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cover of episode Stop Trying to "Trust Your Gut." Do This Instead. Works Way Better!

Stop Trying to "Trust Your Gut." Do This Instead. Works Way Better!

2023/5/8
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

AI Deep Dive AI Chapters Transcript
People
A
Amy
J
Jessie
M
Mel Robbins
一位专注于领导力和个人成长的著名_motivational speaker_和播客主持人。
O
Oakley
Topics
Mel Robbins: 在做决定时,应该忽略外界的干扰,专注于自身感受,相信自己的直觉,不要让别人的意见影响你的决定。 Oakley: 在做决定时,应该先倾听自己的内心感受,而不是询问他人的意见。“不行”的感觉是缺乏兴趣和热情,感觉封闭;“可以”的感觉是开放的、充满可能性和舒适感。 Amy: 在做重大决定时,不要被周围人的质疑所影响,要相信自己的判断。即使面临质疑,也要坚持自己的目标,最终你会获得成功。 Jessie: 要勇敢地做出改变,即使这需要克服恐惧和挑战。做出改变需要勇气,即使你不知道结果会怎样。 Mel Robbins: 做出正确的决定并不在于“相信直觉”,而在于拥有足够的勇气去按照自己的直觉行动。在做决定时,不要过度依赖他人的意见,要相信自己的判断。在做重大决定时,应该暂时远离外界的干扰,独自思考。 Oakley: 直觉会告诉你什么是对的,什么是错的。“不行”的感觉是缺乏兴趣和热情,感觉封闭;“可以”的感觉是开放的、充满可能性和舒适感。 Amy: 当别人质疑你的决定时,要坚持自己的想法,不要被他们的负面情绪所影响。即使面临质疑,也要坚持自己的目标,最终你会获得成功。 Jessie: 要勇敢地做出改变,即使这需要克服恐惧和挑战。做出改变需要勇气,即使你不知道结果会怎样。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mel Robbins shares her experience touring colleges with her son and how it led to a revelation about trusting one's gut in decision-making.
  • Mel's epiphany during a college tour
  • Importance of tuning out external influences
  • Personal story of trusting gut instinct in high school

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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There's a MC dot com flash gift guide. Hey, it's from mail, and welcome to the moments foca. I have been looking forward to talking to you all week lock, because I just got done with spring break.

IT was such a memorable spring break. I just want you to close your eyes for a second picture, the absolute spring break perfection. Maybe you imagine beautiful Sandy beaches, tropical waters, my time in your hand, you're just lying there with a good book like a beach twee, sunning yourself with not a care in the world.

It's quiet, nothing to do, nowhere to go, wouldn't be amazing. That is not what happened for me over spring right now. Not at all. We piled into my husband's pickup truck, and we did college doors. IT was fun, but I did not get time, and I was not on my best behavior.

I will explain why in a minute, but I did learn some really incredible things about trusting you got, and about the outside forces and influences that override what you know is true for you. We all know we need to trust our gut. That's like that.

The the thing is how? So today you and I are talking about god decisions, how to make them, why we need to make them. And we're going to do that in a couple of ways. First of all, you're going on college tours with me.

If you really think about college tours or even if you didn't go to college, but you are waiting and I going to go to the military, it's a moment in your life where you have a big decision to make and you're weighing options. And it's also this moment where everybody around you has an opinion. I mean, everybody, I am almost embarrassed to tell you how I behaved on one of the tours, but i'm going to do IT anyway.

I am going to put you right at the scene. That's right. You're going to hear all the details, the hilarious stories and the crying worthy things that I did. Capital c chrge worthy. Then i'm going to grab oakly, and I want him to give you his side of the story, because he's GTA really interesting take about making a god decision and tuning out everybody else. And you know, everybody has a story.

I am sure you have a story about a time in your life where you had to shut out everybody else, every annoying voice, every print or the voice, and you had to make a creative ous decision. And in fact, my friend's Jessie and amy, they have two stories that they're gona tell the end that I know you're going to a relate to. So on the topic of gut decisions, all go first.

I remember when I was touring colleges back in the eighteen hundreds, no, nineteen eighty five, the spring of my junior year, and we finally get to hand over new hampshire darner college. And I knew jack shit about the school. I step out onto the town Green, and there were students everywhere they were playing for me.

There were dogs running around. And I said, this is college. I remember going back home after that spring break trip with my parents and going into math class. And mr.

Beaver, my math teacher, ask me, what do you think? And I say, oh, i'm going to apply early decision to dermis. And he looks me, swear on the eye.

He says, that's a very hard school to get into, are you sure? And I said, yes, am sure. And he said, you Better not get your hopes up and he walked away from me.

That's all the melt Robins needs. Oh yes. Fucked off. Watch me. And I ended up applying E, D, and I got in, but I was that one person's voice, oh, it's really hard that really influence me.

And if I hadn't been such a son of a bitch, IT might have made me go always right. Who do I think I am? And so that brings me to present day.

So present day we go on these college towards without, and you know, when our daughters looked at universities, I just wanted them to go somewhere that they were going to be happy. I wanted them to fully on the process. And so I went through two college tour processes.

Just have a ball like, oh my god, so cool. Okay, so you like this, so you don't like that, like learning about my kids. Fast forward to last week.

I'm realizing as I analyzed my own participation in his college process, i'm kind of a freak. He's very clear. I do not want to be in a city and yeah, I am still like you want to look at bu mom is in a city.

Oh yeah yeah that you want to look at eric, mom is in a city. Oh yeah ah that's what about michigan? Mom, it's not new one.

You know, maybe you should look at color out of because, mom, i'd like to stay in new england. I'd like the fall season. Well, what about you land? But the mom that's in the south, I can help myself, you guys.

I don't know what is wrong with me, and I think it's important to share this with you, to confess to you what I did when we got to my ooma mother, because i'm kind of embarrassed about IT honestly, because I never thought I was that parent. I always said very vocally to our kids. Look, I got to go to the school that I wanted to go to.

Your dad got to go to the school he wanted to go to, which was u vm. He frequent loved IT. I often love dark.

Mh, we really had our college experience. You have to choose where you want to be. This is your experience, holy shit.

When oakly said, mom, I think i'd like to look at target. H I became a social path. Honest to guy, I don't know what got into me. And so i'm like trying to be like not like, oh my god, that's a crop. Oh my god.

Okay, uh, that sounds good idea for so we pull up on the campus and looked like the exact same kind of day as when my parents and I pull up in nineteen eighty five, bluebird sky kids all over the Green freeze bees dogs at oakly steps out. And he starts looking around and thinking, I could see him here. Now i'm fast forwarding, right? I'm going, oh yeah, I could see drop at him off.

I could see him walking across the Green. I'm starting to get invested. I'm certain to think, oh yeah, this is a good pit for us.

This would be really cool for us. Something came over me. It's like I became a psychotic em possessed with this all my mother destrier. And i'm thinking, oh my god, if he goes here and he has an incredible experience that i'm gonna to relive IT in a whole way, and I will redeem myself and I will get to love this school even more, and i'll get to go to his reunions because I never went to my reunion and I start to get completely in rap shirt in the story and I can come up for the games and oh, and there's went a carvable and oh my god, summer session, I forgot about summer set and I start to get this tornado of enthusiasm.

And I loved as we're walking down the stairs and and the stairs are made of marble, and you can feel like the dip in the stairs, because the buildings are so old, and only who these stairs are cool like that, because these stairs are two years, although only they're the same stairs as when I was there. So we get out on the Green and they now separate us out. And there's four tour guides, and the one tour guide on the right is super cool.

And his wearing flip flops and shorts because, of course, all the dark with kids were flip flops and shorts in April because, you know, it's new hampshire in the midwinter mud season and like a we're going with me. So now i'm even pushing him to pick the person because i'm thinking if he gets that tour guide because the kid plays ultimate oakly plays ultimate is like a really kind of cool kid oakley in the theatre. Okay, we're going to get this kid.

So i'm like inching oakly the tour starts and I am that parent i'm pushing us tour the front you gotta hear you got, get up close, get up close. Sea is like, cheers. I can't hold myself.

You guys, he's talking about the credit and they have a wellness credit. And I like, do they still require you to pass a swim test to graduate? And then the college tour went right past my freshman dorm window.

I had a flashback to the last day of freshman year when completely unorganized, undiagnosed anxiety written A D, H D. Mail had not planned on the fact that in order to get home to michelin, SHE was gonna to board a flight later that day. So I finish exams, I walk into my dorm room and I have a complete fucking panic attack because I don't know what to do with my shit.

So, you know, I did. I pop the screen off the window, and I started putting stuff out the window, and then I put a bunch of pieces of paper on IT that said free. And I left.

That's what I did from the dorm fridge that we had bought to lamps, to the rug, to odds and and read there on the lawn at one point on the tour, as I was hanging back, Chris puts his hands on my shoulder and just ever so champy post me back towards him. Now let's let us ally go on the tour. Are you am sorry, I just, i'm just so excited.

I'm so so but I pulled myself together because I don't want to be pressuring my kid. I don't want to be that annoying alarm or mom on the tour who won't shut up. I know I need to give him a space to just have his own experience.

So we just started hanging back and Christiani distance star cell further and further away from the group, just to give oak some space. And I imagined that I put a marginal dock on my nose, just so each and one always tempted that I didn't say anything. And for the rest of the tour, I was back to my own self.

I was good. And then a funny thing happened. The tour was over. The group started to disperse, and oakly turns around.

And the first thing he says is, so what did you think? And I said to him, IT doesn't matter what we think. IT matters what you think.

And i'm telling you this because that moment right there, that moment when we were standing ethical, and he turned around and instead of telling us what he thought, he asked us for our opinion. What do you think that's what we all do? We know deep inside how we feel.

And yet instead of just leading into IT, we turn around and we're like, or what do you think? And I point this out because there's some decision that you have to make and you've got somebody annoying, like I was annoying at the beginning part of the tour going all you will be hearing all you should do this and you should that you do the thing you break up with or you don't we have this reflexive nature, don't we? We're instead of tuning in and going, I could see myself here or this relationship is over or don't want to do this job anymore.

Or could I see myself here or what do I want to do next? We turn around and we go, what do you think? And that's where we lose our power because IT doesn't matter what anybody else thinks because you're the one that's going to have to live with the decision.

And so over the course of the week, we toward a bunch more colleges, and I noticed that oakley was becoming faster and faster at getting to either a clear yp or a clear no IT was like within minutes he was just bomb crossing the college. Athletic, athletic, athletic. Don't need to go on the tour.

Let's not waste our time. He was incredible to see how quickly he was just happened to his. He was rolling with what he felt.

And so I wanted you to hear not only his hide of the college tour think, but I also wanted you to hear his take on how he was getting to a yes or no and making those gut decisions. And we're going to do that after a quick word from our sponsors. Stay with us.

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Flash mail terms and conditions apply linked in the place to be to be. Welcome back. I ml. Robins. And today you and I are talking about gut decisions and how important IT is to tune out the other voices around you so that you can feel what's right for you.

I promise that I would grab oaky and bring him up here so he could share with you his version of our college tours. And I also want to ask him a few questions about how he was able to just get so quickly to a yes or no about these colleges we were visiting. And here is what's up?

oke. What's up, guys?

What's up? what? What's up? Oak is, I wanted to talk about college stores. Yes, IT was actually great. I love spending the time with you, and I loved watching you go through the decision making process. And we went to the first school member.

that one I do hard. Now.

how did you know .

just my whole body?

What's a no feel like?

Just very uninterested and enthuse feels very closed off. Just I don't want to be there anymore feeled a place what? So what I know feels like for me. Okay.

second school.

that big star move.

start with college, was IT weird to have a parent on the tour with you that went to that school.

Yes.

yeah, you can call me out. Yeah, I was weird. How come was weird?

Because on the tour we'd be walking in, the tour guide would say something, and then you'd be able to go on a depth about IT or you'd talk about all these many traditions that happen.

Was that annoying?

Yeah, I wasn't going to let your opinion, or dad, opinion affects me, because this is the next four years of my life. And so no matter how you felt or what you said, I was not going to let IT affect me. There was one point where you, where we were walking, and you were saying something about how my application for darkness, when I E.

D. Here, it's going to need to show this and this and and I turned you, and I just say, how do you even not going to apply here? Because you had already had this vision of me applying and going here, but I wasn't let that get my way.

So how did you get to a yes? What is a yes feel like.

yeah, yes is .

super .

open. You feel lots of possibilities. You feel like you're in the right place, you feel comfortable um you can see a month of different opportunities and possibilities in the space.

Oh, that's a great way to put IT that you feel super open, you feel expansive. Wanted to yes, like you're gonna grow that there's possibility, you know, there was something else that happened later in the week during the college doors that I can stop thinking about to remember one of the schools we visited, they didn't even allow the parents to go on the same towards their kids.

I mean, that is just so brilliant. Yeah when your kid and your torn colleges, your parent is essentially your guide and you look to them for answers and praise or denial. And so maybe you're liking the college.

So you want to see if they also like IT. And if they don't, you may feel though, oh, well, then I shouldn't this one because they don't like this one, or I should like this one, but because they like this one. And so the tour guide, ts, split IT up because when you're on the tour, you no longer has someone to turn to and ask if they like IT or not. You just are on that tour with yourself having to feel .

about IT. I think that's an incredible metaphor. How quickly could you tell when I like analyze? This came as pretty .

quickly there are people .

around you whose energy impacts you and IT screws with your ability to know what's true for you, whether it's your friends or it's your family or it's your boyfriend or your girlfriend or significant other. There is somebody that you turn to and go, what do you think? And they're right on the tour with you on life.

And when I think about how you make good decisions, I come back to this visual of, imagine all those people that you want to turn and goes. What do you think about this? Imagine them being on a different tour. You're there alone assessing what you need to do.

right? And you're just your head thinking about what .

you think of IT. exactly. 哦, thank you for explaining how you tune into your instincts.

Because I didn't not to do that when I was your age. Mostly i've fumbled forward and backwards through life. I had no idea how to read or feel the decision.

The way that you do that is just so cool for somebody your age. You you're rock mok. Don't lose that no matter how annoying I get, do not lose the ability to tune e me out and just keep on feeling your way and of the decisions.

But and I think you are gonna have in the right direction. Thanks for me in your all right. As we lean further into this topic of learning how to trust you're gut, I wanted tell you something.

This is the truth. Your instincts are always right and the issue isn't trusting them. The issue is that you're afraid you're afraid to make a decision that you know feels right for you. So let's not even talk about trusting your god. Let's just focus on the real issue, courage. The reason why you're RAID to make a decision that feels right for you is because you're surrounded by other voices that instead of feeling what you need to feel and then finding the courage to act in accordance with the, you still stop, you turn around, you look around and you go.

What do you think you turn to the person you're dating or married? What do you think you think about you? What my parents going, what are my friends gona think? What are other people going to think you're still hanging around? People whose energy is influencing you? Or it's clingy, or its overwhelming, or its too dominant.

You Better believe other people's opinions are still clouding your judgment. And so we're gonna lean into this metaphor, this metaphor of being on a group tour, and how there are times in your life when you need to notice that your turn around and wondering what everybody else thinks, and that you actually have to leave the tour. You got ta step away from IT in order to make the decision.

That's right for you. You're gonna have to step on a different tour. You're gona have to leave all those other voices behind. You're gonna to join in with the future. You, with the person that is headed in the direction that you know you want to go.

Because when you stop on a solo tour, a tour that's LED by the future, you you're never, ever, ever gonna the wrong decision. Now, everybody in your family maybe like, hey, what do you do? Why you go over that way? Why on't going with us? We're going to this.

Like, I don't want to go in that direction. I want to go over there. That's why IT requires courage.

You can transfer where people going to think, get divorce, where I was cathode. People don't do that here. You mean applied a nursing school after your divorce. You can just do that. Oh yes, you can.

The more you realize that there is power when you listen to yourself, when you tap in the courage, when you step away from the group think, and you listen to your think, your instincts are right. The problem is never your instincts. The problem is your fear.

And the fact that you're so scared of what everybody else thinks, you're scared of upsetting mom, you're scared of what everybody else is going to say, that you don't listen to what your heart is telling you, is right for you to do. So I want to make sure you are aware of what I know a big N O feels like. And there's a couple questions that you can ask yourself so you can feel IT.

Does IT shrink you? Does that make you feel stuck? Do you lose your energy? That's a hell.

fricking. No, you can feel IT or is IT. Yes, there's possibility there's growth that kind of scary, but there's expansion here.

You could see yourself a year ahead in this different life. Yes, it's gona disappoint people. Yes, it's gona require change. Yes, it's gona require you to learn something.

You, yes, it's gona require you to step away from that group that pack that way of thinking, that direction that you've been heading. And that is freaking terrifying. That's why you don't do IT.

But we're going to change that because there's a different tour. There's a different option. The future, you is trying to say, to go over there, come over here with me, come on going in this direction, let everybody is going in the other day you come with me. And this is so important because way too often other people, they will lead you in the exact opposite direction that you need to go.

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Welcome back. I ml. Robins. And you and I are talking about gut decisions, how you make them. And I really want to hone in on this idea of tuning out other voices. And to do that, i've got this incredible story that I want you to hear. So amy, you have this experience when you are running, you're marketing and copyright agency and you are in this business mastermind group, where you are meeting with a bunch of other business owner and they almost try to stop you from doing this amazing thing in your business. We just tell everybody the story.

Yeah, sure. So my story is that I was in a mastermind, uhh, which is kind of like a tour bunch of people to gather, doing things with their businesses that that they wanted do, achieving goals together and pat each other on the back, and like supporting each other. So one day I showed up with the map of mine and I said, you know, you guys, that's what i'm going to do.

This my next big thing. I am going to make what I made last year in this next month. wow.

Yeah, it's a thing that people do.

I mean, it's not like IT wasn't my idea. I'd heard from somebody else. I wanted to take my business to the next level. And if you really believe in yourself or want to find out what's holdin you back, try to make what you made last year in one month.

Can I ask your question? Yeah so things we're talking about got instinct when you heard somebody say that you can make a quantum leap if you're willing to fine the courage to go. That's IT next month.

I'm making what I made last year, next month in my business. What was the process of even going? I'm doing that because that's pretty courageous and bold. Was there is something that happened yet happy.

I just felt like I want that quantum leap that sounds amazing. That sounds like a living life. That sounds like i'm gonna a be a different spot and that that is going to change me. And I think i'm going to really love that.

It's almost like if you think about the tories logy, IT is like the future was like.

no, no, come over here. exactly. IT really was. IT was like, this is your next step and is a big one.

wow. Okay, so you're running your copy rating and marketing business. Yes, you go into .

this mastermind. Oh, these people are supposed to be supporting me. And what happens? I am going to make what I made last year in this next month, and dead .

silence .

after I announced that everybody was just like mentally regrouping from what I had to say, and there was just like total silence. And I said, well, I mean, it's, i've heard other people .

do IT you .

know and I say.

what what is what what .

you got like yeah, now, because I wanted to know what they thought, but I just was kind of like, where's everybody so silent, you know and then the voices started talking and the voices of everybody, my matter manger, how? How are you going to do that? I never heard that before.

Why would you want to do that? You can do that. You need a longer run way. You can do IT next much.

How much did you actually make last year? what? What are you thinking? What is this going to do for you? Why would you want to put that on yourself?

And when that started happening.

what did you feel? I felt assaulted almost. You know, like in the sense that I knew that this is what I needed to do.

I knew that this was right for my future self, and I couldn't believe that people weren't supporting me and and couldn't see that I could actually do this. I really couldn't believe that people were holding me back from IT. But there was this one woman.

I will never forget her. Her name is richlin, right? okay? SHE is an american sylvian SHE lives in micheline, and we love her. He is a ball of fucking fire, okay? And he said, I think everybody should back off because is actually gone to do this and she's basically told everybody to shut up.

She's like i'm taking a different tour me with me and that's what .

happened about one of the things that he said that I remember is if he wants to do IT why would you let her try IT like why are you guys trying to convince her SHE can't and I love that because if I could do IT, even then they could do IT. And if I could do IT, and then we all would be a Better group because I did IT. But look at what they did instead they just said, no, no, you can. You can maybe because they didn't want to have to do IT you know.

like did you do IT .

I didn't do .

IT what I did .

do IT I committed to IT and i'll never forget this two weeks into my commitment to myself in my group even though they could care less except for a chelly right um I got a phone call from a client. He is a creative director and he asked me to write ten e books in the next month and you know, name your Price. You are the person to do that.

I won. Never forget I was on with sixty four around the out cisco's IT, and the phone rang. And as soon as IT wrong, I saw hood was. And I was like, this is happening right now.

Oh my god. Super t yeah. I love that.

I was an an amazing feeling. wow. IT was the .

feeling that I wanted, right? IT was that feeling that I was hoping I would have when I took on that chAllenge.

As you are describing this, I was immediately back in class with mr. Beaver going, you're not going to get in there, but not get your homes up. And I didn't have the Rachel I right.

I had to be that for myself. I had to be like, fuck you, fuck off, watch me fuck do this and you have to do that for yourself because it's a gift. I were merely just started a walking group pure in southern vermont this morning, and they were like, twenty five women showed up.

And there was this one woman that was super cool. Everybody was cool. But she's saying story about how SHE recently acted in nursing school after getting divorce. And IT was because he had a where celi right next to was like, well, you won't be a nurse. Just go back to scholars like that. All you need to do IT is because when somebody says just go back to school or just get the divorce or just change your job or just move for that moment, you allow yourself to imagine what life would feel like and that's what the yes feels like yeah .

and all those people in my mastery group, they didn't want to be open to that I you know for me and maybe even for themselves too. I think we don't do that a lot. We don't say, like, what's possible now. We say, like what? What's the next word thing I gotto do?

It's so true. And that's why I love this metaphor of that moment of going on a college tour. Because IT is a moment where you contemplate very intentionally, your next move, and we all have that opportunity in our lives at any moment.

Yes, to basically go, okay, the tour i'm on is headed over here and it's these voices and your stories about very loud voices timing in kind of the way I was with the annoying way on the dark. But I also can think about periods of my life for my emotions, but this, but that what are you going to do? But you don't know how to do that.

But that was me during the entire experience of being in law school and being a Young lawyer, knowing I don't want this, and yet being that negative voice for myself. Like, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but you can do this, but that, but every boy's going this stretch. But what are you going to do? You know what you're going to do.

Then you Better do this. And you always years, decades, even of your fucking life moving in the wrong direction, because you will not slow down and tune into what you know is true. You're afraid of IT.

That's why keeps saying IT requires courage. And yes, you will ultimately end up where you need to go, but you can save yourself the headache, the heartache and the breakdowns and the years that you will waste in the wrong direction. Do I regret going to moscow? No, because it's a decision that I made.

But could I have gotten where I am without IT? Of course I could have. 嗯, 哼, of course I could have. And I didn't have to torture myself the way that I did, right? I love the visual of parents.

And you know going off in one direction with their opinions and their agendas and there's like your mastermind group wattling off in that direction. Yeah and then there's another choice. There's the future.

You no, come on here. Come on and this just take a tour of what life could look like doesn't mean it's gonna happen. But I think in even finding the courage to allow yourself to imagine that and .

that's the part that I was saying, you know, when you're like on that was really brave, IT was like, yeah and if IT didn't happen, I would have still learned a lot. I would have grown a lot, and I would have known what it's like to feel the support of somebody like Richard. I was for me in that moment, and that would have been great for me to know.

And IT would have been OK even if I didn't make IT. And I think that that's why I wasn't really that scared, because I knew that I would learn so much. I absolutely feel like I was a fast forward button that I pushed.

I love that. Oh my god. You have the courage to push fast food.

fast forward. And of course, when I was in that fast forward moment, those ten e books. And then after that, I got a ton of work. And guess who I turned to, and I had too much work, and I needed so contract rotella.

right?

Rachel ri is right there. Part of the success. Wow, I love you know, I love and still like SHE comes up in my feed sometimes and it's like my heart just just glows when I see her name because she's behind me you know .

what's cool, everybody? The second that you break from that tour with critical voices and you join your future yourself, you catch up to a tour of people that are on the same path.

H, I just got the chills. When do you said that? Because that's what I always wanted from life.

My people that I know have the same vision that I can support that are supporting me to me that's really living like I remember being in grammar school. Look at my classroom. B like we're just random people in here.

We don't really belong to you, your family. Sometimes really, there's just random people. And I always love to be in the company of other people that are just in the same jet stream that I am.

Yes, and that sets up the story I want to tell you because I think whether you identify with amy and you have people around you saying you can't do that or you identify, even with the experience that oakley with where everybody's weighing ing in on the decision and everybody's asking and there's a toner pressure and you ve got to just tune IT all out. A lot of us struggle with our own voices, our own insecurities, our own fears.

It's not even that other people are telling you what to do. It's that you're so busy looking around and being concerned of making up stories about what other people are thinking and about your own emotions that you can't a settle yourself down and be honest with yourself about what's actually not working. And what you really want is more often than not that the voices that you're hearing are the ones that you're making up.

So as we were talking this morning as a team, Cameron, our team was also sharing a story about how SHE applied inDiana university and new immediately as he was dropped. Not for me, not for me. Like way too big.

It's too far away. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. And the voices that capture there were her own concern and fear. Same as me in moscow.

What are people? People who transfer are losers. What are people going to think? You know, they're all going to judge me and SHE.

even when she's telling a story, her dad said to her, you can transfer and SHE just swapping that away like i'm .

not transfer people going to do that. That's your own story. Same thing that I did did myself in moscow. You hear the no louder than the yes. And so if you're sitting here going, i've gotten tune out what my spouse folks, what my boyfriend and a girlfriend thinks, what my family thinks. I got a fast forward.

And I gotto ask myself, do I picture myself in this life a year for now? And if the answers know, you dam will Better get on a tour with the future year and start feeling out what you want to do. And all you need to know is not this, not this, anything but this.

Anything with this. So whatever wake up call you're having right now. Because I think you're probably realizing there's an area of your life where you are literally surrounded by loud voices, whether the loud voices are your own fear or your own story.

You gotta notice what are you turning around, going? What do you think? What are you realizing that you've taken all these other people on the tour with you when really you need the future you to go? No, no, come over here.

Let's just kind of time travel forward. Let's consider this decision of going back to nursing school. Let's consider this decision of stopping the crying and stopping looking backwards, and we're not doing that anymore.

Let's put your life back together. Let's do that. And it's not easy.

I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do. I'm saying it's the thing you need to do. There's a difference between something being easy and something being right. I noticed Jessie, who runs video production here, is starting to get all teary, died shocking.

Yeah, I hearing you guys say that the these life changing moments, these pivots that you ultimately have to make yourself and you have to have the courage to make IT yourself. I did. That was after my soft more year in college.

I was a pharm macy major that was not make. I knew IT going in, signing up for college. Why am I? I don't want to do.

I don't want to be a fire st, but I want to do IT this is all I know you. I worked in a pharmacy in high school, counting pills. After high school, I had my job hair teter rush e star loved IT thought, this is the only thing I know.

Guess i'll be a farces. So I just look back here and you guys say that it's like i'm just so proud of that twenty, twenty one year old Jessie, who made a booking huge pivot and was scared cheaters. And I oman, I had to do summer school for organic chemistry tale.

I passed organic chemistry one, not so much you're going na can trek to, just why I had to do summer school. I had to take a test. And my professor pulled me after the test, was like, do you really want to do this? No, I D, I don't.

You called me out. Thank you. I don't want to do this. So after that, of course, I saw i'm going home.

I got all my books for the, I think it's the pizza, the pharmacy school books that you take. I've been studying in my eyes, so i've trying to, like, make this, just fit this into my life. So I have to change my major.

I do not want I going to do. I didn't know anyone who wanted to do broadcasters nal ism. I didn't know anyone who was gone to stay in extra semester because I changed my major, so changed IT.

And i'm just so proud of that girl because he did that. And I ve had such an incredible career so far that i'm really proud of. That is not pharmacy is what my heart wanted, that I always knew I wanted. I didn't know anyone going after this path.

How did you know? How did you find the courage to do? IT?

I don't. I, I don't. I wish I had a clear answer, but I was something that I wanted to just try.

Where did you feel in your body?

Oh, in my heart, in my heart, Fisher, and share enough when I change my major add extra semester. I when I went back to school that fall, I found an internship with the football program. And that was just, again, like, good job, kid, you did that with no one helping you. But I wanted to, I was my own little tour guide.

There go you or your own little tool guide. And I think that is a huge take away from this. You have to be your own tour guide life. You have to let the future you in the heart and what you're drawn toward go, hey over here, leave the pack and come in this direction. And when you do that, things magically align. And I think that's the other thing that you know, amy and I were just talking about, which is we think we're going off alone, but there's actually a whole other group of people you're catching up to.

yes. And now some of .

my best friends yeah you to just that oh my god, so cool. Thank you.

Thank you guys. We're sharing that. I just made my heart take a little bit so well.

I think that's the whole point of this conversation that whether you catching yourself from influencing somebody else or you are realizing that you have been heading in the wrong direction and its time for you to find your future self and walk in a new direction, that's exactly what I wanted.

I wanted this conversation to make your heart flutter, and this conversation to remind you that you've done this in the past, and to remind you that you can do IT again and again and again and again. And I will never not require courage, because IT requires you to step out on your own. We all know we need to trust our gott.

That's like, that's the the thing is how and so take away. Number one that I want you to leave with is stop saying trust a gott and start saying I need to have the courage to make decisions that away from me. Second, feeling, feeling, feeling.

Give yourself the ability and the time to drop into your body and feel whether or not the decision or the direction opens up, possibility IT levels you up IT maybe scary as hell. I mean, think about amy story. How are you going to do twelve months of revenue in one months? You have you just declare that.

Who the fuck does that you do if IT feels like a part of you is shrinking? How i'm going here because everybody in my family, one here am a doctor, because everybody and my families a doctor. I live here because everybody lives here.

That's not the right decision. When you do drop in and you allow yourself to step onto a tour with the future, you find the courage, the courage to move in that direction. And one more thing, in case nobody else tells you today, I love you.

I don't care where you went to college. I believe in you. I believe in your ability to tune out the noise, to step onto a tour with the future you, and to walk into the direction that you know is right for you. already. I'll seen in a few days good art with.

Oh, one more thing. It's the legal language. This podcast is presented solely for educational and entertainment purposes. IT is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapy or other qualified professional. stitcher. Experiences make life more meaningful n and with master cards, Priceless that com, you can immerse yourself in unforgettable experiences in dining, sports, art, entertainment and more in over forty destinations.

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