Ep 298: James Norton (in partnership with Dexcom)
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Welcome to the Off Menu Podcast, taking the tomato of conversation, adding the mozzarella of friendship, sprinkling over the basil of humour, and finishing off with the olive oil and balsamic, dare I say, of the internet. It's the Caprese Podcast, James. He's crazy for Caprese! Yeah, baby! I don't know if you would put balsamic on it, really. That's probably a bit of a...

on a classic Caprese. That's a gamble. My name is James Acaster. Together we own a dream restaurant and every single week we invite in a guest and ask them their favourite ever start, a main course dessert, side dish and drink. Not in that order. It's a bonus episode. It's a bonus episode of Off Menu. James Norton is our guest. A unbelievable actor. Yes, truly. An absolute talent. A chameleon. Hats off.

Happy Valley, stage production recently of A Little Life. Yes. Absolutely fantastic in everything that he's in. This should go without saying with actors, but let's face it, it's not all actors. I 100% believe James Norton in every single role. He disappears into the character. It should go without saying. It should go without saying for actors, but let's face it, there were some actors. The guy who played Lars Penfield. That was my next example.

Yes. Of actors who I believe 100%. James Acaster disappears. Do you have any idea how crazy it is for me to be sat here in this studio with Lars Pinfield? Yeah, and John the Mouse at the same time. Yeah, and John the Mouse. And the guy from Josh. And it should be said, this episode is in partnership with Dexcom. It is. A thing that is very close to both mine and James Norton's heart. And of course your heart, James, because it does a lot for my life. Don't wear it close to your heart.

I don't wear it close to my heart. I wear it on the back of my arm. It is my constant glucose monitor. It keeps me abreast of all the changes in my blood glucose level. We'll be chatting a little bit about that with James. It's going to be nice for me to have a fellow Type 1 on the show to bond with. I'm really looking forward to hearing more about it, genuinely. And I'm sure discussions of Type 1 diabetes will litter the conversation because, of course, very closely aligned with food and the foods that we choose to eat. Yeah.

and food has an effect on us. Absolutely. And, you know, I reckon there'll be a lot of people listening to this going, oh, I know what kind of stuff they'll be talking about. Well, why don't you write it down now on a little bingo card and then as it goes on, see how ignorant you are.

Wow. James has come flying out the gates. James Norton is an incredible actor and we're very lucky to have him on the podcast. However, if he picks a secret ingredient, an ingredient which we deem to be unacceptable, we will be forced to kick him out of the Dream Restaurant. Yes. And this week, the secret ingredient is Nature Valley Bars. Now, it's because...

It's got the word valley in it. We didn't really think about this one, I'll be honest. We're just excited to have James on. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But, you know, if you pick the nature value, Barney's out. Well, let's just get on with it, shall we? This is the Off Menu Menu of James Norton. James Norton.

Welcome, James, to the Dream Restaurant. So excited to be here. Welcome, James Norton, to the Dream Restaurant. Been expecting you for some time. Oh my God, it's the genie. Wow, on honour. Terrified. Terrified of the genie? Not terrified of the genie, per se. Terrified of... I've sort of been very excited about this and dreading it. Yeah. Why the dread? Because you mentioned the dread when you came in earlier. Yeah, I think nothing to do with you guys. Thank you. It's an absolute pleasure to see you both, rather than meet you both, as we've met before. Yes.

uh,

No, the dread is, I think my personality type, I am such a perfectionist and it's particularly about food and particularly about restaurants. So for example, I'm the guy who walks into a restaurant and will probably move tables at least twice to make sure I've got the best table. And then if the other table, the best table is about to finish, then maybe we'll move after. You know what I mean? And that kind of, I mean, that's extreme, but I'm bad. I'll probably change my order. I'll probably order and then panic and then go up to the guy and say, sorry, the waiter said, I'm so sorry. Would you mind? I would need the other one actually.

So when you give me one opportunity to come to my dream restaurant, I'm like terrified that I'm going to get it wrong as if this is my one opportunity to, and I sort of, there's some disconnect in my brain that this is still a comedy podcast and that this is imaginary because I've been agonizing about this for weeks. That's what we want. We don't want anyone coming in here saying this is imaginary. Yeah. Oh my gosh. That's, that's, that's,

Dexcom? That's actually not Dexcom, but it's a diabetic-related alarm. Oh, nice. Yeah. For listeners, James is also type 1 diabetic. James N. Yes. This is not a revelation that James Acaster is now type 1 diabetic. That would be a good revelation if we can do that in the future. So if a few alarms go off, don't worry about it. Just either me or James has hit the deck.

Yeah, that's it. I'm going to have to do the podcast. The other James is here. Yeah, exactly. So I love this. I love that you're a perfectionist about restaurants. Huge. I love that even ordering in the dream restaurant, you might want to come back and change your order. Yeah. What makes you want to change your order? I'm interested in this. Isn't it weird? Yeah. It's a perfectionism. There is a version of this experience which is better. And this is sort of a metaphor for my life generally. Like I'm, you know...

This is immediately into the therapy session. But yeah, I think there is a version of the experience I'm about to have, which is the perfect version. And whilst I'm still in control of the experience and I can still sort of strive to that perfect version, I will do everything I can to get it.

And so I'm in the restaurant, I'm thinking, actually, the gazpacho wasn't the right call. I am going off like crazy. Once I've ordered something, I'm thinking it's not the right call. There is a better starter out there for me and that will bring me more pleasure. I don't obsess about it and I don't have to go and change it just in case. And invariably, the first choice is always the better choice. Yeah, do you not then worry that you've changed it and the one that you left behind was always the perfect one along the way? Always. Yeah.

But what I've probably done in the meantime is manipulated the person I'm eating dinner with to order the other one I wanted so that I at least have it to try. Yeah, I think that's what it does. Is it what you do? I probably manipulated everyone around the table to try it. I get furious if someone orders the same thing as him.

because there's one less thing that you can try. Because you know when the wait is going around taking all the orders I've got in my head what I want and it's always the person who doesn't know what they want and they order it just on the fly that immediately picks the exact dishes that I want and then I know that I want those but I'll have to change it. Do you sit around a table of say four people and you order first and then

everyone says oh I'm gonna have that as well and then everyone orders the same thing and I'm filled with rage I'm like wait no that's selfish of you order something else even though I ordered the best thing make up your own mind but make sure it's not the same as me so I can try your food yes yeah yeah make up your own mind but yeah just not in my direction yeah that's deeply selfish to order the same thing in fact I'll make up your mind for you that's what I want so it's selfish of them

Saving a shoe because they want to eat it. I know. Because then you can't try it. I am aware of how deluded and vicious this sounds. But yeah, this all speaks to a deep problem I have. Also, it is specific to food, I think. I love cooking. I love entertaining people in my house. I have that host instinct.

And if I've decided on a meal and say, I haven't quite got the right ingredient, I will go mad. I will travel across London. If I'm making a tagine and there's an argan oil, it specifies. It will make absolutely no difference to the dish. But I will be like, I need that argan oil. This is where the two of you are very different. Oh, really? When Ed is cooking or making something, say he's making, I don't know, ice cream that his friend's mum has sent him the ingredients for. Ah.

This is a specific example James. And he's been told to get condensed milk. He will just shrug his shoulders and decide that evaporated milk is as good as and just use that and then complain when the ice cream will never unfreeze. It was rock hard. It was such a shit recipe.

And bear in mind, this was during COVID. I didn't particularly want to go to the shops. So I did a big online order with all the ingredients that this mysterious mother told me to get. And it was, you know, I put in condensed milk to the website and it came up with evaporated milk. So I thought they must be the same. I wouldn't probably know the difference. Yeah. Who are we to argue with Ocado? Yeah.

So, you know, up until that point, I thought they're the same man. I thought you were going to say, I've eaten at Ed's house a lot and he's just, he riffs. It's more on instinct. Well, you love cooking. And I was there up until this point. I was like, you're so similar. Do you know what I do? I am a bit. So if I'm, if I'm being really pedantic about a recipe, which I don't often follow, cause I am, I have my, you know, my stuff I like and I know how to make, and I do riff around a few themes. But if I'm like, you know, holding a, having a dinner party and I want to get it right. Yeah. I get very,

Again, it's just this, there is a version of this meal which is perfect. And also, I hate if I'm cooking a steak or roast and I've overcooked it by a fraction. I'll spend the whole meal going, it's dry. It's dry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I understand. You'll ruin the dinner party for everyone else. Yeah, exactly. By talking about how angry you are that something went slightly wrong. And everyone's going, it's really delicious. Don't worry about it. No, I'm going to eat mine in the bedroom. Yeah.

That's me. Yeah, completely understand that. So you understand why me coming on this podcast is fraud? Yes. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Does that ever translate? So I'd say that Ed and I, so Ed is like that, what you described. Yes. And I'd say I am like that

but only when it comes to being on stage and doing a show. Interesting. And the second that I have messed up and it's not going to be the perfect show, I'm like, what's the point? What's the point in us not being here? Do you get like that on stage as well? Are you just on the Ed side of things and not the... I mean, James side of things are confusing because you are called James, but like, you know. I...

It's a really good question. I mean, I think my job, maybe I assume it's the same with comedy. Well, you've done a four-hour play. That's longer than either of us have ever been on stage. Yeah, that was the play thing. I think often in my, what I've learned actually, I think, relatively recently in terms of what I do is that actually the mistakes are where it gets good. And the more loose I am and the more open I am to not being perfect against my character, actually that's where the kind of magic happens.

magic lies so um if any young actors which is i've got that point in my life as i'm sure you guys have got any advice for young people i am the young people but um if i do get asked about advice for people uh it's often like don't want to embrace the imperfections because that's that's that's where the story is that's where humanity is so yeah actually more and more i'm kind of like if i fuck up it's no bad thing within reason maybe it'll be like that for this menu yeah let's see

Still love sparkling water, James. That's an easy one. Sparkling all the way. Yeah. Every time. Oh, yeah? Yeah, I'm one of those. I'm sorry. Don't apologise for it. The sparkling water crew do get made to feel that they need to apologise. Why is that? Because we're worried we're too bougie. Yeah. I think there's an element of that, but I think you need to divide the sparkling water crew into different factions because there's people who are like,

I always have it when I go to a restaurant because that feels like I'm out, like it's a special thing. And there's some like deep members of the sparkling water crew who are drinking it at home. They're buying bottles of it to drink at home. They're drinking it instead of still water across their whole lives. What about those people who have the machines? The machine people. Yeah, I'm sorry. Are you a machine person? I am. But in my defense, I haven't had a cartridge replacement for a long time. So I am suffering with the basic un-fizzy tap.

but no I do have sparkling water in my fridge yeah I don't know why it just makes me happy again it's the perfection thing if I am having a drink of water and it could be slightly better because of the sparkle I'm like this is

this is just annoyingly not as good as it could be. So now there's no joy for you in still water at all? I mean, it keeps me alive, I guess, in that sort of basic way. So that's joyful. Sparkling water, if you only drank sparkling water, that would also keep you alive, right? I've heard you guys have this debate before, if it hydrates you. And you actually, brilliantly, I think it was one of the recent ones, said there had been a study that said it does keep you alive. Yeah, I think, but,

it just feels weird to me it feels like I know still water isn't like the most joyous thing in the world when you're drinking it but I do get joy from it because I'm like chugging it down being like look at me so grown up having a water I also take pleasure in water I always found it funny when you're at school and there was someone like I don't like water I only drink coke I'm like really? I only drink coke you don't like water is that real? yeah that's why you've got no teeth that's why you've got no teeth and you have Chinese leftovers in your lunchbox

I'm calling social services. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, my dad doesn't like water. No. Really? I feel like there's a punchline coming. No, that's it. He doesn't like water. He told me that he has to hold his nose when he drinks water.

Yeah. He hates it. He can't stand it. Things are disgusting. What does it do to his nose? Oh, the smell. It's like he can't smell it, which I question that. Is he drinking out of the... What is he drinking? Out of the toilet. He's laughing away at the book. That'll explain why. That's why he's doing it. If I ever catch him doing that, holding his nose, I'm like, Dad, I think I know why you don't like water. I've never liked water. And you have to drink it out of this big

this big white thing I have a question that's diabetes related but I'm worried it might be ignorant go on hit the taboo we love it what if one day you had to change your pump and also had to change your fizzy water cartridge at the same time and you got them mixed up that

That's not ignorant, James. No, that's not ignorant at all. You get this question a lot though, right? I do get this question a lot, yeah. It's never happened to me, but obviously people think about it a lot. Well, I guess what would happen is my pump would then become my fizzy water dispenser and anyone who came around to my house would have insulin as water. Insulin flavoured water.

well, it would just be pure insulin. So I'd probably murder all my dinner party friends. And in terms of how the pump would then be intravenously pumping fizzy water into my... But it's just the gas cartridge, right? Yeah. So it'd just be pure CO2. So you'd be dead. We'd all be dead. We'd all be dead. Surprisingly.

So we'd have to try and piece that together. Yeah, that's a good murder mystery, isn't it? Oh, it's an accident. This guy was hammered when it was time to change both things. Got them mixed up. And then his guests arrived. I think it'd be a quick murder mystery because you'd be like, right, they all drank this water. It's like an insulin, isn't it? It'd be very niche for all those people who didn't really know what insulin does. But it'd be more they'd have to then figure out how you had died. They'd be like, okay, they all drank this, but this guy...

He's over here, doesn't seem to have drunk any of that, but he's dead too. I think what would be probably the big giveaway is that whilst the pump may double up as the CO2 canister and people wouldn't know, I would have a huge metallic kind of thing sticking out of my midriff, which the inspector might notice. And also insulin stinks. Insulin stinks, yes. Anyone who knows a diabetic smells of hospitals. Yeah.

It's really interesting the reaction that gets, isn't it? Yeah. It really stinks. Does it? Yeah. It smells like hospital. It smells like very chemical. Ah, I like that. But people do like it. Do you get that? I like that smell. People complain about how hospitals smell. I don't get it. I like it.

it lots of people smell the instant and go oh that makes that makes me think of a hospital and then other people are like oh that makes me think of a hospital I guess it depends what your hospital experience was there's good and bad things happen in those it reminds me of my child's birth that's nice there you go reminds me of the time I died reminds me of my Brazilian butt lift pop those old bread pop those old bread James Norton pop those old bread

Easy. Bread, bread, bread, bread. So it's easy so far. These are fine. Where are you going with the easy question? These are fine. Yeah, bread. But I mean, I know, but specifically, I want like steaming hot sourdough with like a soft centre, very crusty. And can I have three different types of butter, please? Yes. Yeah. I'd like this sort of salted, traditional, nice and thick. Don't go, what is it, churned or whatever, or

or whipped or you winced you really visibly winced why would you whip up something with such beauty I love butter I don't mind whipped butter but I do think it's a way of restaurants getting less butter onto the plate interesting they're putting more air into it and they're like look at this fancy whipped butter and you're like yeah but that if you saw that in just a normal pat form it would be tiny but doesn't it just dilute something delicious

I mean, I do like the texture of it. I like it. You feel a bit worse. I feel better about slathering loads on when it's whipped. Yeah. I don't want my whip, thanks. I'd like a little bit of salt on one. I want a truffle one, please. And then the third one, I think I'll just leave to the chef. Marmite one. Yeah. Because that's a genuine... I've had marmite butter before. It was delicious. I had...

lunch at the Ham Yard today and I think their bread has a very slight Marmite taste to it. It was absolutely delicious. Yeasty, very yeasty. Maybe that's it. I guess there is yeast in all bread, isn't there? This is true. Maybe they up the yeast. It tasted like that. Bread is big for me.

And as a diabetic, that's problematic because it's just not great to eat a huge loaf. But I often... It's admin, isn't it? Bread is admin. What, delicious admin? It's delicious admin. It's always worth it. But you have to do it. But I'll be like, right, bread, I've at least got a few hours of trying to make sure everything's fine after I have bread. Oh, I see, in terms of my admin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it is a bit admin-based. Or it leads to it. But yeah, I love bread. I love bread. I was one of those people who went down the whole sourdough craze.

during lockdown. So I love bread, love crusty, hot bread.

and love butter and will always eat you know that thing where there's like four people around the table and there are four slices I will eat mine very quickly and I'll wait for someone to only eat half of theirs and then I'll eat the rest and desperate for the waiter to come back and go do you want some more bread I would order more bread yeah for your dream meal obviously I'll keep coming back with the bread can I recommend a place for bread if you're really into bread

You might have been, but there's a place called OMA, which is in Borough Market, which is like sort of broadly Mediterranean. There's a lot of sort of Turkish influences. There's Greek influences. There's a little bit of Italian influences, but some of the main courses at the beginning that that

that doesn't make sense, but you know what I mean. There's a dips section. Yeah. There's like an amazing baba ganoush. There's an amazing tarama. There's just all incredible dips, but with a slight twist and there's like a scallop XO dip thing that was incredible. But the breads that come with these things. Amazing. Like this...

bagel looking type bread but covered in garlic butter there's like garlic butter running through it there's like these amazing flat breads I'm in huge shout out to the bread at Omer do you have a specific place that you think that's my favourite bread I've heard Dean Street Town has bread mentioned on here a couple of times which is a very good bread again I think it's the heat it's clearly just freshly cooked it's crusty but it's not quite crusty enough for me I love food I love eating lots of good food

I'm not great at remembering great restaurants. I can't, like the starter in New York in 2005, it sort of blurs into one big gorge. That's fine. You don't need to remember the places. But in terms of, yeah, I mean, Hamlet had the Marmite bread. It's pretty good today. Had it at lunch today.

Well, let's get into your menu proper then. Can I have a loophole? Yes. Well, let's hear it first. Let's hear it. So I love going to those restaurants where above the starters, there's the scallops and the like, you know, snacks. Oh, yeah, yeah. A little snack section. Am I allowed a scallop round without it being a starter? I think... Sorry, guys. I think...

The snacks portion of the menu is common enough now that that's an acceptable loophole. Would there be scallops on there? Sorry, I'm obviously nervous. I'm not saying scallops. Oysters. The oyster section where it sits with smoked almonds and that kind of section. Olives. And it has extra bread. Sorry.

I love scallops. I love oysters. So a dozen oysters for the table. 100%. We've let people do the oyster loophole before. You've been in good company. Joe Quinn comes to mind. I did the oysters. Although I think we may have made Joe Quinn have the oysters on the way to...

Did he go somewhere? The meal. We were like, it has to be on your way. Whereas I don't really think we need to do... Reflecting on it now. Yeah, we just wanted to troll that guy. That was unnecessary. Cool. You can just have it as part of the... It's in the snacks. Snacks section. Yeah. I've seen that part of the menu before. I think that's completely allowed. What a relief. By the way, for the table is...

James A's catchphrase because we'll be sat somewhere we'll all be happy with what we're going to order and like we've already ordered too much food and James will pick like two more dishes that we've not got and go we should get these for the table yeah it's great it's a great idea no one wants them just the table it's always when I know I'm going to feel sick after this meal because we've ordered so much food and the waiter stood there being like fucking hell guys we said eight dishes maximum and there's no room on this table and James is going for the table for the table for calamari I

I feel like we're speaking from appetites. I have a huge appetite. I regularly get to the point at the end of the order and go, is that enough? Are we going overboard? Can you just advise us? And he or she will go, no, I think you're good. And then I'll sort of agonize for a second and go, actually, we do want the extra. And occasionally they'll say, I'd stop there, you're enough. And they'll argue or they'll push back on my extra order. And then I will be vindicated every time.

I will always have eaten, probably because I'm just trying to prove myself right. But I will always, always add a couple for the table. Sometimes I'll ask the question, how hungry are you? Yeah. You say, is that too much? Is that too much? Well, how hungry are you? And you're like, I don't know if that's going to help you. You don't know me that well. Well, do you know what I say to that question? Ask me that question. How hungry are you? Hello, I'm Ed Gamble. And that works now. Yeah. I know. I know.

But that's why I do it when I'm out for a meal with you. Yeah. I go, Ed wants to try everyone else's anyway. If I say for the table, he won't be able to resist it. Exactly. He will have it. Yeah. It doesn't matter how hungry I am. It's for the table. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The table's hungry. The table is hungry. How many oysters do you want for this? A dozen, you said. A dozen, I think. It depends who's here. It's for the table. It's for the table. Are they big oysters? Are they creamy? They're from an island off the west coast of Scotland called Colinsay.

For someone who said he doesn't have specifics. I know, I know. It sounds booby, doesn't it? Look at this. Well, it's because I've been on holiday there a few times. What's the name of the fisherman who caught them? I don't know. There's an oyster man up there. Proper old Scottish guy, I think. You'd think so. They are. You'd hope so, yeah. Yeah.

They're famous for their oysters and I've eaten them on the beach, you know, cracking them. I think locations look sooky and so sitting on the beach with friends on one new year, bucket of oysters, my friend who found out he had an allergy that night throwing up deep down the beach. Wow. Awful. Yeah. That guy's never eaten an oyster since. But everyone else had an amazing night and the oysters were absolutely delicious. You're shucking them yourself? That night.

I was. I mean, in this restaurant, I'd appreciate it if you did it. A guy bringing them back into shore who haven't caught them going, they've got a bunch of gunk on them tonight. I don't know why your friend's there. Directly into the sea. I also keep saying you guys as if you're hosting me at this restaurant. Well, that's up to you really. I mean, I guess there is a genie waiter and, you know, I'm technically the maitre d'. Are you? You're here as well? Yeah, I'm here, but

I don't have to be. It's your dream. So whoever you're eating with is up to you. We won't get offended. I was hoping maybe that you guys were eating with me and I would just manipulate your orders so that I got to eat. That's fine. That's also fine. I'll have your dream meal. Have you got no one else that you'd prefer to join you at your dream meal? Out of all the people you know, who is the most easily manipulated? I can't say that on the podcast because they'll know that I'm manipulated. Lancashire?

In terms of people I've worked with. You ever try and manipulate that? I imagine that's impossible. She's not a manipulatable. I imagine you can't affect her meal choices. I think she manipulated me probably without me knowing it. No, she's not manipulatable. You must have had plenty of meals with her. Not that many because we didn't actually do that many scenes together. We would kind of come together occasionally in the series and have these very explosive scenes and then we were going to go away and

talk about the scenes but we would never really I spent enough time to know that she's amazing and we had a really lovely time particularly in the first series actually we spent most of the time off camera just talking about house renovations because renovating a house at the time and she loves flipping houses

So she gave me a lot of advice on what bathroom to buy and all that kind of stuff. That's great, after a really intense scene as well. I know, that's what people think. People often ask me, oh, after those scenes, how did you decompress? And were you sort of in the corner shaking with trauma? I'm like, nope, I was choosing my tiles. One of the few characters who I've forgotten is like, you know, not real. We've not been watching it.

your character and I've been like fucking get that cunt fucking get him that's acting baby that's acting I was like absolutely piece of shit yeah why is he allowed in this drama get him Sarah Lancashire

Are you still feeling it right now? Not right now. You're such a nice person. It's quite disarming. I can't believe it, how nice you are. What if this is the performance? The twist. I promise I'm not a psychopath. But I do get offered roles where I'm the seemingly nice guy with a heart of stone. I do sometimes think, what does that say about me? When I walk in, they go, it's complete. He's a disingenuous motherfucker. You walk in and say, hi guys, nice to meet you. You go, you got the part. Yeah.

Yeah, exactly. He's a fraud. He's a monster.

So the oysters have all been shared. That's lovely. Is there another loophole before the starter? No, no, no. I'm good. I'm good. Thank you. I mean, I wouldn't mind some smoked almonds, but no, let's stick with it. Well, they're in the snack section. We'll just bug them on. Oh, thanks, guys. The snack section. Yeah. This is my problem as well. It's because I can't not eat everything. Now I'm getting stuffed and I'm kind of full. Yeah, of course. Two baskets of bread, all the oysters and all the almonds. So this is where I'm getting nervous. Okay. And horny as fuck after all those oysters. Yeah. Yeah.

Hey, how about that? How about if you had something like a monitor that would tell you how horny you were? Like on your phone, on your phone and it would like come up and let you know. Yeah, it would let you know. You're at 15.5. Oh, I'm sorry. Be careful. That's too good. Yeah. I mean, I guess we kind of do have a similar thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah, a little bit. Yes. We've all got that.

Have you not? I don't know what you're talking about. That's nature's Dexcom. No idea what you're talking about. The sexcom. I don't know what you guys are talking about. So the nerves kick in here because I've got lots of choice. And this is an interesting thing, actually, diabetic related, is I don't know about you if you've heard this, but apparently the reason Italians are very healthy and they eat a lot of carbs and they manage to maintain good glucose levels is because they start their meal with the vegetarianism.

the vegetable with fiber. Interesting. And fiber, if you start a meal, I mean, we've completely screwed up already because we've already had seven baskets of bread. So that's done. But if you start your meal every time with fiber, your glucose levels should stay more level and you can have more carbs for your second, uh, pre whatever, you know, the second, first course, and then you have your potato and your fries for your third, if you start with fiber. And since hearing this, I've really tried to start my meals with vegetables.

in my starter. Have you noticed a difference? Well, I think I have, you know. I really do. But I know, it's game-changing. I'm going to try that. I read about it. There's some people who've started to talk about it more and more. And when they told me the link to the Italian diet, it made complete sense. That's why they're all so healthy. They lead this very long, happy, healthy life. But this Mediterranean diet, which is seemingly full of carbs. Yeah. But I'm getting...

You're saying this as if that's a fact, that that's how Italian people eat. I get all of that from Olivier adverts. Is it true? Or, you know, the Mediterranean diet, they love it. That was the longevity of the blue zones. Maybe it's because they all live in a family, isn't it? Yeah. Well, I'm going to try that. I'm going to have one stalk of broccoli tonight before I eat a full fish and chips.

You have to, I mean, it's something fibrous, something fibrous to lie in your stomach. Anyway, and also I know what my main course is going to be. So originally I was going to go for like a lobster bisque or a chowder. I love like, cause I love the bread and I love all my butter. There's nothing, but my second basket of bread, which I've eaten probably half of, I'll then start like loading it into a soup and

Lobster Bisc makes me feel sick. Does it? Why? Because I had a wisdom tooth out this year and I was like, I said to my girlfriend, go into the shops, I said, just get me some soup. Go to Bisc. And she went to M&S and she just went, I thought I'd get you this. And it was Lobster Bisc. And I was like, I can't be bothered to heat it up. And I just drank it cold. And I was like, why did I do that? Yeah, 100% your fault. I was like, I feel sick now. I can't.

I can't look at it. That's horrible. Yeah, I mean, that would do that to you, I guess. Yeah, I just thought maybe that would be nice just to have it cold like a gazpacho, but it wasn't. With the lumps of cold lobster slipping down. Yeah, yeah. It's actually not that lumpy, but it was very, very fishy and lobster-y. And cold. Cold, yeah, yeah. So as soon as you said lobster beats, it goes like...

Do you still want that? The jean is the worst in the companion. I know. So then I thought maybe not because of, I knew that being you being a diabetic, it'll be interesting to talk about the vegetables. And since I've recently started trying to, but then I was like, this is a dream menu. Why the dream restaurant? Why am I trying to, you know, think about my glucose levels? Yeah. Um, so it was originally a lot of people were child. I was recently down in Yuki and there was a chowder and in a restaurant right on the culm.

Coast whose name I've forgotten so that's probably a scrapbook but yeah I love a soup I think as a child I used to eat a celery soup a lot and I would put loads of cheddar cheese in it and melt it and then bread and toast and that was like and I'd then drop the bread in and it would become this kind of kinjo mess and bread in soup is just but a good soup like a lobster beast with big lumps of lobster and

I've just said all that. I'm going to order the best asparagus, in season asparagus in the world, cooked like steamed with the best parmesan in the world with olive oil and I

I've got a memory of a... Best olive oil in the world? Best olive oil in the world. Probably from this place I went to in Croatia called Istria, which has like four of the ten best olive oils in the world. Oh, wow. And if you're a foodie, it's amazing. It's a little peninsula on the east coast of Croatia where it borders with Italy. And it's very small, but they have...

Four of the ten best olive oils in the world. And they're also like the truffle capital of the world. So I love the truffle butter. That's going to come from there. That's coming from there. And on top of my asparagus and the best parmesan is just loads and loads of black truffle shavings. And I have a vague memory of a delicious sort of

very sophisticated starter with asparagus and a tiny scotch egg because I feel asparagus and egg and whatever else. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think that gives you that kind of slight meat sharpness. When you say tiny scotch egg, it's like a quail egg? Like a quail scotch. Yeah, but not dry, like, you know, wet, runny, indulgent. I love scotch egg.

Yeah, a hot scotch egg. That could be on the snacks list, actually. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that could be on the snacks list. Fucking ever-growing snacks menu. A tiny scotch egg. A tiny delicious scotch egg with just the most beautiful asparagus with parmesan and maybe some pine nuts. I really like this hack that you've developed, which I don't think anyone's done before, where you don't know where it's from or really what it is, but you just say, the best in the world. Yeah. So...

Best partners out in the world. Where from? Just the best in the world, please. Based on current available data, best one in the world. I mean this in the nicest way possible, James. It's like having a five-year-old on the phone. Best in the world?

I think I was googling on the way here like best balsamic vinegar best asparagus where is the best asparagus from I mean that is great because it is something that we haven't really talked about much on the podcast because it hasn't come up but people are saying like I don't just want it to be a specific one I've had

I want it to be the best in the world. Well, this is the perfection thing again. This is like, you know, I've only got one go at it, unless you have me back. I've only got one go at the Dream Restaurant. Well, you're going to come back and change your order in a couple of months. James grabbed us outside. We're about to go and record an episode with someone else. They're waiting outside now in the hall. Yeah, he's asked to move tables. I love it. We've been recording this for weeks. Keep changing it. No, I think, yeah, like...

it's probably my personality the perfection the perfection project whatever you want to call it and I mean there are like people talk about these kind of ranked things don't they so why not I've got a fucking genie here yeah you've got a fucking genie like that so do you buy what other people say about it so if someone said this is the best restaurant in London would you go and be like yes it was and I'm glad I've been to the best restaurant in London and same with parmesan if someone said this is the best parmesan in the world you'd be like yeah

like yes it is well you eat it i i probably would i would probably um buy into it i mean i haven't eaten all the restaurants in london i have definitely not in all the parmesans yeah so i can't really kind of say whether or not it is or not but i do enjoy um like a ceremony around food as well if someone i don't know much about wine but if someone says to me this is a really nice wine i'll like really enjoy it yeah take your time my time and i like i like the kind i like being with kind of

the sort of what they called like the leaders of a certain discipline yeah the best in the world the pioneers the pioneers the best in the world the virtuosos or whatever they are and so if someone tells me it's the best parmesan I'll believe them and I'll enjoy it and it's you know I'm quite a genie you're a genie I can make it all best asparagus best

best parmesan best olive oil best truffle best salt I've sort of replaced you with God haven't I omnipotent omniscient genie yeah more of a like I don't know what are the angels the seraphim yeah so and I think in line with

the vegetables starter and it's also linked to my main course because I was going to go Bisc and then I was going to go fish but actually I'm sticking with my slightly my scotch egg and my asparagus I think that's nice I think you've got that fibre now we can see if that works later in the meal yeah you've got a scotch egg next to it as well so yeah bit more fun but the reason I was saying I was dreading this is that I've been sitting on Bisc for weeks if you're my friend wash your bath yeah

If you're my, if people close to me will have, I've asked them, can I just go over my menu one more time? And Bisk has been on it for a long, long time. And now here I am. And I was on the way here and I was thinking, I've made a mistake.

So I flipped it and I changed to asparagus. The asparagus is completely rogue. I love asparagus. Yeah, same. Probably top three veg for me, I'd say. That's fair. Absolutely love it. I think at the moment, tender stem brocks probably in there. Yeah.

And I love aubergine, but it doesn't even feel like I should count it in veg. No, it's more of like a main course, isn't it? It's a sponge for sauce. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the other one? That's a good question. I like rocket, but I'm not having it all the time because sometimes too peppery. Avo for me. Love an avo. Avo's good. Artichokes. Sorry. Artichokes for me. Artichokes, yeah. Artichokes are currently number one. Oh, spinach. Spinach.

Steamed, how are you serving it? However. I don't mind steamed. Probably sautéed is probably best if I can get it right and there's not too many liquid coming off it. Not creamed? Not too many liquid coming off it. Yeah. You're not having that? Yeah, no, that's the sentence. Do you not cream your spinach? Not often. Not with a steak and some fries? Cream spinach? I wouldn't probably... I would never make that myself. That's the thing about this guy. And we've all had this with him. We all assume he'd like creamed spinach. Yeah.

I remember discovering for the first time that he doesn't particularly love it as much as I thought he would. And I couldn't compute that. Also, it doesn't add up to everything else about you and what you enjoy. Well, I need something to... If I'm having a particularly rich meal, which I really enjoy, I need some element that's sort of bitter, that it feels like it's cutting through the fat. So normal steamed spinach to me is...

perfect to go with like a big ribeye steak or something. Why do people call you Ed Cream Spinach Scamber? I don't know man because I love spinach. We can't broadcast that story. If I see spinach I cream it's difficult to get mixed up. Yeah the horny alarms going off in his pocket. Hawksmore? Hawksmore Cream Spinach. I was going to say you do love the cream spinach from Hawksmore. Yeah. So that is the exception that proves the rule. Yeah thank you.

So, the Jameses, it's worth mentioning that this week's episode of Off Menu is sponsored by Dexcom, who are all about helping you manage your type 1 and type 2 diabetes with real confidence, which is great timing and a massive coincidence, as it's Diabetes Awareness Week just around the corner. And a huge coincidence, James A., that we have James Norton in as our guest this week. Yes. Massive coincidence. Who is a fellow type 1 diabetic. I am. James A., you're not a diabetic, I assume. I'm not a diabetic, but I'm just happy to... I'm an ally. Yes.

I'm happy to be part of the conversation here. You know, I support you guys. Well, any questions you've got as we discuss Dexcom a little bit more? Yeah. You go for it, man, okay? Okay. No question too stupid. Thank you. We're friends. Well, I'm going to tell you first of all what Dexcom is, James. Because for you... Actually, that is my first question. And a lot of other people listening, it might not mean much,

But for myself and for James N and many other people out there living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes, it's a massive thing, isn't it? It's a game changer. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. Continuous glucose monitoring, which is what Dexcom do, certainly has changed the life of myself and James. So we wear a Dexcom CGM and it's a small skin sensor that measures our glucose every few minutes via a tiny wire beneath the skin, sending readings to our phone through Bluetooth. A bit like RoboCop.

Absolutely incredible. Yeah, we are cyborgs. And we can see our glucose levels when they're heading down or heading up fast or whether we need to act on it and being able to set alerts to let us know whether we're going low or high. For me, absolute game changer when it comes to managing my diabetes. Yeah, for those like James A who are intrigued but ignorant about diabetes, the challenge is to keep good control of your glucose levels and CGM is...

a new technology which has made that so much easier and as a result we sleep better we're less anxious we can have a happier more healthy life so it's pretty big it's it's absolutely massive i mean i i remember when i was diagnosed there certainly wasn't this technology as easily available as it is now no and now it's available on the nhs you can buy it but it is also available in the nhs for some diabetics which is amazing and more and more is being kind of

rolled out and made accessible which is great what it's really helped me do is understand how different things affect my glucose levels yes like exercise and like what i'm eating and you know to a certain extent it's made me go oh it's everything i ever suspected but i've just been ignoring for ages yeah turns out if i eat more nutritionally and more balanced and do loads of exercise then it's much much easier to manage my diabetes

Didn't you tell me once that doing stand-up comedy caused a spike? Yes. Adrenaline. Adrenaline. Massive. I mean, performing with type 1 is an absolute pain sometimes. Yeah. Like, Dexcom has made it way easier because I can just check my levels and then go on stage, do the show, and...

that's fine. But I know you recently did a massive run of a play that was incredibly taxing. I did a four-hour play and I didn't leave the stage once apart for the interval. And I had my Dexcom on the whole time underneath a bandage.

And yeah, I had the little, you can either, the readings can either be sent to your phone or they can send to like a little sort of pager device, which was very small and I kept in my pocket. And all the way through the play, every so often, I'd quickly have a look and then I would act accordingly. I would eat some sugar or I would inject. And it kept my glucose levels so much better. I had one or two minor hypos.

Is that me? Is that yours going off now? I think it might be. This is, this is great. Oh, I'm cute. Um, when you're doing a four hour play, we're doing any play to know what your levels are doing. That's the key for Dexcom. It is as a diabetic, um, awareness and knowledge about your glucose levels is power. And that's how you, uh,

less stressed and you can spend less time thinking about your diabetes and more time thinking about life. And that's what Dexcom gives you. It gives you power. It gives you freedom from diabetes, which is kind of key. Yeah, I mean, I found performing using Dexcom has made

has meant that I don't have any issues on stage because I can see before I go on, I can literally have my phone side of stage. I can see if it's stable, it's going up, going down, act accordingly, and then go on and do the show without worrying about it at all. I mean, there's so many brilliant features connected with the Dexcom. I mean, the alerts, even though I think the alert

that I get of telling me I'm dropping low or going too high lives in my nightmares. It's very, very helpful. Yes, it is helpful. Oh my gosh, because before we had CGM and Ed and I are old enough and have had diabetes long enough to know this, the only thing which would wake you up was a hypo if you were going low. And that is horrible. We would wake up in a sweaty mess, discombobulated, disorientated, scared.

If you're with a partner, it's quite scary for them because often you are, you know, hypos are serious things. You kind of lose your mind a bit. And now, way before that happens, all the dangerous signs kicking in, we get a beep which wakes us up. And since then, my glucose is just more controlled. And so I don't get as many alerts through the night and I sleep so much better. And then your whole life is improved. And that's why you cannot underestimate how much difference changes.

Dexcom gives you in your life. It's huge. Yeah. Those beeps as well. Have you ever been in public and heard someone else you don't know in public, you find out they are using Dexcom as well because you hear the beep come from their phone? Yeah, yeah, of course. Well, I have the added fact that my sister and my mum are all on Dexcom. Of

Of course. Can you imagine, mate? Kitchen table. Genuinely, when it goes off and we're like, who is it? Who is it? Grab the phones. But yeah, again, it's just for all three of us. Once we've established who it is who's being beeped at, it's just our whole family life. We get more sleep. We argue less. I had to interview someone recently, a founder of a company.

who has also given a lot of money to diabetes research because his stepson is diabetic. And we were on stage and I had my phone in my pocket and then the alert went off and I was like, oh, this is so embarrassing. My alert's just gone off. No, it's his phone because he uses the sharing feature on the app. So it means that parents of diabetics can also be hooked up to the sensor so they know if they need to act on something as well. Now...

and I'm aware, Ed, I'm probably teeing myself up here to be absolutely roasted. Are there any stigmas or misconceptions around diabetes that get on both of your nerves? And look, Ed, I've apologised for everything I've ever said. You've done all of them, everything you've ever asked. Oh, no.

You can probably list them off, to be honest. Yes. I think people thinking that you guys can't eat sugar or sweet things at all. Yes. Is the number one. If this was a family fortunes, that would be the number one one that would come up. Do you know how many times I've said I'm on the Off Menu podcast and they go, but can you even have dessert? How are you going to do that course? I'm like, yes, I can. Thank you very much. When it's really annoying for me is when I don't want to have dessert. Oh.

if I decide to not have dessert so then everyone goes of course you can't have dessert it's like no I could if I wanted but sometimes it's too many calculations and I just want to eat a bit of cheese and then people get annoyed with you if you order a cheese board you know well I mean someone in particular I think yeah I'm absolutely annoyed I didn't know it was a hate

crime until now. I got annoyed every single time. I would imagine that people not knowing that they're two different types is annoying as well. People just kind of like lump everyone together and don't like appreciate that everyone's got their own journey, their own story. Yeah, there's a slight confusion, I think, between type one and type two. And Ed and I are both type one. Type one is autoimmune and we don't produce any insulin. Type two is a more sliding scale.

Yeah. They might be producing insulin, but the insulin sensitivity is way down, so it might not be doing its job. Yes, exactly. But of course, people who have type 1 and type 2 can both benefit from Dexcom. Am I right, guys? Absolutely. Yeah. Dexcom's waterproof. Yes. Yeah, there you go. Oh yeah, that's another misconception. The misconception that if you have these discs, your life is in some way limited, things like swimming or...

or running or exercise, you know, people are like, how do you live with that thing? But it's weird. You put it on every 10 days and it stays on there and you don't really think about it at all. And does it really hurt having something underneath your skin? It doesn't at all. No, not at all. I forget about it all the time. Yeah. And it's rock solid as well. Mine doesn't move. Where are you rocking your sensor? I generally wear mine on my midriff on my stomach. What about you? Where do you wear yours? I'm back of arm. You're back of arm? Every single time. Are you? Yeah.

I found if I stick it just below the tricep, it really pops those bad boys out. That's true. Yeah, that's really good, actually. So, a big thanks to Dexcom for sponsoring this week's episode. But before we take a break, worth mentioning that Dexcom CGMs mean that you can see how your body responds to different food, exercise and also medication at different times of the day and that you're able to spot patterns.

Without CGM, this can be difficult to understand. But with Dexcom, you'll learn what's right for your body, adapting only what's necessary. If you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, we highly recommend you take a look online at dexcom.com. What a great website. Wow.

and request a free Dexcom One Plus sample. Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online. Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations. Talk to your doctor for diabetes management. Terms and conditions and terms of use apply. And we'll be right back.

So this dream main course that you've picked to tee yourself up with the asparagus. So this is where I flipped and flopped for a long time. I couldn't think what I wanted. And then I realized what I wanted. But then it was like that throws BISC into complete chaos. It's gone. Because it was fish. I want to fish. I knew I want to fish. And the reason I was veering away from this is because this is what I cook for people a lot. Especially in the summer. I love barbecuing. I have a big...

I have a big gas grill. I have a big wood grill as well. Exactly the same person. You should come round to my house. Yes, please. I love the same house. Walk in, everything looks exactly the same. Charlie says hi to you. What the hell?

I love grilling. Grilling, grilling, grilling. And I love flame grill stuff particularly. And I love in the summer grilling fish. So...

I'd love, if you're okay with this, to take me to a beach because I would like to be sitting on a beach for main course. And someone is grilling, wood grill, wood flame, fish. And it could be a halibut steak would be great. Some prawns, some big prawns, maybe some scallops. And it's like paper tablecloths, sun setting,

And I'm just getting in there with my hands and I'm cracking the prawns and I'm, you know, that's my mate. Maybe with the salsa, maybe like a mango or something. Some fruit-based salsa, lime and really well seasoned, but incredibly fresh. Yeah, I love this. Delicious. Yeah, really good. Yeah, that's fantastic. Can't argue with that. Halibut steak as well, I don't think we've had. Yeah. We've had that, have we? Sorry. It's so ironic that we're doing a diabetic episode.

Yeah, I need to sort that out. That's fine. It'll stop beeping in a second. Yeah, fish. Do feel free to take a pause to give you time to put in the thing that keeps you alive. It keeps me alive. You know I love that, don't you? Yeah, no, it'll be fine. It'll stop. Barbecued fish. Yes. One of the best things in the world. And when people come around to my house in the summer, I've moved house recently and one of the big things for me was building an outdoor kitchen. So I've got like a sink, wood planks,

wood barbecue gas barbecue it's pretty amazing yeah you should come and see and then I will barbecue various bits of fish with some halloumi I'll do a rice this is what I would have for you at my house I'll do a rice full of seeds so lots of pumpkin and sunflower seeds I think if I had to choose one ingredient I use the most in my life it's sunflower and pumpkin seeds toasted really yeah everything every meal savoury or sweet

porridge, puddings, starter soups, salads, everything. I just eat, I love toasted seeds. Do you have like a dispenser? I don't, I just do have, you know, in the spice drawer with your salt and pepper or like, you know, your sort of essentials in there, my pumpkin seeds and my sunflower seeds. So I have them in my rice with some like

And then I'll have a mango salsa with lime and avocado and tomatoes and a bit of chili. And that with grilled fish, but just good fish. Don't do too much to it. A bit of lemon, salt, pepper. I don't want to make this whole episode too diabetic, but how often are you eating porridge and how do you handle it? Oh, is that a thing? I don't do it. I don't do it anymore. I just can't do it. No. I start my breakfast, again, fiber. Yeah. I do vegetables and eggs. Yeah, I'm no carb in the morning because porridge...

It's mad. It's mad. And I think this is not just for us as well. This is people. I think there's a misconception about porridge being really healthy. Being the healthiest thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight up, almost like I can see on my Dexcom, like glucose levels straight up, no matter how much insulin I give for it, can never stop that spike.

And then almost an hour later, straight down. Interesting. Straight down. Oblivion. Oblivion. Okay. Yeah. I used to eat porridge when I was at drama school and I used to cycle like a crazy person from, from green lanes down to central London. And I used to have porridge every morning, um,

me and my then partner would really went to town on porridge like pomegranate seeds seeds lots of seeds um all sorts of fruit and again I would shoot but then on the cycle ride yeah yeah similar thing plummet I think the interesting because we talk a lot about um

GI index as diabetics. Well, we don't actually. We should. But we think about what is complex carbs and what isn't. And porridge is often sort of the ultimate complex carbohydrate where it's meant to be a very slow rise and then a slow decline. And therefore it's healthy. I agree with you. It is kind of nonsense. So what do you think of the three bears story? Realistically, is she eating porridge and then having a nap in that bed?

Probably because that's what happens when you have the crash. So that's okay, she's had the crash. That makes total sense to me. I think it's plausible. She might be type 1 Goldilocks. Well, whoever wrote it clearly knows about that. We can finally understand what that story's about. Is she asleep or is she just hypo-ing really badly? It doesn't explain why the bears live in a house. Does she get eaten by the bears? I think there's different endings. I think traditionally she just legs it out the house because they scare her.

But then there are other endings where they eat. I'm just thinking if her glucose levels are high. I often think I get eaten by mosquitoes more readily because my... Oh, really? Because you're like a delicious sweet treat? Do you think so? Yeah, maybe. I very rarely get bitten by mosquitoes. Well, then let's disprove the rule. Maybe your glucose levels. Yeah, maybe. Not on a holiday though, mate. It's all over the place. Yeah, it's true. They should be feasting on me. That's true. Insulin doesn't work as well in hot countries. Yeah. A nightmare. Really? Ugh, just came back from Jamaica. Ugh. What? Nightmare. I'm learning a lot.

Yeah. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

There I was worried about lobster beasts being bougie. Look, it's going well, man. Everything's going well. Yeah, good on you, man. All you had to do was kick that little girl or whatever it was. Well, that sounds delicious. I think like freshly barbecued fish on the beach. Also, knowing you. Best fish ever. Best fish ever, but best beach ever? Best beach ever. Yeah. Have you got a best beach ever in mind? Well, I was very, very, very fortunate to have

gone to Jamaica recently I was you know incredibly lucky it was very rare it was a dream it was a real dream once in a lifetime never been probably never go back and that was pretty good so maybe Jamaica Jamaica Beach I'll take a beach in Jamaica Goldeneye run by Chris Blackwell who I played in a movie about Bob Marley I

he has an incredible hotel called Golden Eye which is where Ian Fleming wrote all the Bond films and where masses of like artists and musicians have been and still go because he ran he founded Island Records and a lot of people would play music and go and record out there including Bob Marley and Talking Hands all these great great artists anyway that is a paradise food is a

And he is a great man and a wonderful host. And see, I'll take that. I'll take that beach and golden. But can I just finish very quickly? Sorry. I just want to make sure my meals. Yeah, no, this is great. Every time we go off on a jokey tangent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But anyway, seriously. This isn't the best yet. Please. I know. I was suddenly really worried that we were going to jump to... No, don't worry. Well, actually, you're about to ask me about my side dish, aren't you? No, I was about to say...

I'll never get tired of the joke Jamaica no she went of her own accord yeah but you go and say what you Jamaica no she went of her own accord it's always funny it was one of those old old jokes that always makes me laugh I went to Jamaica with my wife really Jamaica no she went of her own accord that is good clean fun did you just say I went to Jamaica with my wife Jamaica no she went of her own accord because you've got that joke very wrong isn't that right yeah

No, you can't say Jamaica twice in it. It's someone else answering. It's someone else answering it. I went to Jamaica with my wife. Jamaica? It's not. I went to the Caribbean. Really, Jamaica? I went to the Caribbean with my wife. Jamaica. No, she went of her own accord. Oh, yes, that's better. Because why would the person who's already said Jamaica misunderstand Jamaica? No, it wasn't. They were checking. They're going, oh, really, Jamaica? Yeah, yeah, Jamaica. That's how that conversation would go.

I went to Jamaica with my wife. Jamaica, the island in the Caribbean. We had a lovely time. Why are you getting so angry? Ruin the joke. We can all be perfectionists, mate. Check your phone. What's it saying?

I was going to ask, was the hotel called GoldenEye? Before or after Ian Fleming wrote the books? I think it was before. Really? He named it after. And Chris's mum was the main influence behind Pussy Galore. Wow. What? I just don't know. I was like, that's impressive. And then I was thinking, I don't know if I'd be all right with that. It's not great for the schoolyard, is it? It's got a character that's based on you.

what's her name um oh I don't want to spoil the surprise wait for the book to come out well no in the book she was called Fanny Everywhere

actually to be fair a more convincing name yeah a more realistic name yeah Hussie Galore I can't see it that's the first time I heard that that was someone a character's name you're fucking kidding me I say it and I think have I mixed up James Bond and Austin Powers yeah yeah is it like that calm

be what the character is called I know it was though yeah it was I had one of the best meals I've ever had in Jamaica Rio Grande if you go GoldenEye honestly it's the best place in the world food's amazing etc but there's a river you can go called the Rio Grande nearby near Port Antonio and halfway down there's a lady called Belinda who has like a shack and she cooks

the best jerk, chicken, rice, peas, and you're on the side of a river and you've just rafted down with someone on like a huge bamboo thing and you're having the best life. It's the best thing ever. Amazing. That sounds so good. I was almost going to regurgitate that meal, but then I thought I've had it. So,

Don't regurgitate that meal. We avoid the word regurgitate on the podcast in general. We say we do. A lot of disgusting things have come up on this podcast. Lobster bisque. It's mainly my fault. So are you okay for us to move on to the side dish now? Yes, I am. Are you sure? Yes, I am. Because my salsa is not part of the side dish, is it? Because it has to have fruit. No, no, that's part of the mango salsa. You're all right.

I thought that's all in the bag you know I'm not genuinely traumatised by this I mean you guys have now turned it into you do keep going I'm having a lot of fun yeah we'll just get back to you a second ago you very urgently said please don't move on please no I'm just fine do you know what I'm relaxing it's good for us it's good for us to have a guest who cares about their menu in all honesty it's when guests don't care about it that it's hard it's a bit harder this is great no I care

Your dream side dish, James? Okay, so I'm a big salads man. Again, fiber, greens, but simple. Green, lettuce, bit of avo maybe, lots of seeds, some pine nuts probably toasted, all toasted, and really well dressed. And that will be alongside fries. And with my fries, I want ketchup and vinegar. And I also, sorry, ketchup, mayonnaise, a little bit. Probably won't use the mayonnaise. We'll use all the ketchup. Mayonnaise has to be there just in case. Okay.

And the key thing for me in this whole meal is the vinegar on the fries. Because once you've got that like salsary fishy juice at the bottom and the fries are there and you've doused them in vinegar. In general, all meals are improved by a little bit of vinegar. I think balsamic vinegar is probably my third most used ingredient.

I'm not putting balsamic on my chips, malt vinegar. But that for me is, yeah. You need the vinegar. I need the vinegar on my chips. And I've realized, actually I grew up in North Yorkshire. I was in the North recently. And I said to the table that, I'm so sorry, do you mind if I have some vinegar on my chips? And they're like, are you fucking kidding me? You're in the North. That's absolutely fine. We love our vinegar. And I realized that it's because I grew up in North Yorkshire. I love vinegar on my chips. But I went to the ham yard today. I had some fries with my lunch.

said, can I have some vinegar, please? I think the guy went out and bought some. Really? It took about 10 minutes. He came out with an absolutely fresh, you know, one of those kind of lovely malt. I guess vinegar on fries to me seems unusual. I think chip shop chips, loads of vinegar, loads of salt. But fries, yeah. Which is weird because I love salt and vinegar on my chips. But I think when you say fries, you're probably being very specific.

you're being rightfully pedantic about the very thin kind of American fry. I think I'm thinking somewhere in between a sort of thin McDonald's fry and a chunky chip. What is that? A chip. Chip, I guess. A standard pub chip. Yeah. But I don't want it to be thick. But you don't want it to be too thin. Well, yeah. Yeah. And if I don't get it right, I'm going to combust and run into the sea with the genie. You would like the perfect chip.

The best one in the world, please. Yeah, best one in the world. The most perfectly sized chip in the world for you. Lots of them. Yeah, yeah, lots of them with vinegar and salt and ketchup on the side and mayonnaise, but you probably won't use the mayonnaise. It's there just in case. Yes. This is what I'm fascinated by. Please. In what situation would you have to bring out, use the emergency mayonnaise?

This will not happen because this is the dream restaurant. But if there was an issue with like sauce and lubricants, then the mayonnaise is there as a sort of backup. I think it's probably because generally what I do is when they say, do you want any condiments? I say, yes, please. Ketchup, mayonnaise and vinegar. And then I just...

and they go oh you like condiments I say yes I do I like all the condiments and if it's me I'll have mustard as well so it's just a need to have all bases covered which again is probably a metaphor for my life in some weird way I love this so it's more of a security condiment the mayonnaise is there to make you feel comfortable yeah and then probably at the end of the meal I'll go oh I didn't touch poor mayonnaise and I'll probably just do one fry just to make you feel sorry for the mayonnaise well I just want you know it's completely left out

And also I feel a bit embarrassed that I ordered the mayonnaise and didn't use it. It looks a bit, you know, titled. I think this episode is the most we've ever had an insight into the way a guest thinks through their menu.

The perfection thing is huge, but just then, poor mayonnaise. Poor, poor mayonnaise. Do you not talk to things? No, not to the condiments. You know, I might speak to a holiday home when I'm leaving it for the last time. I might turn around and be like, see you later. Mayonnaise is... I don't want to look too wasteful. And I'm also a real stickler for finishing my meal. So then there's a big...

But I just want the bases covered. How do you deal with that with barbecues? Because I will, even if I'm just barbecuing for me and my wife, which I will do regularly, just like during COVID, I've said this before, five times a week barbecuing. Same, every meal. Every meal. Just look at me like that. Yeah, roll his eyes. And I always do too much. So, yeah. You and I are the cut from the same cloth. I will be like, if it's an evening barbecue,

At like 10 o'clock, my wife would be like, I'm going to go and do something else now. Because I'll just be like sat there in the dark outside eating a steak. Just trying to finish the wine and eat all the meat. Did you have the problem over the lockdown and just generally in life where I always over cater? I think I've said this to many friends. I think I have a previous life as like some prison chef because I'm unable to cook for the quantity of people I'm having. I always over cater.

And then the next day when you're on a rolling barbie, which I was also in lockdown, because me and my then partner had the best lockdown because we didn't have kids. We had a garden. Our fishmonger was open. The butcher was open. We could get nice natural wine with it. And we would just like listen to albums. But barbecuing, it was, sorry, I should caveat this with, I know that lockdown was horrendous for many, but I was lucky enough to have a pretty good time. And a lot of it was to do with food. My problem was that I would always cook too much.

and then the following day you've got like the leftovers of the previous day or you can cook a new barbecue. It's always a new barbecue. It's always a new barbecue. Yeah, yeah. And then you are getting wasteful. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I'd probably still eat that. Still eat that. Wouldn't I chuck it all up and put it in a salad? Yeah, it's true. Yeah. I'm good at doing that. It's great.

Using up leftovers. Yeah, it is resourceful. It'll be like, right, if anything, I think you're delighted that it's like, great, now I've got another meal that I can suss out. Yeah, I also do. Yeah, I'm good at, yeah, it's true actually. I like leftovers for the lunch or the little nibble, like midnight nibble. Ed, you've got to come around for barbecue. I'm there. I'm coming around. Sometimes when I order takeaways, I'll order like an extra thing that I don't need and it will usually be the green thing. Yeah. I won't eat it. And then over the days, I've stored those up for me to take away and then make a mega salad.

Do you? That's a mega salad. It's a great idea. Put them all in a thing. The idea, I did it the other day with broccoli from Sticks and Sushi with the artichoke Caesar salad from Mildred's. And there's one other thing, I think it's some asparagus, but it's

altogether at once. Yeah. Absolutely loved it. That's really interesting to me. I find it harder to keep leftovers on takeaways than I do leftovers of my own. Regularly, if I'm in London for a week and I know that I'm going to be in a few nights, which is annoyingly rare at the moment because I feel so busy, but when that has happened, I'll either make a massive soup at the beginning of the week or a massive salad and it will accompany all my meals for the rest of the week. Sometimes it'll be the whole meal. Salad, three, four, five days, you know,

if it looks fine great a leftover takeaway I find really I think it's because I didn't cook it I don't like it I have to eat the takeaway on the day I keep it and then I'll probably eat this tomorrow and then I always throw it away I like it the day after is good the other day I had loads of leftovers from a really nice Chinese meal actually and I just had leftovers on toast the next day nice anything on toast lovely just respect him

I respect him so much I'll look up to him that was so touching he just says some things I'm like what a great idea he's put it on toast yeah let's rewind that idea was putting something on toast leftovers on toast James has melted he can't see this that's what I'm talking about tell you something else I had on toast the other day watch out

Peanut butter, so far so standard. And then Laugenmar crispy chili oil drizzled on the top. It's just like having satay, satay on toast essentially.

James has passed out. Crispy chili oil is the best thing in the world. I know what that is. Lao Gan Ma. It's just a type of chili oil, but it's the... Sweet one? No, no, no. It's like in a big jar. The oil's great, but it's the crispy bits of chili and shallot and garlic in there. And I can eat that like yogurt. It's amazing. Again, something we share. I should have...

kicking myself oh no oh no James has run out of the building Tabasco chilli sauce every restaurant you've got any chilli you've got any hot so with the fish with the chips you know I'm racking up my condiments but chilli unless it was cooked really but spice I love love love spice yeah I feel like you're marinating some of that fish I think you are a bit of chilli if I have some Tabasco on the table

But with that, at the end, if you haven't used any of it, you go, oh, sorry, Tabasco, and then just glug it for the rest. Do you know, I carry Tabasco everywhere I go. I love it. Because of work, filming particularly, food can be good. I'm sure you guys have experienced this on the road. It's like hit and miss. Tabasco will improve anything. And so I poached eggs in the morning with my vegetable and my eggs, Tabasco, and then lunch. Yeah, I love it.

I used to do that with Sriracha. I had one of the key ring bottles of Sriracha. You could get a bottle of Sriracha on a carabiner. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sriracha on a carabiner and then hook it on your keys, hook it on your belt and then I burnt myself out on Sriracha. James went to the carabiner recently. Jamaica? Yes. Yes, Jamaica.

Yeah, Sriracha, I just burnt myself out on it though. But you now can't have any more Sriracha? Nah. I'm not a Sriracha guy anymore. Sriracha. There's a word in there, isn't there? She won't ever own a cord.

Your dream drink, James. So... Bisk? Is this the place for the bisk? Oh, the ultimate hack. First the lobster bisk and the dream drink. Cold mug of M&S bisk, please. Regurgitated. No, I think what I will... I don't know much about wine, but I love it. So I'll have a...

I think I'm going to have a natural white, but like with a little frizzante, you know, the kind of, because with the fish is what I basically, this is like my lockdown. I had this a lot because I live, lived in Peckham and there was lots of bougie. It's awful, isn't it? But that kind of live in that echo chamber and there were natural wine shops. Echo chamber. Echo chamber. Yeah. Very good. Very good. This is what I'm talking about. I don't know. I'm just...

On all cylinders. One second, he's throwing out a good idea for how to do your leftovers. Then he's got an amazing pun up his sleeve. It's unreal. What you guys can't see is that these two are holding hands right now. Really cute. I wish you would. There's a wine, it's called Casa something. It's got like a spiral on the front. It's not that expensive, but...

I know the one you mean. I can't remember the name of it. I drank loads of it in lockdown as well. Yeah, everyone was drinking it. It's along with the chin chin, but it's a bit wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the calcarius was the other one that everyone was... Is that right? Calcarius, yeah. One of those with it, I think, really cold, crisp, natural wine. Yeah, it's a pet gnat, isn't it? Yeah, it is. Bianco Frisanti. Bianco Frisanti is what? What's the name of the producer? Casabelfi. Casabelfi, Bianco Frisanti. Yeah, a lovely pet gnat, delicious. Crisp, crisp.

Cuts through the oil of the fish. Just, yeah, a bottle of that, I think. I did burn myself out on natural wine, though. Did you? I sound like a complete tosser here. No, go on. Because of lockdown. Because we've got a really good shop nearest that does just natural wine. Yeah. And I was drinking a lot of it. And what I found was you find a favourite with natural wine and you go and buy another bottle that's from like a different year or the next year. And it's completely different because they don't have any way...

of maintaining the taste of the wine because it's so different every year. They're so at the mercy of the elements. Which is, I don't mind that because what I get really intimidated by with wine is not knowing anything. And therefore going into a natural wine shop, I'm just like, what do you reckon is good? This is my price point. How about me eating fish? I'm going to be on a beach with a genie. And then they give me whatever's good rather than what is...

what I know to be good. I think that sort of stuff I think you can guarantee is going to be pretty much good across the board. But I was going into this natural wine shop and being like, what's the weirdest thing you've got? And it was stuff that just basically tasted like a farmyard floor. The funk. And loads of sediment at the bottom of it as well. If you pour more than two glasses, you've got to just keep an eye on what's happening with the bottle because you just end up with a

Mouthful of gravel. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I think we're on the same page. I'm sort of, yeah, recently trying to be a little bit more traditional. But, yeah, as I say, don't know much about wine, really like it, especially the natural one with this particular meal. So do you want that? Do you want the Casabelfi one? Yeah, why not? Yeah, great. Please. Casabelfi's fun to say. I mean...

there's part of me, the idiot in me, going, well, that's not the best wine in the world. I can tell. We've got to chat about some stuff, James. You can't just say, best wine in the world, and we go, right, yeah, move on. Best pudding in the world! Thanks for coming on, James. We've never done that before. That's why you use Dexcom. Best in the world. Yes, it is.

So we arrive at your dream dessert. Oh, yeah. It's going to be the best in the world. We know that. It's going to be perfect. It is. This is like you're at the end of the meal now. You've had this perfect meal. Yeah. So the perfect way to round it off to end the meal.

Well, I'm a diabetic, so unfortunately I cannot have dessert. Yes! Finally, someone admits it. I know it! Yeah, no, I've looked at my Dexcom and I've realised that my glucose levels are... Actually, preferably, they're going down a bit. Yeah. That's the joy. That's the joy. Yeah, yeah. It just times out perfect. Not only am I going to have dessert, I need it.

Yeah, exactly. I need it quick. Five minutes, please. Oh my gosh. This is funny. I went to the GQ Man of the Year Awards. Congratulations. Did you win? I did not win. I'm not a man of the year, but I was there to support the men of the year and the women of the year. Nicole Kidman was one of them. I don't quite got the nuance of that title quite yet. Nicole Kidman was honored. Who else? Cole Palmer, Jude Law, a few others. Anyway, and I went into the meal and

And the other thing about diabetics, diabetes, which Ed, you all know and we're all encouraged to do, is administer our insulin via pump or injection, whichever way you choose, early, like 20 minutes before the meal is suggested. Never done it. Never done it, always on the meal. Especially if you're out, because you don't know when it's going to come, right? I've been trying to do this more and more. I've been really disciplining myself, because it does help your glucose levels. It means you don't spike so much.

I don't understand how non-diabetics work. You can't anticipate the food, can you? We were encouraged to do it early. I went into the GQ Manly Awards and I did my insulin thinking that we were about to have a starter. It's a fashion dinner. The starters smoked trout with no carbohydrate and no bread. I know, I was fuming at that point. And also a little bit concerned because then they started these speeches saying,

And then Jude did a speech. And then Nicole did a speech. And then my GQ editor did a speech. Cut to me. Your phone's going crazy. No, I'm worse. I'm like dripping with sweat. I'm on the high table and it's sitting opposite Nicole Kidman. And I'm like, and there are cameras everywhere. And if I stand up, it's going to be, you know, it's really rude. Eventually I'm like, I'm going to pass out. So I have to go and have to go and speak to someone. So I went to someone who's like running around, you know, one of the waiters and said,

I'm diabetic, you need to help me, I need some orange juice really quickly please, because I didn't have any sugar with me for some stupid reason. They gave me some orange juice. I didn't realise that that then caused pandemonium to break loose. So then I went and sat back down. Because then they don't really know what that means. They just heard someone say, I'm diabetic and I need orange juice. I knew sugar, but also I think I was looking really ill at this point. And also I'd put the insulin in for the whole meal, so I needed a lot of carbs. So anyway, then they bring me a chocolate bar from Pret, and then, mid-speeches, they bring me a huge bowl of steaming potatoes.

Someone backstage has cooked me a bowl of potatoes. At which point, everyone down the table is going, why? She's had a chocolate bar and then a bowl of potatoes. In the middle of the speech as well. I just look like a glutton. A potato-loving fiend. A weird one. A really weird one as well. And of course, you can't interrupt the speech and go, sorry, excuse me, I'm a diabetic. Explain. Tap in the side of the potato bowl. Do-do-do-do-do.

All you men of the year. So yeah, it's a little fraught when you're eating, actually. You can't time the meal exactly. So you didn't have any dextrose or anything with you to... I did not. If I did, it wasn't going to be enough because I'd loaded up for the whole meal. Was that as well because you were wearing a nice suit and you didn't want to ruin the line of your suit? You know it. Because it's so annoying. It's so annoying. On the rare occasion that I have to wear something nice and fancy, which is very rare...

I'm like, "You look quite nice actually." And then I go, "I'm diabetic, I've got to bring a sack full of stuff with me." It's true! Can't put it in my pocket because it looks weird and then you end up taking a little satchel with me. I know! I had a little man bag for a long time. Having said that, with Dexcom, that has been made a hell of a lot easier because I used to have to carry around insane paraphernalia. We'd also have to carry around a pouch which was the more traditional form of testing your glucose levels.

That is no longer the case because I have my phone with me anyway. So Dexcom has genuinely made me more chic. Yeah.

There you go. You can't ask for more than that. And I wasn't. It's nice to see Ed get into bond with someone over these things. I've never seen it before. I've never got to see it. It's nice. It's a new man. It's nice to see you've both got these stories. You're like, yeah, I've been there. When we first met, I don't think you were diagnosed yet, were you? No. Because that would have been 2005, I think. And weirdly...

For someone who hasn't got a great memory, I remember exactly where we met. You obviously had a big impression on me. Oh, do you know what it was? Was it when you were working? No, it was in the Mitre. Oh, okay. In Cambridge. Yeah, yeah. And you were just on a show. And do you know the reason I remember is because someone told me that you were diabetic. And my sister had been diagnosed and we had a conversation about it.

It was good. You got to see me at a time in life where I absolutely was not focusing on it at all. I do remember when we met in the mitre because it was the pre the smoking ban. And I remember the conversation we had about my sister's diabetes. And I was thinking, oh, it's great. Diabetes can lead a completely normal life. Because you had a pint of beer and a fag. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, those were the days.

entire birthday cake in the other hand you were living your best life yeah or not I feel a lot better now I'm sure you look great I do feel a lot better so this is sorry sorry so yeah my glucose levels are just dipping nicely genuinely don't love overly sweet things not because of the diabetes but because I love more bitter things I'm a chocolate fiend I always have chocolate with me it's usually 80% sometimes 90% I have a

a chocolate drawer in my house. I have a production company. Was that Lancashire's idea or your idea? No, it's actually not Lancashire's idea. You've got to get a chocolate drawer. You set fire to yourself. Thanks, Lancashire. Any final words? Yeah. Your bar of 80% melting in your pocket. Oh, fuck! Oh, no! Someone get the bar! Oh!

Yeah, I have a chocolate drawer and I have all different types of chocolate in there. I have like the lighter dairy ones for the guests. But for me, it's like 80%, 85% or 85 or 90. And I have 99% there. I love it. So my dessert will be like a sort of chocolate mousse, but thick, not too much air in it.

With 80% minimum cocoa and a little bit of chilli. Nice. A little chilli flavour. Maybe even like those sort of husks chocolate, you know, like a sort of kernel or husk, whatever they're called. Like the cacao nibs. Yeah, the cacao nibs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gives it a bit of texture. Yeah. A bit of crunch. And then with it, a sweeter, like a vanilla gelato or ice cream. And then again, like a kind of coulis, like a raspberry fruit sort of, a bit more bitter.

Bitter. Cuts through the, yeah, sweetness. This is good. Bitterness, little bit of sweetness. Little bit of sweetness, yeah. I went through a real cacao nib phase. Did you? Yeah, big time. Bought a whole sack of them, basically. Did you? The actual nibs? Yeah, straight on yogurt with raspberries. Really good. Is it? That's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were eating them on your own as well. Oh, yeah. That sounds fantastic. Yeah, really dark. And like big and, you know, like somewhere between a mousse and a,

yeah. I don't know. You know what I mean? Yeah. Almost like, it's almost not a mousse. It's almost like a kind of not ice cream, ice cream. It's almost like a cremeux. Cremeux. You guys, this is what you are good at, is knowing the words. And can I have, can I have a coffee please with it? Yeah. Yes. I'd love, I'd love an Americano with some extra hot egg milk, please. Absolutely. No problem. That's my coffee order. I sometimes think, I'm,

I'm the guy who has a coffee at the end of a meal and then I realise I'm the guy who has an espresso martini at the end of a meal. Well, I was going to say, am I allowed a grappa as well? Yeah. I keep asking, I'm allowed, and you're like, yeah. We love hearing this kind of stuff, to be honest. And also, I want something, there's something specific about the dessert, which is that if I'm ordering a coffee with the dessert,

I have to specify often in the restaurant. So I'm going to specify for you guys, please can they come at the same time? Or the coffee just fractionally after the dessert to wash it out. But often you order the coffee and the dessert at the same time. They bring the coffee. It's either cold or you finished it and then the dessert comes. And then it's just like, it drives me insane. Especially with the chocolate dessert. There's nothing I like more than eating some chocolatey dessert and then a sip of coffee that washes the inside of the mouth out. And then you're making mouth mocker. They were meant to be together. Yeah.

Like James and Ed, they were meant to be. And then the grappa after, as a dessert to deceive. Lovely. I'm in a big affogato phase at the minute. Are you? If I see it on the menu, I'm like, well, that's my decision made. I don't have to decide on a dessert and a coffee. I'll just have that. Do you worry about the caffeine though? Here I am saying a coffee because I'm on a dream menu and I'm on a beach. I really got on top...

I've had you know big into coffee recently it's a recent thing for me definitely was noticing the effects it was having on my system as the day went on I was like I feel like I'm vibrating I need to go on top of this

about a month and a half ago I just completely cut it out wasn't doing it at all for a few weeks went to America for a bit started having one every third day whatever got back from America had jet lag went well I need to drink it all the time and now I'm back just to that's it I'm not having two or three a day two or three a day and I need to I need to rein it in again but it's not the time for people listening we're recording this in December absolutely

absolutely the worst time to go i am now going to get on top of anything yeah drinking too much caffeine drinking in general desserts all that stuff this is not the time to get on top of it no it's the time to ramp it up i mean you're back to you now see how you feel about it you like sparkling water definitely you want steaming hot sourdough with salted butter truffle butter and the genie's choice of butter i'm choosing that marmite butter that i had once delicious triple butter you were like a snacks hack

That is 12 oysters from Colonsay. Colonsay. And you want some smoked almonds on the table as well. Glutton. You want the best steamed asparagus in the world with the best parmesan in the world, best olive oil in the world, best pine nuts in the world and a tiny scotch egg.

Main course. So weird. Such a weird addition. A wood flame grilled halibut steak, prawns, scallops and fruity salsa and lime on the beach, on the best beach in Jamaica that you've ever been to. Thank you. Side dish. You would like a salad with lettuce, avocado, seeds, your favourite, pine nuts and you would like fries with ketchup, mayo, just in case, vinegar and Tabasco, your drink. You would like a Casabalfi Bianco Frisante.

Your dessert, you would like chocolate mousse. Well, kind of a mousse. Maybe, what would you say? A cremeux, maybe. A cremeux, maybe. At least 80% cocoa with chilli, cow nibs, vanilla gelato and raspberry coulis. And you would like the coffee to come out at the same time and grappa.

as well fuck yeah I feel good about that yeah when you go into back into the office and you talk to the people you've been talking about this podcast to are you going to say I did it I nailed it I feel great yeah I feel like I had my shot and you know

I delivered. Well, that sounded... On the way home, I guarantee you, you're not going to feel like that. No, of course. As soon as I step out of this restaurant, I'm going to be calling both of you with frantic texts saying, I can't have the... The word beast over and over again texted to us. Thanks for coming to the Dream Restaurant, James. It's been an absolute pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Well, there we are, James. A wonderful chat with James Norton. I love that menu. Yeah. And he should be proud of that menu and happy with it. I hope he's able to sleep tonight and isn't just thinking about what he should have had. It was as close to perfection as one can get. Yes. Because we should always remember, perfection is impossible. Perfection is impossible. So do not beat yourself up. You're always striving for perfection. Don't beat yourself up, guys. Don't beat yourself up. Just do the best you can. Just do the best you can. You don't have to be perfect.

know is perfect. And it should also, that's genuinely a tenet that I have to remind myself of with glucose levels in diabetes. Yeah. Perfection is impossible. Something will always come along. You just got to roll with the punches. And of

And of course, today's episode was in partnership with Dexcom. And if you or someone you know is living with type 1 or type 2 diabetes and you like the sound of Dexcom, you can take a look online at Dexcom.com and request a free Dexcom One Plus sample. Dexcom sensors are available on the NHS for some people living with diabetes and also are available to buy online. Always read the user manual for important product aspects and limitations.

Talk to your doctor for diabetes management. Terms and conditions and terms of use apply. And I always say that at the end of an episode. Yes, it's a common catchphrase of the podcast. I get shouted at me in the street. It's not even my catchphrase. Terms and conditions and terms of use apply, they say. Yeah, that's it, that's it, not me. Or bread.

Also, what we've been told to say by the people at Dexcom is that James Norton did not choose a Nature Valley bar. Yes. So that means we are not going to kick him out of the restaurant. Yeah, correct. Look, James Norton has a wonderful body of work which you must all go and watch immediately. Yes, even though we kind of semi-spoil the end of Happy Valley for you, but just forget what we were riffing on and just watch it with a fresh mind. Yes, absolutely. See you next time, guys. Bye-bye.

Hello, I'm Harriet Kemsley. And I'm Amy Gledhill. You might remember us from our off-menu episodes. For example, when I was on there, I talked about seaweed in mash and James and Ed rang my mum. And I talked about how I had a phobia of bananas and somebody has added it to my Wikipedia page. Thank you. LAUGHTER

But we've not come on here to tell you about bananas and seaweed. We've come to tell you about our podcast, Single Ladies In Your Area. Me and Amy found ourselves single in our 30s and had to go back into the dating landscape. And it's hard of a harriet because if anyone Googles her and finds her Wikipedia, they know she's phobic of bananas.

They think, what a freak. It's even worse if they listen to the whole episode. People have described it as batshit. But in Single Ladies in Your Area, we get on experts to tell us what we should be doing. We're learning from experts. We're learning from friends. We're learning from comedians and people all over the bloody shop. That's Single Ladies in Your Area, out every Friday, wherever you get your podcasts.