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Therapy is Making Things Worse

2025/5/2
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Dr. Laura Call of the Day

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Daniel: 我在接受PTSD治疗,但我感觉没有好转。我兄弟两年前自杀身亡,我一直为此感到悲伤和愤怒。我不确定我是否真的患有PTSD,我觉得这个诊断现在太容易得到了。我觉得不断地反复咀嚼过去的痛苦经历,并没有帮助我走出悲伤,反而让我更加痛苦。我的治疗师让我不断地回顾我兄弟自杀的细节,这让我感觉很糟糕。我担心我会被这件事影响一生,但我也有责任继续生活,照顾我的侄子。 Dr. Laura: 我认为你不需要PTSD的诊断。悲伤和愤怒是失去亲人后正常的反应,这并不代表疾病。不断地反复回顾痛苦的经历只会加剧你的痛苦,这种治疗方式是无效的。你应该允许自己感到悲伤,然后继续生活。你不需要对你已故的兄弟负责,你应该为了自己和爱你的人继续健康地生活。你应该把精力放在爱你的人身上,而不是沉溺于悲伤和愤怒。你应该向那些在逆境中依然保持韧性和同情心的人学习,他们即使在最艰难的时期,也能展现出生命的价值和意义。

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Thanks for listening to my call of the day podcast. You can hear my live radio program Monday through Friday from 2 to 5 p.m. Eastern Time on Sirius XM Triumph 111. Daniel, welcome to the program. Hi, Dr. Laura. Thank you so much for taking my call. Thank you. What can I help you with? Yeah, I just wanted to start off by saying you are such a lovely lady and I listen to you every day and I love the program and I just wanted to thank you for that.

Thank you. Basically, I wanted to get your opinion. I've been starting these PTSD treatment sessions, and I'm calling from Toronto. Were you in the military? No. Oh, then what do you think gave you PTSD?

So that's the thing. I don't even know if I have PTSD. What do you think gave you PTSD? What do you think? Because you came right on and told me you're in therapy for that. So what happened to you? What's the trauma? My brother passed away two years ago. He took his life. How about you're sad and mad? Why did we go to a diagnosis of PTSD?

Why did we give you a clinical chair? I mean, why? That's a good question. I just feel like that's something that's given out so freely now. And, you know, this is the type of counseling we think you need. You're upset that your brother died and killed himself. Isn't that normal reaction? Why does it need a diagnosis? I don't understand. Help me. Yeah.

Well, that's a good question. I don't even know if that's something that would require a diagnosis. No, I don't think so. I think everybody in the universe who loses somebody by death, whether it was by that hand or someone else's, is going to be terribly upset. And I call that normal, not a disease. Right.

Yeah, and I just like, I think you're right about that. And just the fact that, you know, to constantly sit down and rehash it and go over it and, you know, Hashing and going over it makes things sit in cement. It's ridiculous form of therapy. Ridiculous. Yeah, I mean, I've basically, like I've been trying to tell You don't have to try to tell anybody anything. Why are you in therapy?

Yeah, that's a good question. I didn't know if it would help or not. Help with what? Feeling sad? You're not supposed to get help for feeling sad. You're supposed to feel sad. It's a normal human neurobiological mechanism. Normal.

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You know, it's just something it's one of those things that like I just feel like I'm going to be very impacted by this, you know, for the rest of my life. And well, that's a nice place to hide.

It's a nice place to hide. I suggest that people who have a close family member who kills themselves probably has it in their minds for the rest of their lives, but it doesn't get in the way of them being kind to people, reading books, hiking, doing charity work, working out with weights, that it's in your mind for the rest of your life is part of it. Yet to use that as an excuse to not get on with living. Whoa. Yeah.

I mean, I definitely think that I owe it to him to continue living and doing all of those things. You don't owe anything to him. You don't owe him anything. He's the one who clocked out on his own volition. Didn't get help, didn't go to therapy for 50 years and talk about this.

He terminated himself knowing full well, as anybody does, that you damage everybody you leave behind. You owe him nothing. But you owe the blessing of life to continue living it in a healthy, productive way. You owe life that. You owe everybody in your life who cares about you. You owe them to not sit here and simmer in I'm sad and or pissed. Yeah, I agree with you.

So pay the debt to all the people around you who need you to continue living like a reasonable person. He's dead. He doesn't need your behavior to change. They're all alive. They need you to live with them. Yeah, they definitely do. I mean, I have a nephew. He has a child that's turning five and

I think that, you know, it's important that I, you know, continue to be a good uncle and just, you know, continue to be there for him. So stop with the therapy and start doing your best for everyone else. Yeah. There's nothing stupider than a therapy where you just sit and rehash the same crap again and again because that just fixates it. Right. And especially like if it's PTSD centered and, you know,

It's not PTSD. You know, they're coming up. Yes. That's the newest one. Yeah, I love that one. Nobody's narcissistic anymore. Now everybody's PTSD. You know, my profession, which has turned into a business, just goes in waves. That way they keep the revenue coming in. Yeah.

I think that, you know, I totally get what you're saying in terms of owing it to myself and living and doing all these things that, you know, are good for me. You said but. Do you know in concentration camps? Shush! Shush! Do you know that in concentration camps during the Holocaust, starving, terrified people shared their food?

Yeah, I know from first-hand experience, my grandparents. Well, they shouldn't have been able to do that. Yeah, but they did. That's right. You owe them to do better than you're doing now. You owe them. They not only valued life, they valued the quality of life. They valued compassion in spite of the satanic stuff going on around them. Yeah.

That's your heritage, not your brother. Yeah. Very good point. You have a lot to give, and there are many people who need you. That's how your life has purpose, meaning, and value. And in doing so, you're not going to spend a lot of time being sad because you'll be back into life.

Yeah. Well, thank you for that. I appreciate that. Okay, Sarah, call me anytime you need me to nag you again. You're amazing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. You're very welcome. You're very welcome. My number, 1-800-375-

2872. Check out my social media on Facebook and Instagram. I post stories, photos, and videos seven days a week and feature some of what you've sent me to. There's always something interesting going on there. You can find me at facebook.com slash drlaura and instagram.com slash drlauraprogram.

Okay, we've got Katie's project, Dan's bake sale, Emma has a test tomorrow? Uh, sweetie, I'm out of my blood pressure meds. Managing the house while Mama's gone is not easy. But did you know that now, Walmart Pharmacy has prescription delivery straight to your door? Wait, what? Really? Yep, just upload your prescription to the Walmart app and keep doing your thing. We'll bring your groceries and prescriptions all in one bag and straight to your door. Thanks. Dad, when does Mom come back? In 38 hours and 47 minutes. Okay.

Now, your pharmacy comes to you. Welcome to your Walmart. Delivery not available for all prescriptions. Exclusions apply.