how to appear more confident to others
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Hello, my beautiful friends, and welcome back to the Claim Your Power podcast, the ultimate show for all things spirituality, self-love, and personal development. I'm your host, Kim Perez. I'm a two-time author, content creator, yoga teacher, and entrepreneur. You are at the right place if you're ready to tap into your gifts, unleash your potential, and become your higher self. It's time to claim your power.

Hello my beautiful friends and welcome back to the pod. Right now it's 9.41am for me so good morning if you're listening to it in the morning. If it's the afternoon, good afternoon. If it's the evening, if it's 12am, good night. Whatever time it may be for you, I'm happy you're here. Before I kick off the episode, I just want to remind you guys that I'm hosting a full moon circle on April 6th.

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It really helps your girl out and I'm just so grateful. And now without further ado, let's jump into the episode. Today we're going to be talking about how to appear more confident to others. So I have so many tips on these. I'm going to talk about the five top tips that I think are life-changing and

For this podcast episode, I highly suggest taking out a notebook, writing these babies down. They're really going to help you out. They're going to change your entire life and also the way that people perceive you. It's crazy. I'm telling you that after you listen to this episode and you start assimilating these tips,

Wow. The first thing you need to realize about confidence is that it is completely an inside job. Nothing outside of you is ever going to make you confident. No person, no accomplishment, nothing. And every single time that you put your confidence on an external thing, you're putting yourself down this rabbit hole

of instant gratification because maybe in that moment like getting into a new relationship or making more money or landing that job is going to make you feel more confident but then of the day those accomplishments and those other people aren't going to fulfill you from the inside out they're just going to gratify you in the moment and so knowing your value and knowing you're confident from within and just reminding yourself like i am on this earth i was born into this life

And I am breathing this air and just like that, that makes me valuable and worthy and that allows me to be confident in myself. That is a gift in itself. You have to deeply know your value from inside your heart. You cannot allow other people to determine your value. And I have a really good example for this. So this is like a little analogy that I think is going to explain this.

When you go into a restaurant and you are sitting at the table and you are ordering off the menu, you don't look at the waiter and you say, oh, I want this steak, but I'll pay $5 for it instead of $80. You are sitting at the nicest five-star restaurant. You know that steak is valuable. It's expensive. It's going to be the best steak of your life. But you look at the waiter and you're like, I just want to pay $5 for it. Like, I'm not going to pay the $80. Right?

the waiter is going to look at you and say excuse me that's not going to work out the price is already determined the menu already decided the price and it's non-negotiable and that my friends is exactly how you should be viewing yourself some people in this world are not going to see your value or maybe they see your value and they're going to want to bargain or they're not going to see you as good enough

But you determine your price. You determine your value. You determine every single day that you're a 10 out of 10, that you're high value, that you're amazing, that you're worthy. You decide that. Nobody else, nobody can put a price tag on you. You're the only person who does. So if you put a price tag that you're a one out of 10, that you're disgusting, that you're ugly, that you're not enough, that is what everybody else is going to see that. Like they're going to look at the menu. They're going to see your name. They're going to say, oh, this is how much she's worth because that's what she decided to be.

If you decide that you're high value and you wake up in the morning and you decide that you are valuable, that you are amazing, you're a 10 out of 10, guess what? Everybody else in your life is going to start seeing you that way because you determine the price. You have to walk into every single room as if the universe sent you there, as if your presence is needed. Your light is needed in that room. Your energy...

Like is bringing up that room. That is how you have to walk into every single place that you go into. And I'm going to teach you guys a little visualization technique for appearing more confident that I like to do that is honestly life changing. And I actually did it the other day. And it was really, really interesting because I did that visualization that day. And that entire rest of my day, I was getting compliments left and right. I was getting told by people.

So many people, like random people in the elevator, random people that I was meeting and also like all my friends that I looked very pretty and radiant. And I didn't do anything different. Like I didn't look any different. I didn't like do a huge makeup and I wasn't wearing like a fancy dress. But I just changed my energy that day. I was really tapped into confidence.

And I'm going to teach you how to do it. True confidence is all about being tapped into your feminine energy and knowing your value from within. And with that comes the ability to not be afraid to take up space.

Because so many of us have been trained and conditioned from a very young age to believe that it's not okay to take up space. Maybe you've been socialized by your parents, by your teachers, by your peers, that it's not okay to be confident or to be authentic or to be true or to spread your light.

And I'm here to tell you the exact opposite. The more space you're willing to take up and the more you allow yourself to radiate your true energy, the more that people will respond to you in a positive, loving way. In order to actually be confident, you have to be okay with taking up space, with people noticing you, with being seen. You can't be confident and radiant but then hide. You cannot be afraid to be you.

Because you being you, like you being authentic, that is where the magic is. And that is your most radiant, amazing, loving, confident, beautiful self. When you hide yourself and you diminish your light, you are being of disservice to yourself. And also that is like the energetic signal that you're sending out to other people that you're not enough, that you shouldn't be noticed, that you shouldn't be complimented. You're very closed off.

But in your true confidence, in your true feminine energy, you have to lead with the open heart forward. Like you have to raise your chest, walk with your head high, do not let the crown fall and you have to know your value and be willing to take up space and not

like a selfish way where you don't let others talk and express themselves. No, the exact opposite. You hold space for other people. You're kind, you're loving, you're respectful, but you also hold space for yourself and you choose yourself and you know that you are valuable and worthy. So I like to do this quick visualization technique. It is very, very fast. You can do it from anywhere and it's life changing. So basically every single time before I walk into a room, I'm

I visualize myself grasping every corner of my room with my light. So I don't know.

I don't really know how to explain this because it's all like in my imagination, but this is like a known visualization technique. What you do before you step into a room, you imagine the room and you imagine yourself kind of like grabbing every single corner of the room and filling it up with white light. Basically what you're doing energetically is you're sprinkling your good loving energy across that room and you're grabbing its attention. You're grabbing its confidence and its light.

And that kind of connects back to what I said, like you have to walk into every single room as if the universe sent you there. And that is how you actually like attain that sense of confidence with yourself subconsciously. But it's also the type of energy that you send out to other people because energy doesn't lie. People are very intuitive and they can feel when someone has confident, loving energy and desperate energy, no matter what you say. You can say like, for instance, have you ever met someone that's always saying like, oh, I don't care what other people think. I don't care what other people think.

But you can just tell that they really really care what other people think because they constantly have to say it to other people But real people who don't care what other people think don't actually have to constantly say. Oh, I don't care if you like me I don't care what you think about me. They just know it They don't need to resay it to other people and reaffirm it to themselves. They just know it and act accordingly So that's tip number one is knowing your value knowing you're confident knowing you're worthy and acting like it genuinely, okay?

Tip number two, this is a really good one that not, I don't want to say like messes with people, but it definitely questions, allows people to question like how you're so powerful. Let me give you guys an example. This tip, by the way, is respond, don't react. And an example of this is if somebody brings you down, if somebody says something judgmental or like a joke on your expense,

What so many of us tend to do is get very defensive and we start to react. We start to take it very personally. That's kind of like the status quo. That is what's expected, especially from people who are genuinely consciously trying to bring you down like intentionally.

they are going to want that reaction out of you. It fuels them. They're an energy vampire. They want your energy. Your reaction, it gives away your power. It gives them your energy and then they feel powerful. And it's because those types of people haven't seen themselves, haven't looked at themselves in the mirror. They don't know how to connect to themselves. So they feel the need to bring other people down in order to uplift themselves. But you're going to do the exact opposite. You're going to do the unexpected because when you do something that is unexpected,

people start to question, oh, how does she feel so powerful? How is she so confident? How is she so unbothered? Because being confident is all about being unhinged and unbothered and knowing your value and knowing that your energy is enough.

So somebody, if you find yourself in a conversation with someone and they're saying a joke on your expense or they said something judgmental or not very nice, instead of reacting and defending yourself, I don't want you to react at all. I want you to take a breath, even though it's not easy. And I've definitely had my fair share of reactions to people. But I've been working on this personally myself and

It's life-changing. I'm telling you that people will also start really, really respecting you after that because you respect yourself enough not to give your energy to people like that. When you react to someone, you are giving your power away. Netto. And I want you to do the exact opposite. So the next time somebody does something like that to you, I want you to take a breath and

I want you to tell yourself in your head, I love myself. And I want you to look at that person in the eye and just stare at them. Be silent. Don't respond.

People get intimidated the fuck out of silence. They don't know what to do with themselves, especially people who are like that, who want to bring you down, who like, you know, they get entertainment and they get fuel out of your reaction. They're going to be so confused as to why you're not reacting to them. They're going to be so confused.

And they'll probably react in two different ways. They'll either keep going along with the joke because they'll realize that they have no power over you. So they'll try to grasp that. And if they do that, stay silent. Just say, okay, keep staring at them. Or they'll just like be like, did you not get the joke? And in those types of moments, you can respond in two different ways. You can either say, oh, I got the joke, but I didn't think it was funny.

But I think the more powerful thing to say is, I got the joke. Maybe you can joke around with some of your other friends or some other people in your life that way. But to me, it's disrespectful and I will not tolerate it. And usually, I have to say in preface that usually if you say a sentence like that, they're not going to respond in like a, oh my God, I'm so sorry way. Usually. Because those types of people who are doing that to you, they tend to not respect you or value you.

And so first of all, when you're saying that sentence, you're putting up your own boundary up good enough regardless. Even if they don't respond to it positively, you still honored yourself and put up the boundary. If they respond in like a way that's like, oh my God, you just can't take a joke. You're so sensitive, da da da. And I've seen that a lot with men specifically, like men who are so disconnected from themselves. Basically the opposite of a high value man will say that to you.

We'll get into that in a whole other episode. But basically, if somebody says something like that to you and they say, oh, you're so sensitive, you can't take a joke, just be like, yeah, maybe that's true. So don't say those things around me.

And that's it. But every single time that you say those things, you want to remain as calm and contained as possible. You don't want to yell. You don't want to react. You don't want to give them anything like you want to poker face. You are saying these sentences because you know you deserve more. And you know that when you give them a reaction, you're going to give your power away. But you need to stand tall, raise your head, do not let the crown fall and continue to appear unbothered, unhinged, because that is where your confidence is key.

You are keeping your energy to yourself. You're not giving it away. And those people will either start to respect you or they'll just like naturally dissolve, dissipate from your life. Tip number three, and this is a quick one and it's an easy one to implement. Eye contact.

People who are insecure and try to hide tend to not hold eye contact with other people. It's been psychologically proven. I've seen it myself. Have you ever like or even if somebody is embarrassed, like let's say you have a crush on someone, you're probably like so scared to make eye contact with them. You avoid eye contact with them at all costs.

But no my friends my girls you're gonna do the exact opposite You're gonna hold eye contact like you've never held before because people if you are able to hold eye contact Even if it's hard and in your head, even if you're like screaming and it's awkward and you're like, ah, this feels so weird I want you to hold the eye contact because that Wow Wow, I'm telling you also as a as a woman on a man being able to hold eye contact is

That's a very attractive thing and it's very confident. But regardless of like relationships, being able to hold eye contact, it exudes a very big sense of confidence, self-love,

And you just are radiating this magnetic energy that is over the roof. Because if you can hold eye contact with someone, that means that you are not scared of them, that you are not intimidated by them, that you know your worth, that you love yourself. And also it shows them that you are present, that you are listening, that you value them. And to them, to the other person, that gives a good feeling like, oh, they're present with me. So I know it's hard to do. For my girlies out there that are scared of the eye contact, I know it's hard.

But it's going to make you appear more confident and it's going to make you feel more confident. There's something very powerful that you will start to feel when you start holding eye contact. So try it out. Just try it out. Number four, easily accessible people appear to be average people.

And if you want to appear confident and magnetic, you have to be a little hard to get. And I'm not saying that. Okay. First of all, I want to preface this by saying when I say hard to get, it is not what you were probably thinking. It is not when you tell every man or every girl that you meet, oh, I'm so hard to get. My standards are so high. Like I don't go out with anyone. No, no, no. You are going to genuinely be hard to get.

And not hard to get in the bedroom, hard to get energetically. Like your energy is a privilege. Having access to you is a privilege. And so you are going to start surrounding yourself only with people who make you feel like your higher self, who make you feel confident, who make you feel empowered, who bring something, who...

Show you something about yourself in your life. You have to have a life of your own that you genuinely love, that you genuinely get excited about, and you have to exude that type of energy. And so then when people walk into your life, they're not suddenly going to flip your life upside down or change it, whether it's a friend or a job or a romantic partner. You have your life. You're anchored and rooted in who you are and the life that you love.

And that exudes confidence in itself. And so you're not available to everyone and everything. You're not always there because somebody who's always there is somebody who's easily accessible. And again, easily accessible people appear to be average people, but you wanna appear confident and magnetic. And that means that wherever your energy goes, your life follows. And so if you are at a room

People are lucky to hear you speak. People are lucky that you're in that room. And I'm not saying all of this in like a selfish sense that like you're above other people and you're on a pedestal and everybody else is below you. Not in that sense. It's more like a mutual understanding that, wow, your energy is so awesome and magnetic and your presence is so radiating. And so that you're in that room, you're bringing it up and people should feel so lucky and grateful to be around energy like that.

And also you want to be surrounding yourself with people who feel the exact same way, who know that their energy is special. And so you come together and form this confidence entourage of people and you just become so powerful. Okay, last tip. Tip number five is speak with intention. The way that you speak and carry yourself.

is a very big determinant on how confident and magnetic you appear. If you're someone who always has to speak first, who always has to one-up people, who doesn't let other people express their opinions, who's always yelling and da-da-da, you're not going to appear confident. You're going to appear desperate and annoying, to be frank. And I'm not saying you shouldn't be enthusiastic because, at least for me, like, I'm a very charismatic person. I'm not, like, very quiet. I like to say what I think.

I'm very vocal about my thoughts and my life. Like, look at this podcast. I talk to myself every week. Like, I need this outlet.

But I also have this sense of energy where like I allow other people to speak and I don't have to be the first person to speak on an issue or on a debate or on a conversation. You need to be able to hold space for yourself and also speak with intention. You don't have to say everything that's on your mind. You want to say what's empowering to say and what you actually mean. So taking a breath and slowing down your pace of words and speaking with intentions is

And when you're in a conversation with someone, letting them speak to and listening and actively holding space for them to say what they think. And then you can respond intentionally and speak with intention and use your words as your power, not as your sword. You will become very, very confident and people will start to respect what you have to say. Because at the end of the day, you want to respect what

you want people to respect like what you have to say and your opinions and if you are able to deliver what you want to say in a confident embodied manner instead of like this desperate clingy energy people will genuinely start to value you so i want to end this episode with one of my favorite quotes and it's very good it's very good it's a little confidence quote very short are you ready

Don't adapt to the energy in the room. Influence the energy in the room. Beautiful souls, thank you so much for joining me in today's episode. Feel free to leave a review or DM me any topic suggestions. I hope you feel inspired to claim your power today.

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