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cover of episode The Best Years of Your Life Are Ahead of You: A No BS Approach to Feeling Stuck

The Best Years of Your Life Are Ahead of You: A No BS Approach to Feeling Stuck

2023/5/15
logo of podcast The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Mel Robbins Podcast

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Mel: 本期节目探讨了人们在生活中遇到的问题,往往是因为我们关注错了方向,没有找到问题的根本原因。通过园艺的比喻,Mel 指出,解决问题不能只停留在表面,要找到问题的根源才能彻底解决。生活中反复出现的问题往往是相互关联的,需要找到根本原因才能解决。 Mel 帮助一位名叫 Ricky 的听众分析了她目前面临的困境:工作不满意,身材走样,人际关系不佳,并且对自身状态感到失望。Mel 指出,Ricky 的负面情绪和错误的认知是阻碍她进步的最大障碍,她给自己设限,认为为时已晚。Mel 鼓励 Ricky 要相信人生最好的时光还在前方,只要努力,一切皆有可能。Mel 认为,Ricky 的行动和信念不一致,导致她停滞不前。 Mel 进一步指出,Ricky 过去经历的重大事件,如父亲的去世和感情的失败,对她现在的生活产生了深远的影响。Ricky 经历了长期的悲伤,并且未能从中恢复过来,处于一种冻结的创伤反应状态,阻碍了她前进的步伐。急性悲伤可能会转化为慢性悲伤,潜藏在内心深处,影响日常生活。Mel 帮助 Ricky 意识到,她未能处理好父亲去世带来的悲伤,导致她无法接纳爱和快乐,把自己封闭起来,在感情中出现问题。 Mel 鼓励 Ricky 要改变她的信念,将日常行为与新的信念保持一致,打开心扉,接纳爱与连接,才能改变现状。Mel 建议 Ricky 写信给去世的父亲,表达思念之情,并承诺自己会努力生活,实现梦想。Mel 相信,重新拾起曾经热爱的事情,比单纯地改变工作更有意义。 Mel 分享了自己的经历,即使在人生低谷,依然有可能创造美好的未来。Mel 鼓励 Ricky 要相信自己,努力改变现状,创造美好的未来。 Ricky: Ricky 分享了她目前面临的困境:工作不满意,身材走样,人际关系不佳,并且对自身状态感到失望。她尝试过各种方法,但仍然感到很迷茫和无助。 在与 Mel 的对话中,Ricky 逐渐意识到,她父亲的去世和她目前的状态之间存在着某种联系。她曾经热爱运动,但在父亲去世后,她失去了继续运动的动力。Ricky 也意识到,她过去一段时间的感情经历也与她的悲伤情绪有关。 在 Mel 的引导下,Ricky 开始反思自己的生活,并逐渐认识到自己需要改变。她决定写信给父亲,并去墓地表达自己的思念之情。Ricky 也决定重新拾起自己曾经热爱的事情,例如写作和表演。

Deep Dive

Chapters
Mel Robbins introduces the concept of working on the wrong problem and uses a gardening metaphor to explain how digging deep is necessary to overcome life's obstacles.
  • People often work on the wrong problem in their lives.
  • Digging deep to find the root cause is essential for real change.
  • Mel Robbins uses a gardening metaphor to illustrate this concept.

Shownotes Transcript

You know what you want and how to start.

 

But you never make progress.

 

Here’s my wake up call for you today:

 

What’s holding you back is never what you think.

 

Today I am coaching a woman who says:

 

I can’t make myself do what I need to do. I feel like I’m in quicksand. Every time I try to move…I sink.**

 

She has:

-put on an extra 30 pounds

-left her relationship with herself in the gutter

-no longer does the things that make her happy

-broken promises to herself time and again

 

I bet you can relate. 

 

This is a must-listen if you want to: 

 

be healthier…

go back to school..

find your dream home…

make new friends…

go for that promotion…

write a book…

land your dream job…

 

But you just can’t make yourself take the actions you need to take.

 

Stop frustrating yourself by trying to solve the wrong problem. 

 

Your dreams matter. 

 

Today you’re learning where to find the right solution.

 

Pull up a seat for a conversation with a listener like you as we uncover what’s really holding her back. 

 

Xo Mel 

 

In this episode, you’ll learn: 

  • 2:15: This metaphor will help you understand why you’re stuck.
  • 6:00: I bet you can relate to Ricki’s story. 
  • 8:15: The bad news that made Ricki’s face drop.
  • 11:30: Here’s why you don’t believe your life will get better.
  • 13:30: What happened to you earlier in your life that broke you?
  • 18:15: Maybe you resist a part of your life because it links to something painful.
  • 21:30: When acute grief turns into chronic, underlying grief.
  • 31:00: You can’t invite love, joy, and connection, if you’re closed to it.
  • 33:15: I get where Ricki is, because I used to close myself off in the same way.
  • 39:30: Here’s my assignment for Ricki that I know she needs to do.
  • 41:00: Give yourself permission to be happy again by connecting to this.
  • 45:00: Here’s why I truly believe the best years of your life are ahead.
  • 46:30: Ricki recorded an incredible update for you and me.

 

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