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cover of episode How to Handle Negative People: 6 Strategies to Protect Your Peace

How to Handle Negative People: 6 Strategies to Protect Your Peace

2023/4/3
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
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Veronica
Topics
Veronica: 在工作和生活中,如何应对那些通过邮件或其他方式表达负面情绪的人,避免被其影响? Mel Robbins: 面对负面情绪的邮件,首先要意识到对方可能并非故意针对你,尝试理解其背后的原因。负面情绪具有传染性,我们需要保护自身的能量。可以通过‘4-7-8’呼吸法放松身心,或者使用‘雪球’策略,将负面情绪的人想象成困在雪球里,他们的负能量不会影响到你。当他人发脾气时,他们难以承受自身的负面情绪,理解他们的处境,并尝试以积极的态度回应。生活中总会遇到负面的人和事,要学会保护自身能量,不受其影响。 Kay: 在充满压力的工作环境中,如何改善工作状况,并应对负面情绪? Mel Robbins: 工作中的负面人,特别是管理者,会严重影响你的身心健康。你可以选择‘雪球’策略,或者直接与对方沟通,表达你的感受,并设定界限。如果情况严重,可以寻求HR的帮助。面对那些总是抱怨和负面的人,可以尝试利用互惠原则,用善意和赞美来改善关系。 Mel Robbins: 八卦有害身心健康,应避免八卦行为。停止八卦的策略:只谈论在场的人。积极的能量具有强大的影响力,可以改善他人的生活。要积极地表达爱意和感激之情,散播正能量。

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Mel Robbins discusses the importance of protecting your energy from negative people and shares a story about dealing with an entitled person at a hotel.
  • Negative people can drain your energy like a muddy dog shaking off dirt.
  • It's crucial to protect your energy in situations where others are projecting their negativity.

Shownotes Transcript

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Hey, is your friend melt. And today you and I talking about how to be a force for good. So get ready for a fun and energizing episode of the male Robin.

H, I am so excited for today i'm melt Robins. I'm in new york times best selling author and one of the world's leading experts on change and motivation and habits. And today I am bringing IT because we've got an important topic.

I even put on a blazer and now i'm starting to overheat and so i'm a get comfortable table. You can help me take him a blazer off. Because we're not going to be serious.

But we are talking about a serious issue today. We are talking about how you can protect yourself from other people's bad moods, how you deal with annoying co workers. And boy boy, we have a juicy question at the end of this from the last about gossip.

And i'm so excited because, you know, we all have stories about dealing with people who are energy suckers. And I am bring some stories today, but I want to make sure that you leave with some tools. And so one, you're going to learn how to put up an energetic force field.

Two, we're going to talk about strategies for how you protect yourself from other people's baloney. And three, i'm going to teach you how to keep yourself in a positive mood because that means no matter what's going on around you, you can protect your own energy even when people are testing your patients are trying to success your energy dry. So let's jump write in with a question from a listener name.

Hi man. It's frana in the workplace. And i'm sure in other spaces too, I find that there are some people who, whether they are concious of IT or not, project their panic and anger in emails and communications, which more often than that turns my fine day into panic and anger as well. They are people who kind of bring the house down with them. How can you hear they are saying and not be emotionally affected by IT?

Thank you for onic. That example of the emails where you can hear the edge in somebody's voice. And you're just like, why are you doing verbal diary at me right now through this email? Because you would not speak to me this way.

And I have this story. So I was in los Angeles last week, and we were checking in at the front desk and this woman comes puffin, puffin from the elevators. okay? And she's she's doing that kind of walk where people are really hustling and shuffling on the floor and their elbows are really pointed, like they are trying to pump their arms to make them walk even faster and with more authority.

And he had this high pony. IT was swinging in the air, and SHE had a really fancy piece of luggage. SHE was dragging and double fle bag.

And then there was a woman behind her kind of puffin, and up and behind her two. And they walk right up next to us at the front desk and SHE kind of slams her hands on the table as chron. I are in the mud of talking to the woman who is checking us in.

Now keep in mind the woman who is checking us. It's probably nine fifteen at night. Los Angeles. He looks like she's probably twenty four.

And I assume given that I have a twenty four year old and a twenty two year old doctor, that he is probably a recent college grad who is major in hospitality and now he is in a two year program where he is working in a hotel in a city SHE doesn't live in and she's got that kind of big blazes er around that doesn't fit quite right and you can tell the cheese exhausted. And so I got this coffee coffee annoying woman next to me who is clearly entitled and she's angry. What is SHE angry about? Oh, well, the doors to her balcony, they don't close all the way.

I didn't even know there were balconies on the rooms in this hotel. I mean, i'm not in that kind of room. So SHE starts like then at this woman venting at this twenty four year old woman and a hospitality program who does not have the authority to do anything, who is clearly exhausted and who, by the way, is not responsible for for the door to your balcony not working.

And so why are you d vomiting on this poor gal? And you could see the life force just drain out of this woman who is standing at the front desk and SHE apologized. He said he would get the manager who wasn't in and we'd be in in the morning.

And then the woman pushed and SHE puff, what would you going to do right now? I can see, I can't stand people like this. There is no reason not to be kind of other people. There is no reason not to ask for help in a polite manner because the people that you're asking for help from almost never a responsible for the thing that's not working and the person that email in you at work who's all frustrating because the q four numbers in the in the company 嘟 嘟嘟嘟嘟 like you're not responsible for the stuff that .

stressing them out。

And so here's what I did in that moment, because a couple things happened in that story. Number one, that woman's bitchy behavior and entitlement, it's like contagious. And when somebody y's yelling at you, whether it's an email or you're separated by the front desk at the hotel that you're working at, IT still gets all over you.

I think about the visual almost like if you've ever walked your dog and they jump into like muddy water or they roll in the mud or heaven forbid, you walking on the beach and there's a big nasty rotting fish on the beach in your dog runs right up to IT before you can get to the dog and know your dog is rolling all in IT, it's ww and then they run over to you. And what is a wet thirty dog? Always do when that dog gets up to you, they shake.

And when they shake, all of that negative, nasty, muddy fish bb babb IT just take you. And when somebody is in a positive or a nasty mood, it's like a muddie dog shaking and that energy gets all over you. And so it's critical in these moments that you protect your energy.

And for me, I Normally speak up when I see this kind of thing because Normally I have really great energy and i'm not going to let somebody get away with that. But the truth is, I was really tired. I just found across country and we were in town to do something that was waiting on my mind.

And I just didn't want to to get into a fight with somebody who clearly had an externally with absolutely anybody. I'm not gona change this person anyway. And so what I do in those moments when I started seeing that muddy dog shake or the high pony tales start flap in her mouth and in being rude is, number one, I take a deep breath. I said, I just take a deep breath.

And there is a breath technique that you can use called four, seven, eight. I don't remember who came up with this. We will put them in the shower notes, but you breathe in for four seconds.

Hold IT for seven, then out for IT. And I read somewhere that the eight part is the most important, because when you breathe out for longer than you breathe, and IT sends a signal to your nervous system that is OK to relax. And the four, seven, eight breathing technique will start the relaxation response in your body.

And so if you get that all cap text from a friend, or you get that really rude email from a colleague. Or you're standing somewhere in public and some jerk is a nilar the person and you just don't have the energy to go hey, you know you don't have to be rude about IT do the four, seven, eight breathing technique to signal the relaxation response in your body to protect your energy. I have a second tactic that I love.

Oh my gosh, I love this. Here's the visual. I use this all the time. In fact, I just use this in a different situation. Last night, I caught the snow globe.

So have you ever had a snow globe as a kid? You know, it's this glass ball, and in IT is usually some sort of scene. So imagine holiday tree, some rain deer, something like that.

Or you could think about cinderellas palace at disney. They probably have snow globes with cinda. Rella is palace at this night, right?

What happens when you pick up a snow globe and you shake IT? All of that crap in IT starts flying around. You know what that crap is? It's like that wet dog mode. Think about a snow globe the next time you are around. Anybody who gives you attitude?

Because when you picture the person like the chick with the high pony tale, trapped in our own little snow globe, and here SHE is bitching and barkin about soft man in her negative energy. If you've hitched her having her tantrum in a snow globe, let me have to hear. And all of that Sparkly stuff is what get shaken up.

And all the negative energy, if you visualized her inside the snow globe, you can laugh later. And IT doesn't get on you. This is something I use all the time.

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Welcome back. I ml. Robins. And we're talking about ways to protect yourself from negative energy. And I just shared one of my favorite strategies, the snow globe strategy.

I use IT all the time because IT is so simple, it's effective and you can pull IT out the moment you needed. In fact, I used IT just a few days ago. Here's what happened.

I was at a coffee shop again at another airport, and we were standing in line and we ordered coffee, and they were super, super busy. And IT was taking a long time. We had twenty minutes for the flight, was gona leave.

And Chris was getting testy with me because he's the kind of person, my husband, that we have, the opposite travel languages. My travel language is, be the last person on the plane, get to the gate as late as possible without missing the plane. Spend as little time in the airport as possible.

Chris, on the other hand, he basically likes to stroll through an airport. He likes to sit at the gate for a while and get comfortable and read his book, and enjoys coffee. He loves getting there early, and so we have the exact opposite travel language.

He has agreed to stand in this long line with me to get a cup p of coffee. He's starting to get agitated, not quite snow globe, agitated. But you know, you can tell he's getting nervous and his coffee comes out.

And so I said, why did you take IT and go and hold the plan for me will be right there. So he leaves and not taking a minute and another minute and another minute. And I start to realize, holy cow, i'm going to miss this plane.

And so I go to the counter and I say to the woman whose they are really busy. I mean, you can tell SHE stressed and I just need informed, say, hey, is the the dream for mal about to be done? Because otherwise i'm going to just have to, you know say give IT to somebody and SHE like he had a tantrum.

I'm doing the bus my hand see when somebody throws a tantrum. Here's what I know. What I know is they are having trouble tolerating all the negative emotion that they are feeling.

This woman behind the counter is feeling a tonk pressure. She's behind. She's frustrated.

I'm sure other people have been rude to her. And I questioned her. IT was the straw that broke the camel back.

SHE just couldn't handle the negativity and the stress anymore in her body. And so SHE had a antero SHE exploded to me. Whatever she's allowed to have a time term, it's a stressful job. I get IT.

And because I can picture her inside her own little snowy globe, having her own little tantrum, all the Sparkly stuff flying and all around here that her negative energy IT stays inside the snow globe, I said, no problem, totally understand. And I left and went to my plane. And you know what, I didn't let us bother me.

And that's the beauty of these strategies. See, there are always going to be people and situations in life that are triggered. The world is full of jerks and people who cannot tolerate their own emotional experience.

And when you do the four, seven, eight breathe to trigger a relaxation response inside yourself, you take control when you visualize the colleagues sitting behind their desk and they're pump on on their keyboard, having their own little tantrum in their little cubicle inside their little snows globe, you protect yourself. And that way, these emotional vampyres that drain you and your energy, they don't impact you. And this is so important because when you look at the research around human connection, our brains are programmed to connect with other human beings.

That's how are wired. It's part of our biology, our physiology. We want meaningful bonds. Because when we do that, and not only feels good, but your brain releases oxytocin, which is a wonderful, feel good chemical in your brain and rewards that kind of thing. And if we feel disconnected, we feel unsafe.

In fact, if we're around somebody else who's stressful or weird, or hostel like the chick with the pony tail, do you know what happens? Your brain releases yet another chemical, the stress warmond. And so you immediately not only sense that sutton off with this person, but you also have this chemical physiological response.

I think that's why we often you label people's behavior as toxic or iki or gross, because IT feels that way to you, just like a dog that is shaking and gets their muddle over you. And I think we know common sense wise, the people's mood and energy or contagious. But there is a new study by scientists at oxford and birmingham versions that show that bad mood, they're not only contagious, they're more infectious than good mood.

And on top of all of this, your brain has something called myr neons. Mirror ons are amazing because what they do is in nano seconds, they process and register any human beings. Facial expression, body language, tone of voice is absolutely unbelievable.

Your mira neurons make you start to mere the same emotions as the people around you. This is why when you're watching a movie and that sort of sap music comes on or somebody in the movie starts to cry, your mira neons are Better trigger ing you to start willing up to. They also work for the positive.

If you look at somebody ee to eye, and you hold eye contact and you flash a huge toothy smile, IT takes less than five seconds for the mirror on in the person who you are looking at and smiling at to kick in, and that person will not be able to help themselves but smile back. And this is important for you to know, because IT works both for the good, you can catch really good energy. And when IT comes to bad energy, that's easier to catch. Now I want to go a layer deeper and dig in to how to deal with this, specifically at work, with a question from a listener name. K.

hi, man. It's kay. I want to become the power to improve my work situation. So I want to ask you about unhealthy work environments and the side effects they manifest. Where should I start making changes?

Well, one thing I want to acknowledge really quickly is that you do have the power to change us, because positive energy is also very contagious. And if you protect your energy, you can take proactive steps to call people out on their behavior. That's we're going to talk about now.

And I want to bring a study into this because there is a new study by the workforce institute at U. K. G.

That found that sixty nine percent of people say that their managers have the greatest impact on their mental health, that their managers had the same level of impact on their mental health as their partner or spouse at home. Now this was more than the impact that their doctor or therapies had on their mental health. And this was a huge study.

They looked at three thousand, four hundred people across ten countries. And so you are right, negative people at work, particularly a manager, really bad for your mental health because you can't fix them. So in these situations at work, you have a couple choices.

Number one, we've already talked about the snow globe. This one works like a charm, because IT allows you to visualize the tantrum and IT makes you feel a little bit Better than the person, honestly. Ep, so that's one thing. A second thing that you can do is you are allowed to call people out on this behavior in the first question that we got, you heard the example of somebody getting a really rude email.

There's nothing wrong with picking up the phone or walking down the hall and saying, hey, someone going on with you because I don't know if you know how the tone of the email comes across, but IT doesn't feel good and most people, when you call them out on that and you kind of start off with, hey, is something going on with you because this isn't like you and the town is really demeaning and is there something you want to tell me? Or are you aware that this is like how you're speaking to people? That is the way that you can call somebody out.

And obviously, if you have somebody that is engaging in this consistently documented, go to hr because you shouldn't be under a garage of that kind of abusive language or demining language or unnecessary pressure, that's not why you're in your job. And so you can go to H, R. But you know, you can walk down the hall, you can pick up the phone and you can say, i'm more than happy to help you with these things, but only if you speak to me a respectful manner.

And this is not respectful, and I sorry, you're having a bad day, but don't take IT out of me. My son actually used to say that to me and sort of my kids, I would literally go, I mean, it's gone on to work, but don't take IT out on me, on to work with you and so call the person out. And if you're not comfortable, start documenting IT and then go to H, R, and get some help with IT.

Final thing I want you to know for me, there are two types of jack out there, and we've already started to kind of unpacked this. But I really want to to highlight this for you. There are the jerks that are just entitled, like, I believe the woman at the hotel front desk was that he just think she's Better than everybody else.

And they treat people like crap because they're always treat to people like crap. You know, people like this, they're t to waiters. They're short with other people. They are full of themselves. They have a ton of their voice, their super pass.

We hate these kind of people, the kind of people that are rude for no reason other than because this is how they are and this is how they treat people. And I hate people like this. And you know what else? I can't stand.

I can't stand the fact that they tend to bully us, right? And we just give in. And IT just perpetuates this.

People get a Better room because they are mean to the person of the fantis. The world should not work like this. IT rains our energy.

That's why we give in. And so there's that type of jerk. And then there's this second type, which is more like the person in that coffee shop that I was explaining.

They're just under pressure and they can't tolerate the discomfort that they feel. I call these kind of people emotionally immature, and I use the word in mature because they throw tantrums. They're like a child who is so frustrated, so they threw themselves on the floor.

And they're in mature because they do not have a mature or responsible way of tolerating emotional stress. If you've just got somebody who's like grump y or kind of stand office or you work in a place like an investment bank or a law firm or some place, it's crazy competitive. You want to know how you flip this.

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Welcome back today. We're talking all about protecting yourself from negative energy and how you can flip the energy when you're dealing with somebody who's grumpy, your competitive in the workplace. So here's how you deal with a kr margin.

You shower carmagnola with clients. That's what you do. And I have first hand experience with this.

And boy does not work like a charm. IT is just awesome. And the reason why this works is the law of reciprocate, the law of reciprocity.

Ity is very simple. If you do something nice for me, I feel like I should do something nice for you. And this works with commagere.

I swear the goodness that does. If you ever walked into a mall and somebody opens that first set of doors for you, what do you do with the second set? You don't even think about IT.

You basically trip over your own feet to try to get to that door so you can hold IT open for them. You do nice for me. I'll do nice for you.

And this works with her margins at work. And i'm going to tell a story. So a number of years ago, I had the honor of being recruit by CNN to become an on air legal analyst.

What does that mean? That means that when Anderson Cooper is hosting his show and he goes, right, well, let's go to some commentary. And then there is a person sitting basically in a closet in the box on the screen.

That was me. I was not a reporter. I was a paid legal commentator.

That was a giving analysis on all the big cases. And I was a fascinating job. But I noted something. I noticed that people were not that friendly, so you would be down at CNN a in new york city in the time Warner center, which is where they were when I worked for them. And you're standing off the side of the set and you're going to go on to one of the shows and you're standing there with other legal commentators. These are your colleagues and everybody's on their phones and nobody y's talking to each other.

And if they're talking to each other at certain like, oh, so you know you you're on new day, okay, then are you going to be on actually show you going you're all i'm i'm done h well sort like like one upping thing as you're talking about how this year you're going to be today and what shows have called you? And is this we're thing I didn't like that and so this is what I decided to do. I decided that I was just going to proactively reach out and compliment my fellow legal analysts.

So paul Allen is one of of my calm, the professor. He's one of my favorite human beings in the world. So here's I would do IT. We'd be walking outset and i'd be like, paul, that was genius, what you just said, and paul's not a carmaker, but even he likes all thank you.

And when I would research a particular case that was breaking, you know what I did, I would forward the cases and the interesting articles I was finding to the other four paid commenters, because there were only five of us and all of CNN that we're on the payroll to do this, and we all had other jobs. This was like something we are all doing on the side. And so I started emAiling them, and then when I would see them on television, i'd be sitting home with my kids.

And one of them would be on because I wasn't called to do IT. I would tweeted them and tag them. There's my friend paul killing.

A great analysis, can I tell you? Took less than five days to melt the ice, and the five of us became such incredible friends. Joe Jackson, I miss you so much.

Danny, I miss you. Paul, come and I miss you. We had a blast. We always had each other other's backs. We became great friend, so much so that two years later, a woman reached out to me from CNN.

SHE was responsible for building out the program for analysts, and he wanted to meet with me because, SHE said, everybody inside of CNN talked about the come rotten y and the vibe between the five of us who didn't even live in the same city. And SHE wanted to know how we did IT. And I said, we just started cheering for one.

And so if you can stomach complimenting somebody on their work or on their nails, or don't be creepy about IT, but if you can find something, hey, you did a really good job with that. Even a commagere takes notice, and over time, you know what they do. The law reciprocate, kicks back in, and they start complimenting you back.

You see, at the end of the day, whether people grew up with parents who were jerks and so the model behaviour of being uh jerks and being pass and Better than other people or they're just emotionally immature and they can't tolerate their own emotions and that's why they threw tantrums. At the end of the day, everybody wants the same thing. We just wants to know that we matter.

We want to know that we're doing a good job. We wanted know that somebody appreciates that we're there. We want somebody to under stand that we're doing in our best, and we're stressed out. We're trying to get the coffee out as fast as we can.

We want somebody to have a little bit of compassion for the fact that i'm twenty four and wearing a big lazer and i'm going to best to try to help you and I want to help even more if you weren't a that's hold on me right now. That's what we want, a little bit respect, a little bit of kindness. And when you start to dial that up and you give IT out with radical generosity, IT comes back to you in incredible ways.

And so that's what you can do. You can certainly call IT out. And when you call IT out, not in a taggi zing way.

But hey, what's going on with you because you're not Normally like this. And you know, i'm happy to help you, but not when you're rude to me. When you visualize somebody thrown a tantrum in a snow globe, IT doesn't get on you or go to hr.

When you start dylon up your own positivity, what you are going to be Better equipped to do if you're using these tools, you can use the law, reciprocity, to slowly melt that carmaker into a real soft. I swear to got, i've done in my whole life, and you can do IT too. Now I wanna go to that juicy, amazing question that we got from the less, hi, well, I have a question about gossiping about other people.

I feel like it's so engrained into our lives. why? To be honest, I talk about other people all the time and sometimes it's not good things.

I'm just looking for some tips on how to stop the habit of gossiping and to call myself vote when it's truly none of my business anyways. Love your podcast and you think so less oh, so last I love you too. Great question. So I don't know who came up with that saying, but I love this thing that small minds talk about people and big minds talk about ideas.

So there's science here for why gossiping is bad for you when you gossip and engaging IT, which means you're listening to IT, you're dishing IT out, you're indulging in IT, you're a drennen and cortile that stress hormone, its bikes and IT also increases when you retell painful stories of being hurt or wronged by somebody who was gossiping about you. You literally put yourself in this fighter flight state. I'm proud of you for admitting that you gossip all the time.

And when you got up all the time, research shows that because your bodies in this on each state, IT makes you feel helpless, angry, anxious. And don't blame women for this, because a study that you see, riverside found that men engage in terror gossip just as much as women do. This is on all of us.

And so here's the wake up moment for all of us. This is a level of moment. IT is so simple to stop doing IT.

And let me give you the strategy that really has helped me stop gossip. Because I used to be a huge gossip. I used to grape about other people.

I'd spin myself into a top, like being all upset about other people and talking about people that weren't there. And I would get on a power kick by tearing somebody else down or talking about how, what are right. You can see the energy of gossiping is not cool.

Here's the strategy. Only talk about people who are present their room with you as IT don't talk about anybody who's not present that will make you stop gossiping because you don't gossip with people. They're present about them. No, you're gossip thing because you're talking behind somebody y's back, which means they're not present.

You know, if you're talking about somebody who's not present because you're concerned about him and you want help with how to help them or you've got some real issue that is either work related or friendship related and you're trying to solve IT for the Better. And so you're seeking somebody's advice, there's a different intent. There isn't IT when you're gossipping, you're just tearing somebody else down.

You're empowering yourself at somebody else's expense. That's very different than the intent behind getting advice or being concerned about somebody. And so here's what I always tell everybody.

I just make IT a rule not to talk about people who aren't present. That is like dropping a bomb in a DDL of conversation. If people are gossipping, you can literally just say, you know, i've make IT a role not to talk about people who aren't present.

Or you could say, aren't there other things we could talk about other than someone says life for marriage that stops people in their tracks and somebody might go there is somebody throwing a tantrum? They're the snow globe they got called out. That is a way that you can one thousand percent catch yourself from gossiping.

And here's the other thing, you got feet walk away just because other people are talking about IT. You can say, I don't like to talk about people who are in present and turn on and walk away because here's the other thing you need to understand about if they're doing IT with you, they'll do IT about you when you're not there. Because people gossip as a way to bond with other people is called transit tion.

Nurses is do this in particular by talking about other people in a derogatory way. The people that are gossiping are trying to build a bond with you. That means the second you're not there, they will track you in order to build a bond with other people.

And when you really get that as a truth, because IT is a truth that people who gossip with you, gossip about you, that will change how you look at all your relationships. And when you become the kind of person that makes IT a rule to not gossip about people, you will surround yourself with other people who don't got up about you. And that is a powerful change in your life.

You have the ability to impact so many people's lives. And I don't know if you realize just how powerful you are that your energy, your love, your enthusiasm, m being radially generous with IT IT can change anybody's day. And when you change somebody's day in a positive way, that great day can become a great week, and that great week can roll into an amazing month, and that amazing month can turn into an incredible year.

You just have no idea what somebody's dealing with. My friend at millet is one of my favorite people on the planet. He told me this story about how there is a person out in the world who was there when his father was struggling with alcoholism, and this stranger got his dad help.

And ed said, if IT weren't for that stranger, IT wouldn't be here. And that one act of kindness from one person can change somebody's entire life, and you have that power. And so I want you to think, as you head into your day about the image of blowing bubbles, you know, when a kid is blowing bubbles, and the bubbles catch the sunlight, and they float around and they fly away, IT feels so good, doesn't IT IT makes you smile.

And you can stand there on a beautiful Sunny day and blow bubbles, and they drift off into space. And who knows how far they go? Your energy is just like that, and you can spread good energy.

And you should. How do you do that? Be generous with the I love you.

Be super generous, telling people I appreciate you. In fact, I have a habit every single day. I make IT a habit to tell somebody that I appreciate them.

And I do that by either reaching out to a friend and telling them that I miss them and i'm thinking about them. I have a friend is going through A A really chAllenging moment right now with her dad. Hospice has been called in, and i'm texting her every morning, telling her that i'm sending her a hug and that he doesn't need to text me back.

But I just wandered to know that i'm here for her. I tell that to people that helped me in the grocery store. I tell that to anybody, honestly, because we all need to hear IT.

Thank you for helping me. Thank you for being here. I love complimenting people's nails, or their jewelry, or their hairstyle, or their socks, and smiling, smiling. And don't forget your family.

When somebody walks on the door, how do you greet them? Do you put a big smile on your face? Do you want the door? Say, welcome home.

Oh my god. I hope you had a great day. I always, always, always give our son oakly the biggest hug, and I hold that extra tight.

And I tell him i'm so happy to see him, because every time you do this, you smile, you wave your high five somebody, you give a hug, you tell them that you love him, you text somebody out of the blue, you are force for good. If you're staying in a hotel like i'm going to be tonight, leave a note for the person that's cleaning your room. A thank you, a smile face, tell them you appreciate them.

We all need to hear IT. And when you become radical, generous with your positive energy, with your compliments, with your enthusiasm, with your love, IT spreads unbelievable waves of joy and positivity, lifting people up in ways that you'll never know. So can we agree? We got our force fields up when IT comes to the negativity, but we got our positivity generously flowing around the world.

And speaking of which, I appreciate you spending your time with me. I know your time is the most valuable thing that you have, and I don't even know how to explain how much IT means to me to know that every single monday and every thursday that you and I are doing life together, that we're talking about IT that we're unpacking IT that we're laughing at IT that we're crying together, that we're figuring that out. And I just wanted to say, in case nobody else tells you, that I love you and I appreciate you and I believe in your ability to create by realize now go back.

Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. IT is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional. stitcher.

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