Dial Down Family Drama: 5 Ways to Reduce Conflict With the Ones You Love
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Hey, h friend, ml, and welcome to the male rovs pog. I don't know why I was all excited in that open right there, even true in a woooo, because i'm a little annoyed right now. I want to talk to you about this phenomenon that happens with your family, probably happens with your roommates.

Still, if ever noticed that right before you're about to go on vacation or you're going on some sort of family road trip, there is a Mandatory screaming match that you have to have with one another as you're loading the car. If you ever noticed that we're about to go down to one of our favorite places on the planet and spend some time at the beach and IT never fails the night before we leave. IT is a complete show, show to the point where you question whether or not you've wants to go on vacation.

And I don't know what this is about, so let me tell you what happened last night. We were busy packing up the house, and I don't know how your family does IT, but I like to stage things. So I turn the dinner table and the kitchen counters into the landing strip for all of the things that we're gonna.

And I also feel like I need to take everything that is in the cabinets with us and in the fridge, like the half drunk carton of milk, because I figure, why buy IT down there when we can just load IT in the car and shut up? So i'm busy doing that. And of course, we were trying to record a bunch more podcast episodes.

So i'm running up the stairs to the studio that I come back downstairs and pack a few things. Everything seemed to be fine. You know, my kids were packed in their stuff up, Chris packing his stuff up.

We're starting the pile for all the dogs things they're creates. They're shes their dog balls, the dog food, and we sit down to have dinner. And Chris, who is thank god, the trip leader in the planner and our family goes, okay, let's talk about tomorrow morning when we are leaving for this vacation.

I really want to discuss when you guys wants to leave, whose driving with who, who's gone to take the dogs, and how this is all going to go down tomorrow. Oakley candle are twenty two thousand twenty year old immediately go we wanted leave at nine o'clock in the morning and Chris gives them that link look whether mouth is wide open and you can see him calculating there's no way on how you're leaving at nine o'clock in the morning. That's not happening because first of all, you sleep until eight forty five, so you're not leaving in nine o'clock.

He starts to basically say, that's fine, but i'm going have a long list of things that we need to do in order to kind of leave and to get ready and to pack up the stuff we dear this. Obvious and candle turns to me, I love you candle, if you're listening to this but he turns to me and he says, can I just say something? I'm sure if you're expecting us to load your car, mom, then you got have all your stuff packed up tonight and I just paused the old me, whatever, opted back and started arguing because I had not been practicing any of the nervous system regulation we talk about on the male Robin's broadgate.

I just took a deep ath. I witnessed her getting agitated, and I said, okay and then I said something smart. I don't believe I asked you to load my car and SHE said, well, you know, what is up happening all the time? Is that now you ask us to do stuff in the morning and then you're not ready and then we're all waiting around for you.

And I couldn't help myself. I couldn't help myself. I had to tug back, you know, I tagger war doesn't feel like a game when you're doing the tagger war in life with words. But I yanked back and I was like, listen, i'm to tell you some.

I am the one that writes the check for the house that we are renting, and the person that writes the check does not do the same damn jobs that the unemployed college graduate and high school students are doing. So please do not tell me what I am supposed to be doing in order for your life to be easier, because I have a different job than you have. I gotto give her some props because he didn't back down, you know, he said, he said, mom, money does not define your value, so do not throw that money in my face.

And by the way, you rent the house and write the check because you want to be there, too. So that is not a fair argument. All I am asking is that you get yourself ready tonight so that if you want our help tomorrow morning, we are ready to help you.

Because oaken I leaving at ten o'clock, I got a editor. I did not appreciate being sort of snaked that. But if I step in her shoes and I give her credit, I know that what he was doing as he was looking back on past experiences.

And the truth is, as I have admitted to a brazilian times and our conversations on this podcast, i'm a complete shit show. When IT comes to managing my own time, I have time blindness, one of the symptoms of a hd, and adults where I just have a hard time, uh, organizing myself. I am always the last one in the car.

Her complaint is valid there. And often times where we have left for this vacation and i'm still in the house packing, in fact, today is that day because my kids left to ten o'clock this morning, Chris still running around downstairs getting things together. Thank god for Chris.

And I am upstairs above the garage, finishing work that I should have finished yesterday. And have I packed yet? No, I have impacted at all. In fact, I still have wondered to do I might not even drive down to the place that we've rented at this points at night.

I don't know what the hell's going on and i'm not worried about IT and know, by the way, it's like four clock in the afternoon. Ha, okay, i'm glad A A got that off my chest. So couple things about that story just told you.

IT illustrates something about our family. We, for Better, for worse, have very open communication. As you noticed, Chris was extremely proactive. He called this informal family, meaning over dinner the night before we're all supose to leave in order to try to understand everybody's needs. Second, our kids, they speak up sometimes, not a tone that I really like.

And I will talk to candle when our emotions are not triggered about how we can be Better at advocating for what we need without barking at each other. The other thing that you'll notice is that our daughter had no problem basically calling me to the matter, which I think is a really good thing. I would never have done that to my mother, and I still don't do that to my mother.

If you can do IT in a respectful way, I think that's a good thing because we've got to the point with our kids where they have to be able to speak up when something bothers them. They have to be able to point out something that doesn't feel fair. And if you consider the example that I gave you, i'm right when I say i'm not going have the same job as you.

You're an unemployed college graduate and i'm the person that has a full time business to run and i'm writing the check in paigning for fiction. So i'm not going to have the same job. However, I actually hadn't address the question because all he had said, if you take the emotion out of IT is if you want help in the morning, mom, you need to be packed tonight and I got a end because i'll be onest.

I knew there was no way in hell I was going to be back at night, and so I felt like I was getting called out and made wrong. I did not hear IT for what I was, which is somebody expressing boundaries. I can help you, but only if you're packed tonight.

And so SHE was right to call me out and say, mom, money does not define worth. That's not what we're talking about. SHE stood around and I respect that because I was already last night.

I wasn't ready this morning. I'm not even ready right now. Those kids, they left to ten o'clock, just like Chris said they could.

They did everything that Chris wrote on three different pages in terms of listen, things to do. And they're already down at this place. We went me on the other end is four o'clock in the afternoon. I have not packed, I still have laundry to do, and i'm sitting here recording a podcast episode for you. That's why families argue, I guess.

Oh god, so IT beggs the question, how do you get to the point where you can have open communication with your family? How can you express your boundaries? So many of us are at a time of year where you're gonna going on vacation with them.

My family, my parents, my brother and sister and law there took IT there, showing up in a matter five days. My parents are rolling in just six days from now. We're gonna be a family of eleven under one roof for an entire week.

Wouldn't be nice to know how to have boundaries, how to have open communication. And so here's what I thought. I thought I would be pretty cool if I took you behind the scenes and I invited you on the couch in the TV room into a private conversation that Chris I had with our three kids.

You're gonna hear from our daughter soil, who's twenty four, our daughter candle, who's twenty two, and our son oakly, who is eighteen. Chris, I are gonna them. What did we fuck up as parents? What did we do that seem to work? And what kinds of things have you witnessed in your friend's parents that caused your friends to stop talking to their parents and to stop trusting them?

That's we're gone to cover and a whole lot more. And so without further a do let's head to the couch. So i'm sitting here with my husband, Chris, of twenty six years.

He is our rock. He's our spiritual center. You, the .

foundations.

the core of the earth, just revolved around clearly cept OK. pluto.

Let me introduce smell roman. He is our tornado. Our world are fun city.

And of course, my wife. Thank you for bringing us all together. So how about you introduced .

your sister kendall OK? So we have here the middle devil child candle. Robbins SHE is an amazing singer, very dedicated, very beautiful.

We love her. Let's give you up for kendall Robins. Oh, candle is, how are you? Oh, she's twenty two and eighteen months of Younger the meth .

I got hello everybody um my name is candle. Thank you for that lovely intro soare um to my right we have many Chris he actually doesn't have his own personality quite. Yeah he he's trying to deal everything from my dad.

嗯， okay, seventeen, six party day, the parties day. He is an amazing brother. He is the most mature, in touch, intelligent, just kind man i've ever met at his age.

And I don't just say that because i'm bias, because trust me, I hated him for very long time. However, we've cross that bridge but this is oakly. He's seventeen. He's great and he's can introduce soir.

Hi guys, i'm okay. Candle, thank you for that wonderful interaction to my left soil. Robbins, twenty three. Right, twenty two.

twenty three. I am in fact older than candle as no one I .

noticed anything. She's twenty three. She's graduates from college. PC huge. You know .

what I do for?

I know if I should reveal, like your personal information.

Do you really find my social security number?

Is I lawyers in south boston? She's working at a cyber security company.

I'll take you here. Soil is the most hard working person next to my mom. I would say that we love you.

okay. Good job, everybody, on the intro. So here's what I want to start with. So many people have remarked about the openness that you guys have all displayed on various episodes of the podcast.

And so the first place that I want to start is that we have a listener that wrote this question in now, are your kids really that open? Or was that just them being that way for the podcast taping? So where? Why do you tackle that one?

To answer the question point, blink. Yes, definitely very open. I tell them almost everything.

I consider myself extremely open. I tell them anything from work to friend problems to boyfriend issues. Cea, but I am actually the least open. When are looking to my siblings simply because I choose what I share with them. And that is a lot, but not every single detail.

Why do you share stuff with this?

Growing up, we always had a very open relationship. One of the core things that you both instilled all of us is you will never, ever get in trouble for telling the truth. If we were telling you completely up from, and honestly, what we were doing, where we are going, who we are going with, or in general, like what is going on in our lives, then regardless of what I was, we would never be punished for that.

And I will always remember I had an incident with my first time drinking. I drink a whole handle of oda, and i'm the oldest. So that was my first radio.

And I woke up in the morning, and I was patric ed peak all over myself, sleeping on the window bench. I thought I was just toast, like I thought I was dead me. I was so scared. And then we all SAT down on the screen in porch.

And they both said to me, we will never punish you for something that we also did as kids after you guys said that I just felt so much more ads um and my punishment that day was actually going tool across trial, which I yacked at several times. Then I looked at my other friends who would get in trouble for drinking or for doing things we weren't allowed to, and they would immediately be grounded. And that just kind of put a huge barrier between, I think, them in their parents, which was just, let's be sneaky, let's steal, let's sneak out, let's go to parties and lie about where we are from. Very early on, you both were very vocal about as long as you are honest, you will not get in trouble. And I think that that just eliminated the barrier between us completely.

I think a lot of parents say that. I think that is every parents throws a line. Hey, as long as you tell me the truth, you're not going to in trouble in the tsung ami of emotions when you get the call that your kid is blacked out or there's spent a huge party or the police showed up or whatever else, most parents freak out and then ground or punish.

I disagree. I disagree for you to say that every parent out there just makes a blanket statement that says, just tell us the truth and you'll be fine like no way that that there in lies. I think one of the secrets, the keys to the kingdom, is inviting the truth telling, because most people don't.

I agree. I actually think that like IT was unspoken in a lot of my friend's households growing up that like, if you tell us the truth, you won't get in trouble. But like there was a difference between what they were saying and what they were doing in terms of the parents.

Like the parents want you to tell the truth, but there going to punish you. You guys wanted to tell the truth, but you're not going to punish us. So like you actually do what you say you're going to .

do as parents well, is that what your parents told you? I didn't get that for my parents. The message to me was IT takes a long time to build trust, and IT takes two seconds to shatter the trust. So well, what's one thing that you think you ve got right as a parent?

Well, my number one goal as a parent, and I know it's your girl too, Chris, was to get you kids to come and talk to me and that about the important topics in your life.

You know, I always thought if you're thirteen, fourteen, fifteen or sixteen, way Better to talk through something you're thinking about or worried about, or you wanting to try and and all that stuff with adults who will listen to you, then going to other fourteen and fifteen or sixteen year olds that do not know what how they're doing. Candle, you're nodding at me. You want to add some to this.

I agree with that. I also have such an open relationship with my parents. Arguably too open.

definitely too open.

Don't take notes for me. I turned out fine sort of but .

what I was going .

to say you were just saying like it's so much Better for for kids at that age to like go to their parents who will listen to them rather than their dip shirt friends but like that's the issue is that parents don't listen. My definition of listen as like you guys have defined what listen means to me and it's like internalizing what we're saying like parents all around the world can just listen to their kid be like, I really want to go to this party tonight like baba baba ba.

Or like, can I pleat like whatever IT maybe, oh, I got too drunk at this party or, oh, I slept with someone before I was ready like, there's a difference betwen hearing what they're saying and actually listening and internalizing how how it's making them feel like I feel like every time we told you guys something as kids, you actually like empathy with us and hero and internalize IT in. In doing that, you were able to like losing the rains a little bit and let us fuck up and let us fail and let us in. Instead of being like your stupid, you're like you're being punish.

Ed, that was dumb. You were like, let's talk about IT. How was IT making you feel?

I saying in these conversations that we were having, as you were growing up, you had that sense of feeling heard inside of.

yes.

absolutely.

My dad is bad, I hate when you cry.

really wasn't planning on this.

but no, totally like I feel like most kids don't talk to their parents because their parents don't hear them and don't listen to them. So why would they?

I think a lot of my friends, for example, whenever they would want to go on a trip or go to a party or do anything they want to do, and they already knew in the back of their head that their parents didn't want them to or we're gone to say no, they go into the conversation to talk about that and express how they're feeling.

And as a kid, I think we all come from the exact scenario where we want to explain why we want to go to this thing or go to this trip, or why we should be able to do this eta. But on the other end, the parents, like candle said, may be listening, but they already have an answer in the back of their head. Their mind is made up.

There is no room for conversation or changing. I think that when kids go into conversations with parents who immediately make up their mind, do not allow for any sort of alterations or our changes to the plan, then you're just set up for failure. Because then IT just turns into sneaking ess and hatred and that resent ment parents and children should not obviously be equal, like parents need to have a little bit of authority over children. But I think what I really appreciated most in a lot, yeah for sure. At the end of the day, like I always felt as a child, like you are equal.

What does that mean? Because I don't think, dad, I ever bought into the parenting philosophy of being your friends.

If I had to summarize the way that we think about parenting is, I think about parenting as though our job is to help you figure out who you are, and that means learning how to think through decisions, learning how to come to terms with your own values, learning the weight of the consequences of decisions, and that the whole point of parenting is for you to grow up and leave and go find somebody that you love as much as dad. I love one another and go build a family and to become more of who you are. And so we were always focused on connection first, correction, dead last. I feel like i'm so open because you guys were so open with me.

Like I feel like I could go to you guys. I could ask you something about your life and you'd tell me there was nothing that you really hit for me. Maybe there was a mabey was just so Young that I didn't really ask, but you were very open, which was super nice.

And I also felt like you guys had my back like a hundred percent of the time no matter what. For example, I want to camp for a month, and I got bullied. And so my mom found out about IT, and he took me out a week early, which felt really nice, because IT showed that SHE cared about how I was feeling, and he understood that. And SHE acted upon IT, which was really helpful for me. And IT showed that SHE also back, and SHE continued to show with that throughout rest of my life.

Oh, that makes me feel so good knowing that you feel that way about me. OK, thanks. yeah. I guess what i'm gathering from this is that he really is about seeking connection with you guys. And that required us to learn how to listen IT required us to learn how to hear your points of view, even though often times what you were saying was stupid or mature, dangerous or rational or emotional or, but still to respect you enough to listen, because we always had guard rules, and there was nothing that you are gonna a do that was gonna dangerous.

We weren't going to let you do anything that was self destructive or destructive other people, and there's nothing that we were ever gonna low you to do or be in a situation that could be dangerous, deadly or discriminatory or against other people. And so while IT might not have seemed like IT, there are guard rails there. And the guard rails were things that dad and I are very, very intense about.

what I think the year guard rails are like around morals and like who we are as human beings, not behavior. Can you give an example, be a kind person, hold the door for people, say thank you, asked the water's name, like you never put up gardens. That we're like activities. Our experiences are things we do is how we are within those experiences are where the .

guard rails are. OK. What about you? Did you feel like if you told the truth, we are analysis. Yeah whenever we told the truth.

we wouldn't get in trouble, which was definitely reinstated because I feel like whatever we we're able to tell the truth and be honest, you d tell us what we did wrong and you tells why I was wrong, but you wouldn't punish us. You are just talk us through IT. But like we lied and we didn't tell you. I'm trying to think if there was anything where I like lied to guys I like didn't tell you guys something I can't .

think about my .

head can think of anything. But there were definitely times I would lie. I wouldn't you the truth, and I would get trouble for that, because lying is wrong. And that's what you ouldn't be doing. By the way, I don't work going to be here a while, but can we like a bathroom break or something like I need to go.

oh my god. Okay, well, we're going to hit the pause will hear from sponsors. And then how do we come back? You is rock.

Okay, cool. Oh, i'm so excited to tell you about one of our sponsors or a friends. I love them.

why? Because like me, you probably took a million photo this year. Oakly graduated from high school. Christ, I went on this unforgettable vacation together. Our family.

He climbed mount katada where the photos, uh, Normally they be on my phone, but not anymore. Why I have an ora digital photo frame. IT sits on my kitchen counter.

I gave one of my parents, it's on their kitchen counter. I gave IT to kendall, who lives in L. A.

oakly. Up in his dorm room, or is a digital frame, looks and feels like a Normal picture frame. But check this out.

You just send photos to IT, and all the sudden your photos are right there everywhere, and IT updates all the time, and your family can update IT I freak love IT. It's the best gift to give yourself. It's the best gift to give everyone else.

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So i've got another question for you. Three, what are some dues and dance that you've seen neither data I do or other parents do candle. Why don't we start with you?

Let your kids figure IT out themselves. never.

We're drinking. And obviously.

honestly, if somebody's .

like gateway drugging their way into heroin or cocaine or becoming an alcoholic at a Young age, like I can bet you that there there is a massive lack of love and appreciation and being heard in, being seen in their household in its probably coming from their parents. Hate to call you guys out, but it's probably come out from their parents.

And you know what? Hold on, candle. Because this issue about addiction is way more complicated, particularly with your age group. There are a lot of kids that get into drugs because of a sports injury, and then they get addicted to the prescription drugs after surgery.

And there's also kids that strugling with mental health issues, and they reach for drugs or alcohol to try to know out. And there's also all of this emerging research about how some of us have addiction running in our family like we do, right? I mean, there's a lot of addiction that runs in this family.

Oh yeah, I think it's a generational issue as well as a genetic one.

Well, that genetic one is really interesting because I was just looking at a brand new study yesterday, Chris, its ground breaking research from mount sni school medicine. They have figured out that there are disruptions in certain pathways of people's brains that may predispose somebody to drug addiction and that are correlated with earlier use of drugs than peers. And so theyve just isolated this new pathway. And so you're absolutely right when IT comes to genetics.

So I don't think, can that you're saying that all parents are responsible if their kids are struggling with addiction? But what I do here is I hear you saying that based on you and your experience watching your peer strugling with these issues, it's cleared to you that they're not talking to their parents about what's actually going on for real, and that someone who struggles with A D feels a lack of love, whether to lack of self love or in some cases, a lack of love from their homework and that's a huge problem. That only makes us worse.

Yes, instead of the like, yeah, you find out that they're doing cocaine. That's terrifying. You've like that. I can't even imagine what that's like as a parent but instead of seeing that in having some rush crazy reaction about like we're throwing all this out, we're putting you into this.

we're putting you into therapy.

What I think would be more impactful is like sitting their kid down and being like, can we have IT like you're not here's a punishment. You're not leaving this table until we actually talk this through because there's GTA be a lot more deep seated issues than just this bag of White powder. The issue is that like parents are just so quick to be like they're so afraid of IT becoming a bigger issue. One like the real issue is the deep seated hurt that the kid is feeling and the love that they not getting.

I can hear how passionate you are because you've seen friends whose parents aren't addressing this head on and they're not talking about the deeper issue, whether that deeper issue is mental health or it's a lack self worth or trauma or addressing the homelife issues that need to be addressed as a family in order to support their child in feeling loved and in getting .

healthy again. I also want to add though that like if the parent is not the actual person to talk to, then a license therapies is. And so it's not searching the house to get rid of all the coke in the weed to make sure they don't have any, because I can assure you, were smart. We can find IT like anywhere.

Well, one thing is clearly, guys, is that these situations are painful and complicated, and when someone you love is struggling with addiction, seeking professional help is critical. I mean, even though we have a solid relationship with you guys, if they were one of you held, Chris, I mean, you recognize that you were struggling with an addiction and you basically you got help.

yeah. I think that I thought long and hard about what I experienced growing up as a child and how my parents party and did their thing, and how IT became habitual, particularly for my dad, who i'm not sure was an alcoholic, but definitely somebody who was high functioning with alcohol. And so I was always around, and that exposure, I think, let me into form my own habits, smoke and potton hit the weed pen. And there was daily and therapy certainly was instrumental in helping me discover some of this and recognize that the that behavior pattern was, in fact, the source of depression.

Then I had no idea. I would have never guessed that I actually so surprised. Like I looking back, I would have never guessed you do that every single day. That's .

insane now. And i'm just really .

proud of you.

Chris, for getting out. Every one of us in this family talks to a therapies. Maybe that's why we get a lot me. We work our self out with somebody who is subjective so that we don't take IT out on each other.

That's also kind of reason that's true. I mean, we have not been a family who has sought out therapy years and years ago. Not that I think any of us ever felt like I was taboo, but IT certainly never occur. Red to me also something maybe generational, like our own parents generation. I don't think things like therapy even popped on the radar for people.

So well, we all got the therapy because of breakdown. We're all doing, at least today, pretty solar. And I think therapy is just a phenomenal gift that you give to yourself because you talk with an objective party about what's going on in your life instead of taking IT out in real time on the people that you care about and you come up with ways to see things connecting, you get greater or self awareness.

You come with strategies and tools. So um i'm glad that were we landed in terms of addressing this question is by underscoring everything by saying, look, if you, starting with anything, take some help, get support, do not try to do this on your own period. H okay, shall we move on to another question? Let's do so.

Let's do on everybody. Let's like the mood, right? We got a question from every i'm listening to the episode. Remo talks about her daughters love life. Dilma with candle.

I have a four year old daughter, and I want her to feel comfortable talking to me about these kinds of issues when she's in college. How do you raise kids who share information about their lives with you? Can you give people a tool that you could use? Candle you wanted?

Take this one. The tool that you can use is a warm and excited and interested invitation to asking your kids about their life and showing genuine interest in their life. And I think that in that, interested like make sure kids want to tell you more in an authentic way.

So what do you think?

I think, continuing to ask and continuing to be interested, continuing to be welcoming is very important, but if they are not like receptive, don't take that as just never asking again. I think continue to ask, continue to be interested, but there are times in life when they will not want to tell you, and you need to be respectful of that. And I think it's when parents often over step and won't stop asking and have to know that that's .

a great point, is that a parent can comfortably B O K with not hearing anything in response. That silence does not need to be misinterpreted as defining and that they're something wrong. But just that .

because asking lets them know we're here, we want to listen. We love you. Just keep asking whether or not you get an answer. That's the answer. Next question.

I have a question from india. And she's worried that she's gonna screw up kid by saying something or doing something wrong. And he wants to know, how do you not do that? One of the things that dad I have done well, as we have screwed up, we have said things wrong, and we are not perfect, but are really fast and good at apologizing and taking responsibility for the things that we do wrong or the things that we realize we regret in hindsight. If you realized you're just a good person and you're doing the best that you can with whatever you got in terms of your own issues and you're quick to take responsibility for them, I think that does show that you're open and you're human and that you're .

trying I agree that do you have anything to say about that?

IT is fascinating to be hearing about like things that we might think we did well or didn't do well.

Yeah, another big thing in jay. I'm sorry if i'm saying your name wrong. Beautiful name by the way um is honest communication as parents be an honest communication with each other and with your kids be an honest communication like what does that?

And i'd feel like you guys were so open and honest in your communication with us and you would always tell us what was going on or why something was happening, or if we asked a question, you always tell us. And I like think that watching you to be onest with one another, like inspires us to want to be honest with you. And another thing too, like under the umbrella of honest communication, is like, I have so many vivid memories of, like growing up as a family, like sitting around the fireplace, or sitting at dinner, or sitting something like gathering.

Like you guys made such a conscious effort, whether you know what or not, to gather us as a family into, just talk about literally whatever that may be, but the fireplace would ever Green to mint food, our our love lives, whatever. Like you made such a conscious effort to like, gather us together and get us all talking and communicating with another that like there were so many times and I was like, I don't want to fuck and talk to guys for forty minutes at the end of dinner. I want to go play the .

pockets up there and you want their clothes but I but .

then but now that i'm at my age, it's like those are the memories that I cherished the most and those are the the moments that I look forward to the most, which are like with the rabbit whole conversations we get down. I'm trying to stay on track with the question, but like making a convenience effort to like talk to your kid and like making IT like a ritual alister thing we're like you talk to them after dinner, you're talking to them in the car and like whether they like IT or not or whether they're showing they don't like IT at that point and maybe they won't. But like I think that they'll really appreciate that in the long .

run because I know we all I think though like under the umbrella of honest communication. I think a massive part of that is vulnerability because I think watching my mom and dad grow up, literally, i've seen my dad, my mom, cry and break down and not be strong and tell us what's going on in their life, how traumatic IT is, how sad, how frustrating, how simple IT may be and be on the ground, sobbing, which I think for a kid is a little bit darling at first, to witness, like your most ideal lizer person as your parent, be weak. But I think that watching our parents sit at the dinner table and ball their eyes out because worked and go well that day, or because they had a hard conversation with a friend and being completely open and honest about IT just essentially made that possible for all of us to do the same. 嗯。

that's really big. When you guys talk about honest communication, most adults forget the kids are truth tellers and you also are lie detectors. And so when you say honest communication, what you're saying is you trusted us because what we were saying matched your felt experience and your actions. In our actions, we tried very much to make sure that if either one of us were truly upset or frustrated or disappointed or sad, that you knew that I wasn't about you, that I was something going on in our lives, that you were not to blame for negative emotions that we were feeling, is that true soil?

Yes, you are very outspoken about that. When, like, you would be in a bad mood or something, you would make sure like, even like the first thing you would save you, like, when you would come in the room, is this is not about you, like this has to do with something else, and then you would continue to be a bitch. But it's fine.

We did do all right if the first born is actually saying that stuff Normally would just be the third born that would pick up on.

I love you guys. I love you too. So far, they take away for me is seek connection because people are going to want to know how like we're talking conceptually.

connection over correction is so big, so big. You will, you will rect your kids through connecting with .

them if you want your kids to be open with you, you have to model being open with them. And that doesn't mean sharing inappropriate things because I don't think you guys should have access to the details about our marriage. That's for dad.

I and so I feel like you have to model openness. You have to talk about what's going on in your life. You have to talk about your feelings. You've got to show your feelings.

I think that you guys showing that your that like at times you are weak, shows that your human IT gives us more space to do that too in being weak, in crying in front of us. Like I think so many parents just try to look so strong and perfect in front of their kids all the time. But it's like by showing your kids that like you guys are also human, like allows your kids to feel those things too as they start to grow up.

I know so many of my friends till this day as a twenty three old, a lot of them have been like, I ve never seen my parents cry ever. And not saying that you need to walk down stairs and ballet rise up, ever got them today, but like not showing your true emotion to your kids is sad and not real life, honestly. yes. And I think that hiding that from your kids in putting on a smile every single day makes a kid feel like they can't have a bad day.

Yeah, i'd say it's especially infantile for guys. I feel like there's this stigma around man, where they hide their true motion. And when you're growing up and you look toward your father, I mean, there's a huge relationship there and you learn a lot and you take a lot from your father.

And I mean, of course, your mothers influential, he's not a guy, so you relate more to your dad. So when you're able to see your dad cry and show weakness, that makes you feel like it's OK to do that. And so whenever we were eating dinner as a kid and I saw my dad cry, I was never filled with like, oh, it's so sad this crying.

I was like, I love that I just crying right now. What do you love about you? I just like, like open here, and just like how I don't know, is able to express themselves openly. Like, I love to cry because of him, because of everybody.

but I love to cry. So you see, what do you see showing your emotion as a guy, as a strength? Yes.

hundred percent. You can't just like bottle up your emotion that day is not healthy.

Is that why you're so self aware and expressive? You .

think maybe, I don't know, but no idea. yes.

So what impact is, is that on you in terms of who you've become?

I think you've doesn't become a more open person because i've seen my dad be so open with us. Um i've had that influence from him showing me that like, hey, a really respectable person is somebody who can be open and show who they are.

Have you ever cried in front of friends?

We got, I cry everywhere. You do not everyone. I don't cry.

Okay, I don't cry that much. But like, I can cry in front of anybody. I'm not ashamed of IT. I love to cry, cry, crying rocks. And like the rain, after I cry.

I can relate to that. You know, I also think that a lot of parents believe that you just gotto stay strong, because that is what make kids feel safe. And what I hear you saying that actually, when you see them being human, IT makes you know that you can be human too.

It's like a strength yeah hundred. That's totally it's real day. What source says like you're not breaking down every single night in front your kids like I feel like at that point I want to begin somehow.

But you know if you're breaking down .

like every so often, like perfect, amazing, like you're showing that but if you're like the dinner table crying everything all night, like time to go to therapy .

holy it's like honest feeling and communication like yeah alright.

let's move on to the next question but take away don't be a dictator. Just be yeah .

connection over correction. All right. Speaking of connection, I personally need to connect with a snack. So our family is going to take a break list or short twards for our sponsors. And we got a really great question.

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All right, welcome back. We're still sitting here on the couch. And right?

Yeah, we're on the couch. Okay, here are a great neck now.

Now were refueled. And lets go to this question from Christian. So her daughters are teenagers and SHE writes, they've stop connecting with me the way they used to, and they're often behind close doors or staring at their phone. And i'm vous of the connection that you have with your daughters in particular. How can I get my teenage daughters to open up .

to me first? And for most Christian, there's gonna be days when they are gonna to be locked up their rooms on their phone and you're just gonna to keep a smile and face on keep keep going like know that it's not personal at all. There is a long ask moment in all of our lives, especially as teenage girls that, like your friends, are more important than your family. That's just how IT goes in your development, that just how what happened.

So and I have both felt that simultaneously, but I think like something that I wouldn't see my mom and my dad didn't do, but I wish they would have done more of is like had more fun with us in those ages, like made experience happen between me, sir, and my mom, that like both soil and I would have so much fun doing, like going to paint pottery together and then going to c PK because their food booking slaps, they are like, you know mean like going to the mall and going shopping. You're like girls today we're going to go to the pump kin patch. And if you want to bring your friends, bring your friends like, I think like showing that you care about your daughters and their friends, but also making time for the three of you to have fun together, like those memories will just be like, so Crystalized in .

their minds. Guy, I didn't do that enough.

I completely grew candle as a teenage girl. I was angry, i'm axy, and I literally SAT up in my room as soon as I got home from sports and did my homework, went to bed and then went to school. And on the weekends, there was no time for family. I was just friends. And that, like candle said, is honestly a phase in life.

And as they grow older, I can assure you that family does become more important, especially in college, when you move away and you realize that, oh my god, i'm not living with them all the time, I get to go see them and that day will come instead of just waiting for that day to come. I completely agree with candle in creating experiences that you know, your kids will enjoy, especially your daughters, creating experiences that involve their hobby, their interests. If they like horse book writing, take them to horse book rating show. They like shopping, take them on a shopping trip, something like that like.

and including their friends and those plans, I think like you, I think you did a really take a job of like I know I hosted a lot more than so you did at our house. But like you were so both of you were so great about like you want to be around me but if that means that i'm not going to be present with you but i'll be outside with my friends so be at like you are so good about that. And I think that's a huge thing for parents like if they want to be with their friends, like and you want to be with them, like letting your kids know that, like you play your house and I know that not everyone homes can accommodate date, like lots of friends and stuff. But if you have a space where you can invite your kids to be with their friends, that huge, and they will keep bringing their friends back like I did.

And I just want to highlight that we did not have some big house. In fact, we do even have a basement that the kids could hang out. And because IT was dirt and scary and spider webbing, and you couldn't even stand up straight in the thing.

We had no playroom, we didn't have some big backyard with a pool, but we did have a yard and we had a garage and the kids had bedrooms. And so I just wanna say you don't have to have a big house. If you got a room that the friends can hang out in, if you got a front yard or a park across the street, you got a place for your kids and their friends together.

Alright, here's a question from ufa. As a mom of two girls, daughters and a son who still at home, I feel very regretful. I wish I could have done things differently.

And now i'm seeing my screw pts play out in their lives and IT overwhelms me and brings me to my knees. Es, and yes, I tell myself you did the best you could with what you knew. But that only gets me so far, because I know in my god, I could have been doing things way differently.

And yet I kept repeating the same things because I was stuck in patterns. How is parents? Can we find peace now that our eyes are wide open about the mistakes that we made, and actually start building a bridge back to our kids? Again.

I think this is a question for the both of you.

Wait, no, I actually have an answer. Tell them yes.

Tell your kids how you're feeling.

It's never too late to like build a beautiful relationship with them. I know that like i'm very lucky to be a part of the Roberts family, but like everybody that spent requesting in sending in questions for my mom, like tell your kids you're feeling this way. That is the most important thing you can do IT makes them feel so much more seen when you just tell them. Like imagine how I would feel if you just told your kid I want to connect with you. And I feel like I fucked up a little bit in the past.

It's incredible. And I often think that the most profound advice is right in front of our face. And it's true. I instead of talking to your girlfriends or your spouse, go straight to your dog kids and say, like, I really regret that I didn't do more with your friends. I regret that I was not around as much as I would have like to have been.

I regret that we were struggling so badly financially that I couldn't afford to do those things and so IT does make me sad but it's one of the reasons why i'm like, oh, note to self, instead of trying to drag your kids closer to you, if you want to be closer, kids go to them, go to them where they, you set hobby soil. Like, don't make them do the shit that you like to do. Go do with your kids what they like to do, even if you don't like their friends, invite their friends to be with you, because then your your child is gonna run to hang with you.

I think also going off that, the perfect example that I can think of is, like, oakly is really into video games and used to be a gamer. Well, he is a gamer. But like, no, i've used to be A A gamer and my dad is not. He doesn't play video games, but he brought him to a video game conference and they had an amazing time and bonded. And I think that that was so special because my dad is not sitting with, okay, playing video games for eight hours every day. But the fact that he can, but the fact that he can, like, take you to a conference and bone with you that way, even though video games is not his top of mind interest, is the perfect example with diving into your kids lives, even into something that makes you feel uncomfortable or just know nothing about.

I was honest, a really cool experience, because I don't even remember, like asking dad to do with fun. And so I think we just like went, we walked around and we like, looked at all these boots, and we like played games together. And like, IT was a really cool and like fun experience. And I doubt will always remember that I was like, really cool seeing him take interest in my life like that. Like felt nice because IT also made me feel like what I was doing was like, okay like there wasn't something wrong with what I enjoyed because, like he was willing to be like, well, it's to go do something about that which felt really nice at the time.

Do you think a lot of parents make the mistake of forcing their kids to do things that they like instead of letting their kids be themselves? Yes.

yes. I think a lot of parents, sports is a big one. There are a lot of life lessons and values in, like making your kids play sports. But like our parents made oakly play literally .

every single for another .

on from dynastic CS to diving to soccer till across. And like he would play every single sport for half a season, he hated every single one of them.

And my parents would pull him out and be like, what do you want to try next? And he would tell them, and I mean, you can speak on this more because this was your experience, but I think what you guys have mattered is, like you brought us into the world, not so you could live through us, but so we could be our own people. And you have master the art of like teetering between letting us be your own person and not being a fuck up.

And I think a lot of parents bring their kids into the world so they can live through them. And in doing that, make them play soccer until their bones are, make them get straight days because that's what they wish they would do. Make them do this. Make them do that until like they don't even know who the fuck they are by the time they're two. And obviously, they're not connected to their parents and they don't know who they are. But what I think a lot of you guys listening to this podcast, what I would advise you to do is like figure out how IT feels for you and what that looks like for you to bring somebody into the words so they can be their own person, not so you can make them be somebody that you wish you might have been, might drop those phenomenon.

Yeah, that basically was IT. okay. Eighteen year old college freshman hates where he is.

She's a long term boring friend who went to another college two hours away a month before he left for college, he wanted to switch to the college boy from his attending without even touring. IT, what do we do? Because SHE loved college before he went.

And then, as mom says, shake got real IT orientation. And now he wants to leave because he, quote, doesn't like college and has IT met friends. What do you say to your kid who does not like freshman fall of college?

So I feel like you should handle this one.

All right.

let me just tell you something. This is the story of my life. This is exactly what happened to me.

Um, word for word. I had a boyfriend at the time who went to university of michigan. I went to boston college.

I was obsessed with that. I was so excited to O. I was proud to be an eagle.

I showed up and immediately didn't see the raw maternity orties. I didn't have a massive friend group. I had one friend who I met, a orientation. And literally for the entire year, he was my only friend. I was miserable.

I SAT in my room every single day, bowling my eyes out, begging my parents to come pick me up because I didn't want to be there. I tried to take all the steps in which I thought would be the best way to meet people, eat a, make friends, and I didn't connect with literally anyone. Another part of that is I completely relate to the high school boyfriend who is at an other college.

All you want to do is be with them. You just take off and amazing senior summer. But my advice you is, he has to stay for a year SHE. I really .

believe this .

because for my entire freshman year was horrible, and I do have to put that out there. But I went back because I didn't know where I wanted to transfer, although I wanted to transfer. And I had the best year of my entire life, my soft more year.

That was solely because my parents forced me to stay. They said, you need to stick IT through. And I honestly grew as a person so much that entire year because I was in pain, uncomfortable trying to meet new people, all of which brought me to the best people in the world at boston college well.

and also brought you to the best version of yourself. See, this is an example of guard rails. If you always allow your kid to bounce from one situation that makes them uncomfortable, what's going to happen is their anxious increases.

And so here's what you do in that situation. You can say, I hear you that is hard. And if you're that miserable, here's what you can do about IT. You can put all that negative energy into applications and figuring out what you're going to do next.

And so acknowledge what your child is feeling, validate their experience that is so important to that they feel seen and heard, and then make them focus on coming up with a solution. You know, I did the same thing with your brother and sports. You hated pop Warner football.

okay? I ve even not want to .

play football. I know, I know I forced to do IT and when you kept in, I don't want to do this, I said, I get IT and you don't have to play all year.

I didn't play all. I was a bunch warming.

Well, that's sure you didn't play when you were buying, but at the end of the season, we allowed you to quit, but we made you stick IT out. And then do you remember what the deal was? If we if you quit the sport.

I pick the new one.

Do you mean what you pick next?

diving? correct? I was a chap at.

yes, you, I am still. And then you picked another one. And you know, one of the things that I always say to you guys, even though I know you make fun, amy, all the time, you know, my favorite doing.

no try, no.

Do you want me to sten.

give you address, correct.

And nine times out of ten.

you pick, listen.

because you guys don't want advice, you just want me to listen. So so I think the bottom line is don't rescue your kids as much as you may want to do not let them just bounce from college or bounce from a sport or bounce from a situation because they're nervous when you make them face IT. You know your telling your kid you're saying, I believe you have the strength to face things that are really hard.

You're saying you have with a new even though this situation blows and that makes you feel uncomfortable, you're stronger than this situation. And you also are saying to somebody, i'm not going to make you torture yourself, but I believe that you're able to figure out an alternative if you really hate IT that much face IT stay with IT and spend your free time either transferring to a new school and filling out the applications and figuring that out. And I will support you through that or figure out what other sport do you want to play, what are you going to replace this with because, you know, you can grow through these situations and how you show up as a parent will either teach your kid that they can't face uncertainty or they should just quit when things get hard, or you're teaching them how to become a problem solver. You know, in fact, your cousin is going through this right now.

SHE is also.

you always said when I was complaining that I had no friends freshman year. In terms of the solutions, for an example of a solution is my mom is used to say, well, why didn't you just go knock on someone's door or why don't you instagram, dm, to D, M, someone to get lunch and at first I always said, no, that's so weird. I'm not going to do that like I have no friends but then I started to get desperate and I started taking her advice, and I actually worked.

Final question, we do not like the person that are eighteen year old is stating on a couple of occasions they have been rude to my husband and ever since seeing them, SHE doesn't talk to us like I used to. I don't trust this person. I don't think there are a good fit for my child. What do I do?

Sorry, i'm not let you meditate on this one while I take the wheel right now. Um I .

what do you not do?

What you should not do is make your daughter, or your son or your child feel as though they cannot bring the significant other over. Because I think as somebody that was in a relationship that was very healthy and loving in in high school, I watched my sister in a relationship that I know SHE was happy in for a while. But I think towards the end, whatever IT ended for a reason.

But I watched her shut down whenever we would talk about how we felt like they weren't a good fit or we felt like maybe SHE wasn't herself around him. And I think that the more and more you talk about how you don't like the sydney fiant other more and more your daughter is gone to pull away you need. She's out of phase in her life. She's with this person for a reason.

If it's not love, it's a lesson she's onna learn something from IT as long as he is safe and there's no abuse going on telling her that SHE can't be with him, telling her but all this stuff like it's only gonna sh her further away from you and I think that like again, honest and open communication talk to her, tell her we love you, but we feel like you're not yourself around this person. Is there a reason? Why is there anything we can do?

Did you hear that from us?

Sorry, I heard because I think we said .

that the question is whether you heard us say that.

So the thing is, is when I was in this physio and you were very open in all this, made IT very clear that you guys really enjoy him all the stuff. And I think what I heard when you would say things along the lines of I don't think this relationship is necessarily great for you anymore. You are not yourself around him, which I think is our biggest take away.

And they always phrase the conversation less about him and more about how I was and who I want to be and who I meant to be. And he was not making that possible for whatever reason. And I think that by my parents always framing the conversation and putting IT back on me, rather than blaming IT all on mike boyfriend at the time, I I did obviously .

make me .

pull away at a bit in the moment. But those conversations, essentially, they always stayed in my mind. I wasn't actively listening.

But in the back of my mind, whenever I was with him, after those conversations, in the back, my mind I would be questioning, is this right? Is this not right? I really love him. He makes me feel comfortable. I accept up.

But then in the back of my mind, I would consider, yes, but whom I, and by framing the conversation towards your daughter, rather than putting all the blame on the boyfriend, I think that that obviously might not make her immediately and things. But at the same time, I will stick with her forever. I can show you that.

So I got two things from that. Number one. Again, let's go back to one of the huge takeaway. Do not drag your kids to you, go to them. So being super welcoming, even if you don't like the person, um I realized the rudeness is a hard thing to deal with. If that's the situation, if they're not in a dangerous situation, I think the more you can make them feel welcome at your place, do things with them, take them out to dinner, the more you got eyes on them, the more you have a Better handle on the situation and they're never gonna to hang out with you if you're super judge. And I thought that dad nice because I actually really like to we're talking about I just didn't like who you were in IT because you changed.

I think I was in a relationship for about a year and a half and I was a great relationship, was very healthy. But I would say that I was not myself around my family. There was a lot of, I don't know sneathy, this is the right word, but I definitely, my biggest goal in that relationship was like to make sure that he was comfortable and he was happy.

And SHE would tend to become like uncomfortable in certain situations. Most of those situations involved being around my family. So I whenever SHE come over, I would basically hide her away in my room because I didn't wanted to feel uncomfortable.

And I was going out of my way to make sure he was comfortable. And I remember I had so many conversations with you guys about how I was like, different. And like you, there was nothing wrong, but you want to hang out with us more. You felt like you still didn't really know her. And I think throughout the hometown relationship, like those thoughts never left my mind like, so I was saying like they were always in the back.

Thank you for sharing.

I thank you. Thank you.

What I was going to say is, I think, like I said before, as somebody that was in the opposite of that kind of relationship, me in my high school boyfriend didn't left my man alone. But I would witness you guys always having conversations with soyer. And I witnessed some of the conversations you had with, okay, just like.

About the significant other and about how these two were being in that relationship. And I think like back to the whole honest communication thing, like you would always have these conversations, non judgmental conversations with both of my siblings to the point where he did, like you were open and honest about how you felt and how you were noticing their behavior change. But like IT was never judgmental. IT was never like you need to break up with him.

You you need to do this to the point we're like, I think IT almost made them feel more comfortable talking to about IT because like then when solar would have issues with this guy or oakly would have issues with his girlfriend like he, they would still come and talk to you because they know that he wouldn't be like, well, that was you're time to break up with them. You have to break up with them. You would just be like, okay, how are you feel like like.

you know what I mean, I don't get the answer like that was .

so you were .

like that I feel like you are White whenever he had issues like.

I don't know, I stores stores experience no.

I agree. I think that what and obviously, once again on the older child, so I was the first radio, but I think that what happened was at first, IT was very, oh, well, I don't think you are, should speed together, like, I think you should break up over powering. And then I think they sense that I was pulling away.

And then all of a sudden they made a flip. And I was constantly like, oh, what are you? And so and so up to tony, like you guys are more than welcome to come back over and hang out here like we'd love to see him, we'd love to see you.

We can cook you dinner. And I think that, unfortunately, I had already seen the first side of things. So I was already self conscious about how they felt eta. And like, oakly hid him away in my room every time we hung out. But I I do, I I did really appreciate the shift in communication and understanding of where I was coming from.

You did that. You create a little like hide out for her boyfriend.

No, no. Relations were .

together.

One, al, one. I think this is important given the rise of mental health issues right now in middle schools. We're not sure why, but our twelve year old daughter is being excluded from a friend group.

I often hear crying in a room, but when I talk to her about IT, SHE won't tell me anything. What do I do? That's a hard.

but you could are relating to her, like telling her, like opening up to her first and then seeing your show respond like that. Because I feel everybody as the situation in their middle school, high school days were like something shooting happens in a friend group but I feel like if you go to her and you're like, look, I noticed that like something is going on your friend group like when I was so and so age like this happened to me and at me make her feel more inclined to say something.

I think another thing too, is when you do brach the conversation, like, even if she's like, very quick to not say anything back to you, like, make IT very clear that like you're just there to listen and you just wanna be there for her and that you're not onna do anything because I think a lot of middle colors are petrified that if I tell my mom that i'm getting bullied, she's gonna and yelled all the bullies and then i'm going to get bullied triple the amount of times i'm already getting bullied.

So like, make IT clear to her. Like I will not be telling your teachers, telling, scolding anybody like I am your team ate and whatever you need me to be, I will be for you but please just let me be there for you. I think that last .

birds genius, promise you're not gona .

do anything about IT just promise you're gonna listen, if you could tell .

parents listening. Just any behavior change specifically that they could adopt today that would help them create a Better relationship with their kids? what? What are something that you could do specifically that would really help?

One thing, stop grounding your kids. I can assure you, IT doing nothing but make them want to retreat and do the complete opposite of what you're telling them not to do.

What should they do instead?

Honestly, honestly, like have the conversation and explain why IT upset you and why I made you frustrate with why they did IT. And if IT happens again, then let's discuss IT then and then we can talk about a punishment.

But all my friends, you sik at grounded, and as soon as their, quote, punishment are grounding ended, they would go the second they were ungrounded, they would go straight to the party and they would go straight to doing double the amount that they are doing before. So I can assure you, grounding, please just stop IT. Really, really, i've never seen at work on anyone.

I would say, be vulnerable with your children. Cry in front of them. Be sad in front of them, be happy in front, like emote in front of them in a real authentic way like how you would with your own friends in people in your age. I think that's like you're just showing them that you're human like that's what they're trying to be too.

I would definitely say just like just be there for your kid, like be there back up, always let them know that you have there back and you're going to be there to help them whatever they need IT, no matter what.

I think another thing that we talked about earlier is make sure that when you are with your kid and you're listening to the your kid, you make IT very, very clear that what they say to you will go nowhere. And that means not to your spouse, not to your friend, not to your dog, literally anyone. IT is just between youtube because I can assure you IT feels so invalidate to tell a parent something, even say I tell my mom something. And then the next day my dad comes to me and ask if i'm okay about that like that doesn't feel good because I felt like I was in a trust circle with her, and I just wanted heard to know that. And so I really think that making sure your kid knows that it's just gonna stay between you two and then IT actually does, and then you don't go on your walk with all your girlfriends the next day and explain your kid's biggest issue is seriously crucial.

All we're saying is just be a human being to them like, you know, different now that you're a parent. I mean, obviously, yes, you are different of a lot more responsibility, ie. S but you still are made of the same chemicals and feel the same emotions.

Like, why would you turn that off? They want to see that too. That's the most important thing you can do is be a human. B, U.

if I had the bottom line at, the most important thing is seeking connection over correction, because that's what we all want. We want to feel connected. We want to feel understood.

We want to feel like we matter. And I want to thank you guys. I know you want to get out of here. I appreciate you sticking around this long and thought fully, answering everybody's questions.

And for you listening, I really hope that this is one of those episodes that you can share with your family, or your parents or your kids, or your brothers or sisters. And IT will help you create a deeper connection, and IT will inspire you to talk through some of these topics too. I can't wait to hear your reaction to this official.

Thank you so much for being here with us. In case nobody else tells you today, let me tell you, I love you. I believe in you, and I believe in your ability to create a Better life and to deepen the connections with the people that matter too much. Thanks for being here. I'll see in a few days.

Well, hello, i'm going to hit record before we even start. Andrea, i'm learning. Check me. I think is this recording .

like we've been .

rolling for now or now let's go.

I have to go again. Yes, OK, we stop .

leaning on the cords, everyone. Yeah.

all I need you to pay attention. Oak, for a second. That's going to sound great in the mike.

What are you going? Thank you. Are we going to do that? I love you.

No, goodbye. okay. We're going to huddle everybody. We do a family huddles. Oh, and one more thing I know, this is not a bleepers. This is the legal language.

You know what the lawyers, right? And what I need to read to you. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. I'm just your friend.

I am not a license therapies, and this pocket is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional. Got IT good. I'll see in the next episode. stitcher.

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