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cover of episode The 12 Books of Christmas | Jordan Stephens on Love, Chaos and Becoming a Man

The 12 Books of Christmas | Jordan Stephens on Love, Chaos and Becoming a Man

2024/12/18
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Intelligence Squared

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Jordan Stephens
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Munya Chawawa
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Jordan Stephens: 本书探讨了作者青少年时期和二十多岁时经历的成功、成瘾、自我伤害、对男性气质的错误认知以及心碎等问题。他坦诚地分享了自己的痛苦、恐惧和创伤,并反思了社会对男性气质的误解以及对年轻男性造成的影响。他回顾了自己在成名后的挣扎,以及如何通过戒酒、寻求帮助和自我反思来克服这些挑战。他强调了在一段关系中坦诚沟通的重要性,以及如何处理背叛和不忠。他还分享了自己对DMT等致幻剂的体验,以及这些体验如何帮助他更好地理解自身和人生。他呼吁社会给予男性更多的心理健康支持,并鼓励男性们建立健康积极的自我形象。 Munya Chawawa: Munya Chawawa作为访谈主持人,引导Jordan Stephens分享了他的个人经历和创作动机。他表达了对Jordan Stephens的欣赏和赞扬,肯定了Jordan Stephens的勇气和坦诚。他与Jordan Stephens就男性气质、人际关系、成瘾以及心理健康等话题进行了深入的探讨,并引导观众思考这些问题。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Jordan Stephens choose to write his memoir now?

Jordan's memoir, 'Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak & Dogs,' explores his journey through fame, addiction, and self-discovery. Writing the book allowed him to confront and integrate the pain and trauma he had repressed, and it serves as a testament to his growth and healing.

What was Jordan Stephens' experience with fame like during his time with Rizzle Kicks?

Jordan experienced immense success with Rizzle Kicks, selling over 1 million singles and 600,000 albums in 2012. However, this success was accompanied by personal struggles, including self-harm, hedonism, and destructive ideas of masculinity.

How did Jordan Stephens celebrate the completion of his memoir?

Jordan celebrated the completion of his memoir by eating a massive croissant, which he described as a significant and memorable moment of indulgence.

What were some of the challenges Jordan faced while writing his book?

Jordan struggled with procrastination and distraction, often finding himself down YouTube rabbit holes or engaging in other activities instead of writing. He also faced the challenge of remaining focused due to his ADHD diagnosis.

How does Jordan Stephens view the act of cheating in relationships?

Jordan believes that cheating exists in a space of moral ambiguity and should be discussed more openly. He argues that people who cheat are often dealing with their own duality and unresolved issues, and that the conversation around infidelity is too black and white.

What role did drugs play in Jordan Stephens' life, and how does he view them now?

Drugs, particularly alcohol and cocaine, were a significant part of Jordan's life, often serving as a form of escapism. However, he now views alcohol as damaging and has been sober for six years. He differentiates between recreational drugs and psychedelics like DMT, which he considers more therapeutic.

What insights did Jordan gain from his DMT experiences?

Jordan's DMT experiences were profound, leading him to feel a sense of unity and joy that he had never encountered before. He described leaving his physical body and entering a state of complete bliss, which helped him gain a new perspective on life and the human condition.

How does Jordan Stephens view masculinity and toxic masculinity?

Jordan has stopped using the term 'toxic masculinity,' preferring to focus on encouraging boys and men to have a healthier relationship with themselves. He believes that hyper-masculinity is a more accurate term and that the focus should be on promoting love and harmony rather than toxic behaviors.

What impact did time have on Jordan Stephens' life during his struggles?

Jordan found that having too much time, combined with the pressures of fame and productivity, led to feelings of isolation and pain. He struggled to cope with unresolved emotions and grief, which intensified during periods of inactivity.

How did music influence Jordan Stephens' life and career?

Music played a crucial role in Jordan's life, starting from his childhood. His parents, especially his mother, nurtured his love for music, which became a form of escape and self-expression. His early experiences with performing, such as lip-syncing to 'Thong Song,' helped him discover his passion for entertainment.

Chapters
Jordan Stephens, a musician and actor, discusses his new memoir, which explores themes of addiction, heartbreak, and masculinity. He reflects on his experiences with drugs, infidelity, and the challenges of navigating relationships. The chapter delves into the complexities of moral ambiguity and the importance of self-acceptance.
  • Memoir explores addiction, heartbreak, and masculinity.
  • Honest depiction of infidelity and its consequences.
  • Moral ambiguity is a central theme.

Shownotes Transcript

To celebrate 2024, we’re taking a look backwards, and diving into the standout thinkers who have taken to the Intelligence Squared stage in the past 12 months. You might still be on the hunt for that perfect gift for the avid reader in your life, or perhaps you’re after some food for thought over the festive period. Either way, this 12 episode mini series will highlight the books that shaped 2024. We hope you’ll join us in 2025 for more events that intrigue, fascinate and entertain.

Jordan Stephens’ life during his teenage years and his twenties was a whirlwind. As one half of the hip hop duo Rizzle Kicks, his days were full of success, fame and adulation as Rizzle Kicks’ debut sold over 1 million singles and 600,000 albums in 2012. But for Jordan, success brought pain in its wake: a hidden pattern of self-harm, hedonism, destructive ideas of masculinity, and heartbreak. Diagnosed with ADHD, he was always chasing the elusive feeling of love and continually found himself distracted and derailed by drugs, drink, sex and chaos. After his world imploded, Jordan chose to step away from his previous life completely and allowed himself to finally explore the pain he’d repressed his entire life. 

His new memoir Avoidance, Drugs, Heartbreak & Dogs unsparingly digs into the fear, tenderness and trauma he carried. And it examines the confusing assumptions and contradictions about what a man should be that Jordan – and increasing numbers of young men today – struggle with. Jordan came to the Intelligence Squared stage in August 2024 where, in conversation with comedian, satirist, actor and Instagram sensation Munya Chawawa, he reflected on his own life experiences as he explores how we can encourage men to have a healthier and more loving conception of masculinity.

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