My Mom Can't Handle the Truth
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Stay connected to all you love with Life360. Visit Life360.com or download the app today and use the code DrLaura to get 15% off. That's Life360.com, code DrLaura. Thanks for downloading my Call of the Day podcast. You too can participate in my live radio program heard weekdays from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Janine, welcome to the program.

Hi, thank you. Thank you. What's up? Well, I am calling. I am estranged from my sister. It's coming up on a year. It's been a good thing. Because? Because we don't get along and we don't like each other. And 30 years of not being able to be in the same room, we just kind of figured it out. And it

And for us, and I can speak for her, for us it's been the best thing and probably the most peaceful year we've ever had. The problem... Well, what happens? I'm having... What happens? I don't understand. Give me a better picture. What happens if the two of you are hanging out? See, that can go off in a whole different direction. Honestly, it's been an issue since we're small children.

My husband will probably say jealousy is a factor, but there's been just a long history of her making me feel bad about myself, ruining family events, ruining milestones. It's just been a lot of resentment. How does she ruin an event or a milestone, if you wouldn't mind giving me an example?

All right, I'll give you, okay, for instance, two years ago I had breast cancer and after my surgery and recovery,

My first day out of the house in six months, my husband took me out for the afternoon and just spontaneously upgraded my engagement ring. It was just a surprise purchase. It was a great day. And which I can share that news with anyone and they would be happy for me. But this is a perfect example. I was scared to share it with my sister.

Because I know she'll crap all over it. And sure enough, we had her over. And I shared with her, trying to downplay the whole day as much as I could, but downplay with her the ring. And, you know, so she takes my hand, looks at the ring and looks at me. And she's like, why do you make him do that? That was her response.

I have been a stay-at-home mom 20 years ago. No, no, no. Don't justify yourself. Don't justify yourself. Do not do that. Yeah, that's what I do. Don't do that. Don't get defensive. Yeah. That's how you get hurt. Not by what she says, but by your need to buy into it and defend yourself. Yeah. Well, that has been the pattern for 20 years or more. Mm-hmm.

I could name a hundred of them. And it's all that kind of thing. Okay, so how can I help you today? So you're estranged for a year, and how can I help you today? Yes. Well, the only issue I'm having has actually been our mother, who can't seem to accept this. I sympathize with her because...

I can see she's in a tough spot, but there is a lot of meddling and phone calls. She sends like typewritten letters to both of us trying to, for lack of a better term, guilt us into having a relationship. I need to ask you a few questions. I need to ask you a few questions. New job? Growing family? Need a change of scenery?

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Have a spouse who travels a lot? A new driver in the family? A kid in college? When you turn on Life 360, you can turn down the worry. Life 360 is a location-sharing app that lets you locate anyone in your family. You'll know when they're on their way or safely at their designated location. And you'll have peace of mind with Life 360's roadside and emergency response programs.

For things that don't drive themselves, there's Life 360 Bluetooth Tile Trackers. I've got the cutest pink punch-colored tile hooked to Lily's collar. Tiles attach to all kinds of things like bikes, keys, remote controls, so you can avoid the drama of lost and stolen stuff.

The newest tiles have a longer range, a louder ring, an SOS button that can send emergency alerts. It does everything. Stay connected to all you love with Life360. Visit Life360.com or download the app today and use the code DrLaura to get 15% off. That's Life360.com, code DrLaura. Let's say your small business has a problem. Like maybe...

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Black Bag, rated R, under $17.99 without parent. Only in theaters March 14th with special engagements in Dolby. Is your sister also snarky to mom? Yes. So mom knows which one of you is bitchy. Yeah. Another reason she's not liked me is because... Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead. All of it doesn't matter. Your mother knows that one of her daughters is bitchy. Yeah. But she wants to know she's a great mother.

Because all the chickadees get along. I suggest you stop reading and stop responding to all these things. I suggest you just let it go. She's just going to, at some point, have to accept the truth. Yeah. That she may be willing to tolerate the bitchy kid because she's the mom and doesn't want to lose her kid. People are like that. And she'd rather push you because you're the good kid. So she'd rather push you. Yeah.

to get along because you're the good kid. You're not the bitchy kid. So it'd be easier to try to push you. So just let them all go. Just let it all go. Don't respond to any of it. If you're in person and your mother says that, just close in and give her a big hug and a kiss and go, you know, I know it's painful for you and I love you. That's all you need to do.

Don't discuss this ever again with anybody, a friend, an enemy, your husband, me. Never discuss this again. Let it. Yes. I know I can do it. I can do it. Good. Good. Just let it go. There's nothing you can say that's going to move this forward. Nothing. Just if you're in your mother's presence, hug her, tell her you love her.

And you're sorry that she's disappointed in this. Just the way it is. And the more you just sound like that, not defend yourself and give me a list of all the nice things you've done to prove you're a good person and a good daughter. Don't do that anymore. Yeah. I knew if I called, there'd be like instant clarity because I usually like talk too much. I answer her letters and I'm like, this is getting nowhere.

Don't acknowledge the letters. Don't acknowledge the texts, the emails. Don't. She calls you on the phone. Say, Mom, I got to get off the phone now. I love you. I appreciate you're disappointed and I love you. Bye, Mom. Okay. She'll eventually get it. Thank you. Okay. You're very welcome.

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