What Was Pain Now’s Gain | The Portable Retreat
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Wondery Plus subscribers can listen to The Daily Stoic early and ad-free right now. Just join Wondery Plus in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts. Therapy is great. It's important. It can make your life a lot better. So why don't more people do it? Why don't we do it as often as we should? It's because a lot of therapists are out of network. It takes time to drive across town. It's uncomfortable. So we make excuses all

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To match with a licensed therapist today, go to Talkspace.com slash Stoic and enter promo code SPACE80 to get 80 bucks off your first month and show your support for the show. That's Talkspace.com slash Stoic, promo code SPACE80. Welcome to the Daily Stoic Podcast, where each day we bring you a Stoic-inspired meditation designed to help you find strength and insight and wisdom into everyday life.

Each one of these episodes is based on the 2,000-year-old philosophy that has guided some of history's greatest men and women to help you learn from them, to follow in their example, and to start your day off with a little dose of courage and discipline and justice and wisdom. For more, visit dailystoic.com. What was pain is now gain.

It didn't feel good at the time. In fact, it felt awful. You were crushed. You felt betrayed. You were anxious. You were scared. It was unfair. It was unexpected. It was the worst. But now, years later, we think about it a little differently. As the Bon Iver lyrics put it. What was pain now is gain. A new path gets laid. And you know what is great. Nothing stays the same.

Marcus Aurelius went through a lot, floods and war, plagues and coups. He had health issues. He lost people. He made mistakes. But with the passage of time, like all people, he came to understand that this misfortune was in some ways fortunate because it taught him, because he grew from it, because it challenged him to evolve spiritually.

and become greater than he already was. Good fortune, he came to understand, is not what happens to us, but is instead something we make for ourselves in how we respond to things.

It is inevitable that you will experience obstacles and setbacks in life. Just like it is inevitable that you'll catch a couple bad breaks and unfortunate mistakes somewhere along the way. But we are ultimately the ones who get to decide what these moments mean over the course of our lives. That nasty betrayal you experienced right as you were opening your first business, it sharpened you to treat each customer and employee with respect and care that you didn't receive.

a loved one gone too soon. That was the day you vowed never again to take time with a loved one for granted. And when you were passed over for that job or that promotion you were overqualified for, well, you broke down until you remembered why you first fell in love with what you did, which led you to seeking the mastery you have at your craft or vocation today. So whatever it is that you're going through, you'll get through it because nothing stays the same. And in

The end, you're made better for this because you don't stay the same. Hey, it's Ryan. Welcome to another episode of the Daily Stoic Podcast. We're doing some riffing from the Daily Stoic Journal this morning. I've got mine in my leather case. It says, make time. I got to make time to do that journaling. And when I don't, my psyche, my brain, my philosophy practice suffers. You can grab that at store.dailystoic.com. Today's entry is about the portable retreat.

It is in the future, on vacation, on our day off, when we plan to get out into nature, that we think we'll find peace and release from the crush of the everyday demands of life. But this never really seems to happen as often as we think, does it? And when we do get that peace, it's difficult to keep it once we're back in the fray.

Well, for the stoic all, this is madness. The true retreat is in the freedom of our own mind and soul to consider the gifts we already have can be our refuge for all time if we take the time daily to do so. So good for you taking a little quiet time this morning or evening to listen to a podcast. It's not cramming you full of info, but...

It's a bit more philosophical. And then hopefully you've got the Daily Stoic journal out or the Daily Stoic. But we've got three quotes in this week's entry, one from Marcus, one from Epictetus, and another from Marcus. Marcus Aurelius Meditations 4.3. He says,

when you can at any moment find such a retreat in yourself. For nowhere can you find a more peaceful and less busy treat than inside your own soul, especially if on close inspection it is filled with ease, which I say is nothing more than being well-ordered. Treat yourself often to this retreat and be renewed.

Then Epictetus says, remember, it is not only the desire for wealth and position that debases and subjugates us, also the desire for peace and leisure and travel and learning. It doesn't matter what the external thing is, the value we place on it subjugates us to another. Where our heart is set, there our impediment lies. And then Marcus Aurelius says, remember that your ruling reason becomes unconquerable when it rallies and relies on itself.

so that it won't do anything contrary to its own will, even if its position is irrational. How much more unconquerable if its judgments are careful and made rationally. Therefore, the mind freed from passions is an impenetrable fortress, and a person has no more secure place of refuge for all time. That's Meditations 8.4.8.

I'm thinking about this because I'm just doing a little recording here before I go to town. It's my kids' spring break. We're going to spend a week down at the beach. And I look forward to this and I enjoy it. And

I sometimes weirdly get more done there, more present there. You are a different person on vacation. But the Stokes would say, why? Does it have to be that way? What does it say that your life is something that you feel the need to escape from? So one of the things that I try to do, I mean, I like going down there. It's one of the perks of working for myself. I don't have to be in one location. And sometimes a change of scenery is good for things. But I ask myself, you know, what is it about my routine there that allows me to...

not feel so rushed in the morning, spend more time with the kids, sort of right at leisure? Why do I seem to have more time in the day? Why am I always available to catch the sunset? And what is stopping me from being able to do that at home? That's what Marcus is saying. He's like, look, the thing that's working here is you, that you're finding the retreat in yourself, that moment of stillness or whatever, and that's available to you anywhere. He says that

inside your own soul, there is peace and not so much busyness. I love taking my family. We go to Big Bend a couple of times a year, one of my favorite national parks. And, you know, what I love while we're there is looking up at this incredible sky. So little light pollution there. The stars just they feel like they pop right out of the black sky. I remember we went and then I was back a couple weeks later and I had to go take the trash out or something. And I live out in the country. There's not a lot of light pollution where I live.

And I sort of looked up for a second and I was like, this sky's almost as good as it is there. We drove eight hours to look at stars. And how many nights do I walk to take out the trash or get something my kids forgot in the car? And I don't take a minute to just step up and look. Right. That's kind of what I'm thinking about here is.

So much of what we give ourselves on those retreats or those vacations or those time away, we could have inside ourself any time we choose. And indeed, we deserve to do that. And I think about, you know, I read more, but I could read more here. I just, I throw my phone in the other room and I forget about it for a while. And I need to do that here. You need to do that here. Give yourself a staycation. Give yourself a life that's a little bit closer together.

to that vibe where you're a bit more philosophical. You're taking the time, you're retreating into your own self. You're finding the refuge that is there inside yourself. That's what it's all about to me. That's what I think the Stoics are reminding themselves. And look, Marcus Aurelius had a country estate. Epictetus had a country estate. They all traveled. They all saw the world. They weren't saying you never do it. They're just saying, don't do it as an escape. Don't do it

fooling yourself that it's not something you could have now inside yourself at any moment. And in fact, you must do it just takes a bit more discipline. It's not as easy as buying a plane ticket and planning a trip. So I, I hope,

whether it's close to your spring break here or not, or what plans you have, you take this lesson from the Stoics seriously, because it's an important one. And it's one I'm struggling with and thinking about myself. And I hope today's perspective was helpful. You can grab this cool cover we have for the Daily Stoic Journal at store.dailystoic.com. If you don't have the Daily Stoic Journal, you can grab them as a package and I'll sign it. And it's cool. It says make time on the front.

And it's a reminder from Epictetus, every day and night, keep thoughts like this at hand, write them, read them aloud, talk to yourself and others about them. That's what I'm doing on this podcast. That's what you're doing by listening. I really appreciate the opportunity to do that. I'll talk to you all soon.

Hey, it's Ryan. Thank you for listening to the Daily Stoic Podcast. I just wanted to say we so appreciate it. We love serving you. It's amazing to us that over 30 million people have downloaded these episodes in the couple years we've been doing it. It's an honor. Please spread the word, tell people about it, and this isn't to sell anything. I just wanted to say thank you.

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