Zachary Levi | Club Random with Bill Maher
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They're mean to me, and I'm a way to the left of you.

Yeah, but you're mean to them. Don't choke lips. Oh, I know. They'll cut it together. Zach owns more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I did. Bill. Is that you? It's I. Hi. What's up, man? Nice to meet you. So nice to meet you, too. Thanks for having me in your club random. Yeah, you know, I brought this because it does, it can get very cold. Oh, is that yours? That's mine over there. You might need that, too.

I don't know. You know, look at the walls. They're like so, you know, wood absorbs. This gets cold. The brick gets cold? Well, sure. It's just, you know, I mean, this funky place doesn't... If it had... How long have you been here? Like, how long have you lived in this spot? I just got here, Zach. Shut the fuck up. Like a minute ago. What are you, high? I'm the one who gets high. Not yet. Oh, I've been in this...

Well, I live close by. I don't actually live here. Oh, okay. This is the party house. Always was. Then we made it into an official party house. But, you know, I'm just saying I brought the... Because it does kind of get cold. But never cold conversationally. No. I'm not worried about that. I'm sure that's going to stay nice and spicy. It's funny. I thought that it would be such an appropriate day...

because I don't know when we're going to air this, or as the kids say, drop it like a rock, like it's hot. But it's the day before Thanksgiving. Yeah. So I thought, since there was so much... My last editorial I did Friday was all about yelling at people who cut people off or suggest cutting people off for the holiday. Oh, I reposted it. Oh, you did? Oh, yeah. I mean, I, you know...

Well, we'll get into all that, I'm sure. But, you know, I know I've lost plenty of fans on the far left who like hate when I do that, but it's just so true and it's just so wrong. And so I do love to stick the knife in them when they do stupid things. I mean, advising you to cut off your family. And I understand how, I mean, nobody understands that.

You know, how much I didn't want Trump to be president more or said it more. But still, like, your family, I mean, just...

The lack of sort of common sense about, I mean, you'd think the one thing anyone can get is family. Like, it's always been the one thing that transcended politics. Yeah, well, true. And also, I mean, listen, I don't think anybody, there's plenty of people that live with or have to deal with quite unhealthy families. Like, politics aside, I don't think that blood should be so thick that you would allow for...

abusive relationships in your life, right? But that said, a lot of people, unfortunately, they see someone on the other side of the political aisle merely by having voted for Trump, if they're from the left, as that's abusive. They actually see it as an abusive behavior, which I don't agree with. If people don't know what we're talking about...

That's you. You got canceled for basically saying... Have I been canceled? I don't know. Well... I hope I haven't been canceled yet. I mean, if it happens, it happens, I guess. I mean, come on. Didn't you lose jobs for that? Isn't that what canceling is? No. For coming out and voting for Trump? Yeah.

I mean, listen, I have yet to see what the ultimate effects of all that are going to be. I already had multiple jobs that I was in the process of shooting or that I have yet to shoot, and none of those have been compromised. All of those, like none of my producers or any of the studios behind those films or projects have called and said, hey, listen, this is a line too far, and we can't have you associated with the project anymore. We're all still full steam ahead on those projects.

How it ultimately like plays out in the future. I don't know. You know, I'm going to sit down with my team. I have yet. I've been in Eastern Europe making this movie all during the election and everything. I mean, I was all, you know, kind of disconnected a lot from what was going on other than social media and following the news and kind of seeing the play by plays. But yeah,

You know, I'm going to sit down with my team and we'll talk about it. Because I haven't talked to any of them. They might say, hey, listen, we've had some phone calls with some people and they don't want to work with you anymore. I don't know. I could have sworn that already happened. No. No, I think it was because when I did the town hall with Tulsi and Bobby. So basically, I was stumping for Bobby. I really wanted Bobby to be my guy. Bobby Kennedy. Bobby Kennedy, yeah.

He sat there and, you know, I don't agree with everything, but among people in my field, especially who were considered liberals, I have definitely been the most supportive. You know, his general view of health and medicine and how it all works and what's important is closer to mine than Western medicine. Amen. Having said that, you know, are there places where

And it's hard to pin him down because he's been all over the map. Like when he sat there, I said to him, well, you know, you've said there's no really good vaccines or something like that. Maybe that's not exactly it. And he went, that's what you think?

And I said, yeah. Why? Well, because it's in print. What's in print? I forget exactly what it was. You mean he said it was in print? Yes. I was questioning him on something. And it was a much more blanket view of vaccines than I hold. I'm not anti, you know, it's another thing I fucking hate about the left is that

just to have a question about something. Yeah, I mean, you're an anti-vaxxer. You're an anti-vaxxer. You're a pro-idiot because you're not looking at the nuance of it. And then you have the nerve to call me unscientific. No, it's unscientific to be like blinders. Yeah, no. So, you know, I've said it a billion times. There are some pathogens out there and possibly to come that I would fight you for the vaccines.

Listen, I'd kill you. But it was sure. But in particular, absolutely. I totally understand. I'm getting it. I would be first to go. But but I think that what he was saying, if I remember the clip correctly, and then ultimately what he even kind of expounded on was and what he is even saying now. And as people don't understand.

Just because he calls into question the efficacy and the safety of the current vaccine schedule, the 72 shots that we give the children. It all should be called into question. All of it. And that's science. Just question. And that is science. Science should never, ever, ever be afraid to be challenged. Ever. And Bobby has been very adamant. He's like, listen.

I'm not saying that vaccines writ large are some evil thing. I don't think that either. But I think that a vaccine, what used to actually define what a vaccine was, essentially was giving someone a live, attenuated part of a virus or bacteria...

Just enough where it got them just sick enough so that their immune system kicked on and then they had a forever immunization from whatever this thing is. Basically a dead virus. Well, yes. Live attenuated. I mean, it's like almost dead. It's weak enough where it's not good. I mean, listen, in the Revolutionary War with smallpox, this is what they did. They...

People were getting smallpox and dying. And I think it was a French general actually who came over, one of the heroes of the Revolutionary War,

And I think it was him who said, actually, what you need to do is take a teeny little bit of like the pus that is coming off of some of these soldiers. Right. And infect the rest of the soldiers with it and let them go get sick and build the immunity. And that's how they beat the smallpox back then. That is more of a vaccine. Right. That was, that must have been at the very beginning of that because was Edward Jenner was soon after that. And the thing with the cow and understanding, you know, using the cow, uh,

That was late 1700s. And of course, the Revolutionary War is right after 1776. So those people were real pioneers just in thinking. Absolutely. And understanding that. And by the way, I'm sure it was something that was evident for thousands of years. If you even go back to our tribal selves, people were getting sick with things. People were realizing and recognizing how some of that stuff had to have been going on. Whether they had a scientific understanding is completely secondary. But I don't think they had the concept of...

of inoculating yourself deliberately well i don't know i don't know enough about it they surely didn't have that in 1300 a.d in europe because no the dark ages were the dark ages bro yeah i mean maybe the indians did something well that's what i'm saying i think there's probably a lot of tribal peoples i mean listen if tribal peoples could figure out there's a plant and a vine down in

Peru and in Brazil, that if you mix a soup of the both of them, then your body can digest this ayahuasca and have deodorant. I mean, it's incredible the amount of knowledge and wisdom that, that

that ancient tribal peoples have had about lots of different things, our own biology being one of them, how we interact with various plants and medicines throughout, for thousands of years. I'm not a historian on all of that. All I'm saying is that it would not surprise me that there was some understanding of, if you can get this thing sick a little bit with this, then you will be stronger for it later on. Right, and what's so galling

And I just had this happen to me again, but I won't say by who because I don't want to keep that thing going But like the way if you have questions they talk to you like you're a child and it's like okay You know what? I understand that a vaccine. There's not a little man inside the needle, you know, I I actually get it better than you do but okay, but so but just don't talk to me I don't talk to you that way and we don't agree right, you know, yeah on this and

And it's just, it's that kind of condescension that lost them the election. I keep saying it. It's hubris, man. Like the combination of a shitty fucking exclusionary don't come to my Thanksgiving attitude combined with some really bad ideas, really stupid ideas that they then think, oh, the world hasn't caught up to our genius yet.

you know, about putting, you know, penises in women's shelters or whatever the fuck that's stupid on the left that they're doing. Yeah. You know, I still think I would never vote for Trump because he doesn't understand about conceding elections. And that is the most important thing in a democracy. But we don't have to go there. It's Thanksgiving. I mean, that's a whole can of worms in and of itself. I'm glad that you're not canceled.

Yeah, for now. Like, who knows? I don't think, and to be perfectly honest, I will say also, even if- Not even for the vaccine thing? They didn't, like, come after you for that? You mean when I posted against Pfizer years ago? Just saying you like Bobby Kennedy. Oh, well, listen, when I was first stumping for Bobby before- Oh, you stumped for him? Well, I mean, yeah, I was, like, going to funder. Well, I had signed up to go and be a guest at a fundraiser, and then what happened was-

It was all right around the time of him conceding. So the fundraiser didn't end up happening, but I was kind of a part of what... But you were attracted to the campaign because primarily the vaccine stuff or the medical in general or the Kennedy name. What was it? I think everything. I think, listen, as with any human being and...

our choices for, you know, candidates for president included, no one is perfect. No one is without fault. No one was without past. Any of these things, right? So when I look at all that stuff, and that's Kamala, that's Donald Trump, that's Bobby, that's whatever. So to me, that's kind of a cancel out. I'm like, I'm not looking at that. Like, what are you about now? Who are you? Who have you shown yourself to be? Bobby, to me, is somebody with great depth and integrity.

He's somebody who's actually like a human being who cares about human beings. Right in this chair, I said to him, I don't agree with you on everything, but your ability to stick with what you believe despite whatever they throw at you, including the family. Yeah.

taking a cab on him. 100%. I said, I don't think your father would agree with everything you've ever said, but I can't imagine he wouldn't be so proud of you. So proud, man. For that sort of like the spine.

And then I got to say, it kind of came out pretty well for him because he's got a job now that he's suited for. I mean, this was another thing I said to him when he was sitting here was like, the thing you got to do in your campaign is marry what you have been known for, which is you're an environmental lawyer, an environmentalist. You want to make the world better.

cleaner for us to live in so we don't get sick preemptively that's what you're known for now you got this controversy about vaccines and so forth marry these two ideas like this is what i've always worked on i worked on putting sewage in the river but we're putting sewage in our bodies now it's kind of the same it is the same subject it's all holistic he kind of gets it that uh you know a

more than just a fringe of a bunch of hippies now in this country understand me not getting poisoned is, it is important and I don't want it to happen to me. No. And, and I'd certainly like to stop the stuff that, that I can't control stopping. I, I can't seem to be able to control not getting a credit cards worth of plastic in my body. Mm-hmm.

on apparently a weekly basis, they tell me. And I don't want that. Huberman actually recently checked that data, and apparently it's not, you're not getting your credit cards worth of plastic, but we are still getting microplastics constantly. And I mean, this is why I try to drink only water and glass bottles from now on. I try to too, but like I had a company that delivered in glass and they stopped. That's no bueno. So...

That's no bueno. I know somebody who says that. Yeah, I know. But there's no other way to get large amounts. Well, I mean, it's like this. It's like, what is it, Mountain Valley? Mountain Valley is a good brand. I mean, there's still a couple of good brands that still make big Vs. By the way, you can get this delivered in the large jugs that are glass. And do we even really know if it's that different than what comes out of the top? Yes.

100%. Great. How? Why? Well, because there's a lot of product testing, quality testing, particularly with name brands like these. And you were there?

No, I wasn't. But listen. So I'm just saying you're always trusting to a degree. To a degree, you're always trusting. We all are. Exactly. It's who we trust. It's who we trust. Just because they write something on a bottle. No, I'm not saying it's just because it's on a bottle. I'm talking about it's because of the people, literally, the people that I follow on Instagram or on X. Places that I go to, people that I think are people of integrity that have actually done research. Like the Michael Schellen brothers.

burgers of the world. I try to look at people and I go, okay, these to me are people that are trusted because they give a shit enough to really vet these things. Okay. And the Andrew Huberman's like people like that to me, I go, cool. And I would say the problem going back to what we were talking about before, why are, why are there so many people on the left who are feeling like I've got to cut off my family? And I will say this,

It is ridiculous. I think it's ridiculous. I don't think we should ever have gotten to this place. I think part of the reason why we have so much animosity when it comes to things like religion and politics is because we were told for so long, don't talk about those at the dinner table, when in fact we should be talking about it and learning how to be more civil in those conversations. But all of the people on the left that might want to cut off their family, and by the way, some people on the right too might be guilty of this,

It's because of the bullshit that the legacy media has been saying over and over and over and over again, Bill. I mean, when you have almost every network television show, other than Fox News, when all the rest are saying Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, Hitler, and all of his supporters are Nazis, and Madison Square Garden is a Nazi rally, and all of these things, of

Of course, you're going to spin all of these people watching that into a tizzy of fear that, you know, and so as long as you acknowledge that Fox News invented spinning people into a tizzy. No, that's not true. Over bullshit. That is not true. Fox News doesn't have a history of bullshit. Of course they do. But they're not the one who started it.

Fox News was a response to, because all of the rest of the media was basically more left-leaning, and Fox News was like, okay, there's a... Okay, but they could have been right-leaning and not also completely journalistically... I agree. That's why I include them in all of that. I think there are some people on each one of these networks that tries to actually step out and be honest. I gotta say, you don't seem like the complete fuck.

fucking idiot the people on the left said you were i'm terribly disappointed you're you're a very thoughtful articulate guy who knows a lot well um how could that possibly be a trump voter and this is what i keep trying to say to people no no i i don't mean that in a bad way no no i mean you have to you have to accept that in people that you there are places and people must know this from the relationships they're in uh

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You must know that you're with a person as a friend, as a lover, whatever, and 80% of it is you're aligned. And then there's 20% where they're like, wow, that person's just nuts on that. But what can you do? And the answer is accept.

Except that they, you know, I don't get the Trump vote because of what I said. And I could, we could go into it, but we don't have to because I think those ideas have been retreaded and rehearsed enough. But I just accept. And it's like, you know, sit down with this person, talk to them. First of all, maybe you'll see why. I mean, I certainly get why. I said it again in my last one. This is a very, very important thing.

The Democrats, they lost a crazy contest to a crazy person. You know, I totally get that. I don't know that that is the case, though. You don't think he's a crazy person? I don't. I actually don't. I don't think he's a paragon of morality, but I also don't think that the country— I'm not talking about morality. That's a different issue. But I would say, though, I mean, listen, there's certainly lots of details that one can add or subtract to this conversation, but—

in brass tacks, general terms, the four years of his presidency were significantly better than the four years of the Biden-Harris presidency and vice presidency. Well, there's more, it's so much more complicated. I know, that's what I'm saying. I understand it's more complicated. Factors that move into that. Sure, fine. And people say, well, it was Obama's economy that he inherited. Okay, but fine. But hold on a second. Save COVID, which was not in his power at all,

He not just maintained that economy, he made it even better. Our border was more secure, our economy was more secure, crime rates were down. I mean, this wasn't like a... We weren't doing anything to... Because that side does not really believe in the emergency of environmental catastrophe. So that, to me, is one of the two deal breakers on the right.

They don't really get it about the environment. And the other one is democracy. They don't get that. So those are my two issues that are important to me as a voter. And that's as it should be. Right. And you're entitled to— Those are the two big weak points on the right, very weak on that. I mean, Trump's environmental position is for clean air and clean water. Right. And as long as it's the end of the fucking—

a water bottle he's sipping out of. That's as far as he looks into it. Okay. I mean, you know, the plastic in the ocean is not getting any better. And that crowd is not, it's not even on their radar. They don't give, even give a shit about it. So,

you know, you're not going to, these people who think, well, we're going to get Bill over to our side. Oh, no, no, no. I'm not trying to get you over to any side. I mean, I just like, I like having an intellectual conversation. Oh, me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no. No, I love this. But by the way, I would say though, and I think this is something, and I've heard you talk about this a lot on the show, but

you know, you are like a lot of folks who were classically liberal who got left in the left woke dust. Sure. And you were like, I didn't move. I didn't change. I didn't. The boundaries have changed. And I think it's been, it's a very, it's a very accurate representation of not only where you are, but also where lots of other people, Rogan being one of them. I feel so good about, despite the way they've found ways to punish me, like never even really, I don't even get a nomination for,

My show isn't really even in that... Please. It's embarrassing to them at this point. But that's their way of punishing the unwoke. But, like, their thing, you know, my thing with them is you do crazy, nutty shit and have a shitty fucking attitude and...

And I just don't bend the knee like these other people. I will call that out. I will notice it. I will say that I'm noticing. I'm a noticer. Excuse me. And of course, this is anathema to them because, you know, when you look at like the things that they just allow the angel of death to fly right over. I mean, I get it where a lot of times when people say that these far woke types say to me, you know, like, how can you even consider talking to a Trump person? He's a rapist. It's

Okay, well, first of all, I don't know if he's a rapist. He's certainly a pig. He's very vulgar. You shouldn't even say you would grab pussies, let alone do it. I don't know what happened in that dressing room. What I do know is Bill Clinton was accused of almost exactly the same kind of things, and you're okay with him. So right away, we're starting at you're a giant hypocrite. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of that. There's a lot of that. So Trump is who he is on that level. Sure. But on the...

Other level, oh, wait, what were we talking about? Well, I know, right? It's starting to kick in. But I would say this, though. That happened about two o'clock. Two o'clock. But one of the things I was going to say, though, was, again, going back to this initial thought of how can someone come to this place of cutting people out of their life, their family, the holidays, all this stuff, right? But I think this is one of the key issues, which is,

It's this unfortunate level of hubris, meaning you and I and a lot of other people that felt very passionately about the candidate we wanted to vote for still, at the end of the day, are willing to have at least enough humility to recognize, I could be wrong. Right. I...

I actually could be wrong. I could be the one in the wrong right now. I don't think I am. I think I've done all the research. I've done all the things I need to do to make the best educated guess that I can make based on the options that we have, which are limited at best, right? Right. No, you're wrong. But go ahead. It's okay. But I don't hate you for it. Yeah. And that's the thing. But for somebody to come to the place where they're like,

You are evil because of what you did means they are so convinced of their own self-righteousness because they could not possibly be wrong. And certitude is the hallmark of the person who's not an intellectual. The first thing a true intellectual knows is doubt.

is that I may not be right. And my intelligence is marked by me being humble about how much I acknowledge that I don't know. And they have none of that. There's a great Stoic quote. I'm not even sure if it was like Aristotle or Plato or something. They were not Stoics. What's that? They were not Stoics. Were they not? No. Aristotle and Plato weren't part of... Stoicism was, I think, a little earlier. It was...

Zeno, I think, was the guy who was the stoic guy. And, you know, it was severe asceticism. Yeah. You know, I mean, Plato, I don't think, was a stoic. Wasn't he fucking little boys?

I mean, I don't know. Well, listen, regardless of whether they're Stoics or not, the point is there's, there's a great quote that I'm paraphrasing, but essentially it's like the beginning of intelligence is recognizing that you know nothing or something like that. And we have got to start from that place and people don't because they are fed the lies. Right. And we got to have grace with people because they, they are also in their hearts. They think they're voting for the right thing. They think they're fighting for the right thing. They've just been deceived. You know, I'm,

I mean, and maybe we have, I think, you know, MSNBC is a giant problem at this point, but don't, but you know, don't, don't tell me that Tucker Carlson isn't. I don't know that Tucker Carlson is more of a problem. I think Tucker Carlson might be. No, no, seriously. Hear me out. Hear me out. Oh, it's okay. Tucker Carlson is at least saying things he actually believes in that. I think he's done a lot of research. We actually have proof that that is not the case because we have,

You must have seen this story. You seem so well-informed. I'm pretty well-informed, but I don't catch everything. You're very well-informed. I don't catch everything. Okay. It came out, his text came out in the lawsuit. I mean, Fox News had to pay $780,000

million dollars. You remember this after the 2020 election? Because they claimed falsely about election stealing stuff that Trump had trumped up to get them to say, and Tucker Carlson, we have his private text where he's saying that he absolutely doesn't believe this. And he's savaging Trump.

So that's how we know he's full of shit, because we have it. We have the actual text in complete diametrically opposition to what he was saying on the air.

about, you know, Dominion voting systems and all this bullshit that they tried to. And again, this is the main difference between the left and the right here. When the left loses an election, yes, they grumble about it and they say things they shouldn't, like he's an illegitimate president. They don't actually try to stay in office. Kamala Harris. Hang on a second. Bill.

If Hillary Clinton and the Democrats got their way when they were challenging Trump and saying he was an illegitimate president in 2016, and they somehow got that bullshit Steele dossier to somehow, which was, by the way, all completely nonsense. You watch too much Fox News. I don't watch Fox News at all. I legitimately do not watch Fox News. Okay, well, you're getting this from someone. Bill, did Hillary not...

Did they not all think that he was a Russian asset and that Russia had fixed the election? Was that not what they were saying? Okay, but I got to explain to you the difference. Was it not? And then we don't have to talk about this all night. Was it not? I will, I will. But here's the difference. 2016, Trump pulls an inside straight and wins the electoral college. Yeah. Hillary acknowledges this happened, concedes the election before the cock crows the next day.

Same as this time. Kamala Harris conceded the election, said, I lost. There's no lawsuits. There's no demanding recounts. There's none of this bullshit. There's I trust the system and I say the other guy won. Now, what happened after that, the Russia thing, first of all, that's completely debatable. But if you really think that there's some sort of equivalency here,

between after the guy who you admit won the election is in office, carping about him, saying, oh, the election was unfair because of this or that. That has gone on throughout history. But nobody has done what he did, which is he still has not conceded the 2020 election. Took it to court 63 times, was laughed out of court 63 times, pressured the Justice Department.

to not... Asked his supporters to march on the Capitol. He didn't ask them to do that. Okay, but... And also, he requested the National Guard, and it's been confirmed that he was denied by Pelosi. But the point is...

that by not conceding the election, by never saying from November, whatever day that election was, November 5th or something, to January 6th, he had two months to say to his supporters, yeah, we lost. We'll come back next time. You don't win them all. Like every other, every other president and candidate ever did, including when it was possibly not

kosher like Nixon in 1960, Al Gore in 2000, but they did it. They came out and said it. After a recount. If you don't get why that's completely different than whatever you're trying to say is an equivalency, then I can't talk more about this. I just have to accept this in you. Let me clarify, though. I'm not trying to excuse all of that. It's as crazy as men can have babies on the other side. I'm not saying that...

That's straight getting into science and biology. No, but it is. No, there's a lot more nuance than that in this. No, there isn't. Hold on a second. There's no nuance in I concede the election. I'm not saying that the way that he took that was the right way to do it. I agree with you. I don't think he should have done it that way. If he actually thought that the election was being stolen, he should have done something else about that as opposed to getting lost in his ego, which he did, which he does a lot.

And I don't like that about Trump. I don't like that he does have, as part of his superpower, it is this ego that has protected him and made him strong and powerful and capable of being very charming and doing all the things he's done. You know, as the 60s pop crooner Andy Williams once said, it's the most wonderful time of the year. But not for Santa and gifts. For betting on games, holidays of the house, and...

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And listen, I know a lot of people that know him. I'm like, you know, personally, I don't, I've never met him, but the people that do know him on a personal level will speak to the fact that he's a, he is a human. There's a human in there who really does want the best. Did he handle it in the best way? I agree with you. I don't think he did. I,

I don't. I mean, handle it in the best way is like a super charitable way of characterizing not conceding the election, the cornerstone of what democracy is. Let me ask you a question. So can we get off this? I mean, because it's just frustrating for both of us. Let's talk about something else. What do you want to talk about? Yeah, let's do that. What do you want to talk about? What are you smoking? Are you smoking sativa or indigo? And I ain't mad at you.

Oh, buddy. I ain't mad. We good. We good. Don't worry about it. I ain't mad at you. I love this show. Me too. But again, I'm the man in the middle. I feel like I'm the perfect one in this country to bring us together because I never get mad at anybody. The right loves me because I'm able to, when the left needs to have a knife put in their gut, I...

They all say this to me. Nobody does it like you, Bill, because I know them. And also, I can do it better. They don't have any great comedians on the right. It's okay. Oh, I beg to differ on that. Like who? Well, I don't know. I mean, I think people that appeal more to conservative audiences. Who's a great right-wing comedian? Are you saying that's doing political stuff? Dennis Miller.

Dennis, oh yeah, well, Dennis Miller's fantastic. I mean, just as a practitioner of this. But I guess what I was, I wasn't thinking so much like politically right as much as I think like conservative, like a Nate Bargatze to me is a genius. I don't know who that is. Oh my God, he's so good. But he doesn't do a lot of political stuff. He just does, you know, like life comedy. But how do we know he's conservative?

I don't know. I mean, I follow him on socials, and I think he's like a Christian dude who lives in Tennessee. Are you a Christian dude? I would call myself Christian adjacent at this point in my life. What does that mean? I grew up in a non-denominational, spirit-filled kind of Christian home. Modern church kind of Christian home. You went to a church? Well, so my mom and dad met in church. Then they got divorced. We grew up with my mom, me, and my sisters. My dad was more the...

liturgic, meaning like would go to church every Sunday and on Wednesdays and taught in church. I don't know. I, we grew up with my mom. I didn't, I, my dad lived in North Carolina. Cause I grew up in,

in a really severe, ugly, violent, scary denomination called the Catholics. But at least I knew what church I was going to. I was going to a Catholic church. Right. No, I mean, he was going to a Christian church. There's just like, there's a lot of different denominations. But Christian is not a type of church. It's a, you know, it's a category under which you have...

Were they Episcopalians? Were they Anglicans? Were they Unites? Born again, like... Born again. Yeah, like born again, spirit-filled, modern Christian, non-denominational kind of Christian. Snakes?

No. Not that I know, no. You know some of them have snake. No, I've seen some of that stuff, man. It's crazy. Tongues? Speaking in tongues? Yeah, speaking in tongues. Your group? Yeah. Did that? My mom and dad both did, yeah. They spoke in tongues? Absolutely. You know it's gibberish, right? I don't know. Sometimes I thought it might have been. But also, listen, man. Well, this explains the Trump thing. Listen, I believe in a God that...

Is magnificent and all powerful. And like, this is the force in star Wars, like in and through all things. And if God sees fit to give people the ability to speak in another foreign language out of nowhere, if in fact they're doing that, I believe that's possible. I don't know how many people are doing that, but I believe that's absolutely a thing that God almighty Yahweh can do, you know? Well,

I don't. But you know that about me. I didn't really know. I didn't know that you'd grown up Catholic. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. My mother was culturally Jewish. I never even knew that until I was 13. She didn't go to church with us. And, you know, I was just so traumatized by the church experience. My father, my sister, and I would go to church. My sister and I would go to catechism, you know, where you learn how to be a Catholic. It was also traumatizing to me that I never even thought, why doesn't mom come with us? She just never did. And I just accepted it. And

And then it came up like when I was 13 at Christmas, like, why don't you ever go to church? She was like, I'm Jewish. Like, what? And she said like, you're what? I'm what? I'm Jewish? And she said, well, I'm not really Jewish, but our family was Jewish. Well, so then you are Jewish. Well, see, I hate when people say that because a religion is nothing more than an opinion.

No, no, but I'm talking about like bloodline Jewish. If your mother was Jewish, then you're Jewish, according to Jewish bloodline. But again, Jewish is a religion which is a thought system. It's not the same thing as I'm Irish. That is an ethnic category. Jewish is not an ethnic category. Israeli then? I mean, I don't know. Israeli. Hebrew? You're adorable. No, Hebrew, I don't know. What would you then call a non-practicing, not like, what do you call a person who is Jewish but is not like...

A Jew that's practicing the religion. Nothing. You have to call them something, Bill. No, but again, because we're, and people do this all the time, they mix up a Jew as an ethnic group. It's not an ethnic group. It's a religion, which is something that goes on in your mind. It's both. Me being, no, it's not. There are Jews all over the world. There's no, yes, they originated in. There's Irish all over the world. Just because they go to another country doesn't make them not Irish anymore. Right.

No, but like when they do your, if they do your DNA, you know, Irish would be one thing. And then, but it wouldn't be like Jewish, the other thing. Yes, absolutely. No, I don't think it would. I think it would be like- Bill, 100%. It would be, in my head, it was Hungarian. Okay. Well, then maybe you had some Hungarian Jew in there. No, I know, Hungarian. But again, I could have been, you know, back when the family was in Hungary, that side of the family, one of them could have like suddenly become an Episcopalian. And then I, but-

but it would still be Hungarian blood. Well, I mean, I don't know. I think that's getting insensitive. But anyway, the point is... My 23andMe told me I was like a percentage Ashkenazi Jew. So clearly they can track down something like that. I don't know. Speaking of 23andMe, what's your... Are you married? Are you...

What's your... No, I mean, I've been in a really wonderful relationship with a wonderful girl. Really? Yeah. A girl? How old school. I know, right? How old-fashioned of me. Yeah, no, my wonderful girlfriend, Maggie, who we've been together for about a year now. Oh, a year. Almost a year. Oh, so it's still good, huh? Yeah, but honestly, I think, I mean, I want to lock it down. She's wonderful. Lock it down? Oh, yeah. Oh, are we breaking news here?

Well, no, I mean, she knows that. She knows that, but does the world? Lock it down. I mean, I think that when you meet someone, when you finally get to a place in your own life when you're really ready for it, and I hadn't been. I had not been ready for it. I don't think those things...

These things that we really want in life, like I think that God does as somebody who believes in God, or you might say the universe or whatever it is, but I think that there are really awesome visions and desires that God puts on your heart. And I think that those things can be attained, but it requires us doing self-work enough to figure out how to

receive that blessing. Because with every blessing comes the weight of the responsibility that comes with the blessing. And so I finally got to a place in my life where I was able to attract someone who was finally in a place in her life to attract me. And when that timing happens and you can feel it, then it's like, yeah, let's go do this. Jesus, chicks must love this speech. Yeah.

No, seriously. Can you transcribe that for me and email it to me? Oh my God. Because I am telling you, this is fucking gold. This will wet in panties from here to Kuala Lumpur. That's a fun poll, Kuala Lumpur. That's probably one you use a lot, right? That's it. Timbuktu. I always loved the sound of that city. It just, it's very... Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't...

I'm not going to. Almost sounds like a small, like furry animal that's running around Madagascar. Have you seen the koala lumpers? They're ornery little fuckers. They'll steal your candy bars right out of your hands. You're so sophisticated, even though koala lumpers. Where is koala lumpers? Malaysia, isn't it? Correct. Yeah. Yeah.

Trust me, the Hawk Tua girl would not have known that. Bro, that's so... Nothing against her as a human. She's a child of God, and I wish her nothing. Seriously, but I despise what all of that represents. All of what? Spitting on dick? No. Rock and roll. Take care of your man. Whatever. Do your thing. That's fine. What I'm saying is these...

interviews that are this, you know, they're all over the internet. Just dudes going and just interviewing people, right? Which is where she started. Right. By doing this viral internet thing that then everyone ran with as a joke for the most part, right? But then that somehow creates a currency that makes that person famous, even though it was a fucking meme. And now that person, again, God bless her, but now she's doing a fucking podcast. I suggested that. I'm the one who suggested that. Get out of here.

Get out of here. No, no. Get out of here. When she was sitting there, I was trying to help her. What? So now I know who to blame. And I said, you know, I was trying to, you know, mentor her to like, what's the next step? You were feeding it, Bill. I was. By having her on the show, you were feeding into that. So what? And what's the harm to society?

I don't understand. What is the harm to society? I don't understand where the harm is. The more we have content. Listen, we're already inundated with way too much fucking content, right? There's way too much. Our eyes are on a screen every damn second. Not mine. Okay, maybe not yours. That's your choice. Maybe not yours. Okay, but we also know that these things are built to addict people. Yes, they are. And for younger people especially, which are who are falling most prey to this stuff. Absolutely. If we are filling our phones with nothing but shit like Hak Tua stuff,

That is not helping enrich the brains that are addicted to the phone. But I can't blame her for that. No, no, that's what I'm saying. I'm not blaming her for that. I'm blaming everyone else who wanted to indulge in it and then whoever was like, you should do a podcast. And then the people that make that podcast. But she, you know. Cut to me doing talk to. So anyway, I was telling Bill, I can't believe I'm here right now.

So that's very close to the truth. But what I had here was a young lady who, you know, look, we're not going to go into why, but I've certainly talked to many girls in her age group.

And, you know, it is sad. They know nothing. I mean, it's not their fault. They went to school in America where they will let you out of school, I've said this a million times, without knowing anything. And that is a fucking scandal. And it is mostly the Democratic Party, I will admit, that has to answer for that because their portfolio is education. They demanded it. They got it. They're the teacher's union, blah, blah, blah. We don't have to get into that. But when the Hawk Tool girl was here, I said, you know,

I want to, I can help this person a lot by giving them advice. And my advice was, one, recognize just out of the blue, you have been given a chip. Like if in life you were given chips and they were of different value, you would be given like a super platinum chip called fame. You can do something with this chip.

Most people don't have it. You can trade it in for something. But I said, you should, A, start using your real name. You don't want to be the Hawk Tua girl forever. I now rescind that because I think Hawk Tua is a great fucking name. You're not going to get rid of it anyway. And it's just a cool, it's Hawk Tua. It's just good. Keep it. But the other thing I told her was you should start

Trade on this thing that you're famous for a little bit. Trade the chip in for, okay, now I'm going to do a podcast where I do relationship advice for people my age because I'm known for spitting on dicks. So why wouldn't I know about relationship advice? Basically Gen Z's Dr. Ruth. Right. Right.

And now she's doing it. She said at the time, no, because she's such an innocent. She was working like at the, I don't know, the canning plant, the pickle factory, someplace that was very humble. And she kind of liked it. And she sounded like she actually wouldn't mind if she went back to that. I was like, if you do, great. But, you know, you have been given this chip very few people get, and you could translate it into something. So I'm glad to see that she took my advice. I think that...

I think that it is not wrong of you in your position to want to help, certainly. And also to recognize that, yes, that is a very good metaphor for like, hey, you've been given this chip. Right. And there's some value here. There is great value. And also, I think it's imperative that anyone who has given these chips for fame and for power recognize that they have a responsibility to use it

in, I believe, ways. Is it a sativa or indica? Sativa. All right. To use it in ways that are more responsible, that are more conscious, that are more intentional. Now, is it... He's not the one for that. Okay, but then help her then with that. I can't. Well, then point her to somebody who can't. I'm just saying, like, I don't think it's good for us to just, like, let people, like, here you go, kid, lay him off to the slaughter. She really doesn't know anything.

I mean, she's a sweet kid, but trust me. I mean, I'm talking like, and she's not alone. This is the thing that all these kids, they don't, I mean, ask them what came first, the Renaissance or the middle ages are like, what? Oh, I don't even understand. It's insane. There's like, there's like men on the street interviews that like Kim will do and stuff like something when they enter down by a Hollywood and Highland. And they ask people like how many States. Yeah. How many States are in the United States? I'm like, Oh my God.

What? What is happening? Like, what's the biggest continent in the world? Paris? I mean, I've heard the, I mean, things that you think it's a gag. Yeah, you think it's a gag. That people can be this benighted. Again, that's an indictment of our education system. It is. It is totally. It's insane how bad it's gotten. I mean, that's why, look, I know the woke people are, again, hate me because I'm not upset as they are about what happened. I didn't vote for him. But you know what?

I'm not going to pre-hate anything. Let's see. They've got... They're the disruptors. Great. Look, I said on my show Friday night, I said, Elon, he's a brilliant guy. I'm glad he's in there. Yeah. And he believes in the environmental issue. He does. Okay. So that's good. And I said...

but we'll see. Let's see what happens when they start cutting, which they want to do. I said, it's not like we don't need this. This country is bloated. It's fucking constipated. It needs a fucking colonic. Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't have chosen him to do it, but let's see. And I said, literally he said my exact words were, let's see what happens when they start cutting. Let's see what the corn lobby and the pharmaceutical industry and the defense contractors do.

Three days later, I'm reading the paper and Elon is going after the F-35. This is exactly what I... Yes. Yeah. Which is exactly what I would go after just...

Job one, the most ridiculous spending program forever. So, like, right there. Hypersonic missiles are going to make those obsolete. I said, let's see if you really do this. And he did it. Because that's really where they're most sensitive is defense contractors and going after that. Oh, man. And the bloated, like, charging $50,000 for a couple of lug nuts. Like, whatever these insane stories are. But listen, I...

I'm very bullish on Elon. I'm just a big fan. I think all the things that, you know, he's a different kind of like alien-ish, spectrum-y kind of fellow, but I am as well in many ways. So like I relate to him. I get it. Is that right? Oh, yeah, yeah. You think you're on the spectrum? Well, I mean, I say that in like not technical term, but like in the sense of like I've had like pretty hardcore ADHD most all of my life. Like my mom...

They kept telling my mom to put me on Ritalin back in the day, and I'm really grateful that she didn't because I don't think that you should be putting kids on any of that stuff. You need to let them develop. I have since, as an adult, had Adderall prescriptions or Welbutrin prescriptions because my dopamine levels are pretty jacked up in my body. It's a long, long story. You seem so together. You're right there. You look me in the eye. You track the conversation exactly. I see none of this.

Well, because I'm on Wellbutrin, literally. And that's been a real game changer for me. But it's also something I don't want to be on for the rest of my life. I can't believe people who have to take drugs to feel good.

Well, I'll tell you what, though. Cannabis has been like being able to have really measured doses of like little gummy edibles. I'm good. Thank you. Of little gummy edibles, like little five milligram doses. Like that's my vibe. I don't really smoke much anymore at all. But just even that is something that directly benefits cannabis.

having kind of an adhd type of did you do other drugs back in the day oh i've done all of them basically i mean not all of them but i mean yeah i've done lsd and psilocybin and uh cocaine and ketamine and do you ever have a bad time with any of them or like oh yeah like which one oh absolutely

Well, I mean, I think that like, you know, fortunately one of the ones that I've done the least amount of is cocaine and it's that, that is, it'll, it, well, it, it sucks your soul away. I mean, it's why you got to, it's, it's so, it's like that thing that it's like, it's like, yeah, just a little, like let's go have fun, that thing. And then, but you just, you literally, it really is a soul sucking thing. And that's why, you know, so I try not to be partaking in that. I think that things like,

I'm very bullish having done a lot of discovering and stuff as I was younger, right? I'm in a place in my life now where I don't see that stuff or try not to see it as more than something that can absolutely be medicinal and beneficial in one's life if you respect it, if you are not treating it as this recreational thing to go get lost in. But as a child, particularly one that was coming from a lot of like crazy, emotional, abusive type of home type stuff and finding myself and not loving myself, I mean, I...

All that stuff saved my life in a lot of ways. And I also learned, I think, some really, oh man, some of the most connected moments I've ever had with God was when I might have been on a soul search with some psilocybin or something like that. I've done ayahuasca before and I felt God definitely talked to me through that experience. So I think that there's really- What are you saying?

Well, I mean, in a couple of different ways. One was that... Did he mention me? No. Yeah, but you don't want to hear what he said. I really don't. Yeah, no. He says he's not a Jew. What? No, like I felt like there was a couple of things. One of the things that I felt was like God's love. I felt so much of God's love. Like I was being held almost like maternally being held by God. So God's gay? Yeah.

No. I think that God is kind of...

omnipresent in all of that stuff. I don't know that there's, I don't know that God has a gender. I know biblically he's always referred to as a he, and I think that that's an aspect of his fatherhood and that energy of God. But even like when Moses came down from the mountain, he was covered in the Shekinah glory, the Shekinah glory, which is described as the female energy or spirit of God. So I think that it's, yeah, yeah. And I see God as much more of the I am that I am. Like the, like again, like

the great almighty God that is all encompassing of all things. And I see him as will. I am.

It was Will.i.am and the Burning Bush. I mean, this almost sounds like deism, which is what the founding fathers were. They were deists. Some were deists. A lot of them were Christian deists. Yeah, true. But they certainly weren't what the conservatives pretend that this was a Christian nation. I mean, they were obviously...

We know this from what they put in the Constitution for the separation of church and state. Well, that was to protect the churches, not the state.

No, I think it was for both. I think they did not want to, they were truly revolutionaries and they were founding a country based not on what countries have always been founded on before, which is usually territory or ethnicity, but on an idea or a set of ideas. And one of those- Constitutional Republic. Yeah. I mean, they came here to this country, let's not forget, escaping-

dogmatism so they did not want to repeat the mistakes religious dogmatism and monarchy that they had fled yeah right yeah yeah and no taxation without representation and that too and uh yeah no i

I love America. Me too, man. Yeah. Me too. That's another issue I have with the left is like, and I've chide them about it all the time, like, you know what would help you maybe win elections? Try to look like you like the country you're running in. Yeah. I mean, Trump, of course, has to go too far and fuck the flag.

But, you know, it's better than the opposite. It's better than these ahistorical America-hating hysterics that we're raising, especially at colleges. Yeah, that's really scary, man. Where they think Hamas are the liberators. Yeah, that's scary, man. I mean, you know, again, when they come after me for, like, changing, like, I haven't changed, you assholes. You're rooting for terrorists now.

Okay, that's all I would, I wouldn't even have to go, and I could go on for hours on that subject, but I wouldn't have to say anything more than that. You are rooting for terrorists, not all of them, but they're certainly not denouncing the people enough who are rooting for the terrorists. No, they're not. And again, this is not in any way to excuse their behavior because everyone is still responsible for their behavior, even if it's a behavior that came out of, let's say, being lied to. I just want us to never forget, it's important, I think imperative to always remember that

It's easy for us to get angry with the foot soldiers that are out there doing all this crazy, stupid shit. Like these college kids on campuses that are literally terrorizing Jewish students on campuses. It's like, if you want to go protest, do a proper protest and understand that that is you doing what you're doing and not going and harassing other people because of where they're going, right? That's part of free speech.

Like, I can't say you can't go and do your protest, but that should never be infringing on the rights of anybody else. But again, these are the foot soldiers that have been programmed by this nonsense from above that is telling them through our institutions and universities. Like, there's been an incredible—I mean, I'm sure you've seen these graphs. Like, in fact, I think I might have even seen you put it up on your show once. But there's all these graphs of, like, positions of, like, you know,

of different fields of expertise and roles and jobs and stuff like that, and specifically departments in a university. And the amount of professors that are liberal-leaning, some of them are like 100%. There's not even a conservative-leaning professor in that entire department. I mean, I've talked about this, yes, you're right, before. Not just in universities, NPR, somebody prominent left last year

And 87 of 87 positions, the top echelon positions at NPR, were liberal, vote Democratic. Twitter, before Elon took over and completely reversed it, was that way. Even if you're a liberal and a Democrat, you shouldn't think this is good. You need a balance, just like we need ying and yang and male and female, plus, of course, trans and gay and bisexual and all the other...

A, G, P, T, Q. We need everything is what I'm trying to say. Something there in the alphabet. But, you know, you need, and we just have lost that idea. Everybody, and you're right about social media because one thing you see on social media

a lot is, you know, there'll be some exchange and on the left one, it'll be like, I own this person. And then the right, it'll be, they owned me or vice versa. But we just can't have a discussion. Somebody has to always own. They'll do it to us on this. They'll show clips and there's like, Oh, I know. They'll cut it together. Zach owns me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I did, but...

And I'm not... Cut that bit. And you know, I don't even want to own you. No, well, exactly. But this is the point. If you're really trying to get to like why science should be welcoming questions, why any of these ideas should be welcoming questions, that's because you should not be afraid to want to discuss the conversation because you're interested and I'm interested in hopefully getting to a truth. Right. And if all parties are actually interested in that...

and not afraid that it might not sit well with the narrative that they think they're supposed to believe in, but rather like, hey, let's put all that aside and let's just try to get here. This type of a conversation, we're not trying to own each other. We're trying to own the truth. We're trying to get to whatever this is, if we can get there, other than just having a good conversation. And acknowledging that that 10 or 20%

that we probably will never agree on. Certainly. Is okay just to leave there. Yes. We can still have turkey together. Absolutely. You can have turkey without calling each other a turkey. Yeah. I feel like it's the way. Certainly.

Yeah. The way I look at it. But again, that requires people, I think, just having, again, just a smidge enough of humility. Just a smidge enough of humility to just say, I could be wrong. I so agree. I could be wrong. Guys, we could all be wrong. I could be wrong. He could be wrong. We could be wrong. You could be wrong. The sooner we can all just at least get to there, the sooner we can start laying down our swords. Since you believe in God, you know what would be great if he would do? What?

If he would just come down, instead of speaking through whatever clouds or the French toast or the Bible, I don't know, all these things he speaks to us to, he seems capable of being all-powerful, of just talking. And he could just straighten it all out. I mean, I think Doug speaks...

Bill, Zach was right about Trump and the, and I'd be like, whoa, okay. All right. I did not see that. And I, but now that it's you, God saying it, I mean, he could solve so much and stop so much hate and violence. Okay. But also rob us of the opportunity to actually seriously for every single time two people can actually come together. What a beautiful thing that is.

How that's literally an energetic vibrational shift in both of who you are. Right. And also the example that is to other people and be like, oh, shit.

Those people took the time, had enough humility and respect for each other to say, I think you're totally wrong, but let's do this. Let's figure it out. If God came down and just solved it all for us all the time, we would not actually get, I think, part of what the most beautiful part of life is, which is the experience of it, which comes with the hardship in order to feel the levity and the darkness and the light and all of those things that have to balance each other. You know, you should do a movie. What? What?

I don't know. Why is that funny? Because I don't know if you're about to tell a joke or if you're being earnest. One thing I really do well here, I think, as the hawk to a girl will tell you, is give people advice. I mean, I've been in show business a long time. Bring it, though. I am going to. You should do a movie where you and Jon Hamm play brothers.

You look like him. You sound like him. Really? Yes. Oh. Yes. Well, I take all that as high compliment. I think he's a wonderful actor. Nobody ever told you that, that you look like him? No. Oh. No. Most of my career, it's being confused with John Krasinski more than anything else. Oh, yeah. I see that, too. Yeah. Right. Well, he did well. Sometimes I get Fallon.

I don't know. But I think that we're all kind of in a... We're like in a spectrum of like ND, like nondescript white guy. Like we're all just kind of in that. So, you know, we're all on NBC all around the same time. So I think people just like confuse the promos and they're like, oh yeah, that guy. Yeah.

That's ridiculous. We're not nondescript. I mean, you know, people... You're not in that group, bro. You're in a different spectrum. Well, I would hope they would look at the both of us and people would go, geez, I can't tell the difference. That would be a one-guy.

If you want to do me a favor now that I'm talking to one of your big fans. Yeah. Big fan. So I assume your girl is religious, too, because it's very hard to, like, have a relationship where one of them is and one of them isn't. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know that I would consider her religious. I don't consider myself religious, but I consider us both to be very deeply spiritual. Well.

Okay. I mean, you know, these words. No, but I mean, words matter. There's a difference. You're right. And I'm not even trying to split hairs on it. I'm just wanting to be more specific about it. You believe in God, not everybody who says they work for him.

- Sure. Wait, what? - You believe in God, not everybody who says they work for him. - No, no, no. But I think that that's, it's impor- - That's religious. - Well, sure. I mean, yeah, on some level. I think that religion is more kind of, you know, found in the ritual. Like that's like, you know, in Catholicism and going to mass. Like I went to mass a lot with my grandma. - Oh, really? - Oh yeah, yeah. My grandma was Catholic. My mom grew up Catholic and then rebelled and became a born again Christian.

But, um, but my grandma would be a rebellion. Well, a rebellion from the, from the, the constrictions and rules and regulations and shame of Catholicism. Right. Well, that's your rebelling against that. Okay. A real rebellion when she became would be, she became an atheist. I'm not mad at her cause she didn't. I'm just saying to go from Catholic to Christian is like, okay, you know, you, you, you skipped some of the bullshit of the Catholic church. Good for you. That is smart. Cause there's a lot of bullshit there.

Well, there's a lot of bullshit everywhere. I was just watching this movie. Oh, fuck. Don't worry. Nobody saw that. No, I don't care if they did. This place is a place to drink and smoke pot. And I'm going to drink it like a fucking... Sip it. Yeah, get right off the lip there. Yeah. That's a first. First time on Club Random, I bet, right there. That is. Absolutely. Sip it a little bit more. Come on. Give the people what they want. But I was watching this movie, Conclave.

it's really good. Started it last night. It's about, it's with Ralph Fiennes and, uh, who else is in that? Stanley Tucci. It's about, uh, Pope, you know, the Pope dies, conclave, and then they have the colleges, just the intrigue that goes on behind the scenes. Yeah. It's a great cast. Great catch on Lithgow. Oh, and yeah, he's so good. He's super woke. You're,

You probably wouldn't want to talk politics with them. Okay, but I don't care. Exactly. We don't care. It's Thanksgiving. Well, no, even outside of Thanksgiving. Exactly. No, no. Because I don't, again, knowing that I could be wrong, I'm never looking at them and what anybody on the other side of the spectrum of me is choosing. I'm going, okay, they're going in their heart and their mind. I'm just telling you, bro.

I don't know what happened in the past, and I wish you the best in the future. I like you. But this town is, I mean, they're mean to me, and I'm a way to the left of you.

Yeah, but you're mean to them. That's true. I am mean to them. I'm not trying to be mean to them. You're right. I'm just trying to love everybody. You're right. That's true. But if you think you're just going to skate through this town with those political credentials, I'm telling you, you're not. They're going to... Hold on. I don't... I'm not expecting to. I don't know...

I don't know what's going to happen, but I will say this. You've got integrity. You're going to say what you're going to say, even if it costs you jobs. And it will. Yeah, maybe.

I don't know. There'll be other jobs. There'll be different things. That's great. Right. Yeah. There's that Christian series you could do. There's that thing about... The Chosen. No, no, no. About the rapture and... Oh, Left Behind? Left Behind. With Kirk Cameron? Kirk Cameron, yes. I stopped making those a long time ago. They did? They did, yeah. But like, Kirk Cameron...

Perfect example. Or like Kevin Sorbo. You know, these guys are never going to get on any casting director's list. Maybe not. But listen, I don't... We're all very different people and where we're at in our careers and all those various things. And again, I have nothing but love for those guys and they're still working and doing what they're doing. I'm going to speak about this and...

I'm going to speak in Italian. No, that's the Godfather. No, I'm going to speak about this, and I'm going to try to be vague because I'm not so sure exactly how much I should be saying in public, but I happen to know a few things about the Trump movie.

that came out. Oh yeah. Remember? Was Sebastian Stan? Sebastian Stan. Yeah. And Jeremy Strong. Yeah. Late of succession. Two brilliant actors. Yeah. I was so impressed with both of them. I mean, they both should be nominated for best actor. And that movie is a great movie. But because it's about Trump and the, wow, it's a big pour for a Christian. You know. Yeah.

Christian adjacent. Even the Cardinals are allowed to drink. It's in the movie. There's no rules against how much you can drink as a Cardinal. No, you just can't have sex. Yeah, well, they certainly lax on that rule. But this movie is because it's about Trump and because it's a brilliant movie, but you have to accept it as art. The first half, the people who hate Trump hate it because he's a human.

He works for his shit father. He's got a shit father, which is only the subject of a trillion movies where you do feel bad for the character. Um, and you know, there's at the beginning, like he's going around and collecting rents, which he did, uh,

And people sometimes, when you go around to collect rent, don't like it. He opens one door and a guy throws boiling hot water at him. I mean, that shit happens. Yeah, yeah. Okay, he's not a monster. That's what good art is. It shows the arc. Then he meets Roy Cohn. That's the movie, The Apprentice. And he learns from Roy Cohn how to be a ruthless bastard and all that.

And then the second half of the movie, I mean, yeah, if you're a liberal, then you'll love that because he's an asshole and does this and does bad things. And we see the Trump we know as a political figure emerging. But it's just too much for these people to even suffer through half of a movie where he's a human being.

So we also have to punish the actors. And we have to punish the movie. And I'm telling you, that is a terrific movie. Yeah, I've heard nothing but great things. I haven't seen it yet. I really want to. They finally let it be seen here, but of course...

Nobody went to see it because, again, you would not like half of it. And, of course, everybody has to be completely confirmed in their ideas. Yeah. I mean, I think that they're, fortunately or unfortunately, I actually think there's probably a lot of people out there that would enjoy all of it, but they don't.

It's just the people, again, if you're more moderate, if you're more in the middle, you recognize that everyone is a human being. And this is something that is lost because people, what helps me is that I look at everyone as a child of God. I look at everyone through the lens of, at some point you were five years old

And you had every possibility in the world, and then you were programmed and conditioned through your upbringing, through your family. Even before five, really. Well, even before five, but I'm just saying, like, still, again, I'm using a round term, whatever, round number. But the idea is that we were all children with all these different possibilities. But that programming might already be in by five. Right.

Some of it's just genetic. There's programming in us that they have actually shown to be straight up, literally hereditary. It's built into you. We use the term anal when somebody's like super neat. Sure. Well, the way you make, obviously you use it for something else. Like, honey, I'm feeling anal tonight. No, your ass I meant. No, but anal refers to the anal stage, you know?

which is zero to two when you are shitting your pants. Okay. And how you are treated. I mean, this is from Erickson. No, totally. This is from Erickson, the great father of psychology, one of the great ones, I think mostly, and Jung. Jung is the goat, yeah. But like how you were, whatever was going on in your just beginning mind at that time really affected like you...

you later in life. So when we talk about someone who's very anal as an adult, they're very neat. And the theory is this has to do with how they were treated or how they responded to having shit in their drawers when they were six months old. And I can't believe my mother left me with shit in my drawers. But to this day...

I'm very anal and I don't like shit. Like, and I would never fuck anybody in the ass. Wow. What? Wow, that took a turn. No, it's not a turn. It's part of the subject. I'm just saying. No, no, no. I mean... I understand what you're saying. I think... The idea of shit on the end of my dick is just not in the... Yeah. Different strokes for different folks, man. I don't know. Well...

I can only imagine, though, that porn has done a number on pushing this envelope farther and farther and farther. I mean, you know, once porn became ubiquitous and free all over the internet, then you have kids that are jumping onto porn at very young ages. Yes.

And by the time they're even in middle school, they're already like pushing the envelope of what a normal adult sex life would be, that kind of stuff. So it's like, it definitely, it's got to be some part of how these things. I mean, look, I've been a libertine my whole life, but I'd be the first to say porn is not benign. Not where it's gone. No way, man. It's so funny because like our avatars out there in the world have to be so politically correct about everything and everything.

And yet, what they're really doing, what people are really doing on the internet between porn and OnlyFans, it's just a nation full of freaking freaks and perverts. Bro, but check this out. AI is about to start...

Right now, young lonely boys particularly are spending their life savings on not talking, talking to a girl on OnlyFans and having her do whatever her show is. Right. Which is already so sad. It's sad for both parties because these girls are being told, I'm being empowered and I'm

There's nothing wrong with sex work and yada, yada, yada. And they might feel that momentary or whatever seasonal empowerment and make a lot of money doing it. But there's an exchange of your soul in that. That's not a good exchange of what you're giving up in your soul, I believe. And what's about to happen is that all of those girls are going to get replaced by dudes who are AI-ing women.

virtual girls that look just like real girls that will do literally anything that these guys want her to do. And they'll just be chilling out all of their money for these AI OnlyFans girls and AI pornography. I mean, I've been banging this AI drum for a minute because I really do believe that most people are sleeping on it far too much. I agree. Totally. You know who was the one who was out front on this was Elon.

Oh, yeah. He was one of the OGs that, but again, was a part of the... It's the first I've ever heard that theory. Yeah. It's from Elon. He said, we have to be aware of, we have to be wary of AI. And he said this like 10, 12 years ago. Oh, yeah. And people, other people argued. Well, he was one of... And now we all know. He was one of about seven of like the top 10 experts on AI. And he was definitely one of them, is still one of them, I would wager. Yeah.

He was one of the 10 that they basically asked when to and said, and seven of 10 said, we need to pause a, this was years ago. And they said, we need to pause it now. Right. We cannot afford to let it go any farther. Right. Because we're, we're getting to the point of no return where it will just catch fire and go. Right. And we're basically all running toward mutually assured destruction. Yes. Because everyone's trying to be the first to get to AGI, make all the money, do all the thing, rule the fucking world, by the way. And, and,

Ultimately, whoever controls that will be controlling the world with that, which is the thing we got to worry about the most. It's not even that it's going to be sentient and turn into Terminator, although there is the possibility of that goes crazy. But more than likely, and actually not even more than likely, what will absolutely happen, even if that doesn't, is that it will start to displace entire industries worth of workforces. It will be doing things like creating AI sex bots and all of that stuff.

How soon? Have you ever been on OnlyFans? No. I wouldn't even know how. Again, it's one of those things where I just kind of, I just, I feel it just like, I feel bad. I feel bad that this is where we've gotten to as a society. I know a guy who's so hooked on it that when he's with a real woman, he can't come unless there's a sound of a baby crying in the next room. That's a weird kink.

I'm just saying that I think a lot of the girls have a baby. Oh, copy that. Copy that. And a lot of the women, they think it's going to be lucrative, and it's only lucrative for a very, very few. It's almost like real show business. Well, yeah, but also, not just real show business, but they have new—

like every girl, the competition, no doubt, like the amount of other girls that are all getting the same idea, they're all going to go be in, to have an OnlyFans account. Like clearly that stuff's only got to work for a- You know what a lot of them are? Feet. Oh yeah. There's a whole website dedicated to that. You get that? No, I don't get it. I'm just saying that's a thing that exists. No, I know, but I'm saying like next to being in the ass, I don't want, would be the feet. I find the feet not, not erotic at all. What? Yeah.

But so many people. So many. Listen, I don't get it. It's not that I don't appreciate a good foot. Like my girlfriend, she's got beautiful feet. But that's not something I look at in an erotic type of way. I've never understood that. I don't either. No. I mean, the top of the foot, obviously the ankle, okay. But then you're just, toes? Fuck.

No. And certainly the bottom of the foot that walks on the world every day. Yeah, you can wash those things. You can wash. I know. But still, it's just not attractive for obvious. Have you ever given a girlfriend like a foot rub or anything? Fuck no. A foot rub? Jesus, I've never been that. Bro, you are missing out. A foot rub? Yes.

Why? Is this the magical passkey to the pussy that I've been missing? No, no, no, no, no. Because if all you're doing is having sexual intimacy and you're not just having intimacy that doesn't require anything sexual, but rather is connectivity, it's touch, it's... There's a billion other ways to do that besides rubbing their feet. Bro, but I'm telling you, your feet are incredible in that they have all...

all these meridians and all of these pressure points and all of these things that we walk around on all the time and get fucked up. And if you actually have somebody go and be like, yo, and it's a really active service between two people that are in partnership, I think, and to be like, yo, can I do this for you? Can I serve? And give them that massage. I think that there's something incredibly powerful about that. I mean, I can't say that I haven't had it done to me,

And when I did, it was like, oh, that's cool. But it didn't change my world. It didn't change, you know, I didn't. One instance of it isn't going to change your world. Yeah. So you're saying like an ongoing foot rub is like. I'm just saying, like if you're in a relationship, I mean, you know, that's, I don't think that you should be.

because they're feet. I understand that you have an anal type of personality that doesn't like anything like the things you were talking about. But I think that when it comes to your feet and your partner's feet, they're very easily cleaned. There's so many other better ways that I'm already good at. I really don't feel like I need to. There's certain things. Take it for what it's worth. People have bucket lists.

There's also the list of things that I never did and never want to do. That's right. And like skiing is on that list. Oh, man. Skiing is fantastic. Okay, great. Snowboarding in particular. Yeah, you do you. Right. But again, I don't want to ski and I don't want to like rub feet. What do you do? What are your hobbies?

other than, you know, constantly making television shows, but like what standup comedy is your job hobby. I don't know. I mean, it's like, that's still, that's still work. I mean, I've had three jobs last few years because of this, not that this is really a job. This is such a joy to meet somebody like you, um, you actually, you, uh,

And get high and talk to them. I can't tell you what a pleasure this is in my life. But I only do this, the only time I spend on this job is right here. After this, I'm out. Yeah, yeah. Well, you've got a wonderful team that helps put it all together. Yeah, I've got a wonderful team, and this is all I want to do. It's the opposite of my show, which I work on all week.

That takes a lot of time. And then stand-up, of course, you're on the road. I haven't been on the road that much, but every couple of weeks I go out for the weekend. I mean, it's... So what's your hobby? That is my hobby. I don't really want hobbies. I play basketball. I have a court here. Nice. How often do you play basketball? Well, I mean, like a game, not that often, but I go out and shoot myself. But I have...

people come over and we shoot sometimes. You've been playing ball your whole life? Oh, I love basketball because it's not like, you know, you need a field. Like, you don't need 11 people on both sides. You can just, and again, if there's no game. You can practice by yourself, yeah, all the time. It's just, you know, it's just the endless. One piece of equipment. People like, likes on their phone. To me, when the ball goes through the hoop, like, I get a like. Well, listen, it's the same thing. It's a dopamine hit. It's a dopamine hit. That's what you get. And it never stops. Mm.

Well, as long as you're making the shots. No, I'm saying, but like every time it goes in, you know. Yeah, absolutely. It's almost like sex. It's one of the few things that never disappoints. Sure. Wait, so where did you grow up again? New Jersey. In Jersey. So who's your NBA team? Knicks, still is. Okay. And they're finally good again. They haven't won since I was in high school. What's their record? And I never left them. But now the Knicks...

are good. They are really good. What's their record right now? They're 11-7. But, you know, they have Carl Anthony Towns. Now they're integrating a new whole scheme. They lost two key players, got this one superstar. It's happening. They beat them Nuggets the other night. Beat them Nuggets? Yeah, they beat the Nuggets and Jokic. I mean, I just saw... I mean, that's a big beat. I was at the Laker game the other night, and the Nuggets killed...

the Lakers. And then like the next night, the Knicks killed the Nuggets. So I'm good with the Knicks. That feels good. And it feels good to have stuck with them and never wavered all these years. You and Spike Lee. Oh, if I could only have done that with women. Yeah.

But it sounds like you are about to make a big change in your life. Is that because you want children? Oh, yeah. Oh, you do? Always did. Always wanted, yeah. Really? Yeah. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted to be a dad. It's like something that's been in my DNA my whole life. Well, that's another thing you should play. You should play the hot dad role.

in the movie, especially where there's like a, I love movies where there's like the, it's like, you know, just the typical life that we all live, the contemporary life, but there's some sort of evil lurking like the babysitter who's got, you know, ideas on the father or one,

You know, one of those, The Stepfather. Remember that series? That was so good. Oh, what? You never saw The Stepfather? No. Well, they made it twice. They remade it. Did you ever see The Crush back in the day with Carrie Elwes and Alicia Silverstone? Yeah, yeah. That was like the happy couple, but then Alicia Silverstone, the sitter, got the crush. There's one where the swimmer or something. And, you know, it's like that person in the house who's really the bad guy. It's a delicious kind of... Well, I did a movie...

A few years ago, that's actually just coming out in February. Thank God. It kind of got shelved for a little while because of COVID. COVID because your position on COVID or actual COVID? No, because we shot the movie during COVID, but early on in COVID, November of 2020. And then it was supposed to come out like a year and a half later. But because theaters, like people still hadn't really come back to theaters a lot. And it's kind of a smaller family movie.

where I play a dad and all of this stuff. It's called The Unbreakable Boy. It's a really beautiful movie. It's not the thriller with the stepfather or the sitter with the crush. Yeah, it's like a dramedy. Yeah, it's a true story about this couple. They started dating. On their third date, they got pregnant, and they were like,

what do you want to do? And they're like, well, let's do this. Let's have this baby and let's see what we figure out, you know? And they didn't get married right away. They just stayed as a couple and they had this child. And early on, the kid was crying a lot always and they were like, what is going on? And then...

two years old or whatever, they're running around and they break their leg and they're like, what's going on? So they go get the kid tested and he has osteogenesis imperfecta, which is brittle bones disease. And he inherited part of this from his mother.

So then we're like, okay, and this is a true story. This real couple. And then, and then they have a second son and now they're, but that kid, no brittle bones. He's cool. And then they get a little older and their oldest son starts behaving in ways that are, you know, not normal, that are atypical. And they go and have him tested and he ends up having autism.

And so it's a story about this couple who are still trying to figure out if they're even going to work and their own kind of demons and things they're struggling with while they're trying to raise these two kids, the oldest of which who's really the star of the movie, Jacob. He plays Austin, who is this, the most...

beautiful, accurate portrayal of, I think, of a child in the autistic spectrum and the beautiful heart and mind of all of that. Wait, Brittle Bones is in the autistic spectrum? No, Brittle Bones is a separate thing. Okay. He also, Austin, is also autistic. Autistic with Brittle Bones? With Brittle Bones. Yeesh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd this kid do to God? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to release you back into the wilds.

because I've kept you here for long enough. Oh, no, but listen, man. I could, too. Yeah, you're a pleasure. You're a thoroughly enjoyable conversation. We'll do it again, I hope. Yeah. And, like, the more friends I have who are Trumpers, the better. But, okay. All right, let's wrap it up. I could do it all night, so I'm just going to cut it off. Yeah. Dude, thanks, man. You, too. I really enjoyed it. I had such a good time. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

I could be a superhero's helper like Robin. What do you think? Absolutely. Absolutely. You're going to have to work on the super suit. I mean, that's number one. That's number one.