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cover of episode Matinee Monday: Look Who's Talking Now (w/ Conan O'Brien)

Matinee Monday: Look Who's Talking Now (w/ Conan O'Brien)

2023/11/27
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How Did This Get Made?

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Conan O'Brien
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Jason Manzoukas
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June Diane Raphael
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Paul Scheer
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Jason Manzoukas: 这部电影延续了前作中婴儿说话的设定,但加入了会说话的狗,这让我感到沮丧。狗的加入并没有推动剧情发展,反而显得多余。电影中人物的行为和逻辑也存在很多问题,例如小狗一出生就懂得很多事情,但不知道自己的眼睛是什么。此外,电影中狗的表达方式不自然,缺乏情感,配音与画面也不匹配,严重影响了观影体验。总的来说,这部电影让我感到失望和沮丧。 June Diane Raphael: 我对电影中会说话的婴儿和狗缺乏情感共鸣,更喜欢狗。电影中女主角的行为和逻辑也存在很多问题,例如在暴风雪中带着孩子开车去偏远地区,以及对孩子的关心不足。此外,电影中很多细节不合理,例如在平安夜举办公司派对,以及狗尿在女人腿上的场景。这些都让我感到不舒服和不安。 Paul Scheer: 这部电影抛弃了前两部电影的核心概念(婴儿说话),狗说话但对剧情发展没有实质作用。电影主要讲述John Travolta和Kirstie Alley之间糟糕的婚姻关系,但缺乏明确的故事情节,主要依靠演员的魅力。电影中很多细节不合理,例如男主角独自驾驶飞机违反了联邦航空管理条例,以及女主角被解雇后只能去商场当圣诞老人助手。此外,电影中人物的行为选择不合理,例如在机场的场景,以及女主角对孩子的关心不足。电影中很多场景都充满了性暗示,这与电影的儿童题材不相符。总的来说,这部电影混乱且不合理,不适合任何年龄段的观众。 Conan O'Brien: 我没有看过前两部电影,直接观看第三部,感觉很震惊。电影中精子具有感知能力,这在#MeToo时代具有冒犯性。电影的时间线混乱,人物年龄和时间流逝不一致。此外,电影中很多场景都让我感到不安和不舒服,例如小女孩的眼神和表情,以及狗和狼的打斗场面。总的来说,这部电影让我感到震惊和不适。

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The hosts discuss the disturbing behavior of the little girl character, her obsession with Charles Barkley, and the uncomfortable expressions she displays.

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BAS.com slash bonkers and use the code bonkers at checkout. After watching this movie, I don't know if the title is an invitation or a threat. We saw Look Who's Talking Now, so you know what that means. Now it's time for How to Discapate. We're gonna have a good time, celebrate some failure, not just be a hater, cause you know you're one good. How to Discapate. Let's all win the mediocrity of subpar.

Hello, people of Earth, and welcome to How Did This Get Made? We are in studio, old theme song, and two classic hosts. Please welcome Jason Manzoukas. How are you, Jason? Paul, when you told me I had to watch this movie, and after having just watched Look Who's Talking 2, I was depressed.

I was depressed to find out I had to watch another one of these, and it's animals talking. Right. I don't like it. Look, the audience called for it after Lucas was talking. And we listen to the audience now? We do. I mean, when they want us to finish up this trilogy, we have to do it. Please welcome my other co-host, June Diane Raphael. How are you, June? I'm good. How are you, Paul? I'm very well. June, your thoughts on this movie right out of the gate? Oh, man. So...

I felt such little connection to the children, the babies, when they were talking. I felt even less to the dogs. Really? Yeah. I liked the dogs better than the babies. Wow. I've got a lot to get into it after we introduce our guest. Yes. So our guest today really is one of my favorite people. He's a writer. He's a producer. He's worked on Saturday Night Live. He's worked on The Simpsons and probably...

most notably, has been on TV as one of the best late night talk show hosts in the game. He's the longest running talk show host on television, and he has a brand new podcast coming out here on Earwolf called Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. Please welcome Conan O'Brien. Thank you for having me. I was told, I'm doing a podcast now because I was told there weren't many.

And there was a desperate need for more. No, no, no. Someone is lying to you. I was told there were very few. We are literally drowning in podcasts. This is misinformation I got. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was told that it was a vast open space. The Wild West? I was shocked to find out that there was more than three people.

I really thought I was getting in at the very beginning. No, no, no. This is a point where basically you could, every person has a podcast that can be just for them. Yeah. If you have a phone, you have a podcast. Yes. Okay. So I was misled. I was also told that this will be a cash cow for me, my podcast. Oh yeah. I was told that. Oh that, yeah. I mean that's. If you're expecting to get paid in Bonobo's pants and stamps.com stamps,

Yes. Then you're going to be drowning in mail order pants and stamps, my friend. Then I'm happy. You're going to be sleeping a night on a Casper mattress and thanking your lucky stars. You will be traveling with away suitcases. You're going to have a room full of small boxes that contain large mattresses that are inexplicable. All right. I'm down for all of it. I'm excited. And fancy socks.

I can't wait. I can't wait. You know, my podcast is out there now. Yes. And so I'm not familiar with technology, but I guess you just swipe up and then my podcast appears. It just starts. I mean, yeah, you could swipe up. Or just look for Conan O'Brien needs a friend. On any of your podcasting apps, I suspect. I don't know. I thought it was just a swipe or else. Isn't there an app where you can just think of what you want? How about this? How about this?

Hey, Siri, because a lot of people are just going to be listening. Hey, Siri, so I'm activating people's series right now. Download Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast. Subscribe. And I'll help you out right here, and I'll go, hey, Alexa, download and subscribe to Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend podcast. This is fantastic. I didn't know these things even existed. While we're at it, though, hey, Alexa, buy the house on Blu-ray DVD. One-click purchase.

Sorry. Just in case. And this shows up on the radio. It's available. Our show is available. 96.9. Our show is that. Traffic's looking pretty rough out there on the 101. Hot takes in the afternoon with Conan O'Brien needs a friend. We are the only Zune exclusive podcast. So you can only get us on a Zune, which means you have to find a Zune. But then.

Once you have it. Yeah, you're in. You're all set. Conan, so we have watched Look Who's Talking 2, which was the sequel to Look Who's Talking. So we have kind of dipped our toe into this universe. So we brought you in here to kind of wrap up the trilogy. Okay, let me tell you my first impression. Yeah. I have not watched the first movie, Look Who's Talking. Yes. Or Look Who's Talking 2.

Two. Two. T-O-O, by the way. T-O-O. I have not watched either one of those. Right. So this experience to me, it's as if you two, you three were inoculated. You gradually got to dip your toes in and adjust to a universe where babies talk and shouldn't talk. Yes.

and are sentient. And then, so for you, this was not shocking, this third movie. To me, having not seen the first two. It was shocking, but I understand your point, absolutely. My point is that I went in cold. I went in cold not having seen the other two and needed medical attention afterwards. I take some responsibility there. That must have been hard.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you for, thank you for honoring my feelings. Absolutely. I will tell you one thing. If you were to think that these movies would kind of heighten each other, they don't. They throw out the core conceit of the Look Who's Talking movies because in the first two, it's about the babies talking. And now these dogs talk in this, but the dogs don't seem to really play an integral role in

In the family dynamics. It's so strange. So, yes, I would say from the poster, you would think the dogs are the main characters in the movie. Yeah. And driving the plot. They are not in this film. This is still another movie about the horrific marital strife between the characters of John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, who once again seem on the precipice.

of divorce for the third time in six years. I do believe that this is like if Arthur Miller came to Hollywood, they're like, you have to do a talking baby movie because it feels like this couple is, they're not well. Things are going badly. And in the movie's defense, what I think works about Look Who's Talking Now is

Is that... You found something that works? I do think something works with the movie. I think Travolta and Kirstie Alley have phenomenal chemistry on screen together. They do. They do! There is a raw sexual chemistry. There is a sexuality happening between the two of them. There's like finger gestures for that as well, June. Yeah. There's something going on. They love each other. They love working together. You can tell. Yes. They love dancing together. I was going to say that dance sequence really hits that. They're having the time of their lives.

It seems like they're having so much fun that people are like, don't even worry about the script or the jokes. It's just going to ride on your own charisma. And I think that is where the movie is hitting into a rough patch because it for a plot. We found this problem, too. You can't really go, well, what's the first act of this movie? What's the problem? It starts once again with a sex scene.

Right. It starts once again with a sex scene and the animated sequence of the eggs chasing after, I mean, the sperm chasing after or getting to an egg, right? Yes. Now, in this movie, is that dog sperm and a dog egg? Yes. Yes, it is. And now I want to jump in here. In the first movie, it was humans. Of course. Same thing. Yes. Well, first of all, I don't want to get too much into it, but it works pretty much the same with any mammal. I don't.

I don't have children, Conan, so I would love it if you would explain this to me. And you'll be talking about this kind of stuff on your podcast. Yes, yes. Listen, it's not a big leap, Jason, to say that, yes, that is dog sperm going to a dog egg. But the thing that blows my mind, and I'm assuming that it happens in the first movie, is that the sperm is completely sentient. Yes. The sperm, as it's headed towards the egg, is Danny DeVito saying, get out of my way, you guys. I'm headed to that egg. Get out of my way. Now, this is a weird...

but the sperm has the complete personality already before it's even hit the egg. Yeah. Which is basically the filmmakers telling us that even when,

before it has fertilized the egg, the sperm, the male contribution contains everything that is necessary. Correct. That is a horrible- The egg doesn't speak. The egg doesn't speak. This is totally, totally offensive, I think. I agree. In this era of Me Too, what is an egg supply if the sperm is already like, let me get in there. Yeah, I'm Danny DeVito. I got to get over there and fertilize so I can become what I already am. Danny DeVito. There's no, yeah, there's no youthful, like,

heir to that sperm either. It is fully formed as an older man. It's so like all women are made up majority Danny DeVito. Yes. And that's the thing is for men you can produce an unlimited number of Danny DeVitos but for a woman you are born with all of the Danny DeVitos in your body that you'll ever have. And once a month you'll slough off a Danny DeVito into a

or a Diva Cup? Unless, can I say, this is why so many women choose to freeze their Danny DeVito. Yes. And I think that's important. And if you're listening, that's a responsible step to take. If you're in your mid-30s, freeze your Danny DeVitos. Yes. And if you freeze them, do you take the edge off your Danny DeVito? Does your Danny DeVito come out of that freezing process maybe a little bit more Danny DeVito? No, no. You try taking the edge off Danny DeVito. He's a streetwise sperm who's been around the block a few times. Okay.

I mean, so that's, that's a really good point because then that dog is born and is just, again, just Danny DeVito. There's no other personality. No. Yeah. But the, but the rules of time in this movie are really confounding because he's a puppy. He's a puppy.

And, all right, there's so many things. For one day. They break all the rules. Yeah, they break all the rules because he says things like he's born and he immediately knows, hey, what's that guy doing over there with that sandwich? Oh, yeah. But then he says, and what are these two things on my face that I can see with? Yes. Like, wait a minute.

You know what a sandwich is, but you don't know what your own eyes are. Yeah. This happens all the time in the ones with the babies, too, because they will frequently be... Well, did you... The other thing is, like, they... He's in the house with the poodle, the Diane Keaton poodle, and she, at some point, like, in the third act, they go on a date. Right. And she says, what's your name? And they live in the same house. Yeah. I did think it was funny when he said...

His name was no. Yeah. She said, no, that's just what they say to you. But like the idea that they are so stupid in some ways to have not picked up on the fact that they call him rocks. Oh, that's his name. But she's just like, do, do, do what they, they willfully withhold information or give information as if it's just like for the, for the gag, which is more often than not, not funny, even remotely. There's also a clearly what bothered me is,

I don't know who here has dogs. I've always had dogs. Dogs have a lot of personality. These filmmakers went out of their way to capture these dogs' faces when they weren't emoting in any possible way. Literally, like, they held up two photographs of two dogs and just laid ADR tracks underneath them. I've seen people's Instagram profiles where their dogs are more emotive than this movie. Like, at one point, they freeze frame. You look at a lot of dog Instagrams. I do, I love it. No, but,

There was one point where they freeze on the dog because they can't even keep the dog still. But there's nothing about these dogs that are impressive. Okay, so I think that was a problem in casting. Okay. Because I do think the dogs, they, and I love dogs too. I actually heard that dog slept with one of the producers.

I don't think you'll ever get a poodle that's going to deliver. Wow. Wow, June. Listen. June, come in out hard anti-poodle. I hate to say this. I don't know that you're ever going to get a poodle that's going to. You're going to get so many emails. I know. I can already see the message. You know what? I don't want to be you in a supermarket any time in the near future. You're saying poodles can't act. A lady with four poodles come at you. You're saying poodles can't act. I think there's always something about a poodle's face that's hard to connect to. My body doesn't want to go to a poodle. I agree with you. Thank you.

But the Danny DeVito dog, there are a gazillion other dogs that could have played that role. Yeah, the mutt. Yeah, the mutt with like a friendly face. That dog...

He looked so mutt dog-like that he didn't seem to be special. Look, it's a movie dog. Get me a movie dog. I want to get me a Benji or something. No, no, they took a dog. I think as they were writing the script, a dog wandered by and they said, that's the dog. Rather than looking for the dog. And they also...

you know, they didn't, there'll be a scene where one of the dogs has to be saying something really emotional. And they literally just took some B-roll of the dog saying,

Just with its tongue out, looking sideways, thinking about lunch. Yeah. And they will put that over the dog and it takes you completely out of the movie. And that's stupid because I was never in the movie. I was just going to say. I'm sorry. I love that you were in enough. It took me completely out of the movie. Up until then, I'm on board. The thing that took me out of the movie was when Danny DeVito's dog goes over to bite the shoe.

he is thinking, well, cause he's always thinking it's like what's in the dog's head. But as he's thinking, he's also making chewing noises. He's like, Hmm, this is a good shoe. Yum, yum, yum. But if you're thinking this is a good shoe, you wouldn't be making a gum. Yum. Well, I do that when I eat.

That's my inner monologue when I'm eating. Nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Jason is the same. We're both guys that like, as I'm eating a steak, I'm going nom, nom, nom, nom, nom. Swallow, swallow, swallow, digest, digest. Gulp, gulp. It's such a weird thing. They can't even make the rules of this movie right on that. Like, it's like you would think like, are they thinking it? Are they saying it? Are they communicating? Because the other thing is, the first movie, what I think is the clever conceit is you're hearing a baby's thoughts.

The second movie, the babies are telepathically communicating. Oh, yeah. Because they're not speaking. And now the dogs, also without any movement, are telepathically communicating. And that, I think, takes me out of the whole thing. And all the dogs, all animals talk. We live now in a world in which everything has sentience and the ability to talk to each other. I really, at a certain point, was like, is there going to come a point where the babies can hear the dogs? Yeah.

Like that's where I started to get. I watched that movie. Yeah. But also, why not, why aren't we hearing, there's other creatures. Yes. Why aren't we hearing, when they're in the park, why aren't we hearing squirrels saying, you know, look over there, there's those dogs. I tell you, that looks like Danny DeVito. Why aren't we hearing clouds saying, I'm a cloud. I mean, it's just like Pee Wee's Playhouse. Everything should be alive. And these are the kind of voices that you're doing on Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, right? The podcast. It's mostly character work. No.

I mean, yes and. Sorry. Yes and. There'll be more of that.

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Listen, I love dogs. I also love children. Oh, wow. I found there was something off about the little girl. The girl? Oh, yes. The girl...

I cannot, I've been waiting for someone to bring this up. Something's very wrong with her. Something is very wrong. Someone needs to intervene. Yes. And I'll tell you this much. She's being left alone a lot. Yes. She's in danger during that Peter Pan time. They are terrible parents. Terrible. Time and time again. When they're on the tarmac outside.

of an airport, a functioning airport. The kids run in two different directions and they don't move their head. Like my kid, like there is- These are kids who were left in an apartment on fire. That's the second one. By the brother-in-law. Okay, you just lost me. You just lost me. These kids have gone through more traumatic events in these five years. Well, and by the way, for her, it's catching up with her. Like she is not a well child.

She has a sexual awakening watching Charles Barkley play basketball, which I felt uncomfortable watching. Also, can we talk about the doll? She has a Charles Barkley doll, which clearly she didn't purchase. She made it herself. Wait, really? Why do you say that? Because that was not a commercially available Charles Barkley doll. Are you saying that because you would have had it if it had been? I think we all would have had it. It's a Charles Barkley, like, raggedy doll.

Anne and Andy, like that's what it looks like. It's not like, it's not like an action figure. It's, it's like a, I'll put it out there in the universe. If anyone can find the store that sold the Charles Barkley raggedy, raggedy Andy doll that wears a son's Jersey, uh,

I'm buying you a beer and I'm delivering it to you in person. It didn't ever exist. So this girl had that made or made it herself. And, and, and they're also concerned that she like, not only they can, well, this is what they say. They say when they're talking about her being afraid of watching basketball, they're like, here, this is a little clip. Uh,

It's good? Would it pass it to Julie? Up she goes. She scores 100 million points. Plus those girls are obsessed with ponies and mermaids, not big sweaty men making jump shots. We'd be worried. Yes, yes. It's the suns, honey. If it were the Mavericks, I'd be worried. There's a couple things here. Why would they be worried that she's

I guess she's not fulfilling gender norms. No, they should be worried because there's something off about her. There's just something off about her. Yeah. They should be very worried. When they show her staring, first of all, she sits very close to the TV. Too close. And she's unattended. Always. And she watches TV for long periods of time. And then she fantasizes about Charles Barkley. And it's her expression. Yes. And I think this is what you've been trying to get to is, I mean, her expression is disturbing. It is.

it's uncomfortable to watch. And I've looked at her now. She's a normal, healthy actress. And I wanted to make sure that we weren't going to be- A normal, healthy actress. I was going to say, just like in looking at her, I wanted to make sure, I wanted to see where it all went to because she's staring at that TV like the scene in Poltergeist.

Something has possessed her. Yeah. And it looks, and I think the TV. Okay, the expression in her eyes, Paul, is like she's gone away. Yes. Like she is not there. What's supposed to be happening behind a child's eyes is not present in her eyes. Well, it's almost as if they shot her thinking they might still use Rosie O'Donnell's voice. Actually, Roseanne Barr. Oh.

to add her thoughts in. Yeah, that's interesting. Oh, that's fascinating. So that it's just like, she does appear to be a blank slate to just put jokes into, but maybe they just didn't do that, or I don't know what. But I agree, there's just long periods where in the previous movie, she would just be, jokes would just be flying fast about what she's watching on TV, about what the thing. Now, I bet I can fly jumping up on the bookcases and so forth. Okay, when she gets up on that bookcase...

It was terrifying. In the background of Kirstie Alley's shot. I don't ever want to talk about it. Just like this in the background. Also, Kirstie Alley does not have the reaction of- No. If one of your children at that age climbs and they're 15 feet in the air and they leap and you happen to turn just in time and catch them and save them from being paralyzed for life or dead-

you don't recover that quickly. No. Christy always catches her and goes, whoa, what's up with you, fly girl? As opposed to shrieking, oh my God. Crying. You almost died crying. Honey, what were you doing? Flying. Flying? Honey, you can't fly. People can. What? That is make-believe, honey. Remember when we had our discussion about make-believe?

man is a make-believe and they can fly. Honey, is that why you like them? Because you think they can fly? They can't fly either, but they can jump really, really high. But this is like, and I mean this, in the second movie, the children are in an apartment that is engulfed in flames. All right, if you're going to talk about another movie, I'm going. You know what? We're going to push pause on this right now. We're going to watch the other movie. Make me watch it. I agree. Hold on. We're going to pause and I'm going to see both other movies. Hold on.

And we're back. We're back. Though you, yeah, the flames, man. Crazy. Those are flames. These children need to be removed from this household. Well, I mean, first of all, both, well, look, the dad is making a very big wage being a private person

pilot to a CEO. This is a storyline that we are following from each movie. He is a cab driver and a pilot, and now he's full-on just pilot. He used to have to go back and forth. The reason they drive a cab is because in the original movie, he's just a cabbie.

And she gives birth in the backseat of his cab. Because she was having an affair with George Seagal, who does make a very brief cameo appearance. But it wasn't him. It wasn't? No, that wasn't him. It wasn't him. No, that was George Seagal. It was. Yeah, that was George Seagal. That was George Seagal. Oh, okay. I think it's Seagal. Seagal. I think you're thinking of Seagal. I'm thinking of Steven Seagal. You're thinking of Steven Seagal. I thought it was Steven Seagal. I thought it was the play The Seagal.

But why would he, why would he even agree to appear in such a limited thing? Like, all right, well, you, you love my character as the philandering accountant in the movie one. Why is Diane Keaton in this movie? Like,

Like, what's going on? The second movie was- But here's the other question. Here's the other question. They have Diane Keaton. Yeah. They get George Segal. Yeah. Segal. It's Segal. I'm sorry, George. They get George Segal. There are really no cameos for a movie that should be chock full of cameos. Olympia Dukakis. They couldn't. They got Olympia Dukakis, but you look at all these other roles and even the voiceover roles, how easy is it?

To get anybody. They couldn't get anyone to do it. Well, the first movie, huge hit. Ellen expected. The second movie, huge flop. And then they go, let's double down again. This is 1993. This is a year before Pulp Fiction comes out. So either...

he's shooting that right after this or John Travolta shot it right before like this is a weird moment in time because again it seems like they just really want to do this movie together and be these characters and have that fun I mean no maybe they self finance it oh no

You don't think they want to work for fun? Travolta does donate his own planes to these movies. That is a true fact. I have another question. Travolta always in the cockpit alone. That's a violation of FAA regulations. For small private charter planes? Yes. He seems to fly those planes completely on his own. Yes. There need to be two. Because he's a hero. There need to be two pilots. You never see another pilot. Yeah.

And also, they need to rest in between. That is a law. He is constantly – the premise is he's being forced to fly nonstop alone. Now I'm in Paris. Now I'm in Boston. Just for private – like a business client. It's not like he is being – it's not like he's a pilot who is jumping around for all these different flights. No, one person. It is one person. He's flying everywhere constantly. Who's –

sexually obsessed with him? And by the way, do you get that? Do you get like why she would be so into him? Has he displayed any characteristics that would connect the two of them? They set up also that she's on the cover of Fortune 500. And so, and she's this very attractive, very sexy woman who's a mogul. Right. And her only option for a man is,

Her only option is the former cab driver with the corny jokes. Father of two. Father of two whose life is falling apart constantly. I think this is though like that classic late 80s, early 90s representation of a woman in a,

like a leadership position, right? Where she's like sex crazed, wants to, doesn't care about family life. Frosty. Yeah, like she tries to fuck this man on Christmas Eve. Yeah. Her office is lynching. It's insane. Like she has- Yeah, she's, where is that? Her office was-

It looks like a mausoleum. Her office is like Jared Leto's house in Blade Runner 2049. They go to such lengths to make her devoid of emotion or any personal connections.

They don't ever seem to be having fun together. All the fun they're having is off screen, which is another weird thing because he's like, oh, she's joking with me because she bought me this jacket. She told me about this restaurant. And then that makes Christy Alley so furious. But it doesn't seem like John Travolta ever is cued in. Like John Travolta's character seems like the dumbest person of all time. Yeah, he doesn't seem to notice until they get to the cabin that like,

Oh, wait, are you trying to seduce me? Yeah, exactly. And then quickly turns on her. And it's like, oh, I'm so embarrassed. I shouldn't have, I don't know why I would think that. But then just sees the phone unplugged and immediately puts it all together and is like, you're a terrible person. My dog's going to pee on you in one of the most disturbing scenes in the whole movie. Just seeing. I thought that was ironic. Yeah.

When the dog pees on the mean woman, you know what? Yeah. That's a thing for me. I'm going to send you some videos. Just click on them. Oh, I have them. Just click on them. No, no, no. You cannot show me any dog peeing. Believe me. Sex video that I have not seen. I've got some real juicy stuff. By the way, why didn't she move? When the dog is peeing on her leg, she stands there and takes it. She's into it.

She's, yeah. And also it is sort of like that old classic vaudevillian bit where you and I are feuding and I take your tie and I take out the scissors. And what I've always wondered about that, and then I cut it and you stand there as I do it rather than moving back. Right. She's standing there doing a slow burn as the dog's urine is centrally rolling down her leg. Am I going to a dark place here? Not at all. Let's put more light on this place.

It's a movie that just aggressively doesn't make sense at every step of the way. And I know it's like a small detail, but like I hate movies where it's like it's Christmas Eve. But yet that company is having a full blown office party like on Christmas Eve. Like I get a Christmas party at an office. I don't get like the Christmas Eve party there. I also feel like dumb things are said like I'm making him a clam sandwich.

Oh my God. I flagged that. I wrote that down too. No one's ever made a clam souffle and no one ever will. Honest to God, if I ever am lucky enough in my life to find a woman to marry me and she makes me a clam souffle, I will straight dump her in that very moment and I will not ever look back.

I will light a small fire in our home and I will walk away. It sounds like innuendo, doesn't it? Yeah. Doesn't it sound like, you know, like, hey, if you're good, you're going to get yourself a clam souffle. And it doesn't mean anything that we think it means. Yum, yum, yum. Clam souffle. Again,

It feels like this whole movie is done in ADR. They just get in there and they're like, just record a bunch of lines. We'll make it all work later on. There's another thing too, which is more in the zone of Kirstie Alley as terrible, terrible mom. And I don't know if you go in order, if we're jumping around. No, please. She thinks that her husband is cheating on her and is in a cabin up in the woods. So she grabs her children and

and her two dogs. Yeah. From their safe home. From their safe home. On Christmas Eve. On Christmas Eve and races up into what we've been told is a snowstorm that's so crippling nothing can move. Yeah. And goes racing and then in fact does spin out, roll down a hill and crash into a tree. Yes. Yeah. In like the woods. Child services would be, would remove the children from her care. It is a literal disaster.

death sentence where they find themselves in the woods down an embankment crash against a tree and she's in there with the kids like opening presents and I wrote down I was like oh

In this moment, she's decided we're going to die here. I'm just going to let them open their presents. They were opening presents? They were opening presents. Oh, yeah, because she was dressing them. Yeah. It's really dark. And I was like, oh, she's just decided this is where we're going to die. It's like in Titanic when the mom is like playing with the kids in the bed. Exactly. Yeah. I don't know. She is saying this is it. It's been a great run. She is waiting for death. Sweet embrace. Were it not?

literally for the dogs interceding in their situation, Kirstie Alley was prepared to just sit- Freeze to death. To freeze to death in a blizzard in a 1980s taxi with her two children. Now, I think this is a good time to discuss the wolves. Yes. Because the wolves are disturbing in the-

What do we think? I mean, look, let's just play a clip of the wolves' voices just to get a... Oh, right, the wolves talk too. The wolves are like a gang of evil wolves. Correct. Who are meant to... Yeah, take a listen to... We can, yeah, here we go. Meals on wheels. Mommy found another doggy.

That's no dog, kid. Hey there, mama. On your way to grandma's house? So the wolves know about fairy tales. So the wolves know enough to know that like- Well, they know their own lore. To grandma's house means that's where wolves eat. Wolves are well-read. Yeah, that's true. Actually, I went to college with some wolves. And the wolves are speaking to her as if she can hear it, not going like, look at this stupid human. And look, their voices are very,

They're definitely making a choice about the voices, but I don't know which stereotype I should be offended. It's kind of like riding the border of a couple different stereotypes. It's like, what is this voice of like, hey there, mama? I don't know what is going on. And they double down on that when more wolves show up. Yes. Oh, yeah. And it's...

Yeah. It's, I found that again. Again, I was enthralled. And then that took me out. That took you out. It's an interesting, these wolves are, I mean, by the way, then they show you a full-on dog and wolf fight in this movie. Like. I think that dog died. Like, I think the real dog, that was vicious. I've never seen, there's no CGI there. That is a. So that happened. And that was troubling because it's like, ugh.

For this movie, and I think, I hope both dogs were safe and that someone, a representative from whatever was on hand. I think great care was taken through everything in this movie. But even if those dogs had to fight, like the fact that those dogs, two dogs fought.

physically for this film. We have to contend with that. And that's the climax for the children's film to watch a dog and a wolf fight? This is not a children's film. She's got her kids. No, it's not. It's not a children's film. It's an erotic thriller for adults. It starts with sperm shooting into an egg. They debunk Santa 15 times in this movie. Immediately. Immediately.

This movie is filled with sexual innuendo. Yes, this is not a children's film. It's PG-13, but everything about it would make you think this is a children's film. When Kirstie Alley has her kids in the back of that cab and the dog, Rox, is fighting what you conceivably think is perhaps to the death with that wolf. Yes. She has her kids in the window watching, going, come on, Rox!

Come on. You should shield your children's eyes from watching their dog be murdered. I just want to go back. If it's not a kid's movie, so this isn't a movie for adults. This is a movie for no one. Yeah. Because this is a movie that has ingeniously, it's as if you asked a computer, make a movie that no demographic could watch. And the computer would, a really good computer. I mean, the best in the world. The smartest, yeah. NASA has. Yeah.

And it works for a year. It would come up with this movie because it is enticing children, but also saying no. I mean, even if you're a sport- It's not a movie for dogs. And if you're a sports fan, one of the reasons that she wants to fly-

is because she's watched Charles Barkley fly by jumping so high. He is, if you know anything about basketball, the most earthbound NBA star of all time. So no, he's not Michael Jordan. He's the antithesis of Michael Jordan. - They went down a list and Charles Barkley was like, "Yeah, I'll do it." - I think they shot it without his knowledge. - I just wanna talk about the timeline in the film. She gets fired pretty early in the movie, Kirstie Alley.

And then she gets a job as an elf in a department store. Right. At the same time, the dog is being adopted by this biker gang, does a very dangerous leap off the back of a biker thing. And then the dog is full grown. Full grown. Full grown now.

And Christmas is still, we're still heading towards Christmas. I mean, the month of December is five years long in this movie. That's what I was going to say. It makes no sense. It's like, wait, it's still Christmas? The kids don't age. It doesn't age. A year hasn't passed, right? Well, it seems like a lot of time. But the dogs are aging rapidly. So we're just basically saying this whole movie takes place during December? In a month?

I think in two months. Yeah, and also you brought up a few things we need to address right away. You brought up that Kirstie Alley is fired, and they have established that she is very high up in the company and a top accountant, and it is tax season, which they keep saying. It's the end of the year. She is highly qualified, and she became too expensive for this company. Her only recourse is to work as an elf.

Immediately. Immediately. Immediately. She said that she's done every job that she could possibly do. Really? Like she has her. And what you don't know, Conan, is that her entire family is accountants. Her both of her parents and her brother. Yeah. So you're saying she has no recourse. She has nobody to reach out to to be like, hey, can I pick up some? It's tax season. As the movie taught us from frame one. Yeah.

The female supplies the egg, which has nothing in it. No personality and no ability. And we see now that it's true. Kirstie Alley had attained this position, but the minute it's taken from her by a male-dominated society, she has to become an elf in a mall. She has to enter into, like, perhaps the greatest patriarchy of all, the North Pole Santa's workshop. Yeah.

I'm not going to go down that road with you. That angers me. No, listen up. That's what I'm talking about. You want to talk about topple the patriarchy? Let's start with the big man at the top, Santa Claus. All right. You know, Mrs. Claus, she pulls the strings. And then, of course, John Travolta, who knows not much about his wife, just assumes that he's having an affair with the mall Santa. Like, that's...

- Oh, in their fantasy sequence? - Oh, the fantasy sequence in this movie. - The fantasy sequence, the dream sequences are awesome. - So basically, both Kirstie Alley and John Travolta are having nightmares about their partners cheating on them.

But then we're watching that in split screen, and then it goes to like a quarter screen where we're seeing them sleeping and their dreams above them. And then their dreams intersect. Yes, they step through. I think it was John Travolta, I think, steps through the line separating their dream sequences. So he's with her, which means...

I don't know what it means. So they're having a joint dream. It's like the Matrix. Yeah, having like a shared lucid dream, which is impossible. I'm going to say this. The third Matrix movie makes more sense to me than this child's tale about talking dogs. I agree. The rave in that movie now makes complete sense in the face of this.

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♪ How did this get made ♪ - I mean, again, this should be a very simple movie. They should have just changed directions.

Why have two dogs? They just overcomplicated every element of this movie. I would have preferred a movie. What was that Jennifer Aniston, Owen Wilson movie about a dog? Marley and Me. That was great. I loved that movie. I loved it. I would have preferred a movie about- Marley and Me. Marley thought his name was No. Marley thought his name was No, too. He didn't really. Also, he was played by Danny DeVito. Yeah.

But that's a dog I can connect to on screen. He did all the dialogue, and we're not going to use it, but we use it to inform the editing. But why not write a movie... Danny DeVito is on set as the dog. Like Scarlett Johansson in Her. Yeah. But why not write a movie where this family is feeling the pressures of their finances, and we're down to one income, and we are...

We are under a lot of stress. It's Christmas time. Do we have the money to give our kids the Christmas they want? And then have a dog enter the situation to kind of bring them all back together. And also uproot things too, which is not bad. Yes, cause total chaos and then like recenter everybody and remind them of their core values. That is not what happens in this movie. And it is...

And you can still have the dog talking. I think you just got the job for the rewrite. Did I really? Yeah, for the reboot. Wow, is it on deadline or should I check now? It's already on deadline. It's breaking right now. They're only going to reboot the third one, not any of the other two. It's like a new Halloween. There's going to be a sequel, but only this movie.

But it could be such a simple movie, and it's so overly... But I think we know from this series, they don't do things simply. These guys, they get in a room. Who are these guys? They smoke peyote, and they're like, let's do this. No, no, no. Amy Heckerling...

Wrote the first movie So look who's talking Her characters Are what she gets The credit for In this movie I'm sorry So Amy Heckerling Had nothing to do With this movie I feel a lot better She's the writer And director Of the first movie The first movie Makes you know A hundred million dollars This one More I thought Yeah this one The writer is Of Blind Date

Overboard, Loverboy, Pay It Forward, The New Freaky Friday, and The New Hairspray. So that person has written a lot. But it is...

It feels like, I mean, I don't know. It's confounding to me. It's confounding. Oh, yeah. There's a strange also way in which they allow the family to truly be broken down on gender lines. Yeah. Travolta almost never interacts with the daughter, and Kirstie almost never interacts with Mikey. When she does, the son recoils. Like, no, we don't play. And when Travolta calls, he's like, let me talk to Mikey.

It's like, we need to have a business talker. I'm like, he's not interested in talking to Julie. But I think she's overcompensating for not being Mikey's biological father. Okay. Yeah, that's the truth. I did find that out. Because when she does do that drop, like, he goes, well, you had an affair with a married man. But you can't call someone on their affair that they had not in your relationship. Yes. He just was a cab driver who picked her up. Yeah, but one's a cheater, babe. All right. All right.

That's true. No, I... Wow, June really lays down the law. Wow. You know what? We should all listen to June. And the way you said it. It's true.

It's, you know, I don't make the rules. That's just true. But here's the other thing, too. We talk about her being trapped in the middle of the woods. This is 1993. There are cell phones. I did not understand why after flying that executive, his CEO to her airport, why he had to personally drive her to that. He didn't drive her there because when he was a driver, right?

Right, there was a driver. So why didn't he get back in the car and just go? Or why didn't he just stay at the airport with a plane? I have another question. Yeah.

She had to get to that cabin and he had to fly her in this J7. Yeah. Christy Alley jumps in a car with the kids and is there in an hour. Yeah. What do you, I don't understand. Where is this place? Did one of them go through, did the car that Christy Alley's in go through a wormhole? Yes. So that it could get there faster than. What you missed in the first two movies is there are portals. There are portals. There are portals in this universe. This is.

Also, this is a side, this is a full sci-fi movie. Yeah, this is, that girl is alien. Also, one of the best moments in the movie is the entire family, Christy Alley and the children, well, not the entire family, Christy Alley and the children are saved by rocks. Rocks single-handedly goes out and he attacks, he fights off this wolf and saves their lives. Yes. And gets an injury to himself. At the end, when they're all in the cabin and he's, the injured rocks is there, uh,

She, Kirstie Alley, only says we can keep the dog because he sits. Yeah. He sits when he's told to sit. That's the deciding factor. Not that he saves children at the drop of a hat. Not that he did what she would be incapable of doing. She clearly was. Which is saving her children. She got back at him. He did that. Yeah. But-

All of that wasn't enough. Well, because she's worried about them shoes. Yeah. I mean, look, that's what she likes. She likes those shoes. There was the end of the... And by the way, the end of the movie is here are two people both unemployed with a wrecked car and they're spending Christmas in a ranger station. This is not a happy ending. This is like... I do think she also emotionally abused these kids. She keeps on telling them that it's Christmas Eve and that Santa's going to come...

deliver presents there. How? Well, I mean, I think that she was going to have those presents. But where were the presents? In the cab. She was in the middle of nowhere. They had them in the cab. But she couldn't get back to that cab in the middle of that storm. Oh, you mean at the end of the movie, in the ranger's cabin, you mean? Yes, in the ranger's cabin. I think she was just going to, she was planning to just give them ranger's gear. Yeah. Just steal stuff from the shelf. Just wrap it up.

Look at this, a kerosene lamp. You always wanted a kerosene lamp. I guarantee you, Kirstie Alley and John Travolta are going to kill that ranger and they're going to just leave in that station. By the way, where was that ranger? John Travolta enters in with oddly placed snow on one lapel of his jacket. Yes, yes, yes. Like white spray paint. Yeah. And then the ranger is never seen again. No, he goes, wait, look at this. And then he goes on the radio and pulls up like sleigh bells at the very end. Which is also odd because-

Is the ranger in on creating a Santa myth or is Santa real? This is a movie where Santa is real.

at the end too? You know what it's going to be? The next movie starts with Santa sperm. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I've got presents to deliver, but first I must find an egg so that I can become a person who already knows what it wants to do. Merry Christmas. I love these presents, but what's this white thing hanging from my chin? Um,

The plan for the- I have to, I'm just a stickler, but there's one line that really stuck with me that goes way back to the beginning, which is when John Travolta goes in and sees Rox for the first time. Rox is about to be put down. Rox is about to be euthanized and killed. And this guy, this caricature of a mean man

Oh, yeah. Is leading rocks by, he has like a noose around his neck and he's leading him into this room where they kill dogs. And the boy says, oh my God, that's the dog I want. That's the dog I want. And John Travolta says, we want to get that dog. And the guy says, no, this dog is scheduled to be destroyed. Destroyed! And I loved-

I love for that moment that any person with common sense is like, well, yeah, if you want it, take the... His joy isn't killing the dogs. It would be their last resort to kill the dog. Yes, but there's that line. It's just like, no, this dog is to be destroyed. I would love it if they just, in the background, you saw a dog in a room just be exploded. If they just put half a stick of dynamite down a dog's throat. He is...

And the walls are just like, bam! But what skin is it off this guy to give this manky dog? If anything, this guy should be like, great, I don't have to do this thing right now. No, no, no. He was pissed because he's got a quota. He's got to blow up 35 dogs an hour. Yeah.

If my boss comes back and I haven't exploded the right number of dogs, it's my ass on the line. Again, not to be the logic police in this movie, but the dog when we first see him is eating liver in the prison side of the pound. And all the other dogs are like, oh, he's eating liver. That means he's going to be killed. But they're acting like prisoners that are there for the long term. And he's going right to death row. He's on death row. But those dogs would...

Also... Eventually, they will be exploded as well. Everyone's getting exploded. Are you aware that there was a German shepherd and it speaks like Colonel Klinko? It had a German accent. He's like, I was just following orders. What? What kid is supposed to enjoy a Nazi prison guard joke? And then, of course, the chihuahua's like, hey, man, you want to love? It's like, oh, man. The stereotype factory. Oh, and the Scottish terrier's like, oh, be gosh and be God, you know. Um...

Oh, everybody, every accent gets represented. My favorite thing was when Kirstie Alley is fired from the IRS or whatever the tax agency she's working for is.

She, and she's so nervous. That's when she's, that's the scene in which she says she's going to, she's going to make him a clam souffle because she knows he's not going to get the job because she knows he's going to blow it at the job interview that he's at. She's fired. And her instinct is to go collect her kids and go to his job interview. And almost ruin it. Which is still,

happening question mark. And by the way, how would he, how would you have even found that out? Okay, I'm fired. I'm freaked out. Let me call where my husband is going to get injured. Okay, is he there? No, no, they actually went to the airport to look at the plane. Okay, where, what airport? Okay. White planes? Okay, great. I'm on my way. What? Why? Yeah, I mean, it's crazy. She doesn't, it doesn't seem she cares for the welfare of her children because she shouldn't

I mean, now they really do need this job. They wander onto the tarmac of a working airport because she's like, we're here now. I got fired. And there's like a heavy metal band arm wrestling in the background. They both make insane choices. So when she's getting him dressed for that interview and he's like going back and forth on what terrible outfit to wear.

Why wouldn't he just wear his pilot stripes? Yeah. His pilot uniform. Maybe, yeah, it's a good- Why is he arriving for this interview in this insane suit? I also just find it weird that you would have a sit-down interview with a pilot like that. You'd be like, all right, so tell me what- She's looking over his references like, oh, you flew for this person. It just seemed like a very-

It seems super casual because he'd be like, she was like, some people recommended you. And he's like, oh, really? I have no idea who. And she, can I see? She shows him and he's like, oh, Mike. Mike's a great guy. I was like, these are like CEOs or something that are like, he's reliable. And it's all because he's like a charming guy who like tells funny jokes. I guess to me, if I were to hire Private Jet, the only questions I'm asking are, have you crashed any planes? What is your flight record? That's fine.

All I need to know. And have you cheated on anyone? Yes. Right. Of course. Are you available? That's all I need to know. Because I run a Fortune 500 company. I look like a model. I'm 30 and I just can't seem to be the guy. And by the way, is she that bad? I said to June, before she gets to the cabin, before she really turns evil, is she that bad?

I mean, is she exhibiting anything that is not just a nice boss? She's totally fine. She's totally giving him opportunities. She's like, you know. She's a little calculating. Sure. She's a little calculating. When she gives them the dog, it's definitely a fuck you. Also, that is the biggest. I mean, you are not supposed to show up at someone's house and give them a dog.

That's a huge no-no. And then they start bringing in the dog's wardrobe? Yeah. And do we ever see the dog wearing any of that? No, but Kirstie Alley starts to wear a piece of the wardrobe when she feels like maybe this is something that would fit me. Well, she has such low self-esteem. That's someone who goes from running a large company to being a mall elf, sees dog's clothing and says, I wonder if that'll fit me. Mike!

Here's the thing. But also, not even low self-esteem. Weird body image, too. Body dysmorphia. To be like, to even attempt to try it on. This is what I deserve.

It was a nice outfit. It was a nice outfit. My thing was I would like, I would have loved if this movie came full circle and Kirstie Alley, we end with Travolta doing whatever he's doing and Kirstie Alley is now the cab driver. We have access to a working cab, New York City cab. Why doesn't she just start driving the cab? I feel like she can make a good living at that instead of being a mall elf.

I don't know. Guys, let's do it. Let's reboot that. Well, the cab's in the woods. It's snatched into a tree. I know the people at Senior Pizza, the one ad, would be very happy to get that cab back on the road. Apparently, Senior Pizza is a reference to an earlier film that the writers wrote that starred Kirstie Alley. Oh, funny. One other thing, when they meet at the restaurant, the fancy restaurant that John Travolta takes, L'Eliason, they misspell it. It's misspelled on the menu. Oh, my God.

They call it Leio-son. Amazing. That's the best. All right, well, obviously we had an opinion about this movie, but there are people out there with a different opinion. It is now time for Second Opinions. The movie was a piece of shit Yet this person recommends it Tell me what is the message Maybe that art is subjective

I need a second opinion. That, of course, is Jon LeJoy with his second opinion song. Let's get into it. These are five-star reviews culled from Amazon. These are people that love the movie so much that not only do they think it's great, but they wrote a five-star review on Amazon.com. This first one is by Joanne Edwards. Oh, wait a second. We just got some breaking news here. I don't know that it's exactly the same. That is not it, right? Jason just Googled Charles Barkley doll.

That is not the same. It's not the same. It's not the same doll. It's close. No, it's not close. The biggest difference is that this doll that Jason pulled up is a bendy toy. The doll that's featured in the movie is a soft toy. Also, the face of the doll in the movie is crazy looking. Yes, the doll in the movie is craft. Haunting. I'm just going to pull it up for all of us to just look at it one more time. There is the face.

of the doll you can all see it yeah that's very scary yeah that is a scary that is I clearly they don't have a doll for him but they needed to give her some representation so in the movie they I'm sure the the prop people is like we'll make one and that's what they came up with but that is a terrifying by the way they're also in New York it should have been a Nick but whatever um

All right, so Joanne Edwards writes, this is only in 2014, our dog Ollie loved this movie. That's the title. Totally cute movie, perfect for kids, adults, and dogs. Our border terrier watches TV, and this movie is one of his favorites. We just wish they included more border terriers in the film.

But it's fun to watch for all of us, five stars. Well, the key to that is my dog liked it. So to me, that invalidates everything else, which is she likes her dog to enjoy television. This is a movie that her dog tolerated. And so...

She is grading on this insane curve. That person's children should be taken away from her. Well, I feel like we did find one person that logic and jokes go out the window for. Dogs. They just are enough. Their real only complaint is not enough casting choices that reflect themselves. Yes, exactly. They want representation. The border collie just wants more border collies. Otherwise, the movie is flawless. Yeah.

This is a theme. Listen, you can't be what you can't see. This is going to be kind of a recurring theme in these reviews about dogs. This is from Scorpio 51 back in 2009. And it goes simply like this. By the way, a lot of these are written around Christmas time. I don't know why.

Maybe it is a Christmas movie. Is this going to be the debate? There's a lot of drinking at Christmas and you get sentimental and then you write a five-star review that you never intended to write. Like all, I was thinking like TBS has run out of all their Christmas movies. Like, I think Gluck is talking now. It's a Christmas movie. Put it on. 31 days of Christmas. We got it. We filled it. We filled the slots. We did it. We win again. Scorpio 51 writes, I love this show. Well, yeah, yeah. It's a great, it's a great family. It's a great family show. And it is so cute. I,

I can sincerely recommend this if you like shows with animals in them. Wow. Yeah. Five stars. Invalidate. Wow. Because they say show. I wish there was more than three two-hour episodes, but it's a good show. Do they just think of the show because they're watching it on their TV or all movies, shows? 2001 is a great show. All right. This is from Anil.

an unnamed reviewer, why is everyone giving one star for this movie? I rented this movie and it was great. So yesterday I went to the movie trading company and they have this movie. The movie trading company? Yeah, I don't know. So I tell my mom that I want to buy this movie. And what do you think? My mom bought the movie for me. This movie is so much better than Look Who's Talking and Look Who's Talking 2. So don't buy those movies first.

You rent those movies first because if you buy the first one, then you're going to think that this movie was a waste of money, which it's not. And then you're going to put one star on this movie. And I don't like that. And this is a must see and a must buy. And I mean that.

Five stars. Guess what? Signed, Danny DeVito. I like that Danny DeVito's mom led him by the movie. 89-year-old Italian mom. That was written in 2005, and that child has grown up now and has some very strong attachment to it. Just a couple facts about this movie. It was, like we said, made in 93, the year before Pulp Fiction comes out. And the tagline of the movie...

Anyone want to take a guess? Anyone want to take a guess on the tagline of the movie? So it's dogs talking. Their bark is worse than their bite or something? That's great. I would argue anything with a pun with a dog would be good. Yeah, finding their spot. The tagline is, the world's favorite family is back. Oh, God. The world's favorite family. What? The world's favorite family. By the way, until this movie, I don't think we've known Travolta's last name.

Yeah. Or Bicchio. They're not a favorite family if we don't know what their last name is. It's not. And by the way, that focuses the film. It's like we're watching this family. I don't know. It's not like the Griswolds. As if the world is really tuning into the Macanese. Again, it's not.

These people are unmitigated failures as human beings, parents, husband and wife. It's a disaster. The budget was $22 million. The opening weekend was $4 million. It made a total of $10 million. The first or the top three movies of 93 are Jurassic Park, Mrs. Doubtfire and the Fugitive.

And it came in the hundredth and ninth movie of the year. It was beaten by Demolition Man and Super Mario Brothers, which we did on the show. And this movie beat Surf Ninjas, Mr. Nanny, and Airborne. So it's a real big year for us. Just one little fact about the film. There was plans for a fourth installment of the franchise. They were going to do a spinoff with either Mike or Julie's characters now as adults. And then they would have their own children with their own celebrity voices.

Oh, God. The little boy who played Mikey would go on to star in another Travolta movie, Phenomenon. And for those of you Star Trek fans out there, I particularly liked it when Kirstie Alley said that she was part Vulcan, which is a reference to her character from Star Trek II, which she did not reprise in Star Trek III.

Oh, brother. Wow. She played Lieutenant Savick. Oh, boy. Much better than Kim Cattrall. Much better than Kim Cattrall. She got the full Vulcan thing. You should have quit while you were behind. Welcome back to Hot Takes with Paul Scheer. Conan, you are here because you have a brand new podcast dropping this week.

Yep. This is a really cool concept. I remember when you were – you would do these like long-form interviews that you could watch online that I always loved. Called those serious jibber-jabber. And that was mostly with authors and historians. Yeah. Because I like to read, and so I would just – I'd read a book. I really love it. And so I'd call up the author, and I'd talk to him for an hour and a half. And it was – And it was –

Fun. It was great. And so now you're kind of going into this a little bit in your new podcast. Tell us a little bit about it. Yeah, it's a pretty, it's a conceit podcast.

It's called Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend. And the idea is just basically me talking to a lot of celebrities that I've interviewed over the years in the talk show format and wondering, why did it never go beyond that? You know, why did it not? And it's actually something that I've thought about because-

A lot of the social cues are the same. They come out, they talk to me, they lock eyes, they laugh at what I say, I laugh at what they say. I think we made a connection and then they get in an SUV and I'm told to never contact them again. So it starts off with that and then we just talk about whatever. And my assistant Sona is there, my trustee,

assistant who has, uh, no respect for me or for her job or my job. And, uh, it's, so it's a lot of, I've been shocked at how much fun it is. I mean, it's after all these years of obeying very strict time cues and making sure that I take care of the guest and that I make sure that everything is just right. It's nice to go off the rails and, uh,

Let it all hang out. It's kind of fun. I love doing these podcasts. And I think we all do just like to be able to just go off in any different direction. It's like, I think that's the most fun. You get to see people in a very different way. Cause after I feel like in five minutes or seven minutes, whatever you,

everyone has to stay like on target a little bit. So you, you were talking to great people like Will Ferrell and Wanda Sykes and Mark Marin and Ron Funches and Dax Shepard, Nick Offerman, Megan Mullally, Bill Burr. So you have like a really great diverse group of people. Yeah. That's going to be the, the, the first, uh, that's the first initial lineup. Uh,

But I think you've all experienced the same thing here, which is everyone here has performed in front of audiences and I love audiences, but it's a double-edged sword. Audiences can lead you. Sometimes they're giving you, if they're not giving you anything, they can sometimes lead you to try harder to score. That can be a problem sometimes.

Which is fine in a certain venue, but when we're here and we're just talking amongst ourselves, it's such a nice break. And so I love it as a counterpoint. I really do love it as a...

a counterpoint to... Well, you are allowed, like, true moments of discovery and, like, revelatory conversations that, like, can meander into stuff that you just otherwise, an audience wouldn't kind of allow for, or you can just kind of build off of stuff that you wouldn't otherwise because it's quieter or whatever. Like, those kind of long-form shows in a studio are captivating to watch, or to listen to, I think. I also think there's a connection between

that people are making, for example, with your show,

They really get to know you and they really get to pick up on your different personalities and your opinions. And they get involved in a way that I think is quite different from if they see you on a television show lit a certain way, moving it along, getting to the plug, making sure that everything is, and not to put that format down because I absolutely love it, but. There's an intimacy to this.

that just doesn't exist I think on you know there's an intimacy to radio to everything there's something about people having to imagine what's going on not being able to see it not being able to passively watch an interview but to like let it live in their mind's eye a little bit you know and that's I think that's great and because we don't wear clothes here people are always surprised which I didn't know but you're so much comfortable you're more comfortable because you're in your own skin literally

I will say one thing too, maybe I'm being too bold and saying it, but you also get to pick who you want to have. You don't have to fill those slots. So you can basically just have your- Well, that's a mistake. Every guest I've talked to, and there's three a night for 25 years, has been someone I desperately wanted to talk to and who was a personal hero of mine.

So I don't know where you're coming from. Yeah, sorry. I'll take that back. The show is coming out, dropping every Monday. It started this week. So we're so excited to tune in. I will be there to tune in and listen and picturing all you and your guests naked. Conan O'Brien Needs a Friend, a new podcast here on the Earwolf Network or wherever you listen to podcasts. Can I just thank you guys for having me? No. No. No, no, I didn't mean sincerely. Oh, good.

I meant in a kind of show-busy way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. Hey, thank you so much. Oh, man, this feels better. This was such a good use of my time. We are so blessed. No, and I feel like we really connected. We are so blessed to have you here. Jason, you want to plug anything? I would like to plug a movie called The Long Dumb Road that is, I believe, out right now in all likelihood in New York and L.A. It's also available on demand. It is myself and Tony Revolori on a, like,

It's like a funny road trip kind of planes, trains, and automobiles kind of movie. If you want to see me be silly on the star of a movie, The Long Dumb Road, everybody. Check it out. June? Yeah, the...

fourth season of Grace and Frankie is out right now, which you can watch. And then the next one is coming out in January. And for me, you can be listening to unspooled a show I do with Amy Nicholson. Uh, we did the first 25 films of the AFI list and it's just getting so much fun. Every single episode, actually, uh, Conan O'Brien was on one of our earlier episodes as we talked about duck soup. Um, and a big thank you to everybody here who helps put this show together. First of all, April Hallie for pulling all of our clips, Cody for, uh,

pulling the show together. Devin for being in the booth, everybody at team Coco for getting Conan in here and all of you for listening. Oh, and I forgot someone else to thank the good old Nate Kiley, who is putting together all of our research and Kyle Waldron, who's creating some of our favorite kind of how did this get made? Photoshop's. Uh, thank you everybody at Earwolf and we'll see you next week. Earwolf.

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