Super Soul Special: Shawn Achor, Part 1: The Secrets of Happy People
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Bestselling author Sean Acor says that while many of us believe we're either born happy or not, his research has proven that we all have the power to become happier people. Born in Waco, Texas in 1978 to an English teacher mom and a neuroscientist dad, it looked like Sean was going to follow in his father's footsteps from an early age.

After high school, Sean left home to attend Harvard on a military scholarship. And after studying religion as an undergrad, he was inspired to continue his studies at Harvard's Divinity School. There, he became fascinated with the big questions in life: why we love, why we wake up in the morning, and how we discover meaning and purpose.

he was introduced to an emerging field called positive psychology, which simply put is the study of happiness. Sean was hooked and was tapped to help develop and teach the most popular class at Harvard, known on campus as the happiness class. Today, Sean travels the world training people and professionals on how to rewire their brains to become more positive.

He is the author of four books, including the bestsellers The Happiness Advantage and his latest, Before Happiness. What began as an experimental college course is now at the heart of Sean's inspiring work.

When I heard that there was a course at Harvard-- not just a course, but the most popular course at Harvard-- and it was on happiness, I was saying, gosh, I would either like to be in that class or teach that class. And you were one of the teachers of that class. I got to be both, right? Yes.

incredible. We didn't know how many people would come. It ended up we got one out of every six Harvard students that ended up taking this class on happiness. One out of every six. It was more popular than economics, which is incredible, right? Yeah, which is why people are going to Harvard. Exactly, right? Yes. But what it taught us was that success wasn't leading directly to happiness, that

You could be incredibly intelligent, but that happiness was something that you had to cultivate in a completely different way. And then oftentimes we've been taught calculus and we've been taught multiple languages, but we hadn't been taught about how you deepen optimism or how you deepen social connection. So is it a fact that everybody sort of has a baseline level of happiness, but that we can with certain practices

up that baseline and be happier? - Well, it depends on who you talk to. So when we look at genes, when we look to see, you know, is happiness just based upon your genes? Well, the average person doesn't fight their genes very much. So whatever you're born with basically is how you end up being. - Right. - But what we're finding is that when we started doing this research in positive psychology, that if people change their habits, if they change their mindset, they could move dramatically away from not only their genes, but their environment and their childhood as well to actually have a different life. - Okay.

Well, one of the things that you say in Before Happiness is that before you can actually be happy, you have to be able to define it for yourself. And what's interesting, as you know, I did 25 years of The Oprah Show. Yes. And I started to notice around the 90s, like when, because I had my own like focus group at the end of every show. And so when I would ask people, what do you really want? People would stand up and say, I just want to be happy.

And I'd say, "What does that look like?" People had trouble defining what it really looked like. - Right. One of the things I think is amazing, it's just as you're trying to change the discussion about how we define spirituality and God as we're talking about this, and I've seen it on so many of your shows, and Arianna Huffington is having the third metric, right? - Yeah, yeah. - Let's redefine what success is. I think along with those, we've gotta redefine happiness as well, because if happiness

just means pleasure, if it just means that we feel good in the present moment. Pleasure is so short-lived, right? I eat a chocolate bar and then I feel bad about it five minutes later. So I might feel happy for a second, but it doesn't last. I studied at the Divinity School before getting into positive psychology. And one of the things that I saw there is that happiness was defined by the ancient Greeks as the joy that we feel striving for our potential. Oh, tweetable moment, I must say. I love this. It changed the way... I love that. When I read that, I went...

That is what, that is it. - It changes the way we pursue happiness, right? Because if you-- - Isn't that a great definition? The joy we feel striving towards our potential. - Yeah, joy is something you can feel in the ups and downs of life. You can feel it even when things are not pleasurable. So I just-- - So what's the difference between joy and happiness?

I think we need to redefine happiness so that they're linked. That the more that we think about happiness purely as pleasure, I think it causes us to pursue happiness the wrong way. That's right, because that pleasure comes, it goes, it leaves, you know, you go to the amusement park, you have a happy day, you get a bouquet of flowers from your beau,

It's a happy moment, but it doesn't last. - Joy is inextricably linked to meaning. You can't pull those two apart from one another. Joy is something you feel with the ups and downs of life, but it's also something we feel on the way to our potential, to find who we are as a human being, or to be an altruist, or to be a parent or a teacher.

But it's not something that happens once we hit that point. And I think that's the problem. We make two mistakes, right? We think it's pleasure or we think that happiness is going to come once we've reached some plateau. Something, yeah. It doesn't, right? Like it's got to be linked to the way that we live our lives. We have to pursue that happiness in a completely different way. So the joy you feel while striving towards your potential, is that true? I know you've lectured on that.

in over 50 countries. - That's right. - Do different cultures respond to happiness differently? - They do. - Yeah, they do. - I mean, it's been amazing. I feel like I've had an incredible education after Harvard. We're going to visit these countries and hear about how farmers in Zimbabwe who had lost their lands, I came to talk to them about optimism and to listen to them.

incredibly optimistic people. And then I flew from Zurich speaking to Swiss bankers who didn't get their bonus once and were shattered. And what I realized was while we all come up with different definitions of happiness, I would like us to start changing the way that we define happiness. While we might have different definitions of happiness, the triggers for happiness are similar worldwide. It's a

a deep social connection. The breadth and depth and the meaning in our relationships is one of the greatest predictors of long-term levels of happiness we have. Meaning? So in communities where people, or in areas of the world where people have a strong sense of community, you have happier people. Right. And Sean, is it also based upon our expectation? Because, you know, I've, like you, traveled in countries where people had nothing to

Nothing, nothing, nothing. And you see the children in the yard playing with two sticks. They don't even have a ball. Right. And they're laughing and they're so joyous. I don't understand it, really. I think what... Is it because there isn't...

a great expectation, their lower expectations? - I've found people that are living in extreme poverty who some of them are playing in the dirt and are very happy and some are sitting there bored and unhappy. And what we found in this research, some of the top researchers in positive psychology found that only 10% of our

of our long-term levels of happiness is based upon the external world. 90% of our long-term happiness is how your brain processes the world we find ourselves in, this beautiful day, this beautiful place we're in right now, how our brains process that changes how it affects us. And that's true when we're... And it's also how we process everything. Everything. And I want to... I think all of this research in positive psychology comes down to this idea that happiness is not

forced upon us by the external world. It's not forced upon us based upon your childhood or your genes even. Right. That happiness can be a choice. Yeah, absolutely. What is your own personal definition of happiness? Well, I think the thing that I find that causes me the most happiness is the fact that I feel like that what I do matters to create more meaning. That I can see that

that things matter. I mean, and we talked about this earlier that I can actually be very successful, but if I don't enjoy it, if I'm not grateful for it, if I don't feel any of that, I don't experience any of that happiness. We should actually be in the happiest time in human history right now. We should be. If you're looking at the external world, we've got the fewest number of people dying from diseases percentage-wise, fewest number of people dying from wars and conflict in

And yet we're not finding that it's leading to greater levels of happiness. We're finding elevated rates of depression, elevated rates of suicide. - 'Cause we're chasing that bar. We're chasing that bar of success. - We're chasing happiness in the wrong way. And so what I'm hoping is people will start listening back to all these people who've been saying this all throughout time, that there are some things that really do lead us in a positive direction towards greater levels of happiness. And I think that what they're all saying

is that this external world is great. We want to make it a better external world for other people, but that actually isn't the end of the story. That there's something more about the way that we perceive the world. There's something more of the connection that we feel with the meaning. You know this is true. Yeah. When you get still with yourself or even when you're not still, there's this nagging yearning.

that we all feel as humans. We all know that there's more to it than the day-to-day grind. There's more to it than just going through the motions of your life. There's more, there's more, there's more. This is the reason I was so excited to come talk with you because with Super Soul Sunday, you've tapped into a hunger. People are starving for something that they feel like we've lost. And I think that people who see that there is that meaning out there, that they're

their happiness levels rise as well, that their meaning in their life rises as well. They feel more connected to other people because what they're doing really matters. Yeah. Are you still quoting 30-year-old movies? Have you said cool beans in the past 90 days? Do you think Discover isn't widely accepted?

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the opposite of happiness is? - Is apathy. - Is apathy. - For so long I thought unhappiness was bad, right? - Yeah. - And people ask me all the time, so you study happiness, you go around the world, talk about happiness, I'm sure you get this as well. - Yeah. - And are you ever unhappy?

And yes, I am, but unhappiness I find actually motivates me sometimes to make good changes. Like it tells me I'm not in the relationship I should be or it tells me I need to start changing some of the patterns in my life. Another one of the things that you say is that most people believe that if they work hard, they'll be successful and happiness will follow. Why do you say, I'm sure most of you all, we've grown up with that. Right. You work hard.

and you do all the things you're supposed to do, you will be successful and happiness will follow. And you say that model is now broken. It's broken. And it's scientifically broken for two reasons. The first reason is that because success is a moving target, even if you hit success, you immediately change what success looks like for you. So when

when we tell our kids that, "Oh, once you do this, you'll be happy. Once you get into this school, you'll be happy. Or once you lose this weight, you'll be happy." All these types of things make us think it's gonna happen, and then it doesn't. It keeps getting pushed off for the future. - Yeah, I call it the bigger towel theory because when I first started out, I'd gone to a friend's house,

who was, you know, she had a trust fund and I'd never known anybody who had a trust fund. And I saw her mom's linen closet and they had these amazing towels. It looked like a linen store. So my goal was to get a linen closet with towels like that. And then what happens is

What happens is once you get those towels, they come out with bigger towels. Now they have not just towels, they have like bath sheets. - Yep. - Yeah. And now it's not just the bath sheets, it's the thread count on the sheets. - That's right. - So it keeps it, yeah.

It keeps growing and growing. They keep moving it. Because otherwise, once we had something really good happen, then we'd be happy for the rest of our life. That's right. But I have to savor it. I have to do some things with it, right? And that's the other side of it. Basically, when we study it, we find that your happiness levels don't actually move very much as your success rates rise. Yeah. But flip around the formula. If we change the way that we pursued happiness. Here comes the key. This is it.

The research, this research is incredible. It says that being successful doesn't automatically make you happier. But being happier, being more positive, causes you. Makes you more successful. Makes you more successful. Oh, this is so good. It's like...

in the old days where people thought having the high IQ and companies would hire people with a high IQ. Yes. And I read this in "Before Happiness." They would hire people with a high IQ. And then we found that people with a high IQ didn't necessarily make the best people for the job. You're so right. So one of my favorite researches-- I'm right because I read it. Yeah.

I love that. I didn't know it before then. But Marty Seligman at the University of Pennsylvania, he started positive psychology in 1998. And he did this study where he found that at MetLife, amongst insurance salesmen, they found that the top 10% of insurance salesmen, in terms of optimism, were outselling the other 90% by another 89%. It was extraordinary. And what we started learning was that intelligence only...

only accounts for 25% of our job success. 75% of our successes in life, and not just about jobs, but within the working world, 75% of what causes our kids to be successful, causes us to be successful, is not about our intelligence and technical skills.

It's how we process the world. It's our optimism, like the belief that our behavior really matters. It's our connections. Social connection is as predictive of how long we'll end up living as obesity, high blood pressure, and smoking. Wow. Which is incredible. You mean real social connections, not just what we're tweeting to each other. I get so many people that say because of television and because of social media that the entire world is becoming less happy.

because we're disconnected. And I think the research doesn't hold that up. I mean, what it shows is how you use those is how they affect you. - Yeah. - And I believe that the technology can actually dramatically deepen social connection if we use it the right way. - If we use it the right way. - Right.

Are there people who were born happy? - Yes. - Okay. Were you one of those people? - I think so, but I was also born, I believe, with genes for depression as well. So I'm optimistic by nature, but also went through a period of depression myself. And so part of what I think is just having a newborn myself that

One of the things I'm so excited about is he's born with genes that already predispose him to things, predispose him to... Sean has a newborn. His name is Leo. Leo, Leo, Leo. So cute. He's wonderful. And I'm learning so much about happiness. You know what I said? That's going to be a happy baby. Yeah. I'm married to a happiness researcher. He's forced to be happy.

- Wow. - But what's interesting, he's already got genes that predispose him for different levels of intelligence or creativity or extroversion or obesity. And I believe some people are born where happiness is an easier choice than it is for some people. And what we're finding though, that's where most people stop. And I think the thing that's revolutionary-- - Yeah, I was sharing with you, my friend Gail, she's a naturally happy person. - Right.

I am not. I think we all have our baselines, right? We have our baselines. And you can improve your baseline. That's the revolution, right? That's the revolution! I can be happier today! You can because what's amazing is we go back to it and say, well, this is how I was born, or this

this is my childhood, or this is what I've gone through. And what we find is that, yes, if you don't fight your genes, if you don't move away from your previous experiences, or if you're just defined by your environment, your happiness will be entirely your genes and your environment.

If we choose to do some simple things in our life, if we choose to do some of the things you've talked about before about being grateful, if we create positive habits in our life, what we find is that choice for happiness starts becoming easier and easier and easier. The happiest people in the world, the top 10% of happiest people are not happy all the time. Actually, don't get to study people that are happy all the time because that's a disorder actually.

- To be happy all the time. - If you're happy-- - 'Cause that's not normal. - It's not normal because-- - To be human and be happy all the time. - You've got to feel, even to be aware of the suffering that's going on in the world or the frustrations that people feel, it makes us human, it makes us compassionate and empathetic. - Yes.

Listen, I've been doing a lot of talking a lot of years. So when somebody comes up with something I hadn't heard that I can talk to them about in a setting like this, it's so exciting. Something particularly as profound as for years, you all have all heard it, is the glass half empty or the glass half full? And I beat myself up because sometimes I look at it and I go, it's definitely half empty. Right. Yeah.

And some days it's half full, but what does it matter if you have a, if you, well, you're saying, what does it matter if you have a pitcher nearby? That's right. I think that there's a different way of even looking at this. And that's what we've been studying in positive psychology. I love this. I love this. I love this. I love this. It doesn't matter if the glass is half full.

or half empty? Yeah, because we get so focused on the glass. Our entire brain is focused on the glass, whether it's half full or half empty. We can argue forever and ever between optimists and pessimists. And both can say that they're being unrealistic. But it doesn't matter if we could scan more of the world, if we looked at more of the world and saw that there's a pitcher of water that's sitting next to it. What I love about that is that positive psychology and spirituality, I think that what they're doing is... What about the people who say, "I don't have no pitcher"?

I think that we do. I think that we do the more we connect to other people around us. I would say the world itself is the picture. Life is the picture.

The life is a picture. And we're missing the picture sometimes when we're so focused on that one element. But if we look for other ways, we can actually fill up that glass. And so I actually could care less about whether it's half full or half empty right now if I could fill it up. And so that's what we have people start to look for is how do I connect to other people around me? How do I believe my behavior matters enough? Boy, that changed me. That's good. Oh, God, that's a good one. Wonderful. I could care less if it's half empty or half full. Yes.

If you have the picture to fill it up. That's right. We just need to look for it. We need to be able to look and scan the world in a completely different way. And if we're starting to look for those things, we can start to not only fill up our glass, but it allows us to fill up the glasses of other people around us. Summer is heating up. The Chi is back on Paramount+. It's the season of the women. This is our chance. It's time to get to work. But the men aren't giving up without a fight. The Chi, new season now streaming on the Paramount+. We'll show time plan.

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This is what is so great for super solars around the world. You can be happier after this show today. Absolutely. And by the end of the show, we're going to actually talk to you about-- and I've tried them. Yes. I mean, actually, I do three out of the five you recommended. But now-- and just today, I added one. It was amazing. Right. If you actually do these five things, you get happier. Yes. There are people who are happy, like Gail, who just sees the world through-- my friend Gail sees the world through sort of colored lenses.

I don't, but I have a baseline of contentment. Yes. So is happiness and contentment the same thing? I think that they're connected. And it depends. If contentment is just I'm okay and resilient in the present, I think that it misses out on the positive side of the curve sometimes. Yeah, I'd like to be happier, actually. Yeah, because I feel like...

We focus so much on resilience, but you can eliminate all the negatives in your life. You can eliminate all those bad things, get rid of all the baggage and problems, and you're still not a positive yet, right? Like the absence of disease is not health. The absence of these negatives doesn't necessarily make us more positive. What I want is we want to be resilient, but I think we also want to feel that joy that starts to emanate out to other people more and more where we actually have this overflowing of it so that it

it causes other people to choose to be happier as well. Yeah, OK.

So everybody, you've been waiting to get happier. You say that there's actually happiness hygiene, just like we have a certain amount of sleep that makes us function well. Eating the right food makes us feel better. Brushing our teeth, obviously, makes us feel better and not offend other people. That there is also happiness hygiene. So what are the principles for happiness hygiene? So it.

- It actually just takes one thing. - Happiness happens. - Yeah, we need to create a single positive change in our life that shows us that our behavior matters. So what I was looking for is if we brush our teeth for two minutes a day, we know we do that because we want to be healthier, because it makes us live longer or something like that, right?

Same thing is true with all this research we've been doing in positive psychology for over a decade. That what we found is we can actually take somebody's wiring or their genes or their environment and we can raise their levels of happiness up if we can get them to do even something as simple as a two-minute habit.

for 21 days. - A two minute habit. Now, if you're not willing to give it two minutes a day. - Two minutes, that's it. - Two minutes. - But we give so much to happiness all the time, striving for it. - Striving for it. - We do it the wrong way, right? - Yeah, okay, so this is gonna be the right way. Or a way. - Here's some of the things we found that the work

that are so powerful that they trump even your genes in your environment. Okay, hold that thought as I ask this question because I'm so excited my brain's doing this. Okay, I've read where you say in Before Happiness that sometimes a simple smile, now people say that, oh, just smile and it changes your brain chemistry. Does it? It does. Well, we started this campaign with a magazine with Just Say Hello because if you just said hello to people...

Because sometimes people are so lonely. Right. That would make a difference in their day and yours, just saying hello. And it shows you how much power you have, right? Because I talked to this guy who, he said he moved into a neighborhood and everyone used to wave and then no one waves anymore. So he describes it as, here's what the world's doing to me. But what we got him to do was just to wave.

So we have him wave and say hello to other people. And people were learning, this is the social script. This is how I'm supposed to treat other people in this neighborhood. So now he says, everyone waves and says hello. OK, so let's go back to the two minutes. OK. OK. So we found something as simple-- this is some of the work that was originally done by Martin Seligman. Originally, they found that if you woke up every morning and practiced,

saying three things you're grateful for. New, they have to be new each day. You have to come up with new things you're grateful for. They found if you do this for 21 days, even people who were testing as low-level pessimists, on average, we're now testing as low-level optimists 21 days later. Now, that doesn't sound that huge,

But here's the amazing thing, we can do this with 84-year-old men, with genes for pessimism. Not that all 84-year-old men are pessimists, but we found some that were. And if you do this for 21 days, what we find is that even if you practice pessimism for eight decades of your life, even if you were born with genes for pessimism, when people practice these,

I would never guess before this research that literally two minutes could trump your genes and your environment. So you just do it for two minutes each day? Less than two minutes. Less than two minutes. Well, I have found this, that gratitude changes your vibrational frequency in the world. So you're saying the same thing. That's exactly what we're finding in the research. It literally changes what you draw to yourself. It changes your outlook. Gratitude changes your vibrational frequency. That's...

That's exactly it because you're constructing a world based upon the facts that you have. And if you're looking at all the negative facts, you've got a negative world. But if you're looking for the things you're grateful for, you've got a world that your behavior matters, right? And that's what happens when you do these happiness habits. Okay, so two minutes of gratitude. Two minutes of gratitude. 21 days. For 21 days. Another thing you could do is think of one...

meaningful experience you had over the past 24 hours, one meaningful thing that's happened to you, it doesn't have to be huge. It could be something like a conversation or a sunset. Or somebody held a door open for you. Held up a door, something meaningful. And in two minutes, you just write down every detail you can remember. And the reason for that is you're trying to get your brain to relive the experience. We can't tell much difference between visualization and actual experience. When we journal about the meaningful experience, we literally double it. And if you do it for 21 days, it creates this

connection between that meaning and our life, we actually find a trajectory of meaning running throughout our lives. They sound like tips or tricks, but they're actually the building blocks of how human beings can change.

Another one of the suggestions I like that you bring up in For Happiness is the sending a thank you to someone, like emailing someone. Yes, we love this one. So we got to work with a couple social media major companies and we had them write a two-minute email every morning. I hope everyone would do this today. Write a two-minute email or tweet or Facebook message or text message praising or thanking one person you know. It's so simple. Two minutes is usually two or three sentences. And you do it a different person for 21 days.

What we found, first of all, it makes you happy immediately when you do it. But the reason is great. It's 21 days later, when we ask you about your social connection, the breadth and depth of your relationships, you have incredibly deep social support. And social support, as I was mentioning, is as predictive of how long we'll live as obesity, high blood pressure, and smoking. And we fight so hard against the negative, and we forget to tell people how powerful a two-minute pause of email could be. Does it have to be an email? Can you make a phone call?

phone calls are even better even better face to face that eye contact oh well yeah but that's i mean that's the honors class oh my god that's honors okay what else could we do um so we know exercise 15 minutes of fun mindful cardio activity uh trains your brain to believe your behavior matters so when people exercise we talk about endorphins but endorphins are just

short term is pleasure. Right. But the reason why exercise is valuable is it trains your brain to believe my behavior matters, which is optimism, which causes you to create an entire constellation of positive habits around you. That's right. Meditation. Oh, meditation is big. Huge. And you've had some absolute experts come on. What I do, and what I'm trying to do in this research is keep the bar as low as possible. We're not asking you for 20 minutes of TM. Yes. You're just saying, and Adi Ashanti said this recently, can you...

The more time you can spend in stillness or silence with yourself,

you're just going to have exponential benefits. That's exactly it. I would love people to do this more and more. I would love myself to do this more and more. For me, meditation is hard because I feel like I have developed cultural attention deficit disorder where because we have so much stimulation, I feel like I have trouble focusing on things for very long. So when I try to meditate, my brain gets so scattered. I hear so many people say I can't meditate because my brain goes everywhere. Yeah. But what I think what we really want is when somebody practices, here's what we found, for two minutes,

watching their breath go in and out, literally two minutes, it gave their brain a new pattern where I'm going to try instead of multitasking to single task. Their accuracy rates improved, but their happiness levels improved, stress dropped, and amazingly, the stress of the people around them dropped as well. It starts to cause this chain reaction to other people creating that ripple effect. What we find with all five of those habits is that all of them create a positive ripple effect to other people, which is amazing.

Which brings us to the conclusion here. You say a decade of research on happiness comes down to three conclusions. What are they? Scientifically, happiness can be a choice. It's a choice. Happiness spreads. When we choose happiness, it actually makes it easier for other people to choose happiness. And that happiness is actually an advantage. When we create happiness and positivity in the present, we're better at making a better world for other people afterwards. We wait for success, it just doesn't work.

I'm so much happier now. Thank you. Wonderful. Me too. I'm Oprah Winfrey, and you've been listening to Super Soul Conversations, the podcast. You can follow Super Soul on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. If you haven't yet, go to Apple Podcasts and subscribe, rate, and review this podcast. Join me next week for another Super Soul Conversation. Thank you for listening. You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, we all need that. That's what Uber is all about. Not just a ride or dinner at your door. It's how Uber helps you show up for the moments that matter. Because showing up can turn a tough day around or make a good one even better. Whatever it is, big or small, Uber is on the way so you can be on yours. Uber, on our way.

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