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Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

2025/3/24
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Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Lauren: 我与妻子结婚15年,她的一个朋友,也是我们共同的朋友,与我妻子的关系过于亲密,每天长时间通话,严重影响了我们的生活。我试图与她的朋友沟通,但对方很生气,没有承担责任。我感到妻子不在乎我的感受,更关心她的朋友。我们之前也分开过两年,我意识到自己当时太懦弱,没有坚持自己的想法。现在,我仍然感到迷茫,不知道该如何处理这段关系。我努力尝试过改善,但妻子总是将问题归咎于我的‘手机管理’问题,逃避面对婚姻中的真正问题。我感到自己需要被理解,但妻子并不关心我的感受。 Dr. Laura: Lauren的妻子不仅仅是手机管理问题,而是她根本不在乎Lauren的感受。Lauren应该意识到她选择了一个不在乎她感受的妻子,并且很难改变这种现状。妻子的朋友知道Lauren的妻子不在乎他,并且优先考虑朋友。Lauren不应该浪费时间在一段不健康的婚姻中。“没有人是完美的”这种说法是逃避现实的借口,不能成为忍受虐待和不尊重的理由。Lauren的妻子不会改变,因为她不在乎Lauren的感受。一个真正爱Lauren的妻子会尊重他的感受,并调整自己的行为。Lauren应该考虑结束这段不健康的婚姻,明确表达自己的不满,并做好离开的准备。Lauren可能因为童年经历而难以处理糟糕的关系。Lauren应该珍惜剩下的时间,不要浪费在一段不幸福的婚姻中。Lauren复合是因为懒惰和懦弱,而不是因为真的爱妻子。Lauren没有努力去改变现状,而是选择逃避。Lauren应该直接告诉妻子她的行为是虐待和贬低,并做好离开的准备。Lauren的妻子会对他的指责产生防御和敌意。许多人都会在一段糟糕的关系中寻找借口继续维持关系。Lauren应该每天都思考如何让妻子感到幸福。Lauren应该直面现实,不要逃避问题。

Deep Dive

Chapters
A caller, Lauren, expresses concern about her wife's overly close friendship with another woman. The friend frequently calls Lauren's wife for lengthy conversations, often disrupting their time together. Lauren feels the friend is using her wife as a therapist and that her wife is not prioritizing their relationship.
  • Lauren's wife has a very close friend who calls her daily for lengthy conversations.
  • These calls often interrupt Lauren and his wife's time together.
  • Lauren feels the friend is using his wife as a therapist.
  • Lauren's wife is not prioritizing their relationship and does not care about how her behavior impacts Lauren.

Shownotes Transcript

It hasn't occurred to Lauren yet that her wife's friendship with another woman has crossed the line to being inconsiderate and inappropriate. 

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