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Three distinct all-electric Cadillacs. Some drive them for the performance. Others drive them for the range. And some drive them because it's the only way to make an entrance. Three different ways to turn every drive into an occasion. Whatever your reason, there's never been a better time to say, let's take the Cadillac. The all-electric Cadillac family of vehicles.
Escalate IQ, Optic, and Lyric. Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Leslie, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Can you hear me okay? Perfectly. Okay, great. I'm a long-time listener. Thank you.
And I called you once about five or six years ago after my children went to college and I was really struggling with emptiness and having a lot of depression and really sick of myself and all of the grief. And you really, really helped me and gave me some direction, motivation and ideas. And I'm hoping for the same today.
I am three and a half years sober from alcohol. I was divorced from my husband of 30 years about a year and a half ago. Oh, why? What happened? You got sober and then divorced. What happened? My theory is, one, he is also an alcoholic and did not want to live a sober life. And two...
I think that he felt like I could actually survive him leaving if being sober with all of the support that I had. Oh. And so, I mean, you finally... Did your ex-husband have any friends? Did your ex-husband have many, any friends? Did your ex-husband have many or any friends? Like guy friends, friend friends, or like girlfriends? Yeah.
Friends, not sexual. Friends. Okay. He did... He thought he did. I would not. He did not have good friend relationships, no. I'm just going to put it that way. And they've mostly turned away from him now. Yeah, he was a little... Before they turned away from him, did he really have any good friends, yes or no? Just give me a yes or no. No. That would explain, then...
Why he was so jealous of how you got support. Why he would be jealous? He was jealous because you got support. Oh, I see. See, if the two of you just drunk together, then everybody else is irrelevant. You had people who cared about you. He really didn't have much of that. So I can understand. All right. So then what happened? I had a nervous breakdown and ended up in the hospital.
Tell me what a nervous breakdown is because it's not an actual diagnostic term. Yeah. What it looked like was screaming, crying, catatonic. I was already suicidal after he first said he wanted to get a divorce and then backtracked when my children got really angry.
at him and agreed to do some therapy. So during that therapy, I became very depressed and suicidal. And then when he finally pulled the trigger, I freaked out physically, mentally, emotionally. I became catatonic and just wanted to die. What do you think got you that scared when he said he wanted to leave? What do you think got you that scared?
I lost my dad when I was six. And most of my life has been spent trying to prevent bad things from happening, trying to prevent people from leaving me. And we married young. So I basically went from my mom's house to house with him. I never really had any alone, independent time. Right, right.
And I had really basically fought to keep the marriage together for about 13 years. And as hard as I had fought for it to end, I just couldn't. I couldn't. Would you say marrying him was that that was a good choice to make? No, no, no, it wasn't. We were young, drunk, partying. Yeah. Yeah.
all those things. Yeah, I understand. He was exciting and charismatic, and I even called in my knight in shining armor, and that's how I kind of believed in, like, my whole marriage, you know, thinking, oh my gosh, this guy loves me, this guy chose me, I have a lot of shame, you know, so I sort of always treated him like that, made him my god, but it was not possible.
Looking back now that you're sober and that part of your life is history, looking back, do you still see him as your knight in shining armor? I know you thought that at the time. But looking back, do you? No. He's like my custom-made demon. He hits all of my buttons and pokes them over and over and over and over again. Yeah. Yeah.
So don't you think it's curious, Leslie, that he did that to you and that was your life, yet you were upset when he left? Yes, yes. As opposed to, if you had called me that day, I would have said, I got a couple of good places to get food from. We should throw a party. Yeah. That's what I would have said to you. Let's throw a party. He's helping you out where you were afraid to go. Yeah, a thousand percent. Yeah. I had to give advance and... Yeah. Yeah.
Just between the 12-step program I was working and some therapy, I didn't want to be married to him anymore. That was the sane, mature part of you. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. But that other part of me couldn't accept it.
Okay, I want you to image something with me right now. Right now. I want you to see in front of you this huge long table from left to right. It's very long from left to right. Okay? And I'm going to put a hundred coconuts from left to right equally spaced. Okay? Okay. How many of those coconuts
I'm going to do it the other way. How many of those coconuts represent the crying thing you just did? Start from left to right. Take off how many coconuts? Let's take off one, two. Is that enough? Three, four. How many of those coconuts represent you not wanting to be married him for most of your marriage? How many of those coconuts? Um,
It wouldn't really be that many because I didn't become really conscious of it until I got sober. Okay, today. Today. How many of those coconuts represent you not wanting to be married to him? A hundred. No, because you're crying over some number of coconuts. And I'm frankly tired of hearing it. No, I'm actually crying over the fact that I've worked so hard and I'm still in this state. No, no, no. Stay with me.
Stay with me. You're still crying over the little handful of coconuts. Even though there are like 98 other coconuts.
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Some drive them for the performance. Others drive them for the range. And some drive them because it's the only way to make an entrance. Three different ways to turn every drive into an occasion. Whatever your reason, there's never been a better time to say, let's take the Cadillac. The all-electric Cadillac family of vehicles. Escalade IQ, Optic, and Lyric. You're not respecting the healthy part of your brain. You're not respecting it.
Keep crying over the few coconuts on the end. That's no good. You're not respecting the 98. So I need the crying over the other two to stop. I need that to stop. That's just self-indulgent at this point. Because you've done so much. You got clean and sober. You finally realized that he was a piece of shit all along.
And you're grateful to be away from it, but you got this little tug. But it's only two or three coconuts. You cannot cry over two to three coconuts. I won't have it. I hear you. Good. You've done too much good work, woman, to give those few coconuts so much power. You've done too much good work to give those few coconuts so much power. Yes.
Is that true when I also do that with my son and the difficulties in our relationship? Oh, yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah, they set me off. First of all, your kids watched you be abused. Yeah, they did. And sometimes that ends up in kids being nasty to their parents or one parent. Yeah.
And it's usually, well, think of it this way. Kid watches, let me just overly make this overly dramatic. Kid watches daddy always putting mommy down. Kid realizes, hmm, there are only two choices in the world. Give out shit or eat shit. I think I'd rather be the one who gives out shit.
Because kids actually imagine those two images. That's the only opportunities. That's the only, that's it. There are only those two options. So of course they're going to take the nastier shit because that at least puts them in power and keeps them from being a victim. So sometimes in these circumstances with you crying and losing your mind for a little bit, you take the hit. Yeah. And what you have to do, and my never to be humble opinion, is to tell your boy, you treat me with respect.
or hit the highway. Call me when you're willing to be respectful to your mother. Until then, hit the highway. And you say that very low, and you don't argue about it. You just make the statement. Remember, they always talked about
A man of very few words who was very quiet when he spoke. Everybody was scared. This is what I want you to do in a very quiet voice. You treat me with respect or hit the highway until you're ready to do that. The crying part has to stop. I can't do that. Oh, you're doing it to me now. I can't do that. Cut it out. No, I don't want to talk to you if you're going to keep doing this. Stop it. I don't want to listen. Okay. I'm going to hang up. You want me to? Don't test me. No. Then stop it. Are you sitting...
It's not a hard question. Are you sitting? Yes. Well, get up and jump up and down 10 times and count them out loud. Do it now. Get up off your butt and jump up and down 10 times. Let's go. Okay. I was in the car, so I'm going to be in my garage. Okay, fine. Okay. Okay.
You're in good shape. Do it 10 more times. I liked hearing it. You're in good condition. Go. Do it again. Okay. The crying stopped. Why did the crying stop? Because you just changed the brain chemistry by moving your body. So see, you don't have to be crying at a drop of a hat.
That time is over. You're going to start leading a happier, more fulfilling, stronger life now. You're not going to take crap from anybody and you're not going to start crying every time it doesn't look like it's going well. You're going to jump up and down. And I mean it. If you're in front of your son and you want to kick him in the teeth, just jump up and down. That's what I was just envisioning. He'll think you're nuts and who cares?
I already got it. You've got to get your pride back, woman, and I'm trying to tell you how to do it. He either talks to you nicely or he hits the road, but you don't cry anymore. That's over. You're taking control now. You spent a whole lifetime going, God, I hope nobody leaves me. I hope nobody leaves me. I hope nobody leaves me. And at some point you should have said, I hope this ass leaves me. Yeah, I should have. Well, say it now.
I'm glad that ass left me. Yeah. What did you say? I'm glad. I said glad. You said glad, right? Glad. Yes. Glad. Thank you. Oh, thank you, Lord. Thank you. Okay. And when your son gives you any,
You're going to tell him to leave. You're going to stop being worried about people leaving and more concerned about keeping people around you that you want. And if your son, your son has to earn back being with you by behaving properly and you help him be a better man. If you do this, you won't like it, but you'll help him for a little bit. You'll just have to wait for a little bit. You'll have to wait. Can't fix everything.
You can't fix everything. Are you going to cry again? Try not to. All right, jump up and down. Come on, 20 times. Let's go. Now. Come on. I can't believe I'm doing this. Okay.
Now, okay? I need you to do this. This is instead of taking a pill, we're using the natural chemicals between the neurons in your brain to help you. That's what the jumping up and down is. It's just not me being ridiculous. It actually changes your brain chemistry. It's like taking a pill without side effects. Yeah, I've got enough of those. I'd like to be off of. Well, you can. More jumping.
Yeah. Yeah. And it's simple. You can do it everywhere except inside your car. Yeah. That's the laugh I wanted to hear. Okay. Here's a deal I'm going to make you. You're not going to cry between now and Monday and you're going to call me on Monday. But every time you think you're going to cry, you're going to jump. I don't care where you are, who's there. Doesn't matter if you feel like an idiot, you're going to jump. Is that a deal? Can I cry a happy tears because you're so awesome? Yeah.
Okay, you can cry over that. I like that. All right, I'm going to put you on hold and we're going to make a specific time on Monday. Well, that's it for today, folks. Thank you very much for listening, more so for calling in, because I believe that people learn a lot listening to you and you're helping other people, including yourself.
Now go do the right thing. If you like this podcast, be sure to rate it on Apple Podcasts or your favorite place to listen to my podcast. Of course, I'd love if you gave me five stars. And be sure to share this podcast with a friend on Facebook or your preferred social media platform. Three distinct all-electric Cadillacs. Some drive them for the performance. Others drive them for the range. And some drive them because it's the only way to make an entrance.
Three different ways to turn every drive into an occasion. Whatever your reason, there's never been a better time to say, let's take the Cadillac. The all-electric Cadillac family of vehicles. Escalade IQ, Optic, and Lyric.