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F
Frank
通过分享个人经历，推动助理技术的可访问性和用户支持。
J
Joey
Joey: 我和Greg合作推出的Bloody Mary辣酱非常美味，可以搭配各种食物享用。我们今天录制了一期早午餐特辑，尝试了各种食物和饮品，包括热狗、鸡肉和Bloody Mary鸡尾酒。我的狗Charlie这天早上拉肚子，搞得我很狼狈，带它去看兽医后，兽医诊所的工作人员居然是我们的粉丝，给了我们折扣。回家路上，Charlie又在我车旁拉肚子，然后又在我家电梯里制造了尴尬的场面。最后，我不得不给它洗澡，结果它还把屎甩到了我身上。这一天真是糟糕透顶。
Frank: 我带来的玩具和物品很好地代表了我本人以及辣酱的品牌形象。我调制的Bloody Mary鸡尾酒加了辣酱，味道很好，辣度适中。我用热狗吸食Bloody Mary，我的健康饮食计划结束了。做真实的自己很重要，不要让外界改变你内心的想法。我经常在说话时故意拖延时间，看看自己能坚持多久。昨天过得很糟糕，我的狗早上拉肚子，带它去兽医那里，经历了一系列的麻烦。我不会为了钱而录制我的屁声出售，但如果价格合适，我会考虑。我认为我的抗辣能力比Joey强。
Greg
supporting_evidences
Joey: 'Yeah, today you guys can go get this Bloody Mary hot sauce, okay? This is the second version of the hot sauce that me and Greg did. The first one was the Everything Bagel hot sauce, but this is a Bloody Mary hot sauce. And again, you guys, fucking listen. I'm not being a shill because you pay the bills. It is really good, and it does go on everything that I have consumed. I have not had it in a drink. Right. Because I don't know why you'd put that there, but...'
Frank: 'And this has the hot sauce in it, right? Cheers, big ears. Yes, the hot sauce is in here. We made it with the Bloody Mary hot sauce. All right, here we go. That's not bad, dude. That's good. That's good. Right amount of spice. Yo, that's actually good. Right amount of spice with the hot sauce? It's actually good. It's actually good. Also, I'm gonna say this. I made it. Yeah. Like, I made the drink. It's not bad.'
Joey: 'Had one of the worst days of my life.'
Joey: 'Yo, this is not bad. Yeah, it's kind of slap in the... The fucking Bloody Mary's not bad. I hate the... I'm going to tell you it's because of this, which it probably is. The sauce is amazing. Go get it. Heatness.com, by the way. Secret handshake food go. Two for two. Just want to throw that out there. Bangers.'
Joey: 'The dog is driving me crazy. As soon as we get here, he needs to go out. So I take him out immediately. More espresso. Alright? Please. Sing the song. Please. Exactly.'
Joey: 'So then we come back in here, and he's being restless. He's going up to Greg. He's getting in my face and breathing and whatnot. And I'm like, oh, my God, just relax for a second. I go to the bathroom. As soon as I go to the bathroom, he throws up on the carpet. Nice. Smart dog. So there's that. Oh, he christened it. He christened it. You know how people, like when their friend gets a new car or something, they throw spare change on the floor or something like that? That's the dog's way of christening this new place.'
Joey: 'So, then, I'm like, I gotta take him to the vet.'
Joey: 'Do you want to do the x-ray? If you want to do the x-ray, it's this. It was $1,700. With the x-ray? With an x-ray. I was like, you know what? I'll just look at him really hard, and then I'll figure it out. So I was like, I'm not doing the x-ray. But then the bill was $800. I was like, what?'
Joey: 'So I go out to the front, and the girl comes out with a laptop. Now I get super scared. That's scary. Because she sits down, and she goes, okay, so you're Charlie's dad? I was like, yep. And then she's like, okay, we just wanted to let you know. And I was like, bro, what the fuck is going on right now? That's fucking... That... So scared. 30 seconds must have felt like four minutes. I was like... But she's like... I just wanted to let you know that we're very big Basement Yard fans. And I was like, this fucking animal just scared the shit out of me. Oh, see, they should have ran with it. They should have ran with it. If I was her, I'm telling you, your dog has something crazy. And I'm just like, pranked. You've been pranked. Right. I'm a big Basement Yard fan. That's why you're not a doctor. So she tells me they're big Basement Yard fans, and they're going to give me $500 off. I was like, what?'
Joey: 'Get him in the car. They give me all the pills and shit. I drive there, and then as soon as I get out of my car, he walks over to the first tree that he sees, lifts his leg like he's gonna pee, and starts firing out yellow diarrhea.'
Joey: 'So we go into the elevator and there's a woman who a woman gets in the elevator. I'm like, this is my worst nightmare now because the woman. What would you do? Are you throwing up? What's going on? I'm trying not to have the sound of my chewing in the mic. Great. So we get into the elevator and the woman who gets in, she's like, oh, he's so cute. And I'm like, this woman only knew, right? Because his face turned around. Oh, he smells like shit in the elevator. Bro, the most dog shit you've ever smelled in your life.'
Joey: 'So some of it got in his tail, right? And the reason why I know that. You had a jerk off his tail. I'm so glad someone else is here now to laugh at me. Because like how else would you clean a tail brother? I mean yeah you gotta like- You have to jerk it. So I start jerking his tail. Here we go! Now we're talking! How are you- were you standing next to him or over him? He's in the tub and I'm like kneeling next to the tub so I'm like washing him. Gotcha. And the dude hits a shake. He shakes shit in your face! He didn't shake shit in my face but he definitely shakes shit on my chest. He's shaked and there was a streak of diarrhea.'
Joey: 'I mean, this would be a really not fun story if at the end of it he, like, died. No, no, no. I just got a text from the vet today and he said, like, his blood work is normal. Okay. He may have just eaten something that, like, I don't fucking know. Oh, I did give him a hemp chew the day before this happened, so maybe.'
Frank: 'I have too much pride to record my farts and sell them.'
Frank: 'I would say, realistically, $500.'
Joey: 'You have to set your standard high to make your farts more appealing.'
Joey: 'I think cyber now is just being used to... It's just used as a highway. However the car gets there, it's just a highway, cyber.'
Joey: 'So, the case, woman gets caught, woman gets charged in the first ever cyber farting case after relentlessly sending multiple videos of herself farting to her boyfriend's ex.'
Joey: 'All publicity is good publicity.'
Joey: 'The court also sentenced Evans to a 12 month community- What does that say? With a two year restraining order.'
Frank: 'If you gave me 30 seconds, you would have allowed me to say this, bitch. I stole it. Anytime I watch the old fucking Looney Tunes or Tom and Jerry, and they fucking do that. Oh, that looks so sick. Yo, why do we move away from cans, bro?'
Joey: 'We used to have one at the lake that was magnetic and it was like mounted to the cabinet and you literally just pulled the can up to it and it sticks to it and then it just like... Spins it? It spins it and it stays there until you pull it off. It was so sick.'
Joey: 'What's Popeye's bad guy's name? Bluto? I don't know. No idea.'
Joey: 'You fucked it up. Or, or, or, or. I just turned to a seal. I almost went back. Olivia. Olive. Bro, her name was Olive. Olive what? Branch. Olive. Olive oil.'
Joey: 'You know how the basic girl tattoo is like a dream catcher? Dream catcher, yeah. Butterflies. Butterflies. For men, yeah. It's names and numbers. It's Roman numerals. Yeah. Crosses this.'
Joey: 'I like Ben Affleck. I like Ben Affleck, too. I love the account. That back tattoo is a bad one. It's a bad one. I think because it's just like... I think in theory it wouldn't be that bad, but just like on him of all the hell we don't places like that's just such a bad.'
Joey: 'I think old sleeves look cool. If there's like, if it's like, look, there's like Josh, Josh has sleeves of like different horror characters. I think that's pretty cool. Yeah.'
Joey: 'You ever see Steve-O tattooed a penis on his face? Yeah, he got a penis coming into his eye. Or pissing, I don't know what it is.'
Joey: 'PrizePix is the best place to get real money sports action.'
Joey: 'If you're ready to optimize your nutrition this year, you want to go on the right foot here, you can do so at Factor. It has chef-made gourmet meals that make eating well easy because they're dietician approved. They're ready to eat in two minutes. You just heat it up when you get it.'
Joey: 'Buns make the dog better, though.'
Joey: 'That's why celery seeds- You're a manipulator. No I'm not! Did anyone just hear that? No! No, no, no, bitch. Go. Because two things can mean two different things.'
Joey: 'Without a doubt. Really? Without a doubt.'
Joey: 'But you don't anymore? Anytime we would go, this is going to be, you can immediately pick apart this argument. Oh, this is going to be good. But like anytime when we were kids, we would go to Hooters, which we did pretty often. I wouldn't say that. We went like a couple times a summer.'
Joey: 'It is the most American thing on the planet. Like, pay a flat rate and just get all of the food, all of it, as much as all of it.'
Joey: 'Man, when's the last time I went to a buffet? I went to King China Buffet. That was like the place to go when we were kids. They had a koi pond in the front. It was so cool. I used to throw quarters in there. I didn't realize that I was killing the kois.'
Joey & Frank: '- Mine was Neptune Diner. I would go there, get giant pancakes and then on the way out they had a little bowl of mints and I would eat all of them. - I love sucking those mints. - I love sucking those mints. They have a little jelly in them. - They do and they're dusty.'
Joey: 'It's just sugar. BTH for me. It's like BTH for me. BTH- what the hell is that? Black tar heroin.'
Joey: 'The purple ones of those, you see how they're filled with the jelly? The green ones are the best, brother. Green were good. I like the red ones and the green ones were the... If you ever handed me a yellow one, I'll tell you right now, I'm throwing it against the wall as hard as I can. The yellow ones, I actually like yellow flavored shit, and people hate it. These yellow ones are garbage. I don't like yellow flavored stuff.'
Joey: 'One time my grandma got me these things, it's like, "Oh, it's wax lips." My mom. And I put it in my mouth and it makes you look like you have big lips. And I tried to eat it and I'm like, "Grandma, You suck. I'm eating a fucking candle here. You suck, Grandma. Why am I eating this?'
Joey: 'And our science teacher, he was like going over like what we were going to be doing this year. And it was like cool shit. He showed us that experiment where like you dip a can in hot water and then you immediately go to cold water and it just fucking crushes.'
Joey: 'He's like it's gonna be he was getting like so dramatic And he's like it's gonna be like we're gonna like blow your mind science is everything and anything and he lit a candle And he's like science will make you question your perception of reality He blew the candle out and then ate it and I was like what the fuck? Why'd he eat it? This was crazy, dude. Yeah. It blew my mind. You definitely thought, that's so cool. I did. And then I found out that he was a fucking fraud. It wasn't a candle. It was a piece of string cheese.'
Joey: 'You know what's funny? On the drive-in, I was thinking to myself, like, I still feel like I'm the same person in just, like, that's not true. What? Thank God I didn't. But like, I still feel like the same person in a sense that I was like my whole life.'
Joey: 'Our Spanish teacher, the reason she hated us, it made sense. Her last name was Madera, which is wood in Spanish.'
Joey: 'And obedience. What do we mean by, well, obedience, I get that, to the Lord. Yeah. You gotta obey that. Chastity, that makes sense. Chastity, is that no puss? No sexies. No puss? And, uh... Vow of poverty? Poverty. He's definitely getting paid. I mean, that doesn't, that I don't understand. Like, you choose to live in squalor to feel more connected to God? Is that a thing?'
Joey: 'I always wanted, and I think I have asked you this before, but like what, like your science classes, like where do they draw the line? Did they just, like, start and stop at earth science?'
Joey: 'My science teacher was a gay man, right? Not out at the time.'
Joey: 'Then I had another teacher who taught... Sex and religion? Was that the class? Like sex? So sex and religion. Who was trans? like was like since then has transitioned or at the time was transitioning no it was like like yeah wow I think maybe in the middle that's pretty cool well I was like I didn't think about that until right now when you said it like where they draw the line in science like it was a regular science like we did chem and biology that's pretty cool that's that's yeah cool in the sense like that they accepted her'
Joey: 'So on the first day, the teacher was like, we're just going to make everyone comfortable. So everyone's going to go up to the board. And whatever makes you think of sex, write one word on the board.'
Joey: 'There was a kid who was strange. You know in the kids in high school that kind of act like cats and you're like, why is this guy meowing? You know what I mean? Yep. There was nothing wrong with this kid. I think that he just. Like cats. Maybe. Yeah. Or he was a cat. I have no idea. Okay. But he wrote hentai. Okay. Up on the board.'
Joey: 'Guys, I think that's all for this week's episode. Are you going to say it? I was going to wait until you say what you were going to say, and then I was going to say my things. You can go try the Bloody Mary hot sauce that Frank has in his hand that he's about to... There you go. Go get it at theheatness.com. Go look for the Bloody Mary hot sauce.'
Frank: 'You can find me at FAlvarez885 on Twitter, TheFrankAlvarez on all the forms of social media.'
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