, you know, I was really nervous about this, but I went and did it and it was awesome. It's very encouraging for someone else to say, you know, I might be really nervous about this too, but I'm going to try it. That was kind of, you

You know, when I started this podcast, I didn't have much knowledge of what I was doing, but it was kind of that 10 seconds of courage type of thing. And then you just go for it. And then I've gotten feedback from other people to say, you know, I've seen you start this podcast and I think, well, why can't I do something that I don't know very much about right now? And then you learn along the way. So yeah, you never know who you're inspiring when you're doing something that lights you up. Yeah. And I think also like, you know, so many people feel like,

for lack of better word, just like numb inside and they feel bored with their lives. And I would say like the fastest way to feel alive is to step outside of your comfort zone. And it's cliche, but it's so dang true. Like, you know, for anyone listening right now, like,

I want you to think about, you know, maybe one or two things you've ever done that you're so proud of yourself for, like incredibly proud of yourself for where you're like, yeah, I did that thing. And I was a freaking badass. Right. I guarantee you without knowing you, I know that it was outside your comfort zone because when I think of like the top two or three things that I'm like super proud of myself for, oh my God, they were terrifying. Um,

And I'm still scared all the time. Like all the time. I've done over 850 comfort zone challenges now at this point. And like the biggest misconception that everyone has is that I'm fearless. Like now I'm scared all the time. It looks different now. You know, the fear shows up in different ways and things that used to scare me don't scare me in the same way, but like, I'm still uncomfortable all the time. Like I'm still uncomfortable in,

Anytime I walk up to somebody who seems cooler than me, which seems like everybody, you know, meeting someone new where I'm speaking on stage, like, you know, every time I push publish on even just like an Instagram post, like my little heart just flutters. And so I wish people saw how afraid everybody else was. And they'd realize like, nah, I'm actually just normal. Like this is normal part of the process. You know, I love that you said about making yourself proud, something that's

been a reoccurrence. I've been around two kids this summer. It sounds so silly, but I remember I had this neighbor kid and he was so excited. I don't exactly know what he did. He might've caught a fish or he, I don't know, put a worm on his hook or something. But I remember hearing him yell to his grandparents. I'm so proud of myself. I'm so proud of myself. I did this thing and it made me think,

How often as adults do we, one, share how proud we are of ourselves for accomplishing something, and two, actually pursue something that would make us proud of ourselves? And then the second instance, I did some private swim lessons this summer, and the little girl that I was working with, we were trying to get her to do a flip turn. And for anyone who is not familiar with swimming, it's basically doing a somersault against the wall, pushing off the wall, and then continuing your swimming. And when we first started, her flips were...

kind of all backwards. She was twisting under the water. They were kind of a mess throughout the lessons with her. There were several times where I thought she was going to cry. Like I was like, Oh my God, I'm like a terrible teacher. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. She does not want to be here. The last session I said, okay, you ready? She'd finally mastered just doing somersaults in the water. I was like, okay, you ready to go against the wall? She says, okay. I was like, okay, you ready?

And she did it. And then she, I'm like, okay, let's do it a couple more times. And the smile on her face was so big. And she, you could tell just, she was so proud of herself. And I was proud of her just because she was willing to try something new. And like the week before she was ready to cry. And then the next week she was excited to try. And then she went home and told her mom how proud she was. And her mom was proud of her. And I was like, you know, like how often adults, again,

do we try something? We might've been afraid, but then we try it and we realize, Hey, I actually can do this activity and just to make ourselves proud. So. Yeah, but it's a great, it's a great point and a great story because as kids, we can't wait to grow up. We can't wait to be adults. You know, we're dying to be adults. And then as adults, we have to

unlearn being adults to be a kid again. And, you know, it makes me think about this idea that I kind of have been like ruminating on. It's like, what if you cared less about what other people thought and you became obsessed with what you thought about yourself, about your abilities, about like, you know, and that doesn't mean like

you know, you're just like, ah, screw everybody. But I mean, a little bit, like, because we're all hardwired to be tribal to care about what other people think. So you're always going to like calibrate to that. So you kind of have to like, consciously push away from caring so much about what other people think. And just that, yeah, I love that idea of like making yourself proud and like,

you know, to make yourself proud, sometimes you got to put yourself first. You got to like stick with things and you got to do things where if you're caring too much about what other people think, like it's just not going to happen. And so many of us have giant hearts and we're just little, you know, like empathy bubbles. Like I'm a huge empath. So I care so much about other people, but it's like, I've had to really learn and calibrate, like to put myself first because I was always putting myself last. Yeah.

And, you know, I think that's a big thing is like, you know, even these days where it's like, okay, like, let me, let me take care of me first so I can really show up and serve the world. And I, for most of us, we're never going to be the help of your. So you spoke about being an empath and I thought this would be a good segue to talk about your latest project for helping people.

Nursing home. That's a cause that's really close to your heart with your grandmother and then just that community. Can you share what inspired you to do that project and tell us more about how we can contribute? Yeah, my grandma and I were really, really close growing up. She was like the key positive

force in my life. And the best parts of me come from her. She was a big old bundle of fields. And that's how that's why I'm that way. And she always put everybody else before herself. And that's also where I learned, like, I learned through her that love was putting everybody else before yourself. And so she just like was so emotionally driven and such a positive, like,

aspect of my childhood. And she passed away really suddenly a couple years ago, and just really like shook me. And if, if you watch my TEDx talk, it's kind of a crazy story, because I was right in the middle of writing my talk, when my grandma passed away. And like, I was doing rehearsals and table reads and like getting ready and like, oh, man, it gutted me. I mean, I literally was just like in the ICU trying to write a TEDx talk, like,

Think about the hardest moment of your life. My grandma's on life support and, um,

trying to write that talk. Like, and so I always joke, I have like a resting bitch face on my TEDx talk, because I was just the lowest low I've ever been on the biggest stage of my life, like talk about just like, polar opposites and internal battle. That was crazy. And so I've always just felt like because my grandma was such a positive force for me, like, she always took care of other people. She never wanted anybody to feel forgotten. And I've always just connected with that. And I just I love older people. I think

I think my big, one of my biggest beliefs in life is if you want to live well, don't ever forget that you're going to die.

And so I'm always looking for these opportunities to remember that I'm mortal. And so I like to go to the nursing home. I like to visit like lonely nursing home patients. And like, I mean, people like I've done that recently. I just, I have this idea where I was like, you know, I feel called to help out people in the nursing home and it's COVID. And I don't really know how to do that because it's like, you know, you could basically got to wear a hazmat suit. Like you can't go in there and

And so like, ideally I wanted to be able to go in and meet with residents and talk to them personally and just be like, Hey, what do you need to feel like more comfortable and happy? And like, give me your wishlist for what you want and I'm going to go fulfill it. And so that was my goal originally with the idea. And then, um,

obviously COVID happened. So I was like, well, I can't do that. So instead I just decided like, I'm going to reach out to the nursing home and I'm going to find out, like, I'm going to have them make a list for me. And so I will raise all the funds. I'll like do the supply drive. And so, yeah, the last like month or two, I've just been putting together this project. And so I got a list and I've been raising money and people have been donating and like, they're mailing me awesome stuff. My goal is just to remind people that like, they're not forgotten. And

And I think what's really cool when you do a project like this is that one, you get to see how many beautiful, incredible people there are in the world who believe the same things that you believe. You're like, Oh, I'm not alone. Like there are awesome rad humans who care about this kind of stuff. Obviously it's freaking incredible to do something so rewarding, but also just to show up intentionally for your life. I think like something that's really been on my mind lately is like someone asked me yesterday, they're like, how do you take so much action? And you're

In your life, you're like, I see you doing all these things. I'm like, God, if you let me know how much action I don't take.

But at the same time, I'm like, I don't let myself get lazy. It's so easy to just be like, like I've had this idea and it's funny how it started because I've had this idea for a while and I was driving to sushi with one of my friends and I passed the nursing home where I used to go to visit lonely residents. And I was like, I really want to do that nursing home project. And I remember driving there on the way and I like randomly saw it out of the corner of my eye. And I was like, when I leave this freaking sushi restaurant, I need to go to that nursing home and I need to just find out

who I need to talk to, like who can give me the list. Right. And so I was like, if I got time for sushi, I got time to stop by that freaking nursing home. And so I did. Right. But at the same time, like I was scared to walk in. Do you know how much of a bozo you feel like being a total stranger walking in a nursing home and be like, Hey, you don't know me, but I'd love to like gather a bunch of supplies for all your people. And like, where would you like me to send these?

Like you feel like a total wackadoodle. And it was scary. Like that's an example of something where people think I'm fearless all the time. I'm like, oh my gosh, no, I'm scared all the time. I just have a better relationship to fear where now I follow fear because 99.9% of time, the fear is,

is wearing the go to feel alive and to be the best version of me. And so, yeah, I walked in like a total psychopath and just asked them who's the person to talk to. And I had to, you know, follow the chain of command and make a couple of calls. And yeah, and it, and it's turned out. And now it's like, I think yesterday I was adding it up where I've raised almost like $700 already just with like a couple posts. And I was like, that's incredible.

Like how cool it's been awesome. And I think that like so many people, you just can't let yourself get lazy. Like that's just in life, in relationships, in everything. I'm an extreme introvert. I'm a big empath. I'm a highly sensitive person. I just want to be in a blanket in a bathtub all day long. And so for me to go into the world and try to do all these things is like definitely against my normal nature. So if I can do it.

Anybody can do it. Yeah, that's really inspiring. I've already used that word today. I just feel like you're, you're just living a life that people can even aspire to be. And just, you know, instead of passing that nursing home and saying, I'll do it later, or maybe another time, just actually, you know, ripping off the bandaid and doing it. And I feel like that's what makes you different, right? That you're actually just

following through and doing it instead of pushing it off. Because I think it is easy to get lazy. It is easy to just binge watch TV shows all night instead of say, spend an hour building a business or, you know, reading a book even like you don't even have to, you know, have side hustles, but just, you know, doing something that will help you grow and

And so I think that that's a great reminder. So thank you for that story and for what you're doing to make a difference in the world too. Yeah. And like, just to be clear, like I love to get down on a good Netflix bench. Like, let me tell you, I get down on a Netflix bench, but at the same time, like,

Something that you're familiar with, but people who are not familiar with me is I'm a big proponent of weekly planning. I feel it's the biggest thing that really helps me live intentionally. And so every Sunday I sit down and I spend anywhere from 30 to 45 minutes and I ask myself some simple questions like, what are my goals for this week? Are my goals on my calendar? For example, right now I'm working on the nursing home project.

And so I'm like, okay, you know, what do I need to do this week to move that project forward? And is it on my calendar? And like, it's hard. Like it is really hard. My life is just as busy as everybody else's, but my priorities are actually showing up on my calendar and on my credit card.

where I spend my time and where I spend my money. And so I would encourage anyone listening, make a checklist for yourself every Sunday that you just review and answer a couple of questions. Like what are my goals right now in life? You know, it could be just a couple of quick goals. And are they on my calendar? Is my like fitness and my routines and like, do I have time for those or those on my calendar? And I also have this idea that like every week you should have something we're looking forward to on your calendar.

And so something new, something different, something outside of your routine every week should be on your calendar. And

And so I just kind of go through like a handful of questions and I look for it. And I noticed like this week, I was like, man, I have a crazy week. I mean, my brain is going to be a total spicy meatball by the end of this week. And I was like, I've got to find time to work on this project. And so I was like, all right, well, cool. Well, you know what? I should have all the funds raised by like Friday. So Saturday I have to go now and not go have to, I get to go and have a shopping spree for,

old folks in the nursing home. I'm like, I'm going to go to like Target and like buy every like adult coloring book and colored pencil. Cause those are a couple of things on the list, but it was kind of crazy. Cause it was just like, my week is so insane this week, but like, I got to go buy supplies. Cause like, that's my project. Right. And so how would your life change if before it began, you decided what you wanted your week to look like? Like, how do you win the week before you begin the week? And so that is how I have become much more intentional.

And it is hard. It is so hard to do, but it is so rewarding to do. And once you start doing it, it will change your life. Yeah, I love those tips. And I also have found the value in weekly planning. I was on vacation last week, but I came back a day early and it helps me just kind of get resettled for my week. And then on Sunday, I have a planner and I wrote down all of like my work meetings and I wrote down any things that I've kind of added to my calendar in the last week that didn't

make it on my planner. Through a text message, I planned dinner or something and I just hadn't been transitioning my calendar yet. And then with some work projects, I blocked out time like, okay, on Thursday morning for a couple hours, I got to make sure I block off my calendar so I can get this project done. And then just kind of blocking out my week for work stuff and then also around my running and

And yeah, just making those priorities definitely makes me feel a lot more prepared going into the week just to know like, okay, like this might be really busy, but at least I kind of know what's coming up instead of, you know, the day before scrambling to finish a project or doing an assignment or whatever it might be. But if something comes up new, like, oh, hey, your friend wants to go to dinner, then you can, you know, fit it in.

at a time that you feel like will be best because you've already listed your priorities. So I really like- And you know, people will ask me too, because I understand not everybody lives and dies by their calendar like I do. And I totally get that. But like, I do think there's an element of like, even if you just kind of,

map it out from a high level, if you're like, okay, I've got to move this, I've got to change this, or a crate, I can't go to the, you know, the store on Saturday to buy nursing home supplies. I'm like, okay, well, it's Wednesday, where else can I do this? And now I know because it's on my calendar for the week, or you're, you're kind of master to do list, if you'd like to live off the list, then I can move it around. And I think the other thing that I've noticed with weekly planning that most people don't take into account is if you're a high achiever, a high achiever, or you're a goal getter, like you need to plan downtime.

And so I do what I, you know, what I call introvert hour. And I plan specific evenings during the week where I'm like, I'm going to be home in my sweatpants and I'm going to pound some popcorn and watch some YouTube. Like that is what I like to do or some TEDx talks like that is my guilty pleasure. And then I don't feel guilty anymore.

And then also the same time, what I noticed is like, it allows me to show up on other days and push myself a little harder. Like, you know what, you know, Tuesday night, I'm going to be chilling, but like it's Monday and like, it's go time. I got to get some things in, I got to get things done. But because I kind of pace myself with the, and I kind of like spread it out a little bit, like this week, I have two evenings where I was like, man, this week is totally bonkers.

I'm going to need a little extra downtime to survive and stay sane. And so I did a plan like two nights weekend, but the rest of this week is just a straight up NASCAR style. Like burning rubber, like all week. It's crazy, but it's good. It's good. You know? So I think like in,

Intentionality, starting small is better than not starting at all. So if you feel like you want to be more intentional, like just, you know, choose one or two things this next week where you're like you go into the week and you're like, all right, if I get these two things done, it's a great week.

and choose something that really matters to you, you know, and make it something like, like, oh, I feel a little uncomfortable doing that. Right. Yeah. I love that really simple tip too. And it's something I've tried to work on too, especially I'm going to apply it to like work when I got a long list of to-dos at work, I'm thinking like, okay, like if I just had to pick like three things that I,

had to get done this week or that I would feel good about doing this week, even if things go crazy, then at least I know like, okay, I got these like three things done. So I've tried to do that similar action too. Absolutely. And I think there's a lot to be said for,

when you're like, you cannot think and do at the same time. It's literally different parts of your brain and use this to your advantage. So, you know, when you think about work, like literally I sit down in the morning and I'm like, okay, let me just zoom up real high for a second. Like what really needs to happen today if I'm being like,

you know, truly productive and not just reactive to random like pings. And so I'll look at and just like set what I call like MIT for the day, like most important tasks. And it's like three to five things. Like if I cross these things off the list, I'm stoked. And like, it's usually a little bit of a push for me. But it really helps me like you cannot, the same thing with your week is like, you cannot be in the week and like,

planning the week. It's just two different sides of your brain, like thinking and doing. And so that's why stepping out of the moment and saying like, what's most important this week in my life? What's most important today in work and just spending five or 10 minutes, I can totally change what you accomplish. Like if you just jot those couple of things down, like sticky note or something and stick it on your desk or whatever your preferred method of

you know, productivity is like, it really, it changes things. Yeah. I couldn't agree more. Thank you. So I want to take a step back a little bit to your TEDx talk.

Can you share what that experience was like, how you got invited, what your main points of your talk was about, like just kind of that experience. You touched upon it a little bit earlier when you were talking about your grandmother, but I'd love to hear more about that. Yeah. So the most common question I get about how to score a TEDx talk, like how do you get a TEDx talk? And my answer is live a life worth talking about. Like

Like that's the easiest way to get a TEDx talk. Like it was always on my bucket list to do one, but I became obsessed with living a life that people would want to like hear about. And that was more so for me, not because I thought I was going to end up on a TEDx stage. Like when I started the Year of Fear project, people thought I was crazy. Like it took them years to call me cool. And so that's why I always say like, people will call you crazy long before they'll call you cool and just do it anyway. Cause like the people that we admire, you know,

they're always, you know, people think they're batshit crazy when they're doing their thing. And people did me too. I remember people being like, what are you doing? Like when I went out on the, um, like the police ride along, uh, like all my friends are staying out late. And I was like, sorry, folks, I got to peace out. I got a police ride along in the morning. Like all my friends are like going out and they're like, what are you talking about? And I'm like, ah, I'm just doing this thing. You know? And of course they ask and people thought it was crazy. And so, um,

giving the TEDx talk was really just living that before I realized it was like, yeah, just live a life worth talking about. And so yeah, I had a friend who did a TEDx talk and I got connected to the organizer. And normally you have to apply and get accepted. And they just saw like the story and

the details and the blog. And they were like, you're in like, let's do this. And I was like, awesome. This is great. Yeah. And so that's kind of how I got in far as like, you know, the process and doing it. I think like it was terrifying. It was, I was so scared. You want your life to matter. You want your big moments to matter. And like,

What I've learned in life is your best is enough. Even if it's not enough for other people. Do I look back now and think I could have wrote a better talk, a different talk a million times? Do I do I get embarrassed every time somebody watches it? Of course. Right. Because to me, I'm like, man, I was going through like such a gut wrenching experience.

And then like, as a speaker, like I was basically had like the angry, you know, what's that grumpy cat? Like it's the one with the little frown. I feel like that's what I looked like the whole time on stage. And so I'm barely self-conscious about that, you know? And I think like going through that experience though, but what I love about it is it taught me like we have so much more in the tank than we realize. Like when it comes to facing your fears, when it comes to raising your standards, when it comes to just showing up and doing the thing, because I,

Everybody who knew me was like, I can't believe you did this. When my grandma passed away, she was in the ICU for a week. I was living in the ICU and then I had to plan her funeral and pay for her funeral. Like all these things. And like, I was running a business at the same time. And like, I was also homeless technically because I just moved out of an RV and

So it was just like this culmination of crazy. And like, I still showed up and I still did it. And so, you know, now years later, like I'll look back, like I'll be having a tough day. And I'm just like, you've got this, like you can do tough things, like prove to yourself that you can do hard things. Like, you know, Glennon Doyle says we can do hard things. That's what I think is beautiful about just challenging stuff is like you prove to yourself. And that's where like so much of our self-worth comes in.

And you and I kind of talked about this a little before we jumped on. It was just like, you know, kindness and like compassion for yourself. And it's just like, you got to do that hard stuff. Like that's where your self-respect comes from. And so I think that was...

something that was really cool out of the TEDx talk was just realizing that like my whole entire world could crash down around me and I'd still somehow find the resilience to walk on the most important stage of my life and just give it my best. Now, was it my best during normal times? Of course not. But was it my best at the bottom, at the rock bottom? You know, absolutely. And so I'm proud of myself for that. You're never going to be ready for the most important moments of your life. You're

You're just not, life is not going to prepare you and you're going to feel underappreciated

under prepared, under qualified, and you can still do it, you know, and the only way you become qualified is by doing it. You know, nobody feels qualified when they walk on the tech stage. Like, in every like speaking engagement I've ever been invited to, I was so under qualified for I'm still so under qualified. I can't believe people put me on stage. Like, it's crazy. And so I just want anybody to know, like, if you're listening, like we all feel under qualified. It doesn't matter how cool we look on the internet, or like on stage, like I show up and I really try to do it

amazing job. And I'm scared like so much. I just realized like six months ago that literally for the last six years, I've been walking on stage through panic attacks, had no idea. And so that's how terrified I was. I remember the first time I had like my first major speaking engagement with my friends, Mark and Angel, they have this conference called Think Better, Live Better. And they're like super famous on the internet. They're kind of a big deal.

And so they invited me to their conference and they're like, yeah, will you speak at this conference? And I'm like, sure. Like how long am I speaking for? Like 45 minutes. That's a long time in case anybody doesn't know that's a long time. And then on top of that, I'm like, oh, by the way, we're going to have you be like the closing keynote. And I'm like,

They realize I've never done this before. Like, oh my God. And so, and I of course said yes, because it was during my year of fear. So I was like, oh God, I'm terrified. I have to say yes. And like, I remember walking on stage and

And they filmed it like really high quality cameras. My knees were shaking so hard. I was convinced they were going to catch it on camera. It was so bad. And I was in heels. I never wear heels on stage ever now because of that. Like I literally shake and yeah, it was like so underqualified. And the same thing happened with dead edge. I was like,

God, I'm so underqualified for this. This is awesome. I can't believe they invited me. It's amazing. I love your honesty about the experiences too. And just reminding people, I feel like just our whole talk has just been one giant pep talk of like, you can do amazing things. Just go and try. Yeah.

And so thank you for that. I think if we realized how unawesome other people feel, it'd make us realize the way we feel is actually 100% normal. My goal, every time I talk, every time I write, every time I speak is like, I just want to remind you that I'm not a superhero. I was born average and I decided to be awesome. And I decide to be awesome every day. And like, it's hard. Like it's hard to...

be brave to show up, to be intentional, to do the, you know, the right things, to be the bigger person, to, to organize projects like donating to nursing homes, you know, like those things are not easy, but they're fulfilling and they make life worth living. I don't think that everybody realizes they don't have to be like on the level that I do that. Like you can do it in a smaller way, you know, like it doesn't have to be huge to really just be for you. And everybody's got a crazy idea right now.

Like everybody's like, oh, I got this weird idea. Like, I really want to do this thing. My, my message to you is do it. Everybody is going to admire you. Even if they don't tell you, they will come out later and say, Hey, like, I think you did like, that was so cool. Like, how'd you come up with that? Right. And it's just like,

I thought like all my ideas are super weird. And then eventually people thought I was cool, but I'm still super weird all the time. Like I love a nursing home thing. People are going to think I was like a total wacko, but apparently people like don't. And that's really awesome. And even if they did, it doesn't matter. Your ideas are your gifts. So don't cheat the world out of them. I love that. Thank you for those thoughts.

Something that you want to talk about is kindness to yourself. Do you want to expand a little bit more on that? Yeah. So 2021 was the hardest year of my life.

So some people know about this, some people don't. And I haven't been super public about it, but I just, my entire 21 has been like running uphill or like, you know, like if like life had like a pitching machine, like the little speedball machine and just pelts you to death with problems and challenges. That's basically been my year. And so at the, like the very beginning of the year, a couple of different things happened.

And one, I got my identity stolen, which is as terrifying as it sounds. And so basically I had all these people from like India trying to hack into my accounts and that was crazy. Steal my life savings. That was terrifying for weeks. And then beginning of the year, lost like 70% of my clients in my agency. Then went through a

natural snowstorm, like snowpocalypse in Texas was living in my car to stay alive. And then shortly after that ended a five-year relationship with my ex-fiance who also happened to be like my business partner. And we ran a conference together. We spoke on stage together, very public relationship. And so this year has just been so challenging and like

I just hit like the lowest point. And I realized, you know, like I could be so bummed about this and I could be so mean to myself. Like, how did you end up in this spot? And I was like, you know what? I've been beating myself up for 34 years and it hasn't worked. Like it just hasn't. Like I'm going to try something totally radically different and just not let that voice like drive the bus anymore. And so, you know, occasionally like I still have to like punch it in the jaw because it tries to come out. And I'm like, no, like this is not, you are not in charge anymore.

You had the steering wheel for so many years. It's completely changed my life. And I know that that's hard for some people to just be like, yeah, I'm going to shut my inner critic up. But I'm like, at the same time, like, what do you have to lose? Because if you're anything like me, you've been doing it for a long time and sweetheart, it's not working.

So like, you know, I just started taking spin classes, which makes me want to die while I'm in them. They're so hard, but awesome. And like, you know, old me because like I have cerebral palsy, so I have no rhythm, like zero rhythm. And so these classes are like intense and they're like really physically fit. And like old me would have been like, oh God, I'm the slowest person in here. And like, God, I can't, I can't hit the beat at all. I'm just a total hot mess on a bike. And so now

Now I'm just like, girl, you got this. The only goal is to just survive this class. Like if you can just get through this class, like you are a total badass.

And so like, that's how I talk to myself now. And I'm like, why not? What do I got to lose besides like hating myself? That sounds like a great idea. And so it's interesting, like how often our inner critic where we should be our own inner cheerleader and it's, we're basically our own inner critic. And like, I just realized if I could change this one thing, how big of a difference it would make. It takes time. You know, it takes experimentation and there's still days I feel like a blob.

And like, there's still days that I, you know, don't feel like a superhero. Like even today I had a super hard day, you know, it was just like, God dang life just pelted me with like four, you know, baseballs to the face today. I'm like, Oh, but at the same time, like it's life. Right. And so, um,

just learning to talk better to myself, like that's a skill worth investing in. And whatever it takes for you, you know, I think that if you're a woman listening to this, man, we are so vicious, you know, like so vicious. And when you start talking better about yourself, you'll start loving other people more too. And I think that's another like side effect of it. That's really good. So whatever that takes for you, for me, it took my entire life burning down. Hopefully it won't take that for you. But like, you know, they say like, what is it like a

wisdom is learning from other people's mistakes without having to make the mistake and so like

How can you, even if it's just, you know, again, starting small, it's better than not starting at all. Whenever you want to say something super negative yourself, like what's the exact opposite? Just say that, like, just play that game. Right. Like, that's kind of what I do. Or I'm like, Oh, like you're a total little fat blobby on this little bike. Like you're going to fall off and probably break a leg. I'm like, yeah, possibly. But at the same time, like I'm going to, I'm here, I'm doing this. Like I showed up, you know what? That is a win.

And like, it doesn't matter how I finish just that I finished. And so changing that mindset, especially if you're an athlete, it's like, it's so easy to compare yourself and your times to other people. But like, nobody has the same like recipe as you. Nobody has the same body stature. They don't have the same mental capacity. Like,

you know, physical things, mental things, like nobody had the week you had the life you had. If you can learn to compare yourself just to you and say, instead of being better than other people, how can I be 1% better today than I was yesterday? Because that's a, that's an even playing ground. Like all the ingredients are the same. And so like when I show up to spin class, which is basically my form of running, I'm just like, dude, how do I get a little bit better at hitting the beat?

Like just a little bit. Can I get one move right? Because that would be a major upgrade. Like literally I was in class yesterday and I was like, oh, I think I got one move down. I'm like the whole class. Everybody else is crushing it. I'm just like a little, a drunk giraffe on a bike over there. Like it's just such a mess. And it's so great. And I'm like, you know what? Maybe there's a new person in class and they see me and they're like, oh, at least I'm not as bad as that person. Oh my God.

Yeah. If I can make other people feel great about themselves, my life is a win. We're all just trying our best. We're all confused. We all have no idea what we're doing. The only, I heard this quote and it was like, the only normal people are the people you don't know very well. And I'm like, it's so true. I'm not normal by any means. And people like, you know, look up to me and I'm like, that's flattering, but I'm just, I'm just as broken as you. So like, use me as inspiration for being awesome. I'm like, let's try to be awesome together.

I mean, you made me laugh and smile. I didn't realize I called myself a drunk giraffe. I don't even know what to say other than thank you for your honesty and your inspiration and just that positive message. Like, I feel like this is an episode that when I'm having a bad day, I'm going to listen to you. And if the part about a drunk giraffe on a bike doesn't get you to smile.

Just know that whatever you're doing and trying to be awesome at, and you feel like a total idiot, it's okay. Everybody feels like they're the drunk giraffe in the room. It's not just you. Like we all feel like we're struggling. That's all right. Have a good time. Yes. Have a good time. I think that's a good message and just show up and do your best. You know, it's like the, the idea of just like, you know, showing up is winning.

like whatever time you showed up to run it's like yeah of course like yeah maybe you want to hit a certain time or a certain length or whatever that's cool like I dig that push yourself go for it but at the same time some days you just got to give yourself credit they're like you know what just showing up today that's the win because that's how you hit like that you know those personal records and just personal goals I mean like I went to the gym last like last week I think it was and um

I try to stay like really fit. I have a background of CP, cerebral palsy. So like my body is like whack is crack sometimes and has a lot of weird strength issues. And so, you know, sometimes I go to the gym and like last week I was really struggling and literally every single exercise was so hard. It took me 50% longer to do my workout.

Cause I time I work out some stuff. And so I was like, man, it's crazy. It took me literally, you know, 50% longer today to do this workout. And I was like, that's okay. The goal today was to show up. Some days is to come in the gym and just crush it. Like, Oh, I'm feeling great. Right. And then some days it's like, no, the goal is just to show up so that I'm ready to crush it because like some days that's going to be where you're at. Right. Like we talked about earlier, like some days, like everything's floating in the right direction and the water's not like

you know, coming towards you, you're going downstream instead of upstream and like everything, you know, you're, you got to get sleep and like your life isn't too stressful that day or that week. And so it's like some days winning is just showing up and like, give yourself grace and like stick with it. And like, whatever that long-term goal is like, that's how you get there. It's like, just,

taking the highs with the lows and like it all averages out to be something awesome. Yeah. I feel like that kind of connects to one of the other topics you wanted to expand on, which was seasons of life and how like we go through the ebbs and flows on that. What do you want to share about that topic? Yeah. So, so we talked about this a little bit earlier, but like, I think it's really important to understand what season you're in and let's just talk about, you know, high level pandemic. It's like, you know, in the pandemic, you can't compare

compare pre-pandemic life to pandemic life, right? Now we're so used to it because we've been in it for a while, but it's the same thing if you're going through like a really chaotic or stressful or like a crisis, you cannot compare like crisis life to like

calm, normal, like only semi stressful. And so it's life as a practice, right? So like, you know, for me as a writer, like I was silent for like two years, you know, and I just I had things happening. And so and I was also creating in a few different ways. But like, I felt kind of guilty for that for a little while. And then it was like, no, that was just a season, you know, and so whatever you're going through, like,

step back for a second and just be like, what season am I in right now? Is it chaotic? Like sometimes it's like that time where you can really double down or work on that thing. And then other times you got to like give yourself a little space and a little grace. And it doesn't mean that you won't ever write again. It doesn't mean that you won't ever run again. Like whatever that thing for you is, you know, like how yoga is a practice. I feel like so many things in life are a practice. We just don't realize it. We try to be all or nothing and all or nothing is where you lose. Because what I've learned as I grew older is like,

So much in life is the gray zone. Like it's not black or white. It's learning to live in the gray. It's learning to be patient when you want to be impatient. It's learning to, you know, not judge yourself when you don't show up, but being like, all right, I'll get back on it tomorrow. You know, like I'll get back on the next week or like the summer is crazy for me. So this, this winter, you know, or fall or whatever. And so I'd encourage you to consider like, what is that season that you're in and the goals that you have? Because sometimes you can have competing priorities, right?

And sometimes you think you suck at life and no, it's just like your schedule sucks. Like your, your commitments, which you can't change. Just that's it. You know, don't be so hard on yourself. And like, sometimes one of my favorite things to say again, is just starting small is better than not starting at all. Where can you fit in, you know, five or 10 minutes or one run a week and like, just start somewhere. You might, it might not be ideal.

but it's better than nothing. And eventually it will add up like seasons change and priorities change. And if you've got like a house full of kids and you're like, yeah, I can't get on my fitness game or whatever. It's like, well, yeah, of course you can't. So what can you do? Focus more on what you can do than what you can't do and leverage that because so often we spend so much time focusing on what we can't do instead of just asking ourselves, okay, now what, what can I do? And I think that's a great place to start. And like life gets better when you ask better questions, just

Straight up, ask better questions. You get better answers. You get better results. You get better feelings. You get better everything. So your brain will find an answer to any question you ask it. It's literally built that way. So ask it questions worth answering. I'm like speechless. I don't even know what to say other than I love what you are sharing. And I hope that my listeners are enjoying it as much as I am, because I just feel like

The things that you're sharing are things that we need to be reminded of on a regular basis. And too often we go down the path of all the things that are going wrong instead of focusing on the things that are going right or the things that we can do on a regular basis. So thank you for just sharing those insights and thoughts and encouraging to ask questions.

different questions so that we can get different answers and live a different life. Yeah. The internal conversations you have in your head are the biggest opportunity to change your life. It's just this internal soundtrack. The biggest challenge you'll ever have is taming the space between your own two years. It just is. And like, you know, all these things that I share are just all things I've learned. So it's not like,

I know these things because I'm better than these things, but like I've had to learn them firsthand, you know? And so, you know, that's what's worked for me. And I'm always constantly learning. And if you're a growth oriented person, you will always feel unfinished. You'll always feel like I've got one more thing I got to do. I got one more thing I got to do.

more way I gotta level up and it's like well yeah you do you got you always got to keep growing if you got a pulse like you've got an opportunity to grow but at the same time it's like you know pulling from opposite directions of learning to grow while like being content and realizing like you'll never be done you're always a work in progress and like that's great that's great news you can't get it wrong you just keep trying again and keep trying to level up and you know as you go along share with other people what works for you and and be an example for other people

This is something that I've learned is like, I used to try to change people. Like I choose to try and like inspire them and coach them through. And like most of the people I was trying to do that with, like they just didn't really care. Like I care more about their life than they did. And so when I realized like, you know what, instead I'm just going to live a bad-ass life and I'm going to try to live by example so that the people that are interested will notice and we can do awesome things together. And that gave me a lot of my energy back.

was just like, all right, let me just focus on me. Let me focus on taking care of my side of the road. There's an author I love. Her name is Terry Cole. She always says like, not my circus, not my monkeys. And I was like, man, I'm trying to tame everybody's circus, but my own. Like, let me just focus on my own stuff. And yeah, my life got way better. You get so much time and attention back and you'll never feel complete and don't feel like,

you're broken because of that. Cause we all feel that way. And so I hope that the conversations that we've had here today just make people feel like, Oh, you know, all those feelings I was having, Oh, they're just normal. People just don't have those conversations. Like nobody posts about how unconfident or insecure they feel on Instagram. Like nobody does. Like we're all just trying to be awesome on Instagram. Like Instagram,

Instagram is not real life or whatever social platform of choice is. But it is a great way to connect with people. And it's just be careful who you compare yourself to and make sure it's only yourself because comparing yourself to other people, you'll never win. You'll never win against them. You'll always think they're way cooler than they actually are because you can't see all their baggage. It's not a fair comparison. So just compare to you because you can see

all the stuff, all the aspects of you. Um, and it's consistent. And then it's like, okay, now let me be 1% better. Like, let me just focus on that. And like, that's achievable and that's sustainable and like can do that. So, so hopefully everybody feels like, Hey, I'm not broken. I'm just normal. At least normal among us. Yeah, for sure. We're the higher achievers constantly wanting to do the next big thing. Yeah.

Absolutely. And that's great. I love, I love being a goal getter and a growth oriented person. Like it's just life is more fulfilling. And I think it's great that people listen to this kind of stuff. Like life just gets better. The more you take responsibility for your life. Couldn't have said it any better. I feel like we could just keep on talking for hours, but yeah,

but I would love to kind of just wrap up with a couple of my favorite questions that I ask all of my guests is the first one is what are you currently obsessed with or loving right now? Oh, what a good question. I'm obsessed with not being lazy in like my relationships. So let me give you an example. So my, my grandpa was, it was married to my grandma for like 20 plus years. And my, my grandpa was a truck driver and he,

I didn't get to know my grandpa as well as I wanted to when I was younger. And I realized that like my grandpa's a phone guy and I'm not really a phone person. And I realized that like, I had to make time. I had to quit being lazy in my relationship with my grandpa if I wanted to have one. And so I set a reminder every Saturday to call my grandpa because I love my grandpa. And like, he's a truck driver, so he's never home. And like, I just realized like,

I can't be lazy with my grandpa. Like if I want to have a relationship with him, I got to show up. And so, and then I realized that my other friendships, I was being lazy. Like my brother who's freaking awesome. He's like my hero. He's a single dad and he's in recovery and he's just kicking ass at life. And like, he has, he has a son and like, I haven't really built a relationship with him. And so I was like, Oh, I'm being a lazy aunt.

And so I like call my brother and I was like, yo, we got to start planning like long distance dates for me and my nephew. And so I've got all these creative ideas and how I want to show up my nephew. And so I love this idea of like, we talk about being like intentional in our careers and like other stuff. And like, I realized like, oh, I'm being intentional.

really lazy in my, my relationships. And so I'm really obsessed with just like showing up and just like loving people and being there for them and asking how their week went because life gets busy. And like, you forget about that stuff. One day, like my, my nephew is going to be big. And like, when I come home to visit, like, I want him to be like, Oh, that's my Aunt Kendra. She's awesome. The other day we had a conversation about when he turns 18, he wants to go skydiving. And I was like, I will totally take you skydiving. He saw a video of me skydiving. I

That's how I came up. I was like, oh man, that's so cool that he saw that. I have no idea how he saw it, but yeah, if I hadn't been intentional, just showing up. And so I encourage you to just ask yourself, like who's somebody you love and what would you regret not ever saying to them or just asking them? Because like,

you know, like for my grandpa, when my grandpa's gone, like all the stories of me as a kid and how we bonded and things he knows will go with him. So like, I'm just obsessed and like calling my grandpa on Saturdays. That's what I'm obsessed about. Yeah, no, I love that. And I also can relate to the aunt thing too. Even though I'm lucky that-

Most of my nieces and nephews live close to me, but just that intention of wanting to have a relationship with them too. It does take work when their family is busy and, you know, I have my own life too, but just having that intention of wanting to develop that relationship with the kids in your life and the family members in your life, I think that's a really important message.

Here's the thing. If you got time to hang out on Instagram, you got time to call your damn grandpa, like hands down. Like how much time do we waste on crap that does not matter? I'm just obsessed with like idea right now. I'm just like, don't be lazy. Like show up for people, like do those things. I'm like, you know, it's a balance. Like I got to take care of me too. But it's like, I realized like, yeah, I'm being lazy. Just being really intentional and for the relationships that really matter that I could do a better job.

Thank you for that message. Now you mentioned Netflix earlier. What are you currently binging right now? I would say that I'm binging like comedy stuff because I'm really serious in life and I've learned like I need to lighten up. And so I just like, I've been binging like really fun comedians and like,

now my YouTube just like, you know, like auto-suggests everything. So I've been binging a lot of stuff that makes me laugh. I feel the same way. I've had family members tell me like, you just need to watch like funny stuff to lighten up a little bit. So yeah, just trying to find that balance. Yeah.

Putting different energies into your life, right? Yeah, definitely relate to that. So my last question is what does chasing life mean to you? Great question. Chasing life to me means knowing who you want to be and like who, like what your highest self looks like and like relentless devotion to becoming that. And it all comes down to everything we've talked about today. It's like stepping outside your comfort zone, not being lazy, not being

being very intentional, doing the things that other people don't want to do because they're just on autopilot and giving yourself grace, this push and pull between being your best self, but loving yourself for where you're already at. And just, you know, relentlessly pushing forward, appreciating where you're at and keeping your eye on where you're going at the same time. It's just like, get everything out of this life that you can. And that includes like

All your goals, but also like Saturdays on the couch, right? Like it's all those things. And I think what's most important is like, what do you want out of this life? What goals do you want? What do you want to be proud of yourself for? Think about all the people that you admire and you envy and what are they doing? Because that's the secret to what you really want to do.

It really is. Like everybody you're like, oh, I see that person doing that thing. And they're like, so cool. It's like, listen to your voice when you say that, when you compare, when you envy. And it's like, that's what your deepest self wants. So when you see somebody doing something that you're like, I want to, you know, that's really cool. Like make a list.

That's how the year started for me. But I was like, Oh, I saw people doing crazy stuff. I was like, Oh, I saw my friend go beekeeping. And I was like, I've never been beekeeping. I want to go beekeeping. And I just started keeping a list of everything awesome, all the awesome people I knew did. And then I just did it.

And so I think that's the same thing. If you want to live an incredible life, just take notes from other people that inspire you if you're not sure where to start, because that's where I started. I think that's great advice and a great place to wrap up. So if people enjoy this conversation as much as I did, where can they find you connect with you? What are all the things that you're involved with that you can help people with?

Yeah, so the probably the easiest place to find me, I have a website called heykendra.com, H-E-Y-K-E-N-D-R-A. And probably follow me right now on Instagram. I've been posting a lot of like short writings there. And my Instagram handle is at

Kendra rocks life. So those are like the two places to look me up on the internet. I'm also extremely accessible by email. Like I respond to every email, even if it takes me a little bit of time. So you can always email me at Kendra at akendra.com. So I love hearing from people and I particularly love hearing

what you're doing to step outside your comfort zone, face your fears, live intentional, and just be the badass that you were born to be. Cause we're all trying to work towards that. And we're all on that same journey. It's a great journey to be on. I get inspired by other people doing that stuff too. So I love to hear about it.

Thank you. Thank you so much for your time. I know we went a little bit over. I love being here and chatting with you. All right. Thank you. Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it on social media. Tag me at Sarah Chasing Life or at Chasing Life Podcast. If you haven't already, please be sure to subscribe and rate this podcast. That helps me to reach more listeners.